One more sleep and my surname will change. Well, much more than that of course - my life will change.
If you're a regular reader of this blog and would like to witness two fellow bloggers tie the knot, then you're welcome to rock up to the ceremony, have a stickybeak and enjoy some afternoon tea. It's at Scarborough Church of Christ (402 Karrinyup Road, Gwelup) at 1pm TOMORROW (Saturday 12th April).
Seriously, don't feel weird if you want to come and have a squiz. There will be STACKS of people. As long as you're not a creepy stalker type, you're more than welcome :)
As for this blog, well.....I'll be back!
Don't nobody go nowhere.....
Showing posts with label Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine. Show all posts
Friday, April 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Why Are We Doing This?
After all the stress this wedding has caused, the logical question seems to be....
"Why bother?"
Seriously we don't need all this 'stuff' to be married. The traditions, the rituals and all that jazz. We could just elope on the beach and it makes our marriage no less 'real'. Part of me still wants to.
Coupled with the preparations, we've had grief from people who have complained, let us down and threatened us that they may not come to the wedding unless we bow to their wishes and wants. I've seen the uglier side of some people we know. I've seen the uglier side of myself. The wedding has been taxing on my physical, mental and spiritual health. I love Duncan and I want the marriage, not the wedding.
Why bother?
Well, it's a chance to share Jesus with those we love as they share in our wedding day.
Now I know our wedding is not primarily an evangelistic event. It doesn't mean that we use this opportunity to talk about Jesus and never talk about him 1-1 with our friends. It doesn't mean that we bible bash people until they go, "Yeah okay, we know you're Christians" because they already know anyway. There will be a lot of non-Christians there and, for many, it will be the first time they've been to anything remotely 'Christian'. But that doesn't mean we have the 'get the fish into the barrel and shoot them' mentality. We just want to make the most of this opportunity.
My prayer is for more people to respond to Jesus by following him as their Lord and Saviour. Then all of this stress will seem like nothing in comparison to the joy I know I'd feel. However that doesn't mean that we cut people off if they don't become Christian. No, they are our friends and family and we will love them always, regardless.
"Why bother?"
Seriously we don't need all this 'stuff' to be married. The traditions, the rituals and all that jazz. We could just elope on the beach and it makes our marriage no less 'real'. Part of me still wants to.
Coupled with the preparations, we've had grief from people who have complained, let us down and threatened us that they may not come to the wedding unless we bow to their wishes and wants. I've seen the uglier side of some people we know. I've seen the uglier side of myself. The wedding has been taxing on my physical, mental and spiritual health. I love Duncan and I want the marriage, not the wedding.
Why bother?
Well, it's a chance to share Jesus with those we love as they share in our wedding day.
Now I know our wedding is not primarily an evangelistic event. It doesn't mean that we use this opportunity to talk about Jesus and never talk about him 1-1 with our friends. It doesn't mean that we bible bash people until they go, "Yeah okay, we know you're Christians" because they already know anyway. There will be a lot of non-Christians there and, for many, it will be the first time they've been to anything remotely 'Christian'. But that doesn't mean we have the 'get the fish into the barrel and shoot them' mentality. We just want to make the most of this opportunity.
My prayer is for more people to respond to Jesus by following him as their Lord and Saviour. Then all of this stress will seem like nothing in comparison to the joy I know I'd feel. However that doesn't mean that we cut people off if they don't become Christian. No, they are our friends and family and we will love them always, regardless.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Invitation and Table Seating Politics
Attention all married people!
Did you ever have this happen at your wedding? Guests complaining that you have invited their worst enemy and telling you not to seat them on the same table. Or even threaten not to come because of someone else who is going to be there.
Well, we have and it really got my goat. It started when I began doing the table seating arrangements (a fiddly and painstaking job). I casually mentioned to a friend what table she might be on but told her not to say anything to anyone because nothing was set in stone by that early stage. The very next day she told another guest what table she was on and who with and made it sound like it was all definite. A couple of hours later, Duncan got a text message from this guest saying that they didn't want to come anymore because she heard she was going to be on a table with someone she didn't like (which wasn't true anyway). Duncan tried to appease this person by saying we'd seat her elsewhere. I told him he should have told her where she should stick her invitation!
A few days later, I got a text message from a good friend asking if her worst enemy was coming to the wedding. I told her yes but just to the ceremony as I'm not close enough to this other person to invite her to the reception. The next thing, my friend was ringing me and whinging that she didn't want this other person there, in other words, it sounded like that she was threatening not to come if I invited her enemy. I pretty much told her where to go and then she shut up and is coming to the wedding.
In the last few weeks, we've been finding out about all these little (or bigger) grievances that our guests have with each other that we never knew about. And guess what? All of the people complaining have been women! No surprises there, I guess. Most of the guys I know are mature enough to just deal with it if someone they don't like is there.
A friend said to me last week that she reckoned for someone else to dictate who the couple invite to their wedding is the height of bad manners. I agree! I have been on tables at receptions where I've felt really uncomfortable but I just dealt with it because it wasn't my wedding and I don't want to make anything more difficult for the couple. There is a maximum of 10 and a minimum of eight people on each table at our reception and that's more than enough to avoid someone if you really want to. Obviously we're not going to deliberately sit known enemies together but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm not going to go around forcing people to reconcile - that's their business - but I do expect a bit of maturity and unselfishness from people in their twenties and thirties who are old enough to know better.
The next person who complains is off the guest list - I don't care who they are. I just can't believe some people would consider missing their friend's wedding because of one other person. One couple I'm friends with from student housing days are coming to the wedding and don't know anyone else except me. They said they are happy to sit with anyone, even a bunch of old ladies, and just talk to whoever. I wish more people would be like them, although the ones who are causing trouble are a minority and in no way reflect the rest of the guest list.
