This is what Sed said

When I Don't Desire God

2012-01-26T17:32:00.003+08:00

I've put off reviewing any John Piper books for a while for two reasons:

These books are already well-known, widely read, and widely reviewed.
I've found reading Piper's books to be a bit of a hard slog.

This book was given to me for my 23rd birthday and I read it right through for the first time in 2010. So if you give me books it shows I will read them eventually ('eventually' being the key word here). The title was what bumped this book up my reading list since I suspect I am not the only Christian who feels like I don't 'desire God' at times. We all have times of spiritual dryness and I desperately wanted to see if there was a cure.

The quote I posted yesterday is one of Piper's most well-known ones. It epitomises his theology - we are here to enjoy and love our Creator. I really appreciated this reminder of what it means to enjoy God. The problem is I often feel like I don't.

From the blurb:
For over twenty-five years John Piper has trumpeted the truth that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." He calls it Christian Hedonism. The problem is that many people after being persuaded, find that this truth is both liberating and devastating.

It's liberating because it endorses our inborn desire for joy. And it's devastating because it reveals that we don't desire God the way we should. What do you do when you discover the good news that God wants you to be content in Him, but then find that you aren't.

One of the main things I got our of this book was that joy is both a gift and a command. We are commanded to fight for joy, yet God is the only one who can ultimately give us that joy (it is a fruit of the Spirit). It sounds like a contradiction, but it is really just another example of the mystery of God (like prayer and the Trinity).

Piper goes into the difference between desire and delight, the role of God's Word and prayer in our fight for joy, and there is a very helpful chapter at the end entitled, When the Darkness Does Not Lift. Despite what it may sound like from the blurb, this book is NOT a guilt trip.

The reason I don't find Piper so easy to read is that he is a bit more theologically 'hardcore' than some other authors and also because he lacks the easy readability and chatty style of authors like John Dickson, whose books I have greatly appreciated. That doesn't mean that Piper is not worth reading. He is definitely worth a go, but you have to pick your time i.e. I've found I need to read it when I have the time and space to concentrate well - it's not a book to read when you're tired. For a long time I've felt like some kind of dummy because I haven't read and quoted Piper like older and more mature Christians I know, but now I realise that's ok. Piper is helpful, but he is not the only helpful author out there.

I heard a sermon at my church recently about the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is circumstancial; a person may feel happy when they are healthy, have friends, have employment etc, but that happiness is not sustained when these things are taken away. Joy, on the other hand, is not based on circumstances but on what God has done. I have joy in God because of who He is and what He has done, and this joy remains even when my personal circumstances are poor. Piper urges his readers to fight for JOY, yet he doesn't seem to think there is a great difference in meaning between happiness and joy:
In this book I will use many words for joy without precise distinctions: happiness, delight, pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, desire, longing, thirsting, passion, etc. I am aware that all of these words carry different connotations for different readers. Some people think of happiness as superficial and joy as deep. Some think of pleasure as physical and delight as aesthetic. Some think of passion as sexual and longing as personal. So I signal from the outset that the Bible does not divide its emotional language that way. The same words (desire, pleasure, happiness, joy, etc) can be positive sometimes and negative sometimes, physical sometimes and spiritual sometimes. That's the approach I take. Any of these words can be a godly experience of the heart, and any of them can be a wordly experience of the heart.

Interesting. I plan to look at joy and happiness more in another post, but would appreciate any thoughts you have on the two words.

This book is worth a read - particularly if you're going through a spiritual dry patch. But read it slowly. There's a fair bit to take in.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-25T16:22:00.001+08:00

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.
- John Piper

2011 Visitors' Honour Roll

2012-01-24T15:12:00.000+08:00

We didn't have quite as many people staying at our house last year as we have in previous years. Mostly this was due to the renovations and the fact that, at times, I really wasn't up to having stacks of guests. But this year I'm feeling differently. The house is done and I'm feeling a bit more 'with it'. So, if you're up for a weekend (or even a few weekdays) on a farm three hours south of Perth, give us a yell.

My parents in February, April and August

Alison in March

Duncan's parents in April

Joel and Sam (and their dog, Sandy) in April (no photo though)

Jill (and Daisy) in July

My parents and Neil and Cheryl in October

Duncan's cousin-law, Paul, stayed on and off for two weeks in December to help out with harvest.

The Christmas mob.

Girls' Day Out in the Park

2012-01-23T17:03:00.000+08:00

There was no better way to spend the last day of 2011 than a picnic lunch in Albany with two of my greatest friends, Emma and Rianna, and Emma's 17 month old daughter, Eleanor.

While we were there I couldn't help but notice how much this park has changed since I was a kid. The wooden forts and climbing frames have gone and all of the new equipment is very 'safe'.

The scariest thing is that I'm no longer playing in the park with my friends...now I'm playing with my friends' kids!

Ready, here I go!

Weeeee!

Soooo cute!

And she's off!

You're never too old for swings. Never! :)

Geography Lesson

2012-01-19T15:05:00.000+08:00

According to my stats I have readers from all over the world. I suspect most blogs do. This does create some dilemmas when it comes to describing Australian places. If I write as though everyone is from Western Australia it's bound to create some confusion. If I write as though everyone is from interstate/overseas then WA readers will be going Yeah, yeah...we know that.

So, I've decided to give those interstate and overseas readers a geography lesson. Please don't see this as patronising. I really have no idea about towns in different states.

Here's a map I created of WA places I've mentioned before on this blog. Some of them I've lived in and others I've visited. Click on the blue placemarks to read a bit about why I have marked that particular place. To see the whole map, click the view WA Geography Lesson in a larger map link.

Hopefully when I start name-dropping places again, it might make a bit more sense.

View WA Geography Lesson in a larger map

No Comment

2012-01-17T16:57:00.000+08:00

Last week I discovered that I can no longer leave comments on some Blogspot blogs. Whenever I click on the comments link, the whole page freezes so I cannot even read any existing comments. The odd thing is that it only happens on some Blogspot blogs I read regularly...but not all.

Yesterday I did quite a bit of clicking around to see exactly which blogs and posts I could comment on and which ones I couldn't. Apologies to anyone who has a stats counter and probably thought they had a cyberstalker on their hands!

I can comment on my own blog ok, but now I'm wondering if others are having the same problem? After doing a bit of Googling, I think the issue may be a bug in Blogger's new threaded comment system. Apparently there is a compatibility issue with Internet Explorer. If you use Internet Explorer (which I do), you may not be able to comment on blogs which have threaded comments.

I expect that Blogger will sort this out in time, but for now I want to suggest a temporary fix. Change from threaded comments back to pop-up or full-page comments. Just for a while. That's what is being suggested on the net anyway. I know it might be easier to suggest blog readers use a different browser, but I'm having trouble with Firefox as well at the moment for different reasons and my download is quite slow.

So...can you comment here? Leave a test comment if you like.

If not, you're welcome to email me at seddyed at hotmail dot com

Threaded comments do sound cool though...eventually.

5 Best 'Angry Chick' Songs

2012-01-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

Duncan doesn't like me listening to this kind of music (he reckons it makes me angry...hmmm). I think he's way off the mark...it's just great motivational music for exercise or cleaning. :)

Here are my top five:

1. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
2. Left Outside Alone by Anastacia
3. You're So Vain by Carly Simon
4. Predictable by Delta Goodrem
5. Don't Tell Me by Avril Lavigne

What are yours?

Friday Funny

2012-01-13T16:57:00.000+08:00

This was doing the rounds on Facebook a little while back.

Hehehehe!

The Pendulum: Suffering and Death

2012-01-11T10:18:00.003+08:00

First of all, I'd better apologise for the morbid title!

I've been doing a bit of thinking lately about what the Christian attitude towards suffering and death should be, and have arrived at the conclusion that suffering is a normal and expected part of life for those who follow Jesus (1 Peter 4:12-16). Not only is it expected, but it also has good consequences (we grow in character, perseverance and hope - Romans 5:1-5).

The problem is when some people start believing that suffering is good IN ITSELF. Suffering is good because it has good consequences, but it was never meant to be a part of this world. If suffering is so good in itself, then why will it not be a part of the new creation? I've seen this error manifest itself in people not wanting to pray for others' safety or health because they think it is better for Christians to be suffering. I remember being a part of a Bible study where someone rebuked someone else for wanting to pray for a safe plane trip for another group member. Their logic was that we shouldn't bother praying for things like that because it might be God's will for the plane to crash. I've met people who think it's wrong to pray for healing from cancer because God might be using the cancer to make that person more godly. Well, yes no doubt He is bringing good out of it, but that doesn't mean that the cancer itself is good. The attitude that it's wrong to pray for relief from suffering EVER can end up looking like a kind of masochism ("God, I'm not suffering enough - beat me!"). The Christian life is not a competition to see whose life is worse and who has suffered the most. The reality is that all Christians WILL suffer at various times and to varying degrees depending on individual circumstances. Jesus warned that if the world hated Him, it would also hate His people (John 15:18-21).

However, while I believe that suffering in itself is not good, the other end of the scale which says that if you are suffering from illness then you don't have enough faith, is equally as wrong. I do not believe in a 'name it and claim it' kind of theology that says we can have heaven on earth right now as long as we have faith. Firstly, it's about God's sovereignty - not our measure of faith. Secondly, we live in a fallen world and Christians are not immune from trials such as natural disasters and sickness. God never promised otherwise.

The other disturbing trend I've noticed among some people I know is that when a Christian dies, it is suddenly all good. Again, I think we should have mixed feelings when farewelling a loved one who belongs to the Lord. We rejoice that they trusted Jesus and have gone to be with Him, and are now free from pain. But, on the other hand, death has signalled a break in the relationship and it is good and right to grieve. Death is not good in itself. It has good consequences if you follow Jesus (you go to be with Him forever), but, like suffering, death was NOT a part of God's design for this world. Death is a consequence of sin. We rejoice that the sting of death has been removed and it is no longer permanent. But we should not be telling people that they shouldn't grieve because their late friend/family member was a Christian. That is wrong. We still grieve, but with hope.

At times I have sat more on the cusp of avoiding suffering. I have struggled to 'count it all joy' and still do. In hindsight, I can look back at difficult times and not only rejoice that God brought me through them, but also changed me in the process. But sometimes I just need to trust God, that He knows what He's doing.

Praise God that He uses suffering for our good and that the sting of death has been removed for those who love Jesus.

But bring on the day when things like suffering and death will be no more.

5 Hopes For 2012

2012-01-10T15:48:00.000+08:00

I'm not a fan of resolutions - mainly because they often get broken and it's very discouraging.

Therefore, instead of declaring what I WILL do this year, I have decided to list my HOPES. I cannot do anything in my own strength. While I have many plans, it is the Lord's purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21).

I have decided to call this year, The Year of Keep on Keeping on. My desire for this year is to finish or simply keep on with what I've already started, rather than necessarily start lots of new things (although there could be a couple of new things in the pipeline). Mostly I want to do it all for the glory of God, but also learn to use my time well.

1. Finish editing my book and start the search for a lierary agent and publisher. Editing is SLOW!
2. Finish my TAFE course. I have started my final semester and should have finished my Certificate 2 in Business by early June (God willing).
3. Do another unit in the Moore College correspondence course.
4. Raise money to support those in paid ministry, overseas missionaries, Compassion and anyone/anything else the Lord leads me to give to. Last year I felt my passion dwindling for this. With all the work being done to our house, it seemed like we were collecting more stuff than getting rid of it. I do not NEED so much STUFF. I have a garage sale planned for sometime in January or February. I'm also considering doing more beading and selling the pieces through the craft shop in town. Expect more Acts 2:46 stalls.
5. Pray and explore new things to be involved in such as visiting the elderly in the nursing home in town, or taking on the missions role in our church in partnership with Duncan. I have a great desire to share the love of Jesus with older folk who don't know Him, and lately I've also felt a growing passion for overseas mission. When our church leaders asked us all to consider putting our hands up for the vacant role, Duncan and I BOTH felt God speaking to us. We've expressed interest, but that's all at this stage. It's nice to know you're on the same page as your husband sometimes. :)

It will be very interesting to look back on this in a year's time.

What are your hopes and plans for 2012?

Quote of the Day

2012-01-09T16:46:00.006+08:00

It was one year yesterday. I miss her!

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
- Vicki Harrison

God is Good

2012-01-06T17:12:00.000+08:00

A friend on Facebook posted this a few weeks back. It's something I want to carry with me throughout the New Year. I hope it encourages you too.

God is good....
It does not mean that things in my life will always be good....but that God is good.
It does not mean that my life will be an easy one....but that God is good.
It does not mean that my prayers will always be answered in the way I would like....but that God is good.
It does not mean that tragedy may not visit me.....but that God is good.
It does not mean that there will be no suffering in this world......but that God is good.
It does not mean that there will not be times when I am so overcome with sadness at memories in my life that I must go outside and find a place to be alone and just cry for an hour....but that God is good.
It does not mean that there will not continue to be many who deny His very existence because of the pain and seeming unfairness of life around them.....but that God is good.
It does not mean that there will not be many questions for which we have no answers.....but that God is good.
In short, the circumstances of life do not always seem to be good, but God Himself is always good. Thus though there may not always be happiness, there is always hope. That must be the basis for our faith - not that God gives us a happy life.

from The Secrets of Heathersleigh Hall by Michael Phillips

Bible Verse of the Day

2012-01-05T17:18:00.000+08:00

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope in the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.
Romans 5:1-5

5 Best Posts From Other Bloggers in 2011

2012-01-04T17:20:00.001+08:00

It's time to pay credit again to some brilliant writers. There are so many fantastic bloggers out there, and so many worthy posts, it was hard to pick just five. These are the ones from 2011 that particularly stayed in my mind.

1. Unhelpful Pastoral Care - Women Bible Life
2. Miss Popularity - Moments For Mum
3. Stripping To Retrieve My Dignity - Longfur
4. The Shy Minister's Wife - No Reading at the Breakfast Table
5. The Sound of Silence - Practical Theology for Women

I think this will become an annual tradition on my blog.

Quote of the Day

2012-01-03T15:52:00.000+08:00

Sometimes God calms the storm - and sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
- Anonymous

Plodding

2011-12-30T18:03:00.039+08:00

It feels like I've just blinked and this year is nearly over. After all that has happened, how will I remember 2011?

There really is only one word that can describe this year:

Plodding.

I remember a few years back I caught up with an acquaintance and asked her how she'd been going. She shrugged and told me she and her family were just plodding along. That meant that life was neither thrilling nor depressing. It was just ordinary.

For me, 2011 has been a year of two steps forward, one step back. This has been frustrating, but it has also been a blessing. In a year of losing a loved one, illness, house renovations, and adjusting to life in another small town, I have been grateful that the end of this year has been better than the last. At least now our house has more or less been fixed and I am in reasonably good health. I lowered my expectations this year. I stopped putting pressure on myself to build relationships too quickly and was content to slowly get involved in the community. I learnt and I am still learning to say 'no'.

But other relationships have been hard. I have lost some of my passion for things like group Bible study. I am over feeling left out and having everyone in the group talk non-stop about babies and ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Although I need lots of time alone to recharge for social occasions, at times I have felt lonely...really lonely. Part of the reason I have struggled in the latter half of the year is that I work in an office all by myself and there are very few people who drop in. When I signed the contract, I assumed my boss would be working in the office with me. Later I found out that she'd always intended to keep working from home. Working alone all day probably sounds like bliss to mums with small children, but you can definitely have too much of a good thing.

One good thing about this year is that I finally feel some peace where lopsided friendships are concerned. I have dropped the ball with some people - not in a nasty, vengeful sort of way, but I feel silly initiating contact and inviting people only to hear a list of excuses or nothing at all. As a friend of mine once said, "If you email the same person a few times and they don't ever reply, you start to feel like you're talking to yourself!" I'm not really much of a phone person anyway (I prefer email or letters) and there are only a small handful of people I ring, so don't be offended if you don't hear from me via the phone (I do appreciate people ringing though, I just don't like ringing people in case I've got them at a bad time, and then I feel terrible about it). If some people decide they want to keep in touch again, I'm more than happy to reciprocate, but I'm over busting my gut trying. I think I finally have started to move on and have raised the white flag and surrendered. It's funny that I've done almost a complete turnaround since I wrote this post. I still get annoyed at people who tell me they want to visit, but I know they never will. But I no longer feel the desire to corner people and batter them over the head with my diary trying to book them in to visit. If they want to visit, they know they're more than welcome to contact us and suggest a weekend, but the ball is firmly in their court.

Despite being thrilled that my house looks like a house and not a construction zone, I feel like I am ready to move on (I know, I keep telling myself, "You just moved a year ago! Are you insane?!?"). I don't belong here, but I know that on this earth no place will truly feel like home, and I will feel like an alien and a stranger wherever we are. I'm also feeling a lot more robust (I even thought I could clean my entire house and fix up my garden in one day - craziness that resulted in me crashing into bed, having failed in this enormous and ridiculous task). Despite this readyness to leave, I want to make the most of this time. All places will have their positives and negatives. I'm getting a strong feeling from God that our time here is in preparation for something, but I don't want to be too presumptuous about what He might be doing. More on that later.

Even though parts of this year have been difficult, I think plodding can be a positive experience. Christians are told to keep running the race, but that doesn't mean life is a sprint. The race is more like a marathon; it's not about speed, it's about whether you keep going. Each time I feel like I'm falling, God picks me up and keeps me pressing on. All Christians have 'walking through the desert' times. It might feel like two steps forward, one step back, but in the end, I am still moving forward.

Although a change of year doesn't make everything peachy, I have lots to look forward to in 2012 and lots to be grateful for. See you next year!

Better Days by Pete Murray

2011-12-29T17:36:00.004+08:00

2011 has had its highs. Unfortunately it has also had its lows. While I would label this year as 'especially challenging' rather than 'bad', it's true that I've also seen better days. But it's also true that I have learnt many valuable things that I would not trade. Pete Murray captures it so perfectly.

I saw it coming.
I saw emptiness and tragedy,
And I felt like running,
So far away,
But then I knew I had to stay.
And I know when I'm older,
I'll look back and I'll still feel the pain.
I know I'll be stronger and I know I'll be fine,
For the rest of my days.

I've seen better days.
Put my face in my hands.
Get down on my knees and I pray to God,
Hope he sees me through to the end.

I noticed most things, but I didn't notice the change.
It was hot in the morning,
Then it turned so cold towards the end of the day,
And there's no condensation,
I felt like I was in space,
I needed my friends there, I just turned around,
They were gone without a trace.

Now I have just started, and I won't be done 'til the end.
There's nothing I have lost,
That was once placed upon the palm of my hands,
And all of these hard times,
Have faded 'round the bend,
Now that I'm wiser, I cannot wait,
'Til I can help my friends.

The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness

2011-12-27T18:41:00.003+08:00

I felt it would be an appropriate time to review The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness by Tim Chester since December is a busy time for Christians. As I contemplate how to be a side plate or a saucer for the glory of God, I have found this book to be extremely helpful in how to use my time well.

Do you say 'yes' to requests when you really mean to say 'no'?

If you're busy because of the following:
"I need to prove myself"
"Otherwise things get out of control"
"I like the pressure/money"

At the root of our 'slavery' lie serious misunderstandings, often reinforced by our culture. If we want to be free, then we need to counteract them with God's Word. It's important to manage our time, but more important to manage our hearts.