Did you ever have this happen at your wedding? Guests complaining that you have invited their worst enemy and telling you not to seat them on the same table. Or even threaten not to come because of someone else who is going to be there.
Well, we have and it really got my goat. It started when I began doing the table seating arrangements (a fiddly and painstaking job). I casually mentioned to a friend what table she might be on but told her not to say anything to anyone because nothing was set in stone by that early stage. The very next day she told another guest what table she was on and who with and made it sound like it was all definite. A couple of hours later, Duncan got a text message from this guest saying that they didn't want to come anymore because she heard she was going to be on a table with someone she didn't like (which wasn't true anyway). Duncan tried to appease this person by saying we'd seat her elsewhere. I told him he should have told her where she should stick her invitation!
A few days later, I got a text message from a good friend asking if her worst enemy was coming to the wedding. I told her yes but just to the ceremony as I'm not close enough to this other person to invite her to the reception. The next thing, my friend was ringing me and whinging that she didn't want this other person there, in other words, it sounded like that she was threatening not to come if I invited her enemy. I pretty much told her where to go and then she shut up and is coming to the wedding.
In the last few weeks, we've been finding out about all these little (or bigger) grievances that our guests have with each other that we never knew about. And guess what? All of the people complaining have been women! No surprises there, I guess. Most of the guys I know are mature enough to just deal with it if someone they don't like is there.
A friend said to me last week that she reckoned for someone else to dictate who the couple invite to their wedding is the height of bad manners. I agree! I have been on tables at receptions where I've felt really uncomfortable but I just dealt with it because it wasn't my wedding and I don't want to make anything more difficult for the couple. There is a maximum of 10 and a minimum of eight people on each table at our reception and that's more than enough to avoid someone if you really want to. Obviously we're not going to deliberately sit known enemies together but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm not going to go around forcing people to reconcile - that's their business - but I do expect a bit of maturity and unselfishness from people in their twenties and thirties who are old enough to know better.
The next person who complains is off the guest list - I don't care who they are. I just can't believe some people would consider missing their friend's wedding because of one other person. One couple I'm friends with from student housing days are coming to the wedding and don't know anyone else except me. They said they are happy to sit with anyone, even a bunch of old ladies, and just talk to whoever. I wish more people would be like them, although the ones who are causing trouble are a minority and in no way reflect the rest of the guest list.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Two Not One
It's amazing the number of people who plan their weddings to a tee before they get engaged or even meet someone!
Trust me, as soon as you get engaged a lot of your carefully made plans will go out the window.
I thought I'd get married outside - I'm not.
I thought I'd have a small-ish wedding - no chance there!
When I was a teenager (and not Christian), I planned my wedding, even though I was far too young to get married and didn't have a boyfriend. I (like many non Christians) expected to live in a defacto relationship before marriage and already own my own home. Obviously Duncan and I are not living together and we don't have enough money to buy a house.
Times change and so do decisions.
I hear so many chicks saying, "My wedding will be like this.....". For a start, it's not my wedding - it's ours. A wedding is between two people. You are not marrying yourself.
Some singles have criticised me for changing my plans so Duncan and I can compromise. I tell them that if they get engaged, their carefully made plans will probably change too as they'll want to compromise with their fiance.
A marriage is about two not one, or rather about two becoming one. A wedding is a good place to start practising that.
Trust me, as soon as you get engaged a lot of your carefully made plans will go out the window.
I thought I'd get married outside - I'm not.
I thought I'd have a small-ish wedding - no chance there!
When I was a teenager (and not Christian), I planned my wedding, even though I was far too young to get married and didn't have a boyfriend. I (like many non Christians) expected to live in a defacto relationship before marriage and already own my own home. Obviously Duncan and I are not living together and we don't have enough money to buy a house.
Times change and so do decisions.
I hear so many chicks saying, "My wedding will be like this.....". For a start, it's not my wedding - it's ours. A wedding is between two people. You are not marrying yourself.
Some singles have criticised me for changing my plans so Duncan and I can compromise. I tell them that if they get engaged, their carefully made plans will probably change too as they'll want to compromise with their fiance.
A marriage is about two not one, or rather about two becoming one. A wedding is a good place to start practising that.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Piking Hens
Last weekend I was really excited. It was only a week until my kitchen tea and hens night. Now it's only two days away. It's rare for me to get excited these days. Most days I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water but this was a day I was really looking forward to.
My bridesmaids have organised it all and it's a big surprise. I love good surprises. I know the kitchen tea is going to be at my house this Saturday afternoon and then afterwards, we're going out for a night of fun! Even though I don't know what awaits me, I know it's nothing inappropriate. The girls wouldn't do that; I trust them.
In many ways I was looking forward to the hens night more than the wedding.
My bridesmaids have organised it all and it's a big surprise. I love good surprises. I know the kitchen tea is going to be at my house this Saturday afternoon and then afterwards, we're going out for a night of fun! Even though I don't know what awaits me, I know it's nothing inappropriate. The girls wouldn't do that; I trust them.
In many ways I was looking forward to the hens night more than the wedding.
- It was an event for me that I didn't have to organise. All I have to do is make sure my house is clean and then turn up.
- I get to invite all of the people and of course they're all people I know.
- There won't be a huge crowd of people I don't know.
There will be 173 people (including Duncan and I and the bridal party) at our wedding reception. Most of those people will be there for Duncan. I was looking forward to the hens night because I can finally go to an event without being in 'meet and greet' mode.
My hopes were shattered on Tuesday when Emma told me that only three people were coming to the hens night - and one has since realised she can't come. That's two. Two out of 25 that I invited!
Many people have not RSVPed at all. Those that have, some are going to be away on holidays or at the Jack Johnson concert which they booked months earlier. That's fine, I understand. I wish those people could come and I know they do too. I'm grateful that they cared enough to let me know.
What I am mega cheesed off about is that a lot of people haven't even bothered to reply at all and Emma said that some have told her that they plan to come to the kitchen tea but not the hens night. When I asked some of them about it, they didn't have a reason (such as work or another commitment) - it just sounded like they couldn't be bothered coming. Why I don't know as there will be nothing offensive at the hens night, I'm sure. It's like some people just think they can keep me happy by making an 'appearance' and then they can feel good about themselves.
No, no, no - that's not the point. I would always make the effort for someone's special occasion. Sure, you can't attend EVERY event but I would at least make an effort for important occasions. It seems like many of my friends and family just don't want to bother. I'm obviously not that important to them.
My bridesmaids did not understand why some people want to come to the kitchen tea only, if they don't have anything on that night. They said, "The kitchen tea isn't the main event."
I don't know what they're planning but I know it involves money and that they had to pay a deposit for something. I really don't want them to be out of pocket. It's not like it's really expensive and I don't want people using the "I'm poor" excuse if they're really not poor. I'm not aware that I've invited anyone in dire financial straits and if they are, then I'm sure they could just explain the situation to the bridesmaids and we could work something out. Throughout my life, I've met many young people who are 'conveniently poor'. That is, they don't want to pay for some things and claim they have no money. Then they see a new CD or top they like and suddenly they have money again. Hmmm, convenient that.
I don't care if it sounds selfish but my hens night is about me. It's one night where I get to do what I want. I don't complain about what other people organise for their own special occasions, I just go along with it because it's NOT my event. It's about celebrating with them. Even if what the bridesmaids have organised does not resonate with some people, surely they could make an effort for me, especially if they are not faced with moral compromises.
I was sitting at work yesterday, feeling like an absolute sad sack and trying not to let the tears start flowing. It's like my workmates said, "This generation is the 'me' generation". They don't bother about making an effort for other people unless they're getting something out of it. For them, it's not about how they can help someone celebrate their special day, it's about whether they enjoyed the show. I don't care if that offends people because right now I'm very hurt and I don't know if I'll bother with some people in the future.
One of my friends said about her birthday party a couple of years ago, "I feel like people only came to eat my food and drink my piss," then she hastily added, "not my urine - my alcohol." I know the feeling.
Duncan said myself or the bridesmaids should chase up those who are yet to RSVP (about 11 of them). I said "no". There's no way I'm going to chase people up. If they're so slack, they can miss out. I think Christina has sent a strongly worded email to them anyway. We had to chase people up for the wedding and some didn't even apologise for RSVPing late.
Some people complained they only had a few days to RSVP. I sent out a 'Save the Date' email in February to which some people responded. How much time do people need? We gave people about a month to RSVP for the wedding and some couldn't even do that!
One of my friends recently moved house and didn't get her invitation. THAT'S a legitimate excuse. I think she's coming though. I hope so as I can't wait to see her.
I know I'm not the first person to have a hens night where nearly everyone's bailed. Christina told me about a friend of hers who invited 30 people to her hens night and only seven turned up! Seven out of 30. That's pathetic!
But it's quality not quantity that counts. Thank you to my bridesmaids for organising for whatever it is. I'm sure I'll love it. Thank you to those couple of people who are coming. And thank you to those who can't come but at least have genuine reasons and RSVPed on time. I will miss having you there and wish I could change the date but I can't.
Anyone else had a hens night or know of someone who's had one where this sort of thing has happened?
Anyone want to come on Saturday night? Apparently you need $30 and a desire to have a good time.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: RSVPs
Ho ho ho, I bet you're thinking. Yes, many of you will know how I feel about people who don't RSVP. I have already mentioned it before in a previous post. And those thoughts aren't exactly kind ones.
The RSVP date for our wedding has now been and gone (it was last Wednesday). I was expecting to have to call half of our guest list to see if they were actually coming because this happened to my bridesmaid, Rhianon in the lead up to her wedding nearly three and a half years ago. I remember feeling disgusted when she told me.
Actually the vast majority have been very good and RSVPed on time. We've had to chase up a few people and surprisingly they've been people who are usually very prompt in this area. Most people are now accounted for except for a few we just can't get in touch with....very frustrating!
Duncan wanted to be in charge of RSVPs because he said he wanted to take something off my 'to do' list. I was very grateful for this. I also suspect that he knew that if I'd been the RSVP person, I'd have cast out anyone who RSVPed late or not at all and made them sit outside where there'd be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
I've said it before and I've said it again - not RSVPing to an event that you're asked to RSVP to is really not good enough. Unless you're facing a major disaster or helping someone else who's in the middle of one, there really is no excuse. "I'm busy" or "I forgot" are not excuses. Guess what? Duncan and I are flat out with work and organising this wedding but we've still RSVPed on time to other things. People who don't respond because they're hoping a better offer will come along should learn to make a decision, stick to it and become people of integrity.
Here are my tips to RSVPing on time:
The RSVP date for our wedding has now been and gone (it was last Wednesday). I was expecting to have to call half of our guest list to see if they were actually coming because this happened to my bridesmaid, Rhianon in the lead up to her wedding nearly three and a half years ago. I remember feeling disgusted when she told me.
Actually the vast majority have been very good and RSVPed on time. We've had to chase up a few people and surprisingly they've been people who are usually very prompt in this area. Most people are now accounted for except for a few we just can't get in touch with....very frustrating!