Tim Chester actually lists a number of comments he collected from people in his church in the UK that he thought readers may be able to relate to. These are the dilemmas I especially wrestle with:

How can I balance time between work, friends and church?
Why do Christians seem busier than non-Christians?
I always seem to take on too much.

This book is not about successful tips for time management. There is a chapter devoted to using time effectively, but the book is mostly about our hearts. It will be no use trying to implement time management strategies if we don't recognise why we're so busy in the first place. The book goes deep into why busyness is such a status in our society and how if you don't answer, "Busy," when someone asks, "How are you?" then you feel like you're a slacker.

Here are a number of things I learnt from the book:

The busyness problem is NOT temporary unless we really do something about it. I'm always tempted to think that the period of busyness will soon be over and then I can relax. But the diary then fills up like any other time. To get out of the busyness trap, we need to make deliberate choices.
The right attitude to work and leisure is NOT 'work is good and leisure is bad', nor is it 'leisure is good and work is bad.' We know many people who 'work for the weekend'. Duncan once bought a shirt and noticed later that it had a tiny label on the pocket that said 'Working for the Weekend'. He asked me to remove it. The Bible commends both hard work AND rest.
Binge resting is not the pattern which God established. Our society works 48 weeks per year and takes four weeks off. But this is not restful as the period leading up to holidays is often the most stressful (oh yes!) and annual leave is not sufficient to recover from months and months of workaholism. Besides it is only the rich and middle class who can afford luxurious overseas trips.
Work, rest...it is all about the glory of God. We work and rest for God's glory. The Sabbath was established to remember what God has done.
The Bible tells us to number our days, not manage our minutes. Busyness can destroy relationships. Some people even use the busyness excuse to avoid relationships. Don't try and squeeze all you can out of life - just do what is most important. Jesus did not do everything - He did what God gave Him to do. Faithfulness - not how much we have done. Church activities may need to be downsized or pruned to make room for genuine relationships and discipleship.

One thing that really encouraged me was seeing ALL of our work - no matter how menial it looks - as an opportunity to glorify God. It's not about squeezing more 'ministry' into our everyday lives. Often we see visiting the sick as a more 'holy' thing than working in an office. And visiting the sick IS important. But Jesus conducted His ministry in homes, during meals and on journeys. Work tasks like photocopying can be an occasion for prayer. Chester criticises the popularity of Christian retreats in Chapter 5 by arguing that it is 'bourgeois modern spirituality for middle-class people with the time and money to get away from it all' (pages 61-2). God is not found more in the quiet of the country than in your workplace. I'm not sure if I agree entirely as occasions of slipping away from the crowds like Jesus did can be very helpful.

There is one very challenging section on children. Although it is not relevant to myself and Duncan at this time in our lives, we constantly hear about the importance of 'family time' out here which usually means spending time as a family doing cute and fun things like going to the movies or eating dessert. Chester rebukes couples who use children as an excuse for not putting the kingdom first ("It wouldn't be fair on the children."). Here's what he says on page 59:
I shocked someone recently by asking them to name one occasion on which Jesus speaks positively about families. Every time Jesus talks about families He sees them as competing for our loyalty to Him and His community.
....Whatever we say about ourselves, our true values come to the surface in our aspirations for our children. Do you hope your children will be comfortable and well-paid? Or do you hope they will be be radical, risk-taking gospel workers?....What does family time actually mean? Watching the television, eating Big Macs, trips to the shopping centre? What values do these reinforce? What about making the service of others what unites us as families? What about weekly times when the whole family does something together for the good of others?

Challenging words to be keep in mind for the future!

Overall, this is a book I really recommend (other than the Bible) for every Western, busy Christian. Reading it won't suddenly make you less busy, but it might help you see more clearly why you are so busy (and don't use the excuse that you are too busy to read it...haha). I saw that I am busy because of my need for approval from others (rather than remembering that God is my master), the need to prove myself (when God is already well pleased with me because of Jesus), and because I like to be in control (rather than trusting God in life's ups and downs).

If you hurt your knee and it gets infected (your busyness gets out of control), you can cover it with a Bandaid (time management skills), but ultimately it won't get rid of the infection (time management won't change our hearts).

Jean from In All Honesty wrote a helpful series on this book and the subject of busyness here.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T17:16:00.001+08:00

We did it! Our first Christmas as hosts and I think we passed the test! While it was a wonderful day filled with great joy, I am now quite tired. Kudos to those with big families who do stacks of cooking, cleaning and washing up EVERY DAY!

A few days before Christmas, I created and submitted my entry for the Women Bible Life nativity challenge. I didn't win, but it was a lot of fun!

My old childhood toys enjoyed the opportunity to star in such an important scene.

The angel was a fairy with a dress made out of tissues.

Starring Barbie as Mary, Ken as Joseph, a fairy doll as baby Jesus...and a whole lot of computerised sheep.

Bert and Ernie got to be shepherds.

My first foray into the realm of Christmas newsletters. Hmm I hope my extended family didn't think it was TOO corny.

Then, on Christmas Eve, I got a call from one of the local supermarkets to say I'd won their randomly drawn competition. Putting my receipts in the box each week paid off! I now have a brand new microwave. :)

Present opening:

Wow! For me?

Merry Christmas!

Everybody say, "Christmas!"

My brother, Tim, and I after defeating Duncan and his brother, Clayton, 7-5 in the inaugural tennis match.

I'm a Side Plate or a Saucer

2011-12-22T18:20:00.001+08:00

About two months ago, I had an anxiety attack. Actually, I had two. The first was a milder one during a work meeting. I don't think anyone noticed, but I was struggling with controlling my breathing, my hands were shaking while I was trying to type the minutes, and I felt like just yelling, "SHUT UP!" and running out of the room. The second was a bit worse and happened two days later at church! It involved more breathlessness, shaking, clamminess and a feeling of being out of this world.

I've had them before...but not for quite some time. Sometimes they have been triggered by a stressful situation. Otherwise they come seemingly out of nowhere and I suddenly can't cope with normal, everyday tasks.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because it was my own personal experience of my previous post. I didn't choose to drop my mask. I have my pride; why on earth would I want to be seen as weak? But I found myself in a situation where I didn't have much choice. At church, people noticed and in this moment of weakness, I received some wonderful care.

I hear a lot of women say that there are different levels of friendship (close friend, casual acquaintance etc) and friends for different reasons and seasons (the friend who loves to party with you, the friend who you discuss literature with, the friend whose shoulder you cry on...). I agree that we can't be best friends with everyone. That is not my intention, and even if it was, I'm a seriously limited human being who wouldn't have enough time. My point in the previous post is that sometimes you can find yourself in situations where the friends who you may WANT to be around you cannot be there, and sometimes if you need help, you need to take a risk and ask. When I had an anxiety attack at church, none of my close friends were around. We've been at our church for less than a year, so we're still getting to know people. But, on that day, two fantastic women came to help me. One made sure I was alright. The other laid her hand on my arm and prayed for me. They didn't say, "Sorry we don't know you very well and this is really uncomfortable for us. We'll call your close friends for you." They saw a need and stepped in. Both of my relationships with these women have deepened a bit as a result. One suffers from anxiety attacks herself so I guess she can relate. Sometimes our friendships can't always be neatly compartmentalised. And when we're willing to put ourselves out there, wonderful things can happen.

I have found the latter half of 2011 to be a bit of a rough ride. After feeling like I was getting somewhere by the middle of the year, I have realised that that no matter what is happening in life, I need Jesus...more than anything...all of the time. Things started to go a bit pear-shaped when I went from doing admin work at home to working in an office in town again. I struggled in ways I never thought I would. Coupled with a very busy October full of event organisation for work (which I hate with a passion), it was all too much. I have enjoyed November and December far more as everything has gone back to a more slower pace.

This has made me realise something...I don't have a very big life 'plate'. I cope better with a smaller plate of one or two things, rather than a large plate crammed with everything imaginable. Some women are dinner plates. They thrive on busyness and having their fingers in many pies. I'm a side plate or a saucer.

For a long time I've felt ashamed of my 'side plate or saucerness'. Women are very good at being discouraging by making busyness and suffering some kind of status. What? You're finding life hard? I have 10 children and run all of the ladies/kids/hospitality ministries at church, plus I work part-time outside the home and I'm president of the P&C, soccer club, tennis club.... My life is HARDER than YOURS.

I'm a side plate or a saucer. That doesn't mean I want to be a slacker. I just want to be a side plate or a saucer for the glory of God.

The Friend Who'll Just Scream With You

2011-12-20T16:31:00.000+08:00

If you didn't know it already, I'm a big fan of Packed to the Rafters. Season 4 ended a while ago now, but there was one episode that really got me thinking. It involves the nature of friendships.

I had been watching the development of Julie's new friendship with Donna with great interest. After initially getting off to less than a good start, the two middle-aged women were starting to bond. But the turning point really came when Julie received a phone call from a rather distressed-sounding Donna, asking if she could come over early in the morning. Julie was puzzled, but went and was starting to realise that some of Donna's behaviour was quite bizarre. It was then that Donna confessed to suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I think this is true for many adult friendships. We meet many people we get on well with at surface level. But there comes a time when the friendships are put to the test. Will the friends go deeper and share more of themselves, and be willing to ask for help if needed? Or will they remain at superficial chit-chat level and revolve around fun activities?

Friendships often mirror dating relationships in many ways. On the few first dates, both parties are usually trying to impress each other. Charm is employed. Weaknesses are hidden. There is a lot of 'sussing each other out'.

But as the dates go on, one party is going to have to make a move. They are going to have to drop their mask. They are going to have to risk exposing more of themselves. Otherwise, they might have met their potential mate but have the relationship never go any further.

Donna took that risk. She knew she needed a good friend to help her, and she suspected that Julie might be that friend. She dropped her mask. After the initial shock, Julie responded by being a good friend to Donna. Her efforts to help Donna manage her OCD culminated in a hilarious scene in a park where she showed that sometimes the best way to cope is just to let out a huge scream...right there...in the park...in front of many onlookers. Julie put herself out there for her friend.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that you shouldn't expose yourself emotionally too early in a friendship in case you scare your new friend away. There is meant to be a period of shallow acquaintance-level conversation before more deeper topics are broached. Donna acknowledged this in the episode by saying, "I know we haven't been friends for very long..." When I moved here, I felt the same. I knew I had to go through the casual "How are you?...I'm ok" type conversations and that was what made me feel so weary. I was down, I'd just lost my Nan, our house was a mess, it was my second big move in 2.5 years...I didn't feel like conversations that didn't have a point. I just wanted to find someone here who I could be honest with straight away.

My prayer is that we will drop our masks and foster environments that encourage others to do the same. And I pray that I will be the kind of friend who'll just stop and scream with my friend when they're going through hard times.

Image is from: http://tvweek.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=894113&showcomments=true

Quote of the Day

2011-12-19T18:08:00.000+08:00

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C.S. Lewis

Christmas Tree...O Christmas Tree

2011-12-16T23:28:00.003+08:00

I'm very excited to show you....

Our very first Christmas tree! (Just thought I'd let Meredith know that I definitely didn't put it up in September - I waited until the 1st December hehe.)

We couldn't have a big tree in Buntine because of the size of our cottage. Then when we moved here, Duncan's workmate and his wife gave us their old tree because they were buying a new one.

So pretty! I know, I know, it's not the real meaning of Christmas, but you have to admit...it does look a bit nice. :)

Although we have big Christmas tree, the little Christmas tree I had still deserves to be on display so it has its place of honour on the mantlepiece.

Oh and we're hosting Christmas this year - our first time ever. Both families are coming to us. Just our immediate families though - my parents and my brother, and Duncan's parents and his brother. After doing pretty much nothing for Christmas last year because of the move, I have really got into the swing of it this year. I've done my very limited present shopping, the tree is up, and most of the Christmas cards (I bought some from Matthias Media) are done. I decided YES in regards to Christmas cards, but just to my extended family, family friends, those who gave us cards, and those who don't have the internet. I even wrote a very brief Christmas newsletter and now I'm planning to enter Cathy's nativity challenge. I think I might have to make all of this stuff bi-yearly though - it's a bit tiring. But after praying about it, I felt God telling me this would be a way to bless others and point them towards the real meaning of Christmas.

What are your plans for Christmas Day?

Calling All Theoblogians #11

2011-12-14T09:53:00.000+08:00

Here's a thorny issue to ponder...

Can you be a Christian and believe in evolution?

Firstly, I'd better be clear on what I mean by 'evolution'.

I don't mean the kind of evolution that says humans came from apes. I don't know anyone who claims to be a Christian and believes that. I mean natural selection kind of evolution, survival of the fittest, and so on. There are a growing number of Christians from the evangelical Anglican circles I used to mix in in Perth that don't believe in a literal six (24 hour) day creation. There is no dispute that God created or could create in six 24 hour days, but they believe the word 'day' in Genesis means 'a period of time'. They believe the earth is millions of years old, and not thousands which is the claim of Genesis. I also get a sense of 'we are educated, scientifically-minded people who have moved past that idea that the earth was created in a literal week' attitude as if they think those who believe otherwise might as well believe in fairytales. They think that believing in an old earth is no barrier to being a Christian. These opinions have been voiced by a few people, but in no way reflect everyone.

Recently I read two books on this subject:

Refuting Compromise by Jonathan Sarfati has the tagline A Biblical and Scientific Refutation of 'Progressive Creationism' (Billions of Years), As Popularized by Astronomer Hugh Ross. It is, as its name suggests, a response to another book written by Hugh Ross, who claims to be a Christian, yet believes the earth is billions of years old and has written a book about why he believes this to be the case. The hardest thing about reading a book which is essentially a review of another book is that I haven't read the original book. Therefore, I can only go on the bits of Ross' book which Sarfati quotes. I probably should go and read Ross' book, but if it's as 'sciency' as Refuting Compromise, it won't be likely. I found Refuting Compromise to be a painful read. I didn't enjoy at all, but I persevered because I wanted to see if the book contained any 'gems' of wisdom. It does, here and there, but most of it went waaay over my head, and I ended up skipping or skimreading a fair few chapters. I felt I could have said what he said in about a quarter of the size of the book, but I also suspect this book isn't really aimed at someone like me (who has a very non-science mind). Thank God for the chapter summary at the end which you'd probably understand more than reading the actual book if you have a mind like mine. I've given the book away since I doubt I'll ever pick it up again, and Duncan has said he's not interested in reading it. However, it's probably a really good book to read if you are into sciency stuff and can understand it

On the whole, I found The Essence of Darwinism by Kirsten Birkett to be a much more helpful read (I have read it before, but that was nine years ago). Not only is it short (142 pages), but it makes scientific theories much more accessible to someone like me. Basically it can be summarised in a few points:

What is known as 'Darwinism' today isn't actually Charles Darwin's theory at all. His theory has evolved over the years and there is considerable disagreement between scientists. Evolutionary theory is not a proven fact the way many schools teach it to be.
The evolutionary debate is always religious. Why can't it ever be neutral without religion being an issue? Because it involves us...people...our origins. If we have evolved by chance, then there isn't really any meaning of life, and humans are no different from the rest of the animals. Without God, humans are not special. There is no morality. We don't make sense without God. Debates about evolutionary theory are never just about the theory - they are always within a framework. Some of those who believe strongly in evolution are also staunch atheists.
Genesis is not so much about the 'how' (the mechanics of creation), but the 'why'. Genesis explains why God created us, who God is and how we should relate to Him.

While the book is mostly very helpful, I think it falls down in a few places and I found those places quite alarming. While it is true that what matters most is the 'why' and not the 'how' and that Genesis does not say EXACTLY how God created, the 'how' still matters somewhat. On page 127, Birkett says, We cannot say a priori that God made His creation work in this way or that way. It may seem bizarre, even uncomfortable, to us that God developed humans from apes. What of it? Other people find it uncomfortable that God might have created humans instantaneously with no intermediate steps. What we find uncomfortable or not is hardly the issue. We do not and cannot dictate how God has worked. But how can any Christian say that God MIGHT have created humans from apes when it is clear from Genesis that He didn't:

the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7).

There were also a number of her arguments in the Epilogue: What About Genesis? that I didn't agree with (get a copy and read for yourself).

I've never been a big fan of 'creation ministries'. I think it is one of those topics that people like to get on their soapbox about (like baptism, the Lord's Supper or end times), but can distract Christians from the clear command and importance of spreading the gospel. For this reason, I don't want to subscribe to Creation Magazine, nor do I appreciate people telling me I need to read it as if I'm a lesser caste of Christian if I don't.
But in recent times I've come to see that such ministries have a place and I certainly don't wish to discourage them. I can see that the creation account may be a stumbling block to some people coming to faith and apologetics in this area can play a vital role. But I think some Christians need to be careful in that they don't become TOO focused on this area and start arguments all the time.

Why are many people so quick to trust carbon dating, yet doubt Genesis? One 'sciency' friend of ours has said that if people believe science is true, then they are completely missing the point of science. Science is a theory, not a fact, and that theory continues to evolve. Science needs to be reinterpreted by Scripture, not the other way round.

I don't think Genesis is meant to be read in the same way as an apocalyptic book such as Daniel or Revelation which have different meanings for the word 'day' (i.e. the 1335 days in Daniel). Genesis is a narrative and, despite the opening chapter being very poetic, there is no reason to doubt that the word 'day' does not mean a literal 24 hour day. After all, it says there was evening, and there was morning, the 'x' day. Sarfati argues that the Hebrew word yom is what is used for the word day in Genesis. This means an ordinary day (sunrise to sunset). The Fourth Commandment for Sabbath rest makes no sense unless the days of the working week were the same as those of creation week.

I've also come to see that if you fiddle with Genesis, the rest of the Bible starts to cascade. If Genesis needs to be reinterpreted to fit with science, then which other parts of the Bible need to be as well? I'm wondering if the need to doubt the literal six day creation is coming from a desire to 'fit in' with non Christian friends rather any scientific 'proof'. We don't want to to look like weirdos for believing something that seems so ludicrous to the rest of the world. We want our friends to come to know Jesus so badly that we often compromise what the Bible says and water it down to make it more palatable to them. The trouble is, if people doubt that all of Genesis is true, what does that say about their claim that the Bible is inerrant?

Thoughts?

Any other books you recommend on this topic?

Techy Stuff

2011-12-13T10:11:00.001+08:00

Until a little while ago, I had this Blogger profile picture which displayed on my own blog and when I left comments on other blogs:

But then a few months ago, I did a very silly thing. I went into Picasa and wondered why there were so many copies of this photo in the album. So I deleted some of them.

Nooooo, Sarah, NOOOOOO! Bad, bad decision!

After this, I noticed when I commented on some blogs, my profile picture was replaced by this horrible looking image:

Then Blogger Help provided the answer:

http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=5356579984d80119&hl=en

In short, DON'T delete anything from your Picasa Web Albums. Even if it looks there are 50 copies of the same photo. Don't touch it.

I ended up changing my profile pic to one of my favourite photos of all time - the jumping, action shot. :)

So now this picture will display with my comments. BUT it still doesn't fix the comments I've left on other blogs in the past. They still have the ugly exclamation mark.