Duncan wanted to be in charge of RSVPs because he said he wanted to take something off my 'to do' list. I was very grateful for this. I also suspect that he knew that if I'd been the RSVP person, I'd have cast out anyone who RSVPed late or not at all and made them sit outside where there'd be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
I've said it before and I've said it again - not RSVPing to an event that you're asked to RSVP to is really not good enough. Unless you're facing a major disaster or helping someone else who's in the middle of one, there really is no excuse. "I'm busy" or "I forgot" are not excuses. Guess what? Duncan and I are flat out with work and organising this wedding but we've still RSVPed on time to other things. People who don't respond because they're hoping a better offer will come along should learn to make a decision, stick to it and become people of integrity.
Here are my tips to RSVPing on time:
- Don't get someone else to do it for you (unless you're part of a couple or family, that's different). If you ask a friend to do it for you and they forget, then you're just going to look like a slacker.
- Put the invitation somewhere prominent where you'll see it all the time such as on the fridge or sticky-taped to a mirror. Don't stuff it away in a drawer or let it get buried in piles of junk.
- Do it straight away as soon as you get the invitation. Don't say "I'll do it later," because chances are you'll forget. If you need some time to figure out if you can come (ie. because of work schedules), do it as soon as you find out whether you're free on that day.
- Put a reminder on your mobile or your work calendar or something that will pop up and make a loud noise to remind you.
- Don't just assume the hosts know you're coming. They are not psychic. It's amazing when you follow people up, how they go, "Yeah, course I'm coming." Well, how was I supposed to know that if they don't tell me?
Thank you to all those who have RSVPed on time whether yay or nay. We really appreciate you doing this. You've certainly made our lives a lot easier and helped us keep our phone bills down a bit.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: End in Sight
This will be a much more positive post in this series.
I thought I'd let you all know how the wedding plans are coming along....because I'm starting to get sick of being asked. I know people are asking with the best intentions and because they care; it just starts to get a bit repetitive after a while.
Wedding planning is not a sprint....it's a marathon. You have to take it slowly, bit by bit, otherwise you'll get exhausted and won't finish the race. I was a sprinter at school and a poor long distance runner so maybe that's why wedding planning and I are NOT good friends.
Dress
I've paid it off and it's still sitting in the shop. I bought it off the rack and it has stains on it so the shop is cleaning it for me for free. I'm about to make an appointment with a lady Duncan knows who is a dressmaker so she can do the fitting. She is much cheaper than bridal shops.
Jewellery
My cousin, Gab, is making it for me. She used to own a bead shop with my auntie and I worked for them while I was at uni. I emailed her a picture of what I wanted and she's now emailed me photos of the finished creation. It's fabulous, I love it. Now we just have to meet up so she can do the fitting.
Shoes
That was a painstaking mission. I looked EVERYWHERE for shoes but couldn't find anything. I wanted flat shoes because I have a problem with my right foot and can't balance in heels. After months of looking, I finally decided to get custom-made ones. Much more expensive but I'll get lots of wear out of them afterwards.
Veil
I'm borrowing my bridemaid, Rhianon's. She just has to get it back from someone else who borrowed it off her.
Hair accessories
Again, couldn't find what I wanted in the shops (I must just be very unfashionable). Bek put me onto ebay but I ended up finding some on another site which I have ordered.
Hair
I have booked a mobile hairdresser who came highly recommended from friends who used her for their weddings. I've picked a hairstyle I like from a magazine. Now I just need to book a hair trial.
Makeup
My bridesmaid, Christina, is doing my makeup, her own and the rest of the bridal party. She did Emma's makeup for her wedding plus she does modelling and has done a makeup course so I'll know she'll be great. We'll be getting ready at her house which is just several minutes drive from the church.
Cars
We've hired some cars and asked friends to be chauffeurs for us.
Bridesmaids
The dresses should arrive from over east in a matter of days. The 'maids all came for dinner at my house last week (special thanks to Rianna who drove all the way from Albany) and we made some plans. They've picked jewellery and hairstyles and will go shopping for their own shoes. They sent me out of the room after dinner so they could continue plotting for my kitchen tea and hens night.
Groom and Groomsmen
They've hired their suits.
Church
We're getting married at Scarborough Church of Christ and one of the guys there is doing sound for us.
Reception Venue and Catering
These were some of the first things to be sorted.
Cake
A lady who knows Craig is making our wedding cake. She made his and Sarah's as well. We have met with her and given her a picture of a cake we liked and also got to taste some of her cake as well. Very nice!
Table Decorations
My mum is taking care of that. I just gave her an idea of what I wanted and I think she's very much enjoyed having it as her little project. We'll be setting up the function room the day before the wedding.
Flowers
A friend, Philippa, from church who is a floral designer is doing them for us. She's also doing the afternoon tea for us after the ceremony. We've paid for everything so that's all good.
Photographer
What started off as a fruitless search, ended with us finally getting a photographer. She photographed my former workmate's wedding back in 2006. We have met with her and showed her some examples of photos we like, completed her checklist of what we want photos of and have paid a deposit. We have some possible locations in mind but much will depend on the day.
Videographer
A friend of Duncan's.
Bonbonieres
Have an idea of what we want but haven't done them yet.
Invitations
I don't want to talk about them. After all the drama they caused, they're out and we're now starting to get RSVPs.
Orders of service
Haven't done them yet. Need to meet with David (pastor) to sort it all out.
Ushers
My brother, Tim, and Duncan's cousin, Liz.