I thought I'd mention this in case anyone was experiencing the same problem....or was considering deleting photos from Picasa.

Oh, and something's gone wrong with my header picture. I looked at my blog on one computer and the header picture had shrunk by half. But then I looked at it on another computer and it seemed relatively normal, except maybe a bit smaller. There have been stacks of bloggers reporting this in Blogger Help, but, although Blogger says it's a 'known problem', they haven't mentioned a fix for it yet.

Could you please do me a favour?

Could you please look at my blog and tell me if the header picture looks 'normal' to you?

Thanks...

Graeme's Rags and Riches 50th

2011-12-12T09:53:00.002+08:00

We headed over to Bridgetown on the last weekend in November for Duncan's workmate Graeme's 50th birthday (Graeme did most of the work on our house). The theme was 'rags and riches' which meant you could come rich, or you could come poor, or you could come rich AND poor (there were a lot of men wearing nice shirts and ties with ragged, dirty jeans). I chose to interpret it as 'poor who became rich' (see below). It was a great night around the fire with some rocking good tunes. We chose to stay the night in our tent.

Rags in 2010. Riches in 2011. Oh yeah!

Duncan chose to come as...his boss! Cheeky!

The birthday boy and his cake

Speech time

Adam all wrapped up in a Wiggles rug

Caitlin and two of the farm kids

The farm crew

The next morning, Graeme took us on a tour of his farm, starting with the cows

Graeme's maremma which protects his goats

One of the bulls and the maremma

It was an honour to meet Frosty, Graeme's favourite bull

5 Posts With No Comments Which I Thought Might Have Got At Least One

2011-12-09T23:03:00.001+08:00

1. Becoming a Christ-Like Footy Follower
2. Lesson 9 From Sarah's School of Dating
3. Forgiveness: The Aftermath
4. Opinion Etiquette
5. The Pendulum: Wisdom and Trust

Lesson Learned in 2011

2011-12-08T16:15:00.002+08:00

Do not buy cheap underwear.

That is all.

Pre-Teens Want 'Revenge' on Bad Friends

2011-12-06T17:06:00.003+08:00

Researchers asked a group of 267 pre-teen boys and girls about how they would feel in 16 hypothetical situations, which included friends telling their secrets to other children, friends not completing their part of a group assignment and friends not reacting compassionately to personal tragedies, such as the death of a pet.

Both sexes were just as likely to want to verbally attack the friend, threaten to end the friendship, or seek revenge against the friend.

But when it came to emotions, girls were far more affected by a disappointing friend than boys, reporting they would feel more anger and sadness.

Girls were also more likely to view the friend's transgression as a sign the pal didn't care about them.

Very interesting article indeed. I remember the pre-teen years. Girls can be bitchy. In regards to girls feeling let down by their friends who don't seem to care....I feel like that now! It's definitely not just a pre-teen thing.

Read the rest of the article here:

http://aww.ninemsn.com.au/family/parenting/8378462/mean-girls-pre-teens-want-revenge-on-bad-friends

Quote of the Day

2011-12-05T16:09:00.000+08:00

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey

5 Thoughts on The Slap

2011-12-02T17:01:00.001+08:00

Well, everybody else seems to be talking about this series so I thought I should share my 5c worth (it's gonna be a bit more than 2c haha).

1. The characters are all extremely unlikable and from various conversations and blog posts, I can tell I'm not the only one to think this. Rosie was the one who probably annoyed me the most with her 'I let my child run wild' style of parenting. I was furious when Connie made up the lie that Hector raped her and didn't even apologise to Richie when he went in to bat for her and got in trouble over it....grrr. I couldn't stand Koula, especially when she complains about Australia (well, go back to Greece then) and calls Aisha 'the black one' behind her back. Harry is a bastard. His wife, Sandi...well...why on earth does she stay with him?!? I love character studies. It's a sign of a good series where you get so engrossed you feel something towards the characters.

2. But while the characters are generally horrible people, I think they reflect ourselves more than we'd like to admit. People have been commenting on how lewd and crude the characters are, but that's what happens when you see people up close and personal, and unfortunately that's how people talk these days (come and live in a country town where, with some people, every second word is a swear word). At first, it just looks like a normal bunch of people getting together for a barbecue, but The Slap takes you below the surface. I have to confess that I saw bits of myself in some of the characters. I've felt the tension between the choice of marriage/family or career. I can remember what it feels like to be a teenage girl liking an older guy. While some people were horrified at The Slap, I think it's a confronting but fairly accurate portrayal of the world we live in.

3. The acting was brilliant. William McInnes' narration was really unneccessary. At times it felt like I was a fly on the wall eavesdropping on conversations, the dialogue was that natural. The little boy who plays Hugo is outstanding for his age. They picked some absolutely brilliant child actors.

4. I think this series shows the impact that different stages of life can have on friendships - those who have kids and those who don't, and also parents who have different 'parenting strategies'. I fully expect kids to be little turds at times, but it annoys me when parents make no effort to correct their behaviour in other people's houses (read: my house). I was talking to a friend who is a mum to two young boys today and she was recalling an incident a few days ago when she invited lots of mums and kids over to her house. Two of the kids (who were siblings) started trashing her house (and I mean trashing it) - climbing up bookcases and getting bubble blowing stuff out and then throwing it on the floor so there was a slippery mess everywhere; picking up ornaments, throwing them and breaking them etc. My friend tried to gently ask the mum to get her kids to stop (since there is a rule you can't discipline someone else's child), but the mum just sat there as if nothing was happening. My friend said she was fine with it if it was just toys everywhere or something, but it took her and her mother-in-law hours to clean up the mess. In regards to The Slap, I don't blame Hugo for his behaviour since he had clearly had very few boundaries set for him in his life! The scene where Hugo spits on the old man and then Rosie blames everyone else for his behaviour disgusted me. Ok, I get that you're not supposed to have a go at parents, but seriously....even my friends who have kids themselves expect visitors to show some respect for their property and other people.

5. I think this series will be really good for Australian TV. It shows that you don't need a big budget to tell a compelling story. Yay that it has already been sold overseas.

Image is from http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2011/10/06/1226160/581292-abc1-the-slap.jpg

Leave Me Alone, I'm Lonely by P!nk

2011-12-01T16:46:00.001+08:00

I've mentioned before just how relevant I think P!nk's lyrics are - especially when it comes to marriage and relationships. This is one of those songs (please excuse the swearing though - I think the song would be better without it).

Go away.
Give me a chance to miss you.
Say goodbye,
It'll make me want to kiss you.
I love you so much,
When you're not here,
Watching all the bad shows,
Drinking all of my beer.

I don't believe Adam and Eve,
Spent every ****** day together.
If you give me some room,
There will be room enough for two.

Tonight.
Leave me alone, I'm lonely,
Alone I'm lonely.
I'm tired.
Leave me alone, I'm lonely.
Alone I'm lonely.

I don't wanna wake up with another,
But I don't always wanna wake up with you either.
No, you can't hop into my shower,
All I ask is for one ******* hour.
You taste so sweet,
But I can't eat the same thing everyday.
Cuttin' off the phone.
Leave me the **** alone.
Tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home.

Go away.
Come back.
Go away.
Come back.
Why can't I just have it both ways?
Go away.
Come back.
Go away.
Come back.
I wish you knew the difference.
Go away.
Come back.

Marriage 101: The 'Good' Wife

2011-11-29T17:49:00.001+08:00

After 3.5 years of marriage, I can say that expectations really suck!

Sometimes these are the expectations put on me by others.

Sometimes they are the ones I put on myself (maybe because of the real or perceived expectations of others).

The surprising thing I've found is that the person who has placed the least pressure on me to conform to a certain image is Duncan. Kind of surprising really since I'm HIS wife so you'd think he would have expectations. I'm sure he does (we all do), but he is very kind.

I've also come to the realisation that there are two types of wives who face untold pressure to conform:

Pastors' wives
Farmers' wives (in my case, farmhands' wives)

When you're married to a pastor or a farm worker, it seems that there is a new level of pressure to be a certain kind of wife. You're expected to be involved in your husband's work in a higher level. My married female friends have husbands in a wide variety of occupations. I have a friend whose husband is a pool salesman, but she doesn't know heaps about pools. I have several friends who are married to engineers, but they don't know stacks about engineering. Most of these women could probably state where their husband works and his role, but I doubt having a husband in that profession has made them an expert like he is, nor would they want to be. They love their husbands and want to support them, but they are just not interested in pools or engineering.

But when you're a pastor's wife or a farmer's wife, you're expected to know the intricate ins and outs of church or farm life. Whenever we go out to church, to tennis or wherever, people ask me what Duncan is doing on the farm and how much rain we've had. Normally I can give them a basic answer, but sometimes a basic answer does not suffice. They want DETAIL and I feel like shouting, "For heaven's sake, Duncan's standing over there, go and ask HIM!" I feel like I am defined by the farm and the fact that my husband works there. In the loneliness that sometimes comes with country life, I'd just like someone to take an interest in me and what I do - not just the fact that I'm a farmhand's wife. Praise God, there are some lovely ladies at church who are interested in my work and my book. That makes me want to take an interest in their lives as well.

Maybe it would be easier if Duncan was a pastor because sharing and teaching the word of God and encouraging others is something we're BOTH passionate about. I'd suck as the stereotypical pastors' wife, but at least it'd feel we're in it together and it's something I understand. The farm, on the other hand, is something I'm not passionate about and find difficult to understand. It's like calculus to me. Despite what some of our city friends seem to think (that you just stick a seed in the ground and watch it grow), farming is an intricate science and I don't get the terminology. I am there to support Duncan and that's it. I don't think I should be forced or expected to take any more of an interest in my husband's job than my friends with engineering husbands do. I see my role as 'holding the fort' - doing housework and helping make life easier for Duncan during busy seasons of shift work. The farm is NOT our family business! I was talking to one of the other wives on our farm and it was such a relief that she GETS IT. Her husband is also a farmhand, but he does not have a farming background and this is their first time on a farm. While she loves the country life and raising her kids out here, she does not take a huge interest in the farm.

I'm also realising that the word 'support' means different things to different people. To me, it means allowing Duncan to do what he loves and helping him to do that. It doesn't mean that I BECOME him or pretend to be interested in things that I'm not. Sure when you love someone, you want to take an interest in the things that make them tick, but there is a line. I've seen some women totally change their personalities when they meet a guy. Suddenly they've become revheads because their boyfriends/husbands are revheads - even though they never liked cars or bikes much before. When Duncan and I first started dating, he took up blogging because he could see how much I liked blogging. But not long afterwards, he canned his blog because he just wasn't into it. He didn't HATE blogging - he just found writing hard and it wasn't for him. That's fine, I don't love him any less because he isn't into everything that I'm into. I'd like Duncan to support my writing by letting me write books and seek out publishers, but I don't expect him to want to become a writer himself, to feel strongly about it, or want to be my agent or my editor. I just want him to let me do what I love, the same as I try to make things easier for him when he is working on the farm.

It's women that I've found the most discouraging in my 3.5 years as a farmhand's wife. Some women just don't understand that I want to pursue interests off the farm. They don't get how I don't want to kill, pluck and cook my chickens, or sit around making jam all day. They think I should be able to answer all of their questions about the farm - and some have criticised me for not being able to. I'm wondering if this is a generational thing where, in the past, farmers' wives didn't work, except on the farm, and their whole life was the farm. I went to an office management course for work earlier in the year and I met a number of young farmers' wives who seemed rather discontent about their life on the farm - having to do the office role (even though they find it hard and would rather be doing something else), dealing with a disapproving mother-in-law etc. I really felt for some of these women.

So how have I learnt to deal with this?

Remind myself that I am playing for an audience of one. God is the one I'm looking to please in my role as a wife and He is already well pleased with me because of Jesus.
Support comes in different ways. Duncan has asked me to work part-time in the past because we've needed the extra income. He doesn't want me to sit around doing nothing. He's very excited about my book even though he's not a writer or much of a reader. Likewise, I try to do little things for Duncan that encourage him - going out for a ride with him in the ute, tractor or header (depending on what he's doing) because he likes the company, getting meals at a reasonable hour, making sure he's got plenty of work clothes etc. And when I fail at these things (which is often), he tells me not to put so much pressure on myself.
Telling people, "I don't know," and suggesting they ask Duncan if they ask me a question about the farm which I can't answer. If they give me a disapproving look, that's too bad for them.
Rising above any snide criticial comments for not being a farm expert. If other ladies don't approve, again that's just too bad.

How To Rid The World Of Nagging

2011-11-28T16:32:00.000+08:00

If everyone did what they were asked the first time, nagging would not exist.

That is all.

Friday Funny

2011-11-25T17:14:00.000+08:00

Another one I found in my inbox...

1. No-one is listening until you fart.
2. Sex is like air - it's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a few mortgage payments.
5. Before criticising someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
6. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
7. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
8. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
9. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
10. Never, under any circumstances, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.

The Pendulum: Christmas Cards

2011-11-23T16:09:00.005+08:00

Ok people I need your help.

I've been wondering whether to do Christmas cards this year. You can tell I watched a lot of Gilmore Girls in 2009/10 because I've written a pros and cons list just like Rory does.

PROS

People know we're thinking of them.
People who've sent us a card don't feel we're snubbing them.
A chance to point my non-Christian relatives towards the true meaning of Christmas.

CONS

Time consuming.
Likely to be unappreciated. Seriously does anyone really care or not whether they get Christmas cards? I don't feel offended if people don't send me cards. If it's a card they've made themselves and has a personalised message in it, then I appreciate and treasure it, but if it's a cheapy with To Sarah from Bob inside then I don't really see the point, and it's off to Planet Ark to be recycled as soon as Christmas is over.
A waste of paper if they are unappreciated.

Each year some of my cousins send Christmas postcards with updated pictures of their kids. I guess this is a good thing to do if you have kids - relatives get to see how much the kids have grown etc. But we don't have kids so I'm not sure we really have anything interesting to say other than 'Merry Christmas'. In 2009 I sent this picture off to everyone - some in an actual card and some as an e-card.

I suppose I could send an updated picture of the animals now that Gypsy has joined our family. But I can't see Ebony wanting to be in the same photo as the dogs. It took a few takes to get this picture and, as you can see, both animals are trying to escape.

If I did send Christmas cards, it wouldn't be to everyone. Maybe just my small extended family, a couple of family friends and those who don't have email. There's no way I'm doing Duncan's family as well - they are as numerous as the sands on the seashore!

Are you doing Christmas cards this year?

Do you care whether you receive a card or not?

Help me make up my mind, people....

Quote of the Day

2011-11-22T16:16:00.001+08:00

When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself.
- Chinese Proverb

God, Justice, Underbelly, and The Magic Finger

2011-11-18T17:21:00.007+08:00

I mentioned in my post 5 Things I've Learnt in 10 Years of Following Christ that sometimes I really don't understand grace.

Perhaps it is because grace involves getting what you DON'T deserve. In their song, Be My Escape, Relient K wrote, "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair." That's the whole point of grace - it makes things unfair. It does not always appear just.

Don't get me wrong - I'm very glad God showed grace to me. He gave me life and salvation when I deserved judgement and death. But often I struggle with understanding grace and showing it to others.

I've always been very concerned with justice - even since I was a child. I remember screaming at my mum on countless occasions, "It's not FAIR." Usually this was in response to getting punished for something my brother did. Perhaps it's also because I, like many others, was bullied at school. When you're a kid, it hurts to see others doing terrible things to you and getting away with it. The lack of justice can be spirit-crushing.

Maybe this is why I got so excited when I heard about the book, The Magic Finger by Roald Dahl. Although I never read the book until I was an adult, I'd heard that it was about a girl who had a magic finger to get revenge on those who made her angry and I thought, Cool! Here's a caption:
The Magic Finger is something I've been able to do my whole life. I can't tell you how I do it, because I don't even know myself. But it always happens when I get cross... and suddenly a sort of flash comes out of me, a quick flash, like something electric. It jumps out and touches the person who has made me cross...
How great would it be to literally point the finger at someone and something humiliating happens to them. Excellent!

Some people I know have also wondered why I have enjoyed watching all of the Underbelly series. "It glorifies crime," they say. I actually think it does the opposite. It shows evil people briefly having their time in the sun, but in real life, they all seem to be either dead or in prison. I think that's why I'm drawn to Underbelly and other crime shows. Justice is inevitably done.

I know that God is just. What I have trouble dealing with is suspended justice. God has set a day in the future where He will call everyone to account for their thoughts, words and deeds. This is both comforting and scary, and sends me running to the cross of Christ for mercy. But knowing this doesn't always make it easy to live in the here and now where I need to leave justice in God's hands, and resist the temptation to take revenge.

Over the past 10 years (and particularly in the last four years), I have learnt a lot about trusting God when I am wronged and mistreated. It has been a hard and painful journey at times. I have had to fight the urge to take matters into my own hands. In saying this, I do not mean that it is wrong to use the earthly justice systems. It is not wrong to involve the police or go to court. But these systems are not perfect and God is the only one who executes righteous anger and true justice.

Last year I was listening to a sermon which challenged to me to think harder about what Do not take revenge actually means. It can mean not bashing the person, but also it means not doing more subtle things like trashing that person's reputation during a conversation with a friend and....here's the shocking one....not praying for the person. Massive ouch! How many times have I refused to pray for someone because my anger was burning towards them. Not lifting someone up before our Heavenly Father can actually be the ultimate form of revenge.

A few months back I was treated badly by someone and plotting revenge was at the forefront of my mind. I considered playing some pranks like ordering them a pizza and a taxi (I know, how juvenile am I) - even though I didn't have their phone number and would have to get it from the White Pages (if it was in there). I thought about how many people I could tell how evil this person was. I couldn't pray for them except to say, "Lord, please smite them for me." I was ANGRY. I wanted revenge. Even though I felt God telling me, "NO Sarah! Leave things to me," I strongly considered putting one of my plans into action.

But then, not long after the incident, I was prayed for by a Christian friend and this friend told me she felt God telling her that I would inherit His nature. This friend did not know what was going on, so when she told me that, I could not describe the peace it brought to my soul. Despite my evil thoughts of revenge, God was at work in me and He was going to make me more Christ-like.

Then a couple of weeks later I found myself praying for the person who had wronged me. I'm not saying this to make myself look good. It was hard to get the words out, but I was honest with God, and He helped me. I told Him that I was having trouble praying for this person, but He enabled me to pray for her. This person is not a Christian and I found myself praying that God would change her heart and bring her to Himself. All glory to God here because this was definitely not from myself.

When I find myself on the receiving end of hurtful behaviour, it's a constant battle to stop wishing for a magic finger. Instead I need to keep trusting in my good and just God, who knows and sees all.

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-11-17T17:40:00.000+08:00

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your rightousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it only leads to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
Psalm 37:5-9

Why? Why? Why?

2011-11-15T20:47:00.004+08:00

Why does the phone ring (after being silent all day) when....

I'm on the toilet
I'm in the shower
I've just got out of the shower (so I'm standing around wrapped in a towel and freezing)
I'm outside hanging washing
I'm outside feeding the chooks or the dogs
I've got food in my mouth

When I'm having a great day, why does someone always have to say or do something to ruin it?

Why does it always start raining when I want to leave the office to get a takeaway coffee?

Why do I bump into someone I know at the shops when:

I'm in a filthy mood and don't feel like talking to anyone
I'm in too much of a rush to talk
I'm wearing old trackies or the like
I'm buying a present for that person
I'm buying something 'personal'

I don't get it. Please explain.....

5 Best Posts From Other Bloggers in 2010

2011-11-14T16:50:00.005+08:00

Sometimes it's tempting to see the blogosphere as a competition - or, as the Urban Dictionary puts it, to be overcome with blenvy.

But I believe credit must be given where credit is due and these blogs are infinity times better than mine. Yes, I'm running a bit late. 2011 is nearly over and I'm blogging about posts from 2010. Oh well.... stay tuned in early 2012 for 2011's best posts.

This is not about giving those silly awards or tagging people. It's just highlighting some great posts that I can relate to now, or feel might be relevant to me in the future.

Drum roll, please....(in no particular order)

1. How To Be a Successful CHRISTIAN Parent or Not - No Reading at the Breakfast Table

2. There Will Always Be At Least One - Markedly

3. Not Trying To Be Missional - Women Bible Life

4. 13 Ways To Discourage a Younger Woman - In All Honesty

5. A Difficult Transition - The Key to the Door

Simply Christianity

2011-11-10T17:10:00.004+08:00

I'm all for evangelistic courses. They aren't magic, but God used one of these to bring me to Himself 10 years ago. It was Simply Christianity by John Dickson. The following year I was given the book of the same name, but I only read it for the first time last year. It was Easter and I wanted to read something that focused on the gospel.

Simply Christianity is good because it really does let the Bible speak for itself. A vast amount of the book is simply the gospel of Luke intermingled with John Dickson's commentaries on the chapters. So you're reading chunks of Scripture and then hopefully any questions you have will be answered in the subsequent chapters. For this reason, I found the book more helpful than the course, although the course has the advantage of having group discussions.

When I read the book and did the course, I was presented with Jesus. 10 years ago this shocked me when I encountered in the pages of Luke not just gentle Jesus meek and mild, but also a man who had authority over nature, over mankind, over sickness and over death. He was and is like no-one I've ever known. The book explores the repercussions of meeting this Jesus. Who is this man? If He is who He says He is, what does that mean for our lives?

The downside of this book is the same as I imagine it would be for all 'life of Jesus' type courses. Inevitably questions arise about sin. Before I became a Christian, I did not think I was a sinner. I believed that sin was murder, rape etc and because I had never committed those sins, I was not a sinner. My question was: why did Jesus have to die? For this reason, something like Introducing God would have been helpful because it goes through the Bible from creation to the fall and you get to see God's great rescue plan for the world unfold so when Jesus comes along, hopefully it makes a bit more sense. But having said that, John Dickson does a great job addressing potential FAQs in an 'Extra Information' section at the end of the book.

If you or a friend are wanting to investigate Jesus, then the Simply Christianity course and book are great places to start. Put aside any views of Him you may have got from the media or friends, and be willing to encounter the real Jesus in the pages of Luke's gospel.

Quote of the Day

2011-11-09T16:52:00.000+08:00

Grace is the most perplexing, powerful force in the universe, and, I believe, the only hope for our twisted, violent planet.
- Philip Yancey

Amazing Grace by John Newton

2011-11-08T16:28:00.003+08:00

I hadn't really heard this old hymn until I became a Christian. When I heard it all the way through I was blown away by its relevance to me. I especially love the last verse and how good the new creation will be - praising God forever. I was blind, but now I see....

Even if you've heard this 10,000 times before and it's an old favourite, read through the lyrics and be amazed again at how amazing God's grace is.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come.
Twas grace that brought us safe thus far,
And grace will lead us home.

When we've been here ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise,
Than when we first begun.

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-11-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6

5 Things I've Learnt in 10 Years of Following Christ

2011-11-04T16:36:00.006+08:00

I've been a Christian for 10 years (read my story).

Here are just some of the things I've learnt in what has been an incredible adventure:

1. God is big (well duh, you say). He is bigger that we can comprehend. He is not a genie. He is not a butler. He is not my grandfather. He is King, Creator, Lord, Judge, Lion, yet also Saviour, Father, Lamb, Counsellor, Brother and Friend. He cannot be put in a box. He can do more than we can ask or imagine. I will never understand everything about Him. He has chosen to keep some things about Himself from us. Yet He has also revealed Himself so that we can trust Him. Some days I'm content not knowing everything about God. Other days I just want to ask Him what on earth He is DOING?

2. God is all about waiting. I'm not. He has control of time. He knows and sees all from beginning to end. Everything happens in His timing. Moses was 80 before God called him to rescue the Israelites from Egypt. This makes me impatient. I get frustrated at myself to change. I get frustrated at other people to change. But things happen in God's time and not ours. He is in no rush. Sometimes in hindsight we can see why God allows things to happen. Other times we will never know this side of heaven. It's a constant choice to remember that God is good.

3. People have been angry that I have become a Christian. More so, my family have been angry that I've become a Christian, particularly my Mum. This has got nothing to do with preaching or Bible bashing - they just don't like that I believe something different to them. Jesus was right when He said that the world would hate Christians for following Him. Most people are ok with 'nominal Christianity' - ticking Christian or Catholic on the Census form, sending your kids to a Christian school, church attendance at Christmas and Easter - but not when it affects lives in any real way. The message of the cross is offensive because it pricks at human pride.

4. People will disappoint us. I look back and remember people who were pivotal in introducing me to Christ. Now they have fallen away. Some deny they ever really believed. This is terribly discouraging and heartbreaking. It's easy to think that if these 'super Christians' failed then how will I be able to keep going? But there is no such thing as a 'super Christian'. We are all susceptible to falling. We are all reliant on God for each breath. Sometimes it seems for every person who decides to follow Christ, there will be one who drops out of the race. Churches will disappoint. Fellow Christians will be apathetic. I believe that somehow we need to balance this reality with the responsibility of the church to love others. If you've been turned off Jesus because of His people's hypocrisy, please reconsider. This does not excuse really bad behaviour from Christians, but fix your eyes upon Jesus. Find out about HIM!

5. The cross is where justice and mercy meet. In the person of Jesus, God took the punishment humanity deserved for rebelling against His good rule over us. Grace is one of the most perplexing concepts ever. Somedays I think I understand it and other days I don't. But when I reflect on it, I feel the most incredible peace and joy. There will always be hardships in this life, but I have great hope because of what Jesus has done and I know where I am going.

RIP Gwendoline

2011-11-03T16:06:00.000+08:00

I found one of my chookies dead in her nest today. :(

Wedding 1 2011

2011-11-02T16:07:00.000+08:00

It wouldn't be a normal year if I didn't go to at least one wedding! ;)

On Saturday 22nd October we went to the wedding of Jeremy (who works with Duncan on the farm) and Caitlin. Unfortunately the skies opened on what was set to be a beautiful outdoor ceremony in Pinjarra just before the bride arrived. After initially taking shelter, everybody then rushed out with towels to wipe down the chairs. By the time Caitlin arrived it was cloudy but otherwise fine, and everything else went according to plan.

My new car (I wish haha)

Myself with Shayela (who lives on the farm) and baby Cara

Cam, Shayela and Cara

Having a cuddle

Adam (who works on the farm) and his girlfriend, Alicia

Six Months of Weird Diet Complete!

2011-10-31T16:31:00.001+08:00

A lifetime to go!

Back in May, I wrote about my Life with AS and the low starch diet I'd adopted to help manage the pain. The plan had always been to trial the diet for a few months to see if it made a significant difference. If not, I would have no choice but to go back to taking Celebrex (anti inflammatories).

Well, six months on, I'm pleased to report that the low starch diet has been a resounding success. Most days I'm relatively pain free. I can even indulge a little bit now and then without it causing too much of a problem (mmm Twisties!).

Throughout the journey, I've discovered that the diet wasn't the hell I was anticipating. I've learnt to be very organised as I've had to prepare meals in advance to going out. I've learnt to be considerate of others with strange diets. I've learnt patience as I've had to keep explaining my diet and the reasons for it over, and over...and OVER again to the same people (definitely still learning patience with that one).

"You're too young to have arthritis."...............It's not an old person's disease.
"I have a great recipe for a gluten free cake if you want it.".....................I'm not a coeliac. Gluten has no bearing whatsoever on my condition - it's starch. Gluten-free flour is still full of starch.

The hardest people to deal with are the ones where my explanation seems to go in one ear and out the other. I've had plenty of My Big Fat Greek Wedding moments. Those of you who have seen this movie will remember the scene where Toula brings her fiance, Ian, to meet her Greek extended family and explains to them, "Ian is a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat." There is a horrified silence and then her auntie says, "Oh that's ok. We make lamb." I've had the same thing we're I've explained to people that I can't eat pasta and five seconds later they've said, "That's ok. We'll cook lasagne." Aaaaaargh!

Then there's the 'starch police' who have taken it upon themselves to watch me hawk-like at the table. I remember enjoying a couple of chips when someone said, "You're not supposed to eat those." Argh for goodness sake, just leave me alone. I know my limits. A few chips now and then is a treat for me now. Don't spoil it.

In hindsight I can see that God did this for my good. Suffering forces me to run to Him. I'm still far off learning this as my first response has been to jump on the internet for information, rather than kneeling before my God and asking for His wisdom. Really, God has just done what I've asked Him to do when He allowed me to have arthritis. I wanted time out, to be able to say no to things....He gave me the perfect excuse. :)

Some people have remarked that I seem so positive about it all. Well, I've had my days where I've felt far from positive...but those days were mostly at the beginning. Now it's just part of life and complaining won't help. I have moments where I'm just over it all and the amount of exercise I have to do just to stop the stiffness creeping into my lower back. During a visit to the chiropractor, he told me my back had about the half the range of flexibility as a normal back so now I have to do pilates or yoga every second or third day. Duncan and I bought a cross trainer for $80 at a garage sale a few months ago and it has been great to use it and watch TV at the same time (yay I can multitask). It's also tennis season again so I'm back to playing three times a week on average. I survived a season of netball, but the amount of hot showers and stretching I needed after each game and training session was a bit much. I have to keep teling myself, exercise is a GOOD thing. I mean, at least I haven't been told I need to eat poo or something!

Six months on, low starch is now just normal life. You know, even if I was suddenly healed I'm not sure I'd go back to my starchy diet again. It has made me eat healthier and take care of myself. What's so bad about that?

Having said that...YAY FOR CHOCOLATE!

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-10-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees.
Psalm 119:71

Insight: Narcissism

2011-10-26T17:03:00.000+08:00

I can thank a regular reader of this blog for recommending that I have a look at Insight on SBS. This show is fantastic! I can't believe I've never watched it before now (although maybe our crackly SBS reception has something to do with that). Thanks Jodie!

There was an episode about narcissism and the use of social media earlier this year. Very fitting with all the posts I've done on Facebook this month. I'm enjoying watching through the three parts (as quickly as my internet will let me).

Take a look if you're interested. There are heaps of other interesting topics too.

http://www.sbs.com.au/insight/episode/index/id/366/Narcissism#watchonline

Facebook Etiquette

2011-10-24T16:06:00.002+08:00

It seems that I'm not the only one to have these frustrations. I suspect mine are more gripes than etiquette, but this is Madam Sarah's Fine College of Etiquette after all.

1. Thou shalt reply to messages
Facebook is for sharing - it says that on the homepage. People who say they are too busy to reply to messages, yet have plenty of time to update their status 8 times per day or play those silly games are LAME.

2. Thou shalt acknowledge thy commenters
I feel like a doofus commenting on people's statuses or asking them questions, only to be ignored. Occasional acknowledgement would be nice.

3. Thou shalt not stalk thy friends
I love comments and 'likes', but not from the same person on every status. That's just a bit creepy.

4. Thou shalt not update thy status too much
I know I really have no right to say this, but I think an average of one status per day is plenty. I have one friend who updates 8 times per day (yes, I counted). One day her statuses went like this:
It's a nice day. I feel like going for a drive up the coast.
In the car, driving up the coast.
I'm up the coast. It's lovely up here.
Home again from a day up the coast.
Surely I had a nice day up the coast would suffice? Yes, I know I can hide people if I want to, but I'd rather not do that. Frequent posts is what Twitter is for. Oh and make sure you comment more on other people's statuses than you write about yourself.

5. Thou shalt share important news with thy peeps before the hoards
I don't know about you, but I don't want to find out my best friend is pregnant via Facebook. That's just slack news-relaying. I wish some people would remember the days of SMS, phone and email.

6. Thou shalt not whinge incessantly about photos
I used to complain about people taking photos of me before a friend very politely told me to get over it. Now I can't see what people make such a fuss about. Yes, you look that way in real life. People see you every day. A photo captures you in a second, a freeze frame. I don't deliberately put up bad photos of my friends; I post ones in which I think they look good. If you don't like a photo, don't kick up a stink. Just untag yourself.

7. Thou shalt not log into Facebook in a foul mood
Seriously...don't! I'm speaking from experience here. It's very tempting after a hard day to go online and 'tell it to Facebook' like you would to a private diary (been there). But it's not a private diary. It's read by hundreds of people. By all means, share the yucky bits of life, be honest about your struggles, but don't log on and take offence at anything and everything other people have written.

8. Thou shalt not write anything thy wouldn't say face to face
That's something cowards (or twits) do.

9. Thou shalt not vaguebook
This is really one of my pet peeves. People writing really random things like My nose hairs shine like the hilltops on a sunny day or I have a secret or I have exciting news (and then they refuse to elaborate when asked). When I see people writing that, I just ignore them rather than satisfy their attention-seeking. If it's so secret, then they should even be mentioning it on Facebook in the first place.

10. Thou shalt use lots of smileys
The written word can be easily misunderstood. I've come to the realisation that you can never have too many smileys.

11. Thou shalt not poke, post silly chain messages or invite people to join thy games
Just annoying! Enough said.

12. Thou shalt not add people thy would avoid in the street
Don't add me if you would ignore me in real life.

When talking to your Facebook friend,
Pause before you press Send.
There's a person behind that screen,
Be polite, don't be mean.

We all have opinions to air,
Make sure you share and care.
There's nothing wrong with lots of chatter,
But show your friends that they matter.

Before you send that friend request
Consider if it would be best,
To add someone you'll never meet,
Or avoid in the street.

Enough of my gripes. What do you think is good Facebook etiquette?

Friday Funny

2011-10-21T17:29:00.002+08:00

I saw this on Facebook. Sooo true hahaha.

Source: http://lynk.ly/stories/view/748292

5 Best TV Couples

2011-10-20T17:20:00.002+08:00

My Top 5 ended up dominated by Blue Heelers and Home and Away. Here they are:

1. PJ and Maggie (Martin Sacks and Lisa McCune) in Blue Heelers
These guys were the ultimate TV couple in the late 90s and were a major reason for Blue Heelers' ratings success. They had millions of Australians (including myself) glued to the screen. Maggie's death must surely rate as one of the saddest TV deaths and I cried as she died in PJ's arms.

Image is from http://heelers.tripod.com/special/articles/mags/topguns_big.htm

2. Jack and Tess (Rupert Reid and Caroline Craig) in Blue Heelers
A lot of people doubted whether Blue Heelers would be any good after Maggie's departure, but, in my opinion, Tess did a great job in filling the void. I loved her shortlived relationship with Jack even though it seemed destined for trouble from the start (she was his boss). I was devastated when Jack was arrested and left the show.

Image is from http://blue-heelers.piczo.com/?g=27083071&cr=6

3. Luke and Lorelai (Scott Patterson and Lauren Graham) in Gilmore Girls
How many coffees did Lorelai drink at Luke's Diner before they finally got together?

Image is from http://www.celebritycouples.net/Features/FamousTelevisionCouples/LukeandLorelai.aspx

4. Aden and Belle (Todd Lasance and Jessica Tovey) in Home and Away
Belle was really the one who 'reformed' Aden and it was so sad that she died of cancer just weeks after their wedding after initially hiding her illness from him.

Image is from http://au.tv.yahoo.com/home-and-away/features/article/-/5791092/a-tribute-to-belle/

5. Angelo and Nicole (Luke Jacobz and Tessa James) on Home and Away
These two only just got together and then left the show! It was so sweet how Angelo wanted to be a dad to Nicole's baby son, George.

Image is from: http://www.virginmedia.com/tvradio/top-tv-shows/home-and-away/spoilers/home-and-away-week-25-2011.php?ssid=8

Who are your favourite TV couples?

My Ideal Wedding

2011-10-18T18:05:00.003+08:00

I loved, loved, LOVED Carbo and Retta's wedding on Packed to the Rafters last week.

For those of you who don't watch the show, Retta was getting a bit anxious and upset about organising a big fat Greek wedding to satisfy Carbo's family. I laughed out loud when she showed Carbo the colour-coded seating plan and said, "Your family are in blue. That's why it looks like we're having our reception at sea." Boy, do I know how that feels. Duncan's family may not be Greek, but they are numerous and it felt like I didn't really know a lot of people at the reception. I felt for Retta when she cried to Carbo, "Your side of the church will be full and mine will be empty." We didn't do 'sides' for our ceremony, everyone just sat wherever, but I did feel it a bit sad that about half of my already very small extended family couldn't come.

Those of who you have read my blog for a while will remember Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine. I felt like I went through a waking nightmare to get to our wedding day. Maybe that's why I rejoiced when Carbo whisked Retta away for a surprise elopement under a tree with just the celebrant and the celebrant's brother who he'd asked to be a witness. The celebrant's brother had just come from a children's party and was still dressed as a clown. Hilarious! I loved the simplicity of the wedding although maybe I would have worn something a tad nicer. The marriage is the most important thing - not the pomp and frills and the demands of friends and family that you do things THEIR way.

Part of me still wishes that Duncan had done that for me. I asked him if he liked Carbo and Retta's wedding and he said no, that he still would have wanted all the family there. Some people have said to me that I must now think all the stress was worth it. No, I don't. All I wanted was to marry Duncan. While our wedding day was full of joy, I was overwhelmed by all the people and all the stress it took to get to that point. I thought I'd like being the centre of attention, but I didn't. Now I'm just so glad I never have to do that again and I can just enjoy life with my man.

I know they're only TV characters, but bravo Carbo and Retta for doing things your way! I can't wait to watch tonight's episode and see if there's any backlash from Carbo's family.

Image is from http://www.facebook.com/pttrs

5 Favourite Children's TV Series

2011-10-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

I must have watched so much TV as a kid because it was quite hard to pick just five. Oops that probably makes my parents sound like terrible parents for letting us spend so much time in front of the box haha.

Do these bring back some memories?

1. The Wizard of Oz

2. Captain Planet and the Planeteers

3. The Famous Five (enjoy, Karen)

4. Round the Twist

5. Gumby

Which TV shows did you love when you were a kid?

I'm George......They're Annes

2011-10-13T16:51:00.002+08:00

As a child, I loved the Famous Five series by Enid Blyton. Nowadays many people see them as outdated with their 1950s mannerisms and values. But, to me, they represent an idyllic world where evil grownups can be outwitted by clever and righteous children.

I've blogged about how hard it is for me to fit into my second small town in three years. I've wondered why I keep feeling like I don't fit in. How strange that the good old Famous Five has provided the answer...