Bible reading
Haven't picked someone yet although we have a few people in mind. My mum asked me if she could read the Bible and we weren't sure how to respond as she's not Christian and probably won't believe anything she reads. Goodness knows, why she wants to read the Bible then but I think she just really wants to be involved in the ceremony. Duncan and I were talking about it and we agreed although we'd prefer a Christian to read, we realise that God may indeed be working on her heart and we don't want to get in his way. She said she won't be offended if we said no but I have something else I'd like her to do. I want her to come down the aisle and have and her and Dad both give me away. I think she'll like that.
Prayer during the ceremony
Duncan's dad is going to pray for us at the ceremony.
Ceremony Music
We picked three Christian songs we liked. Our friend Rohan is our 'musical director' (he's done countless weddings) and he's busy recruiting our friends to play in the 'band'.
DJ
This almost ended up as a disaster when our original DJ pulled out on us two weeks ago (he said he never agreed to be our DJ?!?). Rather than panic, I had this strange feeling that God was in complete control and just a few days later we had another DJ - Chris, a guy we know from Christian circles. He's not a professional DJ but has done it for weddings before and we know he'll do a good job. We've picked out all the music ourselves including the processional, signing the register, recessional, entry at the reception, dinner, first dance and dancing songs
MC
Our friend, James. I'm expecting a few anti-Eagles jokes. Maybe I shouldn't say that - he's read this blog before.
Application for marriage form thingy
It has been submitted so we'll be legally married. Yay!
Honeymoon
I have no idea where I'm going. Duncan's organised it all.
Beauty treatments
Have to book all that. I really don't need it anyway ;)
I've probably forgotten to mention something but, anyway, we're getting there. Slowly but surely.
I thought I'd let you all know how the wedding plans are coming along....because I'm starting to get sick of being asked. I know people are asking with the best intentions and because they care; it just starts to get a bit repetitive after a while.
Wedding planning is not a sprint....it's a marathon. You have to take it slowly, bit by bit, otherwise you'll get exhausted and won't finish the race. I was a sprinter at school and a poor long distance runner so maybe that's why wedding planning and I are NOT good friends.
Dress
I've paid it off and it's still sitting in the shop. I bought it off the rack and it has stains on it so the shop is cleaning it for me for free. I'm about to make an appointment with a lady Duncan knows who is a dressmaker so she can do the fitting. She is much cheaper than bridal shops.
Jewellery
My cousin, Gab, is making it for me. She used to own a bead shop with my auntie and I worked for them while I was at uni. I emailed her a picture of what I wanted and she's now emailed me photos of the finished creation. It's fabulous, I love it. Now we just have to meet up so she can do the fitting.
Shoes
That was a painstaking mission. I looked EVERYWHERE for shoes but couldn't find anything. I wanted flat shoes because I have a problem with my right foot and can't balance in heels. After months of looking, I finally decided to get custom-made ones. Much more expensive but I'll get lots of wear out of them afterwards.
Veil
I'm borrowing my bridemaid, Rhianon's. She just has to get it back from someone else who borrowed it off her.
Hair accessories
Again, couldn't find what I wanted in the shops (I must just be very unfashionable). Bek put me onto ebay but I ended up finding some on another site which I have ordered.
Hair
I have booked a mobile hairdresser who came highly recommended from friends who used her for their weddings. I've picked a hairstyle I like from a magazine. Now I just need to book a hair trial.
Makeup
My bridesmaid, Christina, is doing my makeup, her own and the rest of the bridal party. She did Emma's makeup for her wedding plus she does modelling and has done a makeup course so I'll know she'll be great. We'll be getting ready at her house which is just several minutes drive from the church.
Cars
We've hired some cars and asked friends to be chauffeurs for us.
Bridesmaids
The dresses should arrive from over east in a matter of days. The 'maids all came for dinner at my house last week (special thanks to Rianna who drove all the way from Albany) and we made some plans. They've picked jewellery and hairstyles and will go shopping for their own shoes. They sent me out of the room after dinner so they could continue plotting for my kitchen tea and hens night.
Groom and Groomsmen
They've hired their suits.
Church
We're getting married at Scarborough Church of Christ and one of the guys there is doing sound for us.
Reception Venue and Catering
These were some of the first things to be sorted.
Cake
A lady who knows Craig is making our wedding cake. She made his and Sarah's as well. We have met with her and given her a picture of a cake we liked and also got to taste some of her cake as well. Very nice!
Table Decorations
My mum is taking care of that. I just gave her an idea of what I wanted and I think she's very much enjoyed having it as her little project. We'll be setting up the function room the day before the wedding.
Flowers
A friend, Philippa, from church who is a floral designer is doing them for us. She's also doing the afternoon tea for us after the ceremony. We've paid for everything so that's all good.
Photographer
What started off as a fruitless search, ended with us finally getting a photographer. She photographed my former workmate's wedding back in 2006. We have met with her and showed her some examples of photos we like, completed her checklist of what we want photos of and have paid a deposit. We have some possible locations in mind but much will depend on the day.
Videographer
A friend of Duncan's.
Bonbonieres
Have an idea of what we want but haven't done them yet.
Invitations
I don't want to talk about them. After all the drama they caused, they're out and we're now starting to get RSVPs.
Orders of service
Haven't done them yet. Need to meet with David (pastor) to sort it all out.
Ushers
My brother, Tim, and Duncan's cousin, Liz.
Bible reading
Haven't picked someone yet although we have a few people in mind. My mum asked me if she could read the Bible and we weren't sure how to respond as she's not Christian and probably won't believe anything she reads. Goodness knows, why she wants to read the Bible then but I think she just really wants to be involved in the ceremony. Duncan and I were talking about it and we agreed although we'd prefer a Christian to read, we realise that God may indeed be working on her heart and we don't want to get in his way. She said she won't be offended if we said no but I have something else I'd like her to do. I want her to come down the aisle and have and her and Dad both give me away. I think she'll like that.