I'm like George.

I'm like George, and I'm surrounded by Annes who expect me to be Anne.

Let me explain...

I've always liked George as a character. We are alike in many ways - stubborn, obstinate, prickly with a short fuse, unconventional, happy to be on our own, we refuse to be put in a box, want adventures, and love animals. Apparently the reason why she is one of Enid Blyton's best-loved characters is that is she is real! Blyton has been criticised for creating two-dimensional characters, but she said that George is based on a girl she knew. Later on, she came clean and admitted George is based on herself!

The first Famous Five book, Five on a Treasure Island, in my opinion, is the book which clearly displays George's character. Being someone who hates people telling me to do things I don't like just because they like them, I could definitely relate to this passage:

"You'd like boarding school," said Anne. "We all go. It's fun."
"No, it isn't," said George obstinately. "It must be awful to be one of a crowd and to have other girls all laughing and yelling round you. I should hate it."
"No, you wouldn't," said Anne. "All that is great fun. It would be good for you, George, I should think."
"If you start telling me what is good for me, I shall hate you," said George, suddenly looking very fierce. "Mother and Father are always telling me that things are good for me - and they are always the things I don't like."
(page 48)

Thr trouble is I am in a place that expects me to be like Anne. People want me to 'play house'. They are always pestering me to have kids. But I am like George in that I want adventures - not scary ones involving smugglers and kidnappers, but I want to write, I want to create. I want to be 'out there', I want to own heaps of animals. I like my home, it is comfortable, but I'm not into interior decorating and homemaking the way I imagine Anne would be. I'd like to have kids one day, but I'm not desperate to. This puts me at odds with 'Annes' I meet in the country whose greatest desires seem to be marriage and motherhood. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with having those desires. I love marriage, but I'm not really domestic and I prefer to keep my home simple. I read somewhere on the internet that someone reckoned Anne would be the type of girl every woman would want for a daughter-in-law - but headstrong, obstinate, unfeminine George would be her in-laws' worst nightmare! :)

Now this post is not to praise George and put down Anne. One is not better than the other. There are George sins and there are Anne sins. I'm also NOT saying that every woman who lives in the country loves homemaking like Anne. There are many ways in which I'm NOT like George. I find many of the things that George excels at (such as climbing and rowing) either difficult or plain terrifying, and while I enjoy swimming and would like to scuba dive one day, I'm certainly no great talent in those areas. In many ways, I'm more like Anne - cowardly and timid. I even look more like Anne. While I loved watching football and playing cars growing up, I, like Anne, also liked dolls and never wished to be a boy.

But I find it irritating that there seems to be more of an 'Anne culture' in the country than in the city. I'm sick of people nagging me to have kids. I'm really not into scrapbooking or card-making and never will be. It's like they're saying, "When are you going to become like us?"

I'm George, they're Annes. Don't try and get me to conform, just let me be. I told this to Duncan recently and he agreed that I'm definitely a George.

George certainly has many faults. But she is very cool! :)

Images are from http://zezes.com and http://abriefingwithmichael.wordpress.com/category/30-rock/

The Lovebook

2011-10-11T15:44:00.001+08:00

I've blogged enough about how fed up I get with Facebook.

But over coffee with a friend, the topic turned to Facebook and I realised that I was not the only one discouraged by narcissism. My friend and I talked about how or even if we could change the Facebook culture of "Look at me....look at me." We admitted we often succumb to the temptation of gaining attention for ourselves while neglecting others.

Then the answer came from Facebook itself.

The 30 Day Facebook/Lovebook Challenge was created by a guy called Scott Stirling. Here's an extract of what he wrote on the Lovebook page:

So much of our lives, especially on Facebook, is all about us. Heard a message (twice!) by Penny Webb at Riverview that got me thinking; its time we focus on others instead of ourselves.
So starting at the beginning of next month, I will be taking the challenge of updating my Facebook status with a positive, true and encouraging comment about somebody else who I know. They'll be tagged in ...the comment, and if you agree with the encouragement, like it and/or comment on. One click at the encouragement multiplies. One click that could change someone's day, or even their life.
It'll be a different person every day, for 30 days. Here's the catch; I challenge you to do the same. One status a day that's not about your own status. One sentence a day where instead of posts that boast about ourselves, we 'love on' other people.

So, inspired by Meredith, who completed the 30 day challenge, I began to write less posts about myself and more about others. This is not to blow my own trumpet. Encouraging other people is so easy, yet so difficult at the same time. I have not done the challenge on consecutive days. In fact, I've only done 19 days so far and I started in July.

I've also realised that Satan will do anything to stop Christians encouraging others. He has got in my ear so many times, whispering to me to give up. At first I was only going to do seven days, but I felt God speaking to me to keep going and do the full 30 days. So here I am, up to Day 20. These are some of things I've been hearing from Satan that I've wrestled with along the way.

"You won't encourage that person. They hate attention. They'll get embarrassed and then hate you for drawing attention to them on Facebook."

"You hate it when people don't reply to messages, Sarah. You know some people will not care less whether you said something nice to them. You're wasting your time."

"You'll look like a tryhard suck. Save yourself the embarrassment."

"But think of all the comments and likes you could get if you wrote about yourself."

It's strange that something so small as writing an encouraging post about someone on Facebook has turned into such a spiritual battle for me. Every time Satan whispers his lies, I've had to grit my teeth, declare them to be lies, and remember what God says in His Word.

Galatians 6:9-10 is such an encouragement to me. We must not grow weary in doing good because we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. God never promised I would see this harvest. He never promised that people would feel encouraged and thank me for it. Although the temptation to seek accolades is always there, I have to remind myself that love and obedience is never a waste of time.

So when I hear that voice telling me no-one will ever be encouraged, I hear another one rebuking it.

"But what if they are? What if someone was really down and your words lifted their spirits?"

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-10-10T16:06:00.001+08:00

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:9-10

How Great Thou Art by Stuart K Hine

2011-10-07T17:27:00.003+08:00

The other day I was sitting on the verandah having a quiet time. This is an occasional occurrence for me, so please don't think I'm some sort of super Christian as far as devotions are concerned. I read the final chapters of 2 Chronicles, enjoying the company of my two dogs and my cat, when I looked out at the green paddocks and spontaneously burst into song (I think the animals were a bit alarmed).

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

When through the woods and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come with shout of acclaimation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Quote of the Day

2011-10-06T17:05:00.002+08:00

Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances.
- Katie Obenchain

Facebook 'Friends'

2011-10-04T16:46:00.003+08:00

Facebook really is the beast that has revolutionised what we call friendships. After initial scepticism over what I saw to be another time-wasting activity, I was hooked. I was meeting up with school friends and other acquaintances I hadn't seen or heard from for years. Some of these Facebook meetings led to catch ups in the real world. Other relationships continued to exist only from behind the computer monitor which was fine. If I wanted advice, I had a couple of hundred people at my fingertips. I had people to laugh with me at the funny happenings of life. I could do nothing but sing Mark Zuckerberg's praises.

I joined Facebook in July 2007. It has probably been sometime over the past two years that my rose-coloured glasses have become askew and I've seen the uglier side of Facebook usage.

A few months ago, I went to Margaret River (a beachside town in the southwest of Western Australia that is popular with yuppies) to visit a friend who lived there at the time. This friend was recovering from a bulging disc in her back so she needed to spend a lot of time lying down. This was fine by me because I'd been sick with Helicobacter Pylori and was keen for some downtime. We went to the video store and got some DVDs. One of these was The Social Network which I'd been wanting to see for months.

I was very disappointed with the movie. Besides the dark lighting and the actors' frequent mumbling, I'd been expecting it to be more of a documentary on the psychology of Facebook usage rather than the story of how Facebook came about. I've always been fascinated by psychology and would have studied it at uni, but my love for the creative arts was stronger.

As I look back on my early days as a Facebooker, I can scarcely believe how naive and foolish I was. I thought I had encountered a paradise where everyone was civil and relationships would be enhanced. I've since realised how silly I was to think I'd found a place where sin did not dwell. Relationships will always be complicated and Facebook is just another medium for this to occur.

I think many of the problems with Facebook conflict stem from different expectations and why we are actually on Facebook in the first place. When I joined, I really didn't know why I was joining; I joined because a friend invited me and I was curious. But that was also around the time when Duncan and I got engaged and I knew that I'd be leaving Perth and many friends behind. I thought I'd found the solution to my problems of wondering how I was going to stay in touch with so many people.

In a nutshell, I see Facebook not as a replacement of friendships, but an extension of them. Because I can't see people often in real life, Facebook provides a way for me to stay in their lives so I don't get a total shock when I see them next and discover they've had triplets in the meantime. For me, Facebook is about people. It's about sharing and caring. It's about telling others what's going on in my life, but also listening to what's going on in theirs. I expect people to be the same on Facebook as they are in real life. There is no 'Facebook persona' and 'real life persona'. To me, they are one and the same.

But it's become apparent that many people don't see Facebook the way I do. I'll be honest that this has been a bitter pill to swallow at times. After seeing The Social Network, my friend commented that she thinks Facebook encourages narcissism and I'm inclined to agree. For some people, Facebook may well be their stage to broadcast themselves to the world, but not so much to take an interest in the lives of others. I think this is a temptation for people, like myself, who are isolated, either because of where they live or because of their circumstances (illness, small children at home etc). Sometimes it is tempting to just rattle off things on my Facebook status because it's like shouting to the world, "I'm still here, I'm still alive." But I try to limit how much I write because if it results in silence (no comments or likes), I find it hard to bear.

Going deeper on the silence issue, I'm a person who interprets silence as a negative thing. So if I write something and nobody says anything, I often fall into the trap of interpreting silence as not caring, either not liking what I write or not liking me as a person. The very wise Meredith once said in a comment on my blog that silence doesn't necessarily mean people don't like what I write, and that if a company gets a 10% response rate to a survey, they see it as a success. But even after many long chats with myself that I shouldn't take such things personally, I remain unconvinced. It's silence from friends that has wounded me more than nasty words. I shake my head when friends remain silent on posts such as my Nan died or I've been very unwell, but will suddenly appear again when I write about something funny my chooks did. And these are people I had solid friendships with long before Facebook became a part of our lives. I've heard many people say that they think some people take Facebook too seriously and that it's only meant to be a bit of fun. That's what happens when there is a real life/Facebook divide. People think what they say online has no repercussions in real life.

In many cases I've found Facebook has made some relationships MORE complicated and difficult. I've wanted to cut ties with many people online because I just can't stand how they belittle me on Facebook. It's like shaming me in front of a crowd (where they know all your Facebook friends can see what they say and your reaction). Because of this, I've wanted to cut them off in real life as well, but I haven't in many cases because of Duncan. Some other friends have said the same; they've wanted to unfriend people online but haven't because it would make their real life relationships awkward (particularly if that person is family). If I unfriend someone who is a mutual friend of ours, it also makes things awkward for Duncan. I can understand why some people take unfriending personally, even if the person who is unfriending them is simply having a massive 'friend cleanout'. It kind of is a rejection in a way because why were you shafted when others were allowed to stay? I probably think this way because when I unfriend it's because of something that person did, not because I just wanted to keep in touch with a smaller group of people.

Sometimes I think Facebook is like a mirror which shows us what ourselves and others are REALLY like. Instead of solving our friendship dilemmas of distance and busyness, it has made our relationships more complicated and stressful. For example, what do you do about people who say they use Facebook to stay in touch, but never reply to messages? I've heard people say they haven't been on Facebook for ages, yet my newsfeed says differently. I wonder where some people's priorities lie when they seem to have plenty of time for games yet are too busy for their friends. Sadly I've deliberately let what used to be good friendships fall by the wayside because Facebook has revealed to me more about those people than years of knowing them in person did. I thought online was meant to be fake. It isn't.

Of course, many of the problems that arise stem from the fact that Facebook labels everyone as your 'friend', when that's far from the truth. Lately they seem to be introducing more and more filters and categories so you can determine who sees what, even among your friends. I used to be against such things, but I now see them as a necessity when you know from experience that some twits will hold things against you.

I'm still a Facebook user, but less of a fan. I've considered deactivating my profile too many times to count, and I've wondered which is better for my health - to have some form of contact and put up with a few knobs, or have complete silence? Ultimately silence doesn't appeal to me because it feels like I'm in a dark room, shouting to people who you know are in there, but I can't see or hear them because they prefer to just lurk while I feel more and more alone. I use it because otherwise I'd go mental living out here without some form of contact, and because, if I didn't, I'd fall of some people's radars completely. Ultimately Facebook is just another medium where sin can grow rampant in the forms of overt narcissism, lack of care and consideration for others, lopsided friendships and even exclusion. Sure, Facebook can be a lot of fun, but at times we need to take it seriously because we need to take sin seriously. On Facebook you have the awkward experience of asking others to be your friend - a deliberate action - whereas real life friendships are more naturally formed. I don't go around asking people to be my friend in real life - that sounds like I'm asking them on a date. This probably explains why I wait to be added rather than taking the initiative.

Please share your thoughts and experiences with Facebook.

Quote of the Day

2011-10-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, but you know they are there.
- Hulali Luta

How To Deal With Difficult People Without Getting Upset

2011-09-29T17:10:00.002+08:00

This is a CD by Rachel Green, an award-winning communication specialist and emotional intelligence coach. With a title like that, it's no wonder it grabbed my attention at the local library earlier this year.

I met Rachel in 2007 when she came to Curtin to help the library staff revamp our lesson plans and sharpen our teaching skills. If you ever want to be torn down in a nice way and then built up again, Rachel is the woman to do it. She is an incredibly dynamic presenter, humorous, frank and very warm and genuine.

How To Deal With Difficult People Without Getting Upset was recorded at a seminar Rachel did with a group of school administration staff. It is incredibly helpful for those (like me) who are the first port of call for customers and clients and deal with difficult people outside your workplace on a regular basis. Even if you don't work in customer service, it is very helpful stuff as many of us are prone to taking others' aggressive behaviour personally.

My question before listening to this CD was how are you NOT meant to take someone abusing you personally? How are you not meant to take snide put-downs personally? Even if you know that person is in a bad mood about something else, it is hard not to come away from conflict situations feeling like crap.

Here are some of the things I learnt from that CD:

Some remarks may have been intended to be personal, but we have a choice how we take them. If someone says something like, "The trouble with you is you're too sensitive," we often react by being the very thing they accused us of. Instead of letting that person push your buttons, you could respond by saying something like, "Yes, I am sensitive, and that's what makes me good at my job."

Here are some other examples of not taking things personally:

"What are you, some kind of career woman?"
"Yes and loving it."
"Thanks for the recognition."
"Yes, your job is next."

"I have to tiptoe carefully around you."
"Thanks, I feel so safe when you're around."
"Thank you for noticing and caring."

"Well, you're only the admin officer."
"Yes, I'm the one who makes things run smoothly."
"I run the school. Don't tell the principal, he thinks he does."
"Thank you for noticing."
"Yes, but I'm all you've got for the moment."
"No, I'm the boss."
"Yes, and I can help you."
"Yes, and I pay your salary."
"I'm glad I was available otherwise you'd be talking to the desk."

These responses were brainstormed by the attendees at the session. The trick is to respond in a polite and friendly manner - not by trading insult for insult. Some of the responses are sarcastic, but they can be communicated with a warm tone.

Rachel explores the reasons why we get hurt by some of these statements. It has to do with our personal history, lack of confidence, stress, feeling inadequate, misunderstanding or guilt. Often someone will make a statement and we take it a certain way because of a similar incident in the past. We often automatically believe other people's negative opinions of us. We forget the 99 positive comments and hang onto the one negative one (definitely an issue for me). We need to respond to what's happening right now, not to what happened in our history, and ask ourselves why we are reacting this way.

One thing she did touch on a fair bit was the communication issue between men and women using a scenario where a woman buys a new dress and asks her partner what he thinks of it. He responds with, "It's ok." So many women would have been hurt by that statement because they want their partner to tell them they look amazing. It's ok tends to be interpreted by many women as not good enough. Instead of responding negatively and causing an argument, these were other possible responses that were provided by the participants:

"I'm glad you didn't think I went overboard. I thought $850 was more than enough for a one-off event."
"I thought you'd like it. Thank you."
"I love it and I think the colour really suits me."
"Good because it cost you a lot of money."

Apparently when a man says, "It's ok," he means it as a compliment. And if you think you look gorgeous anyway, why do you need anyone else to tell you? Sometimes what sound like put-downs to women, are actually meant as compliments between men (is that true blokes?). Women may need to clarify if it was meant as a put-down or a compliment as apparently some men like to insult women when they really like and respect them. If someone calls you 'bossy', ask, "Bossy? In what way?" (in a warm and friendly, not an accusing tone). For some people, 'stubborn' is a compliment because it means they're determined and successful. To others, it means bossy, selfish and arrogant. If it really is an insult, respond calmly with something like, "I hadn't realised that. Thanks for pointing it out." Thanking an angry person often diffuses their anger. If it doesn't work, clearly state your boundaries such as, "I'm not able to listen to you when you use language like that."

We need to watch for 'emotional hooks' where we can allow ourselves to be hurt. Don't depend on another person's reaction for your sense of worth. Do your best to help a customer within the organisation's policy, but don't judge your own success on someone else's happiness. There is a difference between listening to valid feedback and relying on others' approval.

If someone makes a nasty remark, slow down your reaction to give yourself thinking time to formulate a nice response. Ask them, "Could you please repeat that for me?" Most people will not repeat what they have just said. Delay your reaction by having a fill-in or set statement to say i.e. "That's an interesting comment," (which generally means that it's not), or, "That's certainly one opinion." Here are some other possible responses:

"I'm sorry you're not happy. Is there anything more I can do to help?"
"I'm sure your opinion is important to you."
"I'm a little hard of hearing. Could you please say that again."
"May God bless you."
"Really?"
Tell yourself, "This is going to wash over me like water off a duck's back."

Charm the aggressive person's socks off and don't give them the privilege of getting to you.

What I really liked about this CD is that it doesn't deny that some comments ARE meant to be hurtful...but not all are. Too many people will tell you that you're imagining it. That's not always the case. People ARE mean.

It also differentiates between feelings and reactions. We cannot always stop feeling angry or hurt, but we can take a moment to choose how we respond. As a Christian, I want to respond in a godly way and not fight fire with fire (even though it is oh so tempting and I have done it plenty of times in the past). Do not sin in your anger.

There is so much more that this CD covered which I haven't mentioned, but do listen to it if you're someone (like me) who struggles in this area. And if you ever get a chance to go to one of Rachel's seminars, do it :)
Image is from http://www.rachelgreen.com/tape_personally.html

5 Most Improved Eagles in 2011

2011-09-28T20:09:00.001+08:00

I think the Eagles' meteoric rise from 16th last year to 4th this year can be attributed to the improvement of the younger and middle range players.

1. Luke Shuey
He went from an injury-riddled unknown who had only played a handful of games to being unlucky not to win the NAB Rising Star Award. At the West Coast v Western Bulldogs game I went to, Shuey was an absolute star and kicked five goals from the midfield. Watch this guy!

2. Mark Nicoski
His move into the forward line really breathed life into his career, and he had, in my opinion, his best ever season. I used to have my heart in my mouth a few years ago watching him try to dodge and weave his way out of defence, but in the forward line he's just plain exciting. I thought the Eagles would really struggle with Le Cras moving to the midfield, but Nicoski filled the gap.

3. Matt Rosa
Another one who was having his best season before injury struck just before the finals.

4. Will Schofield
Improving as a tall, mobile defender and I think being thrown into the deep end last year when Glass was out injured did him the world of good.

5. Brad Ebert
This guy is much maligned and incurs Duncan's wrath for his often poor disposal, but when he moved forward, he was much more effective. A good mark for his size, he seemed to catch a lot of opposition unaware and formed an effective small forward team with Nicoski.

All images are from http://www.footytragic.com

I'm Offended....No Offence

2011-09-26T16:09:00.003+08:00

I'm a sensitive person. There, I've admitted it.

But I've come to realise in recent years (along the journey of being a blogger and a Facebooker), that it is ridiculous to take some things personally. There is a world of difference between a personal insult which you're 100% sure was directed at you, and someone voicing their opinion on a topic online or in a group situation. I've discovered that I can waste a lot of time being angry about things that were never directed at me in the first place. To be honest, I'm not sure why I've felt offended at someone merely having a different opinion to myself, or randomly blogging about something that I happened to be going through at that exact moment.

So why do people do it when they know it's not about them?

A guilty conscience? Someone writes or speaks about something that they know deep down they shouldn't be doing. They know it's a general statement, but they still lash out, using phrases such as, "You shouldn't judge. You're guilty of..."
They're already in a bad mood before they read or hear what's been said? Maybe some people log into Facebook to take out their daily frustrations on their fellow users. Honestly the reactions I've read to some statuses (including my own) has been mind-boggling. I felt like saying, "Dude, I don't know what you're talking about and why you're so angry, but it's got NOTHING to do with that person's status."

I'll use a few real life examples.

A few months back I read the post File Under: Confessions by Daja from In Other Words. She was recalling an incident on Facebook where she wrote something along the lines of, I just love homeschooling, on her status only to incur the wrath of public teacher acquaintances. It's not like she was criticising public schools by declaring that she loves homeschooling. Being for something doesn't necessarily mean you're against something else. Here is part of the response I wrote to Daja:

I have some Facebook friends who have very strong opinions on all sorts of things from child-rearing to politics. They often put their opinions on their status not very eloquently, but I don't take offence because (a) it's not a personal attack...it's not like they're writing 'Sarah is an idiot', and (b) Facebook is their place to air their opinions and I know they don't intend to hurt anyone...it's just what they believe.

I've since realised that some people actually WANT and CHOOSE to be offended so they have an excuse to have a go at you. Others are already in a bad mood about something else when they log in and are just itching for a fight (sometimes they don't REALLY disagree, they just want an argument or to make you look silly).

What do you think? Am I right? Is being offended sometimes a choice?

I really am a bit confused and alarmed at where society is heading with the whole being offended thing. We should definitely watch our words and Take 5 before we speak to others. But I think there is a world of difference between personal conversations and expressing your point of view on Facebook or a blog. I would hate to think that everyone will soon become too scared to say or write anything for fear of backlash. I thought we were a country that valued freedom of speech? Sure, you may think someone is a knob because of what they say online, but at least online you have the right not to listen. That's the great thing about blogs and Facebook - you can tune out if you want to. This is especially true for blogs where generally the blogger has little clue exactly who is reading, so how can you take a post on the evils of jaywalking personally? If what they write offends you so much, why do you keep reading? On Facebook, it is a little more personal because once you set your profile to private, you know exactly who your audience is. But still, like I said to Daja, I know people with very strong opinions (like I do on some things) and they should be able to have a platform to say what they want, just as I would like to. If I find myself getting annoyed at something someone has written, I've got to tell myself to calm down and ask why this has stirred me up when it's more than likely I didn't even enter their thoughts when they wrote that status or post. If they wrote something mean and tagged me in their status, fair enough. There is a page on Facebook called No My Status Wasn't Aimed At You - But If The Shoe Fits Feel Free To Wear It.

I would hate to think that we need to put disclaimers on all of our posts just in case someone somewhere may be offended. Bek from Longfur made a good point in the disclaimer she put on her post Give it a Rest. She wrote There is no one individual in particular that this is aimed at. If there are any similarities to stories, that is purely coincidental. However, if you identify yourself in one of the comments/stories...maybe it's something to think about?

Yes, why do people identify themselves in posts that have nothing to do with them? And why do the ones that some posts have really been aimed at think you don't mean them?

While we are on the topic of offence, can someone please explain this to me?

Why do people say something that is UNMISTAKABLY rude and then hastily add, "No offence," after it?

Ok so misunderstandings happen where no offence was intended but the comment was taken as offensive. But how can someone possibly mean 'no offence' by saying, "You're fat....no offence."?

The Urban Dictionary puts the definition of 'no offence' very bluntly:

An excuse to insult someone. Anyone who uses this word is a tool.

I don't get it. Please explain...

Friday Funny

2011-09-23T17:00:00.002+08:00

Hahaha I love it! A friend 'liked' the website http://www.geeksaresexy.net/ on Facebook and I clicked through and found this pic.

Pic is from http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2011/05/10/the-hard-knock-life-of-an-internet-troll-pic/

Spring Cleaning at the Sedshed

2011-09-22T14:53:00.001+08:00

Spring is here. Time for a cleanout.

Last year I did some blog cleaning and have made it my mission to do it regularly. The blog clean involves:

Removing links to blogs that have been abandoned or deleted. If they have just been abandoned, I will keep them in Google Reader in case the blogger decides to revive their blog later.
Removing links to websites that are no longer current or no longer interest me.
Adding new blogs I read to my blogroll.

I've also added a new widget called Popular Posts which I first saw at No Reading at the Breakfast Table. If you're viewing this post via a reader, click through the see the list of popular posts (according to the number of hits) down the right side of my blog.

Some of you may also have noticed that I've turned the comment moderator back on. I did it last year, but then felt it would be ok to turn it off. Well, after a few problems with spam and anonymous comments, I've decided it will now stay on permanently. To be honest, I'm not really a fan of moderating - it kind of feels like when I was at school and the whole class would be punished because one naughty kid wouldn't own up. I like to give non-bloggers the option to comment so that's why I chose moderating.

I feel that I've given my opinion on anonymous commenting enough times, particularly in Blog Policy? and Blogging Etiquette so I don't really need to go into it again in great detail. Just to be clear, I'm referring to comments of an argumentative or aggressive nature where the writer chooses to cowardly hide behind their anonymity. The post So...Why Can't You Tell Me Who You Are? at Backyard Missionary says it far better than I ever could, and the comment, I am only really concerned about anon comments where I don’t know who it is and they are being a knob pretty much sums it up. Trying to respond to an anonymous commenter is like having a conversation in the dark. Knowing who they are and where they're coming from with their statements makes all the difference to how you respond. Blogging is a bit like coming over to someone else's house. As a blogger, I wish to welcome lots of different people who choose to come and read what I have to say. But when you come you are on someone else's turf and under their rules.

Fellow bloggers, can I ask a few favours of you?

If you read this blog regularly and have a blogroll, could you please add my blog to it?

Could you please click the following widget on my blog so I have some idea of who my readers are?

Thanks!

If you want to get into spring cleaning, blogs are a great place to start.

Small Groups: What Shall We Study?

2011-09-20T16:15:00.003+08:00

One of the most common dilemmas new Bible study groups face is what material to study....

Bible or Christian book or DVD series?

If the Bible is chosen, then should it be a book of the Bible or a topical study?

Should we use existing study guides or encourage the leaders to write their own?

Which book is relevant to the group members? One might be relevant for some, but may disinterest others.

I'm not convinced there are any real rights and wrongs here. These are just some of the my personal thoughts and preferences.

One thing I do think is that the Bible should be studied. Why are some groups called Bible study groups when they don't study the Bible? When we joined our current group, Duncan and I were a bit dismayed that all they did was watch DVDs of sermons. We'd watch the sermon, but there would be no discussion afterwards over what we'd been learning. Everyone would talk about farming and shooting and then go home. I found it quite discouraging, and Duncan and I have been trying to gently suggest that we do Bible study of some kind. It helps to have questions which enable people to engage with the text rather than just passively watching. Now we're looking at The Truth Project which comes with some very thought-provoking questions, leading to more meaningful discussion and fellowship.

Christian books can be very helpful in understanding the Bible...but they're not the Bible. Books offer the author's point of view, but God's Word is powerful and cuts straight to the heart. Yes, we come to the Word with our own biases, but God is mighty to change us despite our cherished views. It may be helpful to study a book that is on the same topic as what you're studying in the Bible, but I think this should be done concurrently and not instead of the Scriptures.

Personally I think it doesn't matter whether you study the Bible systematically or topically - what matters is whether the study is done well. The temptation of topical studies is to exclude some verses of the Bible to make it say what you want it to say. Take some time browsing a Christian bookstore or the internet to select a well thought out study with questions that really make you grapple with the passage. When I was at uni, I was encouraged by the Christian Union to have a go at writing my own studies. This was a great experience and is a valuable skill to have, but I don't think this should be enforced within a group. People are already under the pump with their weekly schedules and don't need more guilt piled on top of them.

Relevance is more of an issue if the group is only studying books. God's Word, however, is relevant to all, no matter what you're studying. If you're selecting a book to read within the group, try to pick something more general. I find it discouraging in women's groups when some group members want to study books on marriage or motherhood at the expense of the single women in the group.

If you're leading a Bible study or thinking about it, then I highly recommend you read Leading Better Bible Studies by Karen Morris and Rod Morris.

The authors are adamant in their view that groups should be studying the Bible and they focus a lot on different learning styles for adults. It goes beyond the mechanics of running a group and explores the purpose for Bible study groups - so that people may love and trust Jesus more.

That is why I posted yesterday's verse. Although the context is food sacrificed to idols, the principle is the same for our groups. We don't want to study the Bible for head knowledge so we can lord it over those who know less. It's not just about knowing the Bible, it's about living it. And as we learn more from God's Word, we should be growing in our love for God and each other.

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-09-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

....Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.
1 Corinthians 8:1

5 Favourite Sports Movies

2011-09-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

I can't say I'm a fan of horse racing, soccer or ice hockey, so I know it's a great movie when I get swept up into the plot regardless. Here are my top 5 sports movies.

1. National Velvet

2. Bend It Like Beckham

3. D1: The Mighty Ducks

4. Teen Wolf

5. Bring It On

Name your 5 favourite sports movies.

Convicted

2011-09-14T09:22:00.000+08:00

Last week, Duncan and I went to his boss's house for Bible study. While we were waiting for the other group members to arrive, we sat down with Duncan's boss and his wife who were watching At Home With Julia.

For the benefit of international readers and those who have not heard of the show (though it's hard not to if you live in Australia), At Home With Julia is a spoof of the life of current Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, and her partner, Tim Mathieson. The show also features a number of well known Australian political figures.

I thoroughly enjoyed the five minutes I did get to watch. While Julia Gillard's mannerisms are exaggerated, it was still quite funny. Not laugh out loud funny, but amusing all the same. I made plans to watch the next episode.

But when Bible study finished that night, I felt somewhat differently. Our Bible study group has been using a series called The Truth Project which explores foundational Christian beliefs, but in a really unique way. Last week we looked at God's relation to governments - that while they have the potential to do much evil, they have been instituted as God's representatives and we are to honour them. The presenter quoted Romans 13:1-7 and it was then I felt convicted that I shouldn't watch At Home With Julia anymore. When Duncan and I got home that night, I told him that I felt convicted and challenged based on what we had been learning, and he said, "Yeah I was thinking the same."

You see, that while Julia Gillard may have some amusing quirks and she is not the leader that I voted for, I still need to honour her. She makes many decisions that I don't agree with, but she has been placed in her role by God. She may find the show about herself to be absolutely hilarious, I don't know, but I think for me to watch it would be disrespectful. We Aussies live in a culture that loves to poke fun at anyone important. We kind of expect it, but that doesn't always make it right. If I was an important leader, I'm not sure I would want a show like that made about me. The ladies at tennis were talking about it yesterday and one said she was surprised the ABC even let it go to air.

I think Aussies can learn a lot from our overseas friends. When I lived in Perth I met many international students who were shocked that we mock our leaders and refer to them by their first names. I think we can still have a sense of humour, but learn from our overseas friends about showing respect - NOT like those countries who have a big picture of their dictator in the middle of the city or make it a crime to criticise the government at all. Despite what we may think, Julia Gillard is not on the same level as us. She is our leader whether we like it or not.

But the whole point is not about honouring Julia Gillard - it's about honouring God.

Some people may be able to watch this show in good conscience. I cannot.

Picture is from http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2011/07/18/1226096/912405-at-home-with-julia.jpg

From Head to Hand: The X Factor

2011-09-12T16:27:00.000+08:00

I've known I want to be a writer since I was seven years old. I studied Creative Writing as my major for my Bachelor of Arts. I've written my first novel and I'm about to start yet another edit.

But a nagging fear remains...

What if I don't have what it takes? What if I'm deluding myself by thinking I can write? What if I'm just regurgitating stuff every other author has written? What if a publishing company says to me what Marty McFly feared a record company would say to him in Back to the Future - "I mean, what if they say I'm no good? What if they say, "Get out of here, kid. You got no future."?

Duncan and I have been watching The X Factor a bit lately. When a contestant with a truly awful voice takes the stage, Duncan often comments, "Do they seriously think they're any good? Don't they have anyone in their lives who can tell them the truth?"

I think I might be as deluded as some of The X Factor contestants because, despite some uncertainties, I don't have a great fear of rejection (probably because I haven't experienced it on a large scale yet). I feel very strongly that God wants me to succeed as a writer. I have a great passion for reaching those who don't know Christ through fiction. Sometimes I'm more scared of my own determination than anything else. Everyone keeps saying how hard it is to break into the industry. I must be a fruitloop for thinking I can make it. I've asked four people to look over my manuscript and give me their honest reflections. So far, all of the feedback I've received has been very helpful. I was especially chuffed that a bloke in my target age range (20-50) really likes it; he has just mostly been helping with sentence structure etc, but he loves the plot. My editors are truthful people; they wouldn't say that they like it just to please me. They are honest, but tactfully so.

Yet, despite some people thinking I will make it, I'm trying to dose myself up on reality. Apparently JK Rowling was rejected by one publisher because they thought the Harry Potter storyline would be too difficult for children to understand. Sarah O'Hare (now Murdoch) was apparently turned away by a modelling agency because she had short hair. Yep, I bet those agencies are now kicking themselves!

Those examples give me hope because they show that one rejection (or even a few) doesn't mean the end of the road. The 'experts' can be wrong. My question is: how wrong can they be? They ARE the 'experts' after all - they must have some idea of what constitutes talent. How many rejections should you experience before you give up?

I really have no idea what I'd do if my book gets rejected by publisher after publisher. I guess I'd keep trying because I've worked my butt off on this book and I'm not going to lie down without a fight. But rejection can be demoralising. I'm trying to prepare myself as best as I can in my head.

Maybe I should take my own advice and advice others have given me:

Don't stress about originality - your work is still unique.
Invite others to critique your work.
Edit, edit, edit. It's painstaking, but worth it. Don't be satisfied until it's the best it can be.
Take a writing course like I did at uni. Even if you don't want to do a full degree, it might be worth doing a few units.
Explore self-publishing options. I don't want to go there with my book, but it might be worth considering.

If you really, honestly think you've got what it takes to be a writer - don't quit! I read somewhere about an old guy who sat his bar exam to be a lawyer quite a few times before he passed. Be realistic, but never say never.

The Heart of the Artist

2011-09-08T18:15:00.000+08:00

Being an 'arty Christian' can be hard sometimes. When people refer to 'those artsy fartsy types' it often has negative connotations.

But take heart arty types. This is the book for you.

The Heart of the Artist by Rory Noland explores what it means to be a Christian who is gifted in the arts and keen to serve God in that area. He encourages Christian artists to accept and nurture the talent God gave them and the unique place they have in the body of Christ.

Some of the issues he explores are:

Servanthood vs Stardom - people gifted in the arts are often worshipped by society and this can prove to be a temptation for Christians who are artistically gifted.
Spiritual Disciplines
Character - It's not just about having talent.
Handling Criticism
Jealousy and Envy - don't wish for another artists' gift.
Managing Your Emotions - many artists are more in touch with their emotions and while this can be good in loving others, letting go of your emotions is not good either.
The Artist and Sin

One thing he emphasises is that there are plenty of opportunities for artists to serve INSIDE the church. Too often artists think the only opportunity to serve God is in the Christian music industry or by selling your paintings etc. I can see his point, although he is from Willow Creek Community Church - a mega church in the US with stacks of opportunities for arts ministries within the church. I've only ever been a part of smaller churches where there isn't the manpower or desire to have arts ministries besides music. My old church in Perth meets in a lecture theatre at a university and there's a great big lecturn slap bang in the middle of the space down the front which is not very practical if you want to do drama. I guess I could start new ministries, but in a small church you don't want to add MORE things to people's already crowded weekly schedules. This has proved to be one of my dilemmas since becoming a Christian - do I just serve in a small church in the ways that are needed (and do arty things outside), or do I go to a bigger church with more opportunities to serve in the arts? I much prefer smaller churches rather than being lost in a crowd, and since we're in the country, a large church is no longer really an option.

Overall, if you're gifted or keen on writing, acting, painting, drawing, music, dance or other arty disciplines, then read this book! If you've ever felt like a freak or been told to 'toughen up' for having a caring, sensitive nature, then read this book!

As Noland says in the book, God is interested in your art AND your heart.

Quote of the Day

2011-09-07T16:32:00.001+08:00

Everyone with an artistic temperament has been told at some point in his or her life to develop a thicker skin. That’s nonsense! The world doesn’t need more thick-skinned people. It needs more people who are sensitive and tender. Have you ever been moved to tears by a powerful piece of music or held spellbound by a beautiful work of art? Have you ever been moved by a scene from a film? It’s because an artist felt deeply about something and communicated in such a powerful way that your heart and soul were touched.

– Rory Noland in his book, The Heart of the Artist.

Do You See What I See?

2011-09-05T16:16:00.001+08:00

I’m sorry if this is a lot of undiluted rambling and doesn’t make much sense.

Perception is a funny thing. We want so much to be seen a certain way yet the way other people perceive us is often nothing quite like we thought.

I’ve begun to realise there is very little I can do change people’s perceptions of me….besides write a blog post about it. It doesn’t matter how much you try and create an ‘image’. You can try and be yourself, but the reality is that you are many different ‘selves’ depending on who you’re with. I’m always interested and amused to hear other people’s perceptions of themselves:
They say, “I’m a laidback person.” I think they come across as very stressed.
They say, “I’m a bubbly, friendly person. I think not to me.
They say, “I’m not very good at anything.” I think they’re amazingly talented.
They say, “I’m sorry for being self-absorbed and not ringing you lately.” I think they’ve always been a fantastically caring friend.