Prayer during the ceremony
Duncan's dad is going to pray for us at the ceremony.
Ceremony Music
We picked three Christian songs we liked. Our friend Rohan is our 'musical director' (he's done countless weddings) and he's busy recruiting our friends to play in the 'band'.
DJ
This almost ended up as a disaster when our original DJ pulled out on us two weeks ago (he said he never agreed to be our DJ?!?). Rather than panic, I had this strange feeling that God was in complete control and just a few days later we had another DJ - Chris, a guy we know from Christian circles. He's not a professional DJ but has done it for weddings before and we know he'll do a good job. We've picked out all the music ourselves including the processional, signing the register, recessional, entry at the reception, dinner, first dance and dancing songs
MC
Our friend, James. I'm expecting a few anti-Eagles jokes. Maybe I shouldn't say that - he's read this blog before.
Application for marriage form thingy
It has been submitted so we'll be legally married. Yay!
Honeymoon
I have no idea where I'm going. Duncan's organised it all.
Beauty treatments
Have to book all that. I really don't need it anyway ;)
I've probably forgotten to mention something but, anyway, we're getting there. Slowly but surely.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Health Update
Thank you all who have emailed, texted, phoned, offered help or prayed for me after yesterday's post. I especially appreciate the prayers as my few prayers seem to lack substance at the moment.
At the moment, I'm quite woolly-headed due to a sleeping pill I took last night. Yesterday I bought some over-the-counter ones and they have made me so groggy, I have decided to stop taking them. Today, I saw a doctor who has prescribed me some different sleeping pills which hopefully won't have such a drastic effect. After only taking one of the other ones, I feel like I could sleep for years. Pity I have to work.
I asked the doctor if she could prescribe me some anti-anxiety tablets but she wouldn't, saying that they will turn me into an absolute zombie. I guess the sleeping pills will have to be enough. For those of you, who like my mum, may be worried that I'm going to turn into a drug addict - don't worry. It's only a very short course and hopefully my sleeping patterns will be fixed so I won't be nocturnal anymore and will be able to be much more calm.
The wedding is going ahead in its current form.....but we're going to need lots of help. Duncan and I met up last night and we walked through the park near my house, discussing what the issues are. Although there are a few niggly things hanging over my head that need to be done, I think it's my fear of the day itself that is making me so anxious. In particular it's the reception that will be the most daunting - having to go around to 18+ tables and greet people, starting many different conversations, being torn in 50 different directions. I just find it too physically and emotionally draining. So we're asking our mums to go around to the different tables (which my mum had planned to anyway) and greet people on our behalf in case we can't get over there. If I do, I plan to say a short greeting and that's it. The rest can be thanked in our speech. Part of me is annoyed that I won't get to enjoy much of own reception; it'll be too much of a whirlwind.
We're still both pretty daunted and anxious but Duncan said today, "God will help us through it."
Part of me still wants to elope but then I also want to be able to cope with the same style of wedding that most people have.
My prayer is that it ends up being like the Melbourne experience. I was so nervous and stressed leading up to it, with my presentation and all, but once I got there, the fears melted away. I would actually really like to enjoy my wedding day.
I already have people onto different tasks and they are a great help. Thank you!
I also handed in my resignation at work yesterday. It is such a tremendous relief!
I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a decent night's sleep tonight and having a better day tomorrow.
At the moment, I'm quite woolly-headed due to a sleeping pill I took last night. Yesterday I bought some over-the-counter ones and they have made me so groggy, I have decided to stop taking them. Today, I saw a doctor who has prescribed me some different sleeping pills which hopefully won't have such a drastic effect. After only taking one of the other ones, I feel like I could sleep for years. Pity I have to work.
I asked the doctor if she could prescribe me some anti-anxiety tablets but she wouldn't, saying that they will turn me into an absolute zombie. I guess the sleeping pills will have to be enough. For those of you, who like my mum, may be worried that I'm going to turn into a drug addict - don't worry. It's only a very short course and hopefully my sleeping patterns will be fixed so I won't be nocturnal anymore and will be able to be much more calm.
The wedding is going ahead in its current form.....but we're going to need lots of help. Duncan and I met up last night and we walked through the park near my house, discussing what the issues are. Although there are a few niggly things hanging over my head that need to be done, I think it's my fear of the day itself that is making me so anxious. In particular it's the reception that will be the most daunting - having to go around to 18+ tables and greet people, starting many different conversations, being torn in 50 different directions. I just find it too physically and emotionally draining. So we're asking our mums to go around to the different tables (which my mum had planned to anyway) and greet people on our behalf in case we can't get over there. If I do, I plan to say a short greeting and that's it. The rest can be thanked in our speech. Part of me is annoyed that I won't get to enjoy much of own reception; it'll be too much of a whirlwind.
We're still both pretty daunted and anxious but Duncan said today, "God will help us through it."
Part of me still wants to elope but then I also want to be able to cope with the same style of wedding that most people have.
My prayer is that it ends up being like the Melbourne experience. I was so nervous and stressed leading up to it, with my presentation and all, but once I got there, the fears melted away. I would actually really like to enjoy my wedding day.
I already have people onto different tasks and they are a great help. Thank you!
I also handed in my resignation at work yesterday. It is such a tremendous relief!
I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a decent night's sleep tonight and having a better day tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: I Can't Cope
I never planned to do two of these posts back to back but it's just the way things pan out.
As you might be able to tell from the title, I'm not doing too well right now.
I'm seriously considering calling off the wedding.
Yes, I'm serious.