If I’d gone on first impressions alone, I would never have made some of the fabulous friends I have. I’ve misinterpreted shyness as aloofness or snobbery. I’ve been thought a snob by others. While we should all make an effort to create a good impression with strangers, sometimes we can be misinterpreted. Although there are times when I’ve gotten a definite ‘bad vibe’ from someone and if they haven’t warmed to me in subsequent meetings (but are nice to others), I assume they’ve got a problem with me other than simply having a ‘bad day’.

Personally I think it’s good to keep first impressions to yourself. While sometimes it’s amusing hearing people share their first impressions of you, it can also be hurtful. I don’t want to hear that they thought I was an ugly nerd, the same as I don’t tend to share my first impressions of others (particularly if they were negative). At a job interview a few years ago, the boss asked me what I did with the rest of my time (since I was going for a part-time position). When I explained that I was a writer, she asked what my book was about and looked shocked when I answered “Football.” She said, “Oh, I thought you’d write romance novels or children’s books.” Huh?!? Why would someone think that? I look like someone who would write Mills and Boon?

The football and writing thing has actually come up a few times. People I’d only just met have exclaimed that I don’t look like someone who would follow football let alone write about it. Someone said that I don’t actually look like a writer at all. I’m wondering if they thought I was really boring and was surprised to hear I had personality and an imagination.

Someone else told me they thought I looked 'well travelled', and they assumed I'd travelled a lot overseas (not sure how anyone could assume this based on my appearance, but anyway...). They were surprised to learn that I've never been overseas and didn't even go interstate until I was 23. There are babies that have travelled more than me!

Maybe it’s due to being The New Kid on the Block, but it’s come to my attention that many people think I’m a shy, quiet mouse who will lie down and willingly be walked over. That I’ll pick up their slack when they’re disorganised. That I’ll rearrange my plans for them at great inconvenience to myself. That I’ll just sit there and listen to their unwanted opinions about myself. I’ve been horrified at some of things mere strangers or acquaintances have said to me. Things like, “Sarah, you don’t look good in that,”…stuff I would never say to someone I barely know, and would only say to a friend if they really wanted an honest opinion on something. I am definitely more shy in situations where I don’t know people, but I’ve realised that this sort of thing has been happening my WHOLE life. It must be my appearance. I must look sweet and demure or something so people think I’m a pushover. Recently I’ve wondered if getting some tattoos or piercings would be the only way to get some respect.

But when I said to Duncan jokingly, “I’m a delicate flower,” he scoffed and said, “You? A flower?” To him, I’m probably more like a cactus.

It’s not just appearances unfortunately. I’ve also come to the realisation that I will never be taken seriously by some people. Even when I’m upset about something, some people will always presume I’m joking and have a little giggle at my expense. I’m tired of trying to get people to understand that although I’m a humorous person who likes to have a good laugh, there is a time and a place for everything. I’m a person not a clown! I have feelings the same as everyone else. I have good days and I have bad days. That’s normal. That’s HUMAN.

Those of you who have followed my blog for years now will remember the series I did leading up to my wedding day called Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine. That series recorded one of the lowest periods of my life in February 2008. After struggling with wedding stress (caused by guests mostly) and insomnia (during which I turned to sleeping pills), I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown. I went to church one evening and someone I did not know that well asked, in casual conversation, how I was and how I was going with the wedding plans. Now I know that when someone asks, “How are you?” it doesn’t mean they really want to know how you are. It has become more of a greeting than a question and any answer other than , “Ok,” or “Fine, thanks,” tends to attract weird looks like they’re thinking, I don’t REALLY care how you are, you dimwit! I was aware that this person was probably expecting an answer saying that I was fine and that the wedding plans were going well, but I don’t believe in lying. However, I knew that this person was just a casual acquaintance and I didn’t want to give them a detailed rundown of my woes like I would to a close friend. So I said something like this:
“Well, I’m finding it a bit busy and stressful at the moment since I’m not sleeping very well.”
Now I didn’t have a mirror in front of me, but I’m pretty sure that I was straightfaced so this person’s reaction really astounded me.
They giggled!
Yes, it was like they thought I was trying to be funny. That I was joking. That I was suddenly going to break out into a huge grin and say, “Just kidding.”

That has not been a lone incident.

Why? Why do people react like this? I do not understand it. Even humorous people get down. We should not be surprised that they are not untouched by the harsh realities of life. They suffer too. They need support. And when they are down, they need to be taken seriously.

It really irritates and saddens me because I feel like I have poured myself out in love for some people yet they cannot return the favour. I’ve sat with new mums who have cried because they are so overwhelmed with sleep deprivation. I’ve sent sympathy cards and messages to those who have lost loved ones. I’ve tried to show love in practical ways. That’s not to say I’m some kind of saint who has all the answers and comforts people perfectly. I get so overwhelmed by situations that sometimes I don’t know what to say. But because I know what it’s like to sit alone in a dark place and have some kind soul attempt to say or do something to help, I try with others – even if makes me look like a doofus. Their comfort is more important than my embarrassment over my faltering words.

So when I let people know that things are hard, it is SO hurtful that instead of comforting or walking with me through the trial, they crack stupid jokes they hope will cheer me up, or they avoid me until they think I’m over it and then come crawling out of the woodwork to enjoy some laughs with me again. It annoys me that someone else can write, I need a hug on Facebook and have everyone offer a virtual hug, but if I wrote something like that, I’d either be ignored, mocked or told to get over it.

Having said all this, I don’t want my truly wonderful friends to think that I don’t appreciate them. I do….so much. This is aimed at those who expect me to be their personal clown all the time…and don’t know how to handle it when I’m not feeling so cheerful.

I appreciate the care from people who know I’ve had a tough year and have expressed concern that I may develop depression. I thank God for those people because I know they’re asking (a) because they truly care and their motive is my wellbeing and (b) not because they just want me to snap out of it and ‘entertain’ them. I do get annoyed at people who say stuff like, “You’re not as cheerful as you used to be,” because they’re not around me all the time so how can they say stuff like that (they have just caught me at a bad time), and people have bad days and weeks and that’s just LIFE. Just because someone posts on Facebook that they’ve had a stinker of a day is no reason to sound the alarm bells. I would tell them I hope they’re ok, but I wouldn’t think they have depression unless it’s a constant occurrence.

Why am I posting all of this? Well, it was what I was getting at in Friday Focus: Mourning with the Mourning. I just want to be taken seriously as a person. I want to be allowed to grieve when people die without having people avoid me or expecting me to snap out of it in two seconds. I don’t want silly jokes when something seriously bad has happened. When I tell people, who have asked how I am and want honest answers, that things aren’t great, I don’t want to be laughed at. Why would ANYONE joke around like that?

I read somewhere that Rowan Atkinson is actually nothing like Mr Bean. Apparently he’s not that funny in real life; he saves his humour for television. I’m the same. Humour is appropriate only in some settings.

I have thought a lot about whether I should post this stuff for fear of copping more crap from smart-asses. But I’m saying, “WHO CARES!” Who cares what other people think. Who knows, I might actually help someone. Someone out there might read this and say, "Thank goodness. I thought I was the only one."

And then I hit ‘Publish Post'.

Friday Funny

2011-09-02T18:10:00.003+08:00

COULD YOU GO IN THIS TOILET?

This is a public toilet in Houston:

Now that you've seen the outside view, take a look at the inside view...

It's made entirely of one-way glass! No one can see you from the outside, but when you are inside it's like sitting in a clear glass box!

Now would you... COULD YOU... use it?!

Eleanor is 1

2011-09-01T17:45:00.001+08:00

How quick has that year gone! We were so glad we got to celebrate with Emma and Peter and the Little Miss recently.

She's crawling and pulling herself up on things, but not walking yet.

Happy Birthday Eleanor!

A cute cake for a cute girl.

Look Eleanor! Cake!

For me?

If you insist...

NOM NOM NOM

Have I told you how much I love cake?

Look Eleanor! Presents!

They have been a family of three for one year now.

Myself, Emma, Eleanor and Rhianon

Friendships in Different Seasons

2011-08-30T17:46:00.005+08:00

In hindsight, friendships seemed much easier at high school. Generally everyone is in the same stage of life – having crushes on boys, getting braces, getting periods, cursing pimples, thinking about what you’re going to do when you graduate. The biggest thing that threatens friendships is boyfriends. Generally the single friend knows that they just need to wait patiently and their good friend’s relationship will soon be over and they will have girl time again.

But after high school, everything changes. People go their separate ways. Busyness and different life paths take a strangle hold on relationships and threaten to tear them apart. You go from seeing your best friends every day to battling to see them every few months. Then there’s the financial gap. Some will quickly secure well-paying jobs and struggle to relate to their friends who chose full-time study. Then there’s the relationship gap. Some will marry and get swept up in the ‘couples crowd’, while their single friends either live it up solo or mourn their lack of attachment. Then babies come along and the chasm widens.

Yes, I think it’s babies – not boys – that prove the test of a friendship.

That’s not to say I resent my friends for having kids. Nor do I resent their offspring for being there. But it does make friendships rather tricky.

Why Babies Come Between Best Friends is a really good article which attempts to explain both sides – the friend with no kids and the parent. So much misunderstanding can occur when your good friend has children.
I guess the parent is the one who has experienced both sides. They know the feeling of being childless and also the trials and responsibilities that come with having kids so therefore they can probably relate more than the childless person.

We are often unsure what to do with friends who are in different stages of life. Rather than simply seeing life’s changes as a challenge, we see them as an insurmountable barrier to friendship. I don’t need to have kids to want to maintain a friendship with friend who has kids. Sure, it might be EASIER if I had kids too (more understanding, sharing problems, kids could play together while we talked), but I see having friends in different stages of life as a GOOD thing. It helps us step out of our little clone world of only socialising with people like us, and attempt to understand others. If you’re a parent, then having childless friends is a good reminder that there are other topics worth discussing besides kids. If you’re childless, then it can be very interesting and helpful watching your friends in their role as parents and seeing how they interact as a family.

Here are what I think are the perspectives of both camps. I can’t relate to the parent camp because I’m not in that stage of life yet, but I can go on what many of my friends who have kids tell me.

Single/Married With No Kids
When you’re single, your friends are a huge part of your life and provide the social interaction and emotional support that we all need. When their good friends marry off, it can be really hard for single people. They’re watching their friends gain more while they’re left behind with less.

Also, parents need to realise that not every single or DINK (Double Income, No Kids) is unhappy in their stage of life. While I was unhappy in my single days, I resented the constant question, “So when are you getting married?” Now I’m married, the constant, “When are you having kids?” annoys me even more! When I meet up with my friends who are parents, I don’t want them asking when I’m going to be like them; I just want them to accept the stage of life I’m in and that I’m content with my lot at the moment.

Unfortunately I’ve found forming relationships with some mums hard going. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t want to be friends with mums, or that all the mums in my life are cliquey and exclusive. Some of my really good friends are mums and our friendships survive and thrive because we don’t see the kids thing as a barrier. But not all mums are like my good friends. Some only appear to want to hang out with other mums and discuss poo and nappies and labour stories all day. Some seem to resent the ‘freedom’ my childlessness brings and make snide remarks such as, “Wait ‘til you have kids.” etc, making it sound like parenthood is an absolute nightmare, but then they can’t not see me without asking if I’m pregnant yet. I’ve also heard one of my friends (who is in a relationship) say that she is sick of mums implying that they are the only ones who know what hard work is. I don’t doubt motherhood is hard work, but my friend is a carer at a nursing home, she works long shifts, but loves her job and the dignity she helps bring to old people at the end of their life. Motherhood may be 24/7 but that doesn’t mean other work is not difficult or valuable too – just in different ways.

It’s sad but I’ve started to stop hanging out with groups of women who are all mums and I’m the odd one out. I love hanging out with women who are in different stages of life and celebrate the fact that we’re all WOMEN, or we’re all CHRISTIANS or we all like the same books. But some women only want to talk about what divides rather than what unites. I had the experience a couple of months ago of being with a group of young mums who did nothing but talk about their kids the whole time. It’s not that I’m not interested in their kids or grossed out by labour stories, but it meant that I was sitting there feeling like I might as well have been a hat rack in the corner because I couldn’t contribute to the conversation. When they noticed I hadn’t said anything for quite a while, they said, “Oh sorry, Sarah.” I explained (gently…yes I can do gentle) that I wasn’t grossed out by labour experiences, but I would appreciate the topic being changed to something that all of us could relate to. Two seconds later, they were back to the labour stories and this was after a day of asking me, “Do you like kids, Sarah?” or “Have we put you off kids yet?” I mean, how am I supposed to respond to those questions?

Being childless, I think you’re more aware of ‘women’s groups’ whether it be Bible study or just a catch up being hijacked and turned into mothers’ group or a place to whinge about husbands (DINK women are just as guilty of this). If any good has come out of this, it is making me more aware of how single girls must feel and I do try to steer the topic away from husbands and kids when there are a minority of single women present. I’ve been in their shoes and I know how alienating it can feel. I think many married women are just so happy to be married they don’t realise they’re doing it. And many single and childless people don’t NOT want to hear about families, they just want to feel valued and included. I think this is more of an issue in country towns. Duncan and I were asked when we were going to have kids the second we got back to Dally after our honeymoon. This would not have happened in Perth where most people accept that married couples will generally wait for a few years before starting a family. I just want to be valued as a person and not for my breeding capacity. Let me just say here that I admire single female teachers and nurses in country towns tremendously! They are my heroes.

In relation to kids, the B word is also what can drive a massive wedge between friends in different life stages. Yes – babysitting!

The reality is that many childless people feel used by their parent friends and feel like they are only good for minding other people’s kids. Years ago, a single friend of mine wanted to befriend the married women in her church so she offered to babysit the kids during the Women’s Bible Study (who were all mums). My friend LOVES kids so this brought her great joy, but she was not only seeking to serve, she wanted friendships too. She considered these women to be her good friends, but when she changed churches, only two of them kept in touch with her. She then realised that the only times she had been invited for meals was when there was babysitting attached. She felt these women had unwittingly used her.

Now I’m not telling you this story to paint all mums as evil people who just want free babysitting. Like I said before, I have fantastic mum friends who have never ‘used’ me, rather our friendship is one of give-take, and they don’t resent me for not babysitting their kids. But unfortunately there are parents who are on the lookout for potential babysitters rather than potential friends. Duncan and I feel that if we were to have a family one day, we would not ask our friends to babysit unless they offered or had lots of kids and didn’t mind a few more coming over. It’s not that we don’t want to help our friends; it’s just that we feel completely ill-equipped and awkward to deal with other people’s kids (and no, I don’t think any amount of babysitting can prepare you to have a child of your own). I’ve had well-meaning people suggest to me that if I want to befriend mums, I should offer to do some babysitting or ironing for them, and that has immediately got my back up. First of all, I’m not on a mission to befriend mums in particular – I want to befriend women and I don’t care what stage of life they’re in. Nor do I want to be ‘used’. I think Ali from Something My Foggy Day is right in her post On Friendship when she spots the difference between friendship and service. Like I was told to just ‘go out and serve’ in order to make friends, she picks up that this doesn’t equate to friendship. Certainly friendship does involve serving one another, but the service is reciprocated according to the abilities of the friends. If it's one way, then it isn't friendship.

I’ve also realised it is harder for childless women and mums to become friends than it is for childless men and dads. For a long time, I’ve had difficulty convincing Duncan just how alienated I feel being the only ‘non mum’ on the farm. There are five other blokes on the farm besides Duncan and four of them are dads. When they get together they talk about farming or shooting or something they have in common. Duncan does ask them how little Johnny is going and they give a brief update, but don’t go into much more than that. It was only recently at a friend’s daughter’s birthday party did Duncan come away saying, “Gee those mums talk about their kids a lot.”

I told you so, Duncan!

Parents
In aiming to share the parents’ perspective, I’m drawing on statements my mum friends have made over the years. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how my life would change should I become a parent, and where I would want my childless friends to show understanding.

Many of my friends who are mums say they battle with the isolation that parenthood can bring. A fifteen minute task now takes forty-five. Getting out of the house is a struggle no matter how much they might WANT to go out so it just easier to stay at home (particularly if they have more than one child). Their old spontaneous life is gone and they need to plan their day around feeds, naptimes and school pickups. In my naivety, I thought it would be easier for mums to make friends because they can meet other mums at playgroup or school. But a few mums have told me they found other mums would form cliques and exclude them, leaving them feeling more lonely than ever.

Many of my friends with kids use Facebook for some adult conversation and a window to the outside world so they feel hurt when being accused of being Facebook addicts. To them, Facebook is their way of keeping up with friends they may not be able to see in person.

Many childless women are guilty of just letting their friendships lapse when their friends become parents, as if they assume their friend is only going to want to hang out with mums now. Many mums say they find this hurtful. They DO want to keep up their friendships – they just find it hard. I’m just as guilty of this. Sometimes it’s nice just to invite people even if you know they can’t come. It shows that you are still thinking of them.

If the mum has given up a lucrative career to have a child, then it’s good to encourage them and tell them their new role is valued and worthwhile. The world often looks down on women for leaving the workforce for motherhood. Nobody values the love and care they are bestowing on a new human being. Instead they are just criticised for swapping suits for trackies. All I’ve heard some mums say they want is to be considered valuable and appreciated by society for the sacrificial role they are fulfilling.

Another thing mums have said they want is for their friends to help them in the way they want help. For example, I’m not even a mum, yet people coming to my house and putting dishes away where I can’t find them is NOT helpful. Ask your friends who are mums how they want to be helped. They may want you to mop floors rather than hold the baby for them. Of course, not all friends will be comfortable with or have the ability to do everything the mum wants (i.e. babysitting). But you can try and help in practical ways.

Keep coming over to see them even if their house is messy or they haven’t had time to have a shower. Don’t make them feel bad; they’re doing their best.

Take an interest in their husband and kids. Often it’s easy for a single person to feel threatened by these other people in your friend’s life who have taken YOUR place. But not all husbands are idiots and not all kids are badly behaved brats. Talk to them and get to know them. You may find that you haven’t ‘lost’ your friend after all – you’ve gained extra ones.

If I have kids, I could imagine I would find it quite hard. I don’t like busy, stressful times where my life feels like it has been turned on its head. I would find it quite difficult to get out and about. I don’t cope well with little sleep. I want practical help (like cooking and cleaning) not ‘advice’. I hope that if that day comes, my friends without kids would understand and know that I still want to be their friend.

It Takes Two
When one friend has children and one doesn’t, it can really rattle the friendship. But it need not end it. The friendship will only fall apart if one friend chooses to let it. Sure you will probably have to say goodbye to spontaneous trips to the cinema or the pub. Things won’t be the same, but they can still be good.

I used to wonder which was harder – watching a friend you have grown up with become a mum, or trying to become friends with women who have always been mums as long as you’ve known them. I think both can be hard. Both require effort from both parties.

There will be times when one friend may feel they are putting more into the relationship than the other. These times may include getting married, having a baby, starting a new demanding job, and moving house. But while these seasons of change can be demanding and stressful, wisdom is needed to know when that season of busyness has ended. For example, you may not see much of a friend who has just got back from their honeymoon, but things should have settled down after a few months. A friend may not have much time with a newborn, but things are different when all of their children are at school. This requires BOTH friends to stop making excuses and realise they both need to put the effort in.

See a new season as a new chapter - not the end of the book.

Quote of the Day

2011-08-29T20:43:00.000+08:00

A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle.