I just can't cope anymore. Last night I had an 'episode'. I just wasn't myself. It was the straw that finally broke my back. I found out the invitations went out with the wrong year on them. Now I feel so stupid and if any smart arse says to me, "Oh I've missed your wedding by a year," I swear I won't hold my vicious tongue back.
Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to some people but it matters to me. I have spent so much time and money on those invitations. The sheer amount of guests mean it has taken us ages. Every night I've been up cutting, gluing and writing. Yes, we've had help from other people but I'm finding most people are just too busy. By the time we can actually arrange a time to get people around, it's quicker to just do it myself.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time. I've been waking up several times per night and sometimes I can't get to sleep until the early hours of the morning. I'm so tense and wide awake that I can't settle down, then I'm a zombie during the day at work and when the night comes I can't sleep again.
Last night, I knew I'd hit a new low when I started helping myself to my housemate's Panadeine Forte which causes drowsiness. Now I'm at work, feeling even worse but I didn't have much choice. I'm trying to go and see a doctor but they're always booked. I just want something to calm me down and help me sleep. I want to beg them to prescribe me some drugs because I don't know what else could possibly help.
Maybe, in a small way, I can understand how Heath Ledger must have felt.
I can't sleep at night and when I finally do get to sleep, it's time to wake up. Only then I'm in zombie mode and can't get up. So I come to work later (I'm on flexi time) and then I have to stay later to make up the time. Then I spend all my weeknights and weekends doing wedding stuff and have people whinge at me that I never catch up with them, so I try to see them and it makes my tiredness worse.
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm sick of well-meaning people who suggest things like massages to calm me down. Don't you think that if I had TIME to have a massage, I'd do it? It's only a Bandaid solution. It doesn't take away the underlying problem. People say, "I want to help you," to which I reply, "Then take away the thing that's causing the stress."
That's the wedding and work.
But they can't take them away, can they?
Work is the craziest its been for a long time. Next week is orientation which means the campus will be flooded with new students. I'm down for my heaviest teaching load in ages and I just don't know how I'll make it on top of everything else. If I pull out, everyone will just start bitching about me behind my back. All day long something else is added to my 'to do' list and I'm always being asked why something isn't finished.
I just want to quit my job and elope with maybe our immediate families and our pastor. I still want to marry Duncan, that's not the issue, I just don't want this wedding in its current form. I look at people who have 80-100 guests and I seeth with jealousy, wanting that so bad instead of the 180-200 guests we're going to have. I honestly don't care if lots of people can't come; in fact I'm hoping they don't. I know it sounds evil but I just can't handle crowds. The engagement party was bad enough, the wedding is going to be much worse. I don't want people gawking at me, I just want to be left alone. Duncan has SO MANY relatives, there's no way we can halve our list. We either have to have everyone...or no-one.
I'm terribly afraid I'm going to get sick on my honeymoon. It always happens when I finally get downtime after a very busy and stressful period.
Part of me feels we're too far into the preparations to call everything off now. I have no choice but to go ahead. And I'm quite sure Duncan wants everything how it is. We're meeting tonight to have a talk about what to do...and I really don't know what to do.
Because another part of me does want to share the day with everyone. I'm worried that if we eloped then I'll look back and regret not having everyone there. I just don't know how I'd make it through the wedding day. I wish I was like other girls who get through their weddings fine and don't have to make serious compromises and miss out because they just can't handle crowds and stress. I know it's not healthy to dread your own wedding day.
I'm also sick of people who make vacant blank offers to help us and when we actually accept their offer they say they're too 'busy'. Well, if you're too 'busy' then why did you offer in the first place if you were only going to let me down?
I'm also sick of people who say "chill" or "calm down" or "don't stress." I'm TRYING to do that. Do they actually think I want to be like this?
I wish I could be one of those super humans who cruise through their wedding preparations and the actual day (or at least appear to). I wish I could could cope better with everything. I wish I didn't get so stressed. I wish I didn't need a nana nap on weekends because I sleep better during the day than at night for some strange reason. I wish people who take on too much weren't upheld as martyrs (particularly in churches) and made out to be more godly because they have people over for dinner every night, have 10 kids and participate in all the church's ministries. Every time I tell people I'm not coping, they give me a strange look as if they're thinking they or someone else take on much more than me and they're not stressed.
Well I'm not Super Susan or Amazing Annie or whoever else they know.
I'm me and I'm a person with serious limitations. It's actually very liberating to admit that. Someone has to be the first to drop their mask and if it has to be me, then so be it.
One of my friends has been pulling out of a lot of things because she just can't do it all. Another friend left our engagement party early because he couldn't handle the crowd. If anything good has come out of this, is that it's making me a lot more compassionate towards these people and I admire their courage to realise their own limitations; to pull back and not care what others think.
It was so refreshing talking to a family friend last night because she actually understood me. She said if that had happened to her wedding invitations, she would have reacted far worse than I did and that her husband is always the calm one. It was so great that she didn't judge me and when she says she'll help, she actually keeps her word. She's not one of those who say they'll help but don't want to forfeit a night out with their other friends to do it.
It's a relief that my mum finally understands. She said that my health comes before the wedding.
I'm wondering if God is punishing me for being like Martha and not like Mary in the Bible. But I don't have time to pray or do Bible study. I call out to God to take it all away but he doesn't.
I just want to go back to Melbourne and sit in a hotel room and watch TV and movies all day. Or maybe go to a deserted beach somewhere and just read.
I can relate to Jenny's prayer in Forrest Gump
"Dear God. Please turn me into a bird so I can fly far far away."
As you might be able to tell from the title, I'm not doing too well right now.
I'm seriously considering calling off the wedding.
Yes, I'm serious.