- Anonymous

Get On Your Soapbox #19

2011-08-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

It seems like it's the Australian thing to have a whinge about our government...

But did you know that governments are established by God?

They were established for our good, to maintain order, to prevent anarchy, to administer justice, to govern wisely. Yes, there are bad governments, no doubt about it, but as much as I might not like Julia Gillard, I do not think things are as bad in Australia as the whingers make out. We should be grateful we don't live in Zimbabwe, Libya, or Syria. We should get down on our knees and thank God we weren't born in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia or Italy under Mussolini.

So, when Christians think they are above the law, it really gets my blood boiling!

Our ultimate allegiance is to God. If the government asks us to do something which disobeys how God wants us to live (like trying to stop Christians telling the gospel), then we need to obey God first and foremost. But I personally know too many Christians who take that as a licence to disobey the laws of the land and decide which ones they should reinterpret.

A couple of weeks ago, it was Census night here in Australia. Once in five years our government asks us to fill out a basic form. ONCE in FIVE years. That's not a massive inconvenience. You're not being asked to disobey God. How hard is it to fill in a ruddy form PROPERLY?!? I get so sick of hearing about Christians generally being idiots by writing that they speak 'Crap' in the Language section or ticking the wrong gender. I'm sick of people saying, "Oh, but the information never gets used for anything anyway." Really? I know people who have worked for the Australian Bureau of Statistics. I have worked at Curtin Uni and taught students how to access and use the Census data for their assignments. You'd be surprised at the range of courses that need statistics for assignments. So the government may not use the information for what we would like, but they are asking us to do a simple thing. Do it!

Don't get me started on Christians who think it's ok to speed or drink drive. I was the designated driver once while out dancing with a group of Christian friends. I was horrified that they kept trying to pressure me to drink! They must have been completely insane! I never have more than one drink when I'm out now (going out is rare now that I live in the country). I've been in the situation before where the designated driver started drinking and fortunately I'd had nothing to drink so I could drive us home. If not, we would have been screwed!

Then there are the revhead morons who think it's their right to reinterpret the road rules. Apparently it's ok to speed because everyone else drives too slow. Hmmm. Apparently they have such brilliant driving skills, I should trust them even though they are going 20km over the speed limit. Apparently it's ok to read a book while driving on the freeway if it's the Bible you're reading (no joke). Then there are the Christian girls who think Christian guys being tools in utes on the road are like....so cool. I roll my eyes.

No, burning CDs illegally is NOT ok. You are stealing from an artist who has a right to an income. I can imagine how it would feel if my book was published and someone scanned it and put it on the net for free download. I've slaved away for years on that book! No, it is not ok to make a copy for a family member who does not live with you. A lot of copyright rules state that you can make another copy for yourself (i.e. one for your house and one for your car), but you may NOT make a copy for another person. I had one person try to justify illegally burning CDs because they reckoned they are too expensive and they have a right to cheap music. Really? I didn't know CDs were a necessity.

Our government is far from perfect, but they have been established by God. We are called to honour our government whether it be by obeying traffic laws or filling in a form. And we should not submit out of fear of the consequences for disobedience, but submit joyfully out of conscience and our love for God. For there is nothing like Christians living as though they are above the law that brings dishonour to God's name. So, yes the next time you merrily do 10km over the speed limit and Mr Speed Camera lets you know about it, remember he is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.

Bible Verse of the Day

2011-08-24T20:55:00.001+08:00

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgement on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honour, then honour.
Romans 13:1-7

5 Favourite P!nk Songs

2011-08-23T18:17:00.000+08:00

Last year a friend of mine gave me P!nk's latest CD for my birthday, and I liked it so much, I went out and bought one of her earlier ones as well.

The language can be a bit off sometimes, but I love the honesty in her lyrics. She captures thoughts and feelings that I've often felt myself.

It was hard to choose just 5 songs.....

1. Funhouse
2. Sober
3. Please Don't Leave Me
4. Dear Mr President
5. Don't Let Me Get Me

Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk

2011-08-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

Marriage is like walking into the toilets at a nightclub. If you've ever been to a club, chances are the toilets had those awful purple lights that show up every flaw on your skin. You can go to a club confident that your foundation covers everything, only to have every blemish revealed under the lights. Like the purple nightclub lights, marriage reveals your heart, your flaws, your weaknesses, your sin. But while that sounds horrible, I believe it is a good thing. Although it is uncomfortable and sometimes terrifying, we need to see what is below the surface.

When I heard this song by P!nk, I felt as though she had written it just for me, that she had somehow gotten into my head without my permission. Not that I have an awful marriage by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm just being honest here. Of course P!nk has had dramas in her own marriage which perhaps provided the inspiration for this song?

I don't know if I can yell any louder.
How many times have I kicked you out of here?
Or said something insulting?
Da da da, da da.

I can be so mean when I wanna be.
I am capable of really anything.
I can cut you into pieces,
But my heart is broken.
Da da da, da da.

Please don't leave me.
Please don't leave me.
I always said how I don't need you,
But it's always gonna come right back to this.
Please don't leave me.

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty.
Da da da, da da.

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest.
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest.
But, baby, I don't mean it.
I mean it, I promise.
Da da da, da da.

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me.
I can't live without, you're my perfect little punching bag.
And I need you, I'm sorry.
Da da da, da da.

Marriage 101: Hot Stuff

2011-08-18T16:56:00.002+08:00

Hmmm I fear that I may have to put a disclaimer on this post just to avoid having my head bitten off.

Nah!

But seriously, I think I'm going to have to put, "I mean this...but I don't mean this," about fifty times. Here goes....

Duncan and like to joke around about getting old. I say to him, "Will you still love me when I'm old and wrinkly and saggy baggy?"
He always replies with, "Yes, honey. I'll still love you, honey." Then he adds a joke about my boobs being down around my knees someday. Ha! I tell him that I don't have any now anyway so I've got nothing to worry about.

When Duncan asks me if I'll still love him when he's bald, I tell him, "Only if you go to Advanced Hair (yeah yeah)."

'Til death do us part' in marriage often involves growing old together. The aging process is part of life and, despite all the lotions and potions on the market these days, nothing can reverse that.

But you can grow old gracefully...or you can grow old disgracefully.

I honestly think there is a place for looking after yourself when you're married (or at any stage of life). Knowing that some people may take this the wrong way, I'd better proceed cautiously.

I do NOT mean a 1950s kind of idea where a woman is expected to put on makeup and a pretty dress to greet her husband when he gets home from work, despite having a busy, stressful day of raising kids.

I do NOT mean things about our bodies which may impossible to change (such as women regaining a pre-baby figure).

I am NOT advocating plastic surgery, liposuction, tummy tucks, boob jobs etc.

I am NOT suggesting you need to spend hundreds of dollars on a designer wardrobe.

Now that's out of the way, I DO mean that each spouse should make an effort to look after themselves. Yes, this is not a woman being told, "You need to look good for your husband." The onus is on the husband as well.

Look after yourself and your body.

For women, this might mean foregoing that extra block of chocolate (especially if you are going to complain about your weight afterwards). Comfort eating does not work!

For men, this might mean taking your health seriously and going to see a doctor, rather than assuming, "It's all good, mate." And that beer gut didn't appear on its own.

Nearly two years ago now, Duncan decided he was fed up with his weight and that he was going to do something about it. So during harvest 2009, he gave up eating cake, biscuits etc while he was driving the truck, and replaced them with fruit. He said it was hard going at first and he felt so tired, but his body eventually adjusted and he lost 10-15kg. He has managed to keep it off! Now Duncan didn't lose weight for me (he primarily did it for himself), but I benefited from a happier and less-snoring husband.

We expect our spouse's love to be unconditional (and it should be to an extent), but that doesn't give ourselves the right to just let ourselves go and demand love anyway. Duncan would still love me even if I put on 50kg, but he would be concerned if it was because of my own poor diet. Yes, we will face difficult seasons in life such as running around after small children, illness or injuries. Putting in the time to look after ourselves will be a struggle. The irreversible effects of aging will creep in. But there is a vast difference between not being able to do anything about the scars or wrinkles on our body and scoffing more chocolate (which you can do something about).

When you are married, your body is no longer your own. It also belongs to your spouse.

We are friends with a couple who have a regular date night where they get really dressed up. Yes, they are only at home having a candlelit dinner. And before anyone asks, yes they have three children. But they make the effort.

Some things are unavoidable, but you can look after yourself so that even after 50 years of marriage, your spouse says, "You look as good as you did on the day I married you."

Another Questionnaire!

2011-08-16T17:06:00.010+08:00

Is your best friend single? Don’t have a best friend, but most of my good friends are married or in relationships.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Duncan

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? Yes, my honey and my mum.

What’s wrong with you? A few things.

Where will you be 12 hours from now? Asleep

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Something appropriate to wear to work.

Are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop

Does anyone hate you for no reason? For no reason? Probably. For a reason? Well, they must have a reason.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yeah it would be incredible to see how things were long ago. As long as I could get back to the future though.

Are you easily confused? Sometimes. Some movie plots baffle me and so does some people’s behaviour.

What is it you truly want right now? My loved ones to come to know Christ…oh a big block of chocolate would be nice too.

How many windows are open on your computer? 3

Who was your last incoming call from? The accountant.

Ever dated anyone starting with J? No

What did you last eat? Chicken and salad.

Last drink? Water

Who do you want to be with right now? My Duncan...awwww.

Where is your sister? No sister, only one brother.

Do you like surprises? Yes, good ones.

Last three people to text you? My dad, my mum and my netball coach.

Is there a meaning behind your Facebook profile song? Whaaat? I didn’t know you could have a profile song. Isn’t that a bit myspace?

Are you slowly drifting away from someone? Yes, unfortunately. Some friendships just don’t survive growing up, distance and life changes.

Where was your profile picture taken? On Facebook: Frenchman Bay, near Albany. On my blog: my old house in Cannington.

Something you do a lot? Watch TV, listen to sermons, read, Facebook, blogging, walking, cooking, looking after pets, sport.

Are you mean? I do have a mean streak, I’ll admit that.

Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes

Do you get a lot of colds? Not usually, but the second half of last year was horrible for sicknesses.

Would you consider painting your bedroom purple? No. Duncan wouldn’t like it one bit, and it would remind me of the Dockers *bleergh*.

Do you like Chris Daughtry? Who’s he?

Would you rather watch the Disney Channel or the Discovery Channel? Disney, but I want the old Disney stuff from the 1960s - Bedknobs and Broomsticks, The Sword in the Stone, Pollyanna, The Parent Trap, Swiss Family Robinson…stuff like that.

What is one thing that you hate about living where you live? No mobile reception, isolation, small town mentality.

What is the weather like today? Overcast and windy.

Did you know that you can actually RENT wedding rings? That’s awful, it’s like just assuming the marriage will fail. Although I think some Hollywood couples should invest in this sort of thing.

Have you ever read an entire book in a matter of a few hours? Yes, but it was a short book.

Do you like 3OH!3? I have no idea.

Do you own an iPod? No, I’m so behind in technology. I don’t feel the need to keep up with the Joneses. I have an mp4 player, but it's crap.

What was the last movie you watched? Antwone Fisher

How many siblings do you have? One younger brother.

Do you have a lot of posters on your wall? No, stopped doing that when I left home at 17.

What's your writing look like? Half neat, half scrawly. It used to be much neater when I was at school, but got messier when I went to uni and was trying to take notes in lectures.

Did you drink any coffee today? No, I usually only drink it when I’m at work, a friend’s house or a café.

Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? No, gross.

Do you have any Jordan's in your cell phone? Yes

What was the last thing you spent money on? Groceries

Have you kissed or hugged someone lately? My man everyday.

Are your parents over the age of 40? Yes, well over 40. They are in their early sixties.

Do you like glitter? Not really. It gets over everything and is hard to clean off.

What colour was the car that you last rode in that wasn't yours? White

Charles Spurgeon: The Great Orator

2011-08-12T17:41:00.003+08:00

I'm slowly getting around to reading books I've had in my bookcase for years. I've had Charles Spurgeon: The Great Orator by J.C. Carlile since my 21st birthday (shame, shame).

Charles Spurgeon is one of those Christian figures in history I'd been curious about for a while. I'd heard he was famous for his preaching but nothing much else.

While the book was hard going at times, I finished it feeling inspired and encouraged by Spurgeon's life and the impact he had for God's kingdom. Part of the Heroes of the Faith series, the biography kind of lags in the opening chapters, but gets more interesting and readable as Spurgeon's life and ministry progresses. I think this is due to the way it's written more than the content. It doesn't have the fresh, bouncy language of many other books I like.

One thing the book did was make me acknowledge the importance of the gift of preaching to God's church. Today the value of preaching is becoming diminished. People are quick to point out that they don't find someone standing up and speaking to a group to be the most effective way to learn from God's Word. I agree that we all have different learning styles, but often in our busyness, we have lost the ability to just be still and listen. Yet in Spurgeon's day churches were slowly emptying as well. His preaching combined with the work of the Spirit impacted many, many lives for eternity.

The Word of God is powerful!

Overall, I found the man more inspiring than the book. I'm sure there are better biographies out there, but unfortunately I don't know of any to recommend. I'm now looking forward to reading some of his sermons one day.

Quote of the Day

2011-08-11T17:19:00.000+08:00

By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.
- Charles Spurgeon

Refiner's Fire by Brian Doerksen

2011-08-10T18:06:00.009+08:00

While the purification process is painful, the results are definitely worth it.

Purify my heart.
Let me be as gold and precious silver.
Purify my heart.
Let me be as gold, pure gold.

Refiner's fire,
My heart's one desire,
Is to be holy,
Set apart for You, Lord.
I choose to be holy.
Set apart for You, my Master,
Ready to do Your will.

Purify my heart.
Cleanse me from within,
And make me holy.
Purify my heart.
Cleanse me from my sin,
Deep within.

Malachi 3:3

2011-08-09T17:50:00.002+08:00

Malachi 3:3 says:

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

That week the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says, He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh that's easy - when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. Whatever you're going through, you'll be a better person in the end.

Welcome To My Wardrobe

2011-08-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Earlier this year I had a wardrobe cleanout. Duncan still thinks it was an excuse to buy more clothes. I have two words to say to that....OP SHOPS! :)

When it comes to clothes, I've always had a certain attraction for the weird and wonderful. Yep, this post is something a bit different. You're about to take a whirlwind tour of my wardrobe. :)

I do have a thing for weird skirts!

Bohemian skirt

Hippy skirt

Funky Asian skirts

Random purple skirt

My dad thinks this skirt looks like a towel.

'Whoa you're spinning me out' skirt.

Bright colours for summer

Crazy shirts

You can never have too many faces.

A friend thought this was Michael Jackson (definitely NOT)

Tiger....RAH!

Monsters...RAH!

I love t-shirts with witty sayings. This one says 'I Go Batty At Night'.

I'm Awake...What More Do You Want?

Chocolates...Here Today...Gone Today. A friend found this shirt for me and reckoned it was highly appropriate. I think she's right! :)

Oh and have I mentioned how much I love HATS? :)

Despite my semi-unusual taste in clothes, I am very fussy when it comes to others buying me garments. I have one friend who I trust to buy me clothes and that's it. Another friend once bought me a top two sizes too big (ummm...hello?)

What's So Amazing About Cooking Shows?

2011-08-03T21:53:00.002+08:00

Why is everyone currently OBSESSED with Masterchef, My Kitchen Rules and all that jazz?

I have one word to say about such shows:

BORING!

What is so interesting about watching people cook? Why are so many Australians hooked on reality TV? We know by now that it's not 'reality', but highly crafted.

Maybe it's because I couldn't eat half of the stuff they cook on these shows anyway. But even in my pre-arthritis and pre-low starch diet days, I never understood why some people are so tantalised by gloop, garnished with gloop, with more gloop on the side.

I'm proud to say I've never watched an episode of any cooking show. The most I've ever seen is a few seconds while I change channels, but when I've been asked if I've been watching Masterchef and reply 'no', the horrified looks I get are quite hilarious. It seems it is THE show to watch for Christians and I must be committing blasphemy by not tuning in.

If you want a reality cooking show, then come to my kitchen. 'Cooking with Sarah on the Farm' doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but you'd get to see me in all my cooking glory with no editing. Here's what you could expect:

An improvised recipe due to me forgetting some of the ingredients, and now the shops are shut and just too far away anyway.
Shooing Ebony out of the kitchen.
Cooking by candlelight because the power's gone out (thank God for gas stoves and ovens).
The smoke alarm going off (fortunately this is a rare occurrence and usually only happens when I get distracted).
Me deciding to scrap the planned meal and do something easier instead.

Yes, my friends, THAT is reality.

I suspect the answer to this post may well be, "Each to their own." Other people probably don't understand why I like what I do either.

I don't get it. Please explain....

Small Groups: Why Have Them At All?

2011-08-01T19:12:00.001+08:00

I guess this is the logical question to ask in this series.

What can small groups achieve that larger groups may struggle to?

I've been in some shocking small groups (which I'll go into in a later post), but overall my experiences have been positive. I think small groups benefit introverted or shy people especially.

Here are some reasons why I think small groups are beneficial and worth putting effort into:

It is generally easier to get to know people on a deeper level. This does depend on the personalities in the group, but a small group makes it harder for people to remain silent and not have anyone notice. Generally people notice if you're sitting quietly and not speaking to anyone which doesn't always happen in a crowd. Some people have mentioned they have found it easier to invite friends to a Bible study group rather than a big church service. Again, this depends on the personality of the person you're wanting to invite (some people like being lost in the crowd where they can just take everything in rather than having people set upon them, asking them who they are etc).
Moving on from this point...I've found some great friends in small groups whereas many people I've only known at church remain at an acquaintance level. I became friends with a good friend of mine through Bible study. We'd been in the same church for years, but never got to know each other. She had to leave early each week because of work so I would email the prayer points to her. Our friendship grew from there.
There are more opportunities to become involved and serve others. There often tends to be more 'passengers' in larger gatherings. Because you're getting to know people better, their needs become more obvious. Small groups give people to confidence to try new things in front of a familiar, supportive audience.
Small groups enable you to focus on and care for a particular group of people. There are so many opportunities to love others, it can become a bit daunting. That doesn't mean we ignore other needy people, but the group gives us a place to start.
The people you're meeting with are likeminded. That doesn't mean there aren't personality clashes and disagreements, but generally the reason for meeting is pretty clear e.g. we read books, we study the Bible and pray, we're all mums, we play tennis etc. Sometimes in larger groups the group's purpose can become lost.

I don't know where I would be in my faith if it wasn't for small groups. I would have ended up with only shallow relationships and become daunted and lost in the crowd (this can happen in churches only of 50 people). I don't know where I would be in a small farming community without sporting groups. That doesn't mean everyone I've met has become my best friend (some experiences have been far from positive), but overall the benefits are huge.

The sad thing is when small groups die. You're in a group which has been a fantastic experience, but slowly people's busyness is choking the group. Less and less people turn up at each meeting. You're still keen, but others have lost their drive. The hardest thing is learning to let go. Some groups were always destined to have an expiry date, but having wisdom in when to give up trying to resurrect a dying group is painful.

What small groups have you been part of, and did you find them beneficial?