I just can't cope anymore. Last night I had an 'episode'. I just wasn't myself. It was the straw that finally broke my back. I found out the invitations went out with the wrong year on them. Now I feel so stupid and if any smart arse says to me, "Oh I've missed your wedding by a year," I swear I won't hold my vicious tongue back.
Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal to some people but it matters to me. I have spent so much time and money on those invitations. The sheer amount of guests mean it has taken us ages. Every night I've been up cutting, gluing and writing. Yes, we've had help from other people but I'm finding most people are just too busy. By the time we can actually arrange a time to get people around, it's quicker to just do it myself.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time. I've been waking up several times per night and sometimes I can't get to sleep until the early hours of the morning. I'm so tense and wide awake that I can't settle down, then I'm a zombie during the day at work and when the night comes I can't sleep again.
Last night, I knew I'd hit a new low when I started helping myself to my housemate's Panadeine Forte which causes drowsiness. Now I'm at work, feeling even worse but I didn't have much choice. I'm trying to go and see a doctor but they're always booked. I just want something to calm me down and help me sleep. I want to beg them to prescribe me some drugs because I don't know what else could possibly help.
Maybe, in a small way, I can understand how Heath Ledger must have felt.
I can't sleep at night and when I finally do get to sleep, it's time to wake up. Only then I'm in zombie mode and can't get up. So I come to work later (I'm on flexi time) and then I have to stay later to make up the time. Then I spend all my weeknights and weekends doing wedding stuff and have people whinge at me that I never catch up with them, so I try to see them and it makes my tiredness worse.
It's a vicious cycle.
I'm sick of well-meaning people who suggest things like massages to calm me down. Don't you think that if I had TIME to have a massage, I'd do it? It's only a Bandaid solution. It doesn't take away the underlying problem. People say, "I want to help you," to which I reply, "Then take away the thing that's causing the stress."
That's the wedding and work.
But they can't take them away, can they?
Work is the craziest its been for a long time. Next week is orientation which means the campus will be flooded with new students. I'm down for my heaviest teaching load in ages and I just don't know how I'll make it on top of everything else. If I pull out, everyone will just start bitching about me behind my back. All day long something else is added to my 'to do' list and I'm always being asked why something isn't finished.
I just want to quit my job and elope with maybe our immediate families and our pastor. I still want to marry Duncan, that's not the issue, I just don't want this wedding in its current form. I look at people who have 80-100 guests and I seeth with jealousy, wanting that so bad instead of the 180-200 guests we're going to have. I honestly don't care if lots of people can't come; in fact I'm hoping they don't. I know it sounds evil but I just can't handle crowds. The engagement party was bad enough, the wedding is going to be much worse. I don't want people gawking at me, I just want to be left alone. Duncan has SO MANY relatives, there's no way we can halve our list. We either have to have everyone...or no-one.
I'm terribly afraid I'm going to get sick on my honeymoon. It always happens when I finally get downtime after a very busy and stressful period.
Part of me feels we're too far into the preparations to call everything off now. I have no choice but to go ahead. And I'm quite sure Duncan wants everything how it is. We're meeting tonight to have a talk about what to do...and I really don't know what to do.
Because another part of me does want to share the day with everyone. I'm worried that if we eloped then I'll look back and regret not having everyone there. I just don't know how I'd make it through the wedding day. I wish I was like other girls who get through their weddings fine and don't have to make serious compromises and miss out because they just can't handle crowds and stress. I know it's not healthy to dread your own wedding day.
I'm also sick of people who make vacant blank offers to help us and when we actually accept their offer they say they're too 'busy'. Well, if you're too 'busy' then why did you offer in the first place if you were only going to let me down?
I'm also sick of people who say "chill" or "calm down" or "don't stress." I'm TRYING to do that. Do they actually think I want to be like this?
I wish I could be one of those super humans who cruise through their wedding preparations and the actual day (or at least appear to). I wish I could could cope better with everything. I wish I didn't get so stressed. I wish I didn't need a nana nap on weekends because I sleep better during the day than at night for some strange reason. I wish people who take on too much weren't upheld as martyrs (particularly in churches) and made out to be more godly because they have people over for dinner every night, have 10 kids and participate in all the church's ministries. Every time I tell people I'm not coping, they give me a strange look as if they're thinking they or someone else take on much more than me and they're not stressed.
Well I'm not Super Susan or Amazing Annie or whoever else they know.
I'm me and I'm a person with serious limitations. It's actually very liberating to admit that. Someone has to be the first to drop their mask and if it has to be me, then so be it.
One of my friends has been pulling out of a lot of things because she just can't do it all. Another friend left our engagement party early because he couldn't handle the crowd. If anything good has come out of this, is that it's making me a lot more compassionate towards these people and I admire their courage to realise their own limitations; to pull back and not care what others think.
It was so refreshing talking to a family friend last night because she actually understood me. She said if that had happened to her wedding invitations, she would have reacted far worse than I did and that her husband is always the calm one. It was so great that she didn't judge me and when she says she'll help, she actually keeps her word. She's not one of those who say they'll help but don't want to forfeit a night out with their other friends to do it.
It's a relief that my mum finally understands. She said that my health comes before the wedding.
I'm wondering if God is punishing me for being like Martha and not like Mary in the Bible. But I don't have time to pray or do Bible study. I call out to God to take it all away but he doesn't.
I just want to go back to Melbourne and sit in a hotel room and watch TV and movies all day. Or maybe go to a deserted beach somewhere and just read.
I can relate to Jenny's prayer in Forrest Gump
"Dear God. Please turn me into a bird so I can fly far far away."
Monday, February 11, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Our Day, Our Way
Okay, this one has been a long time coming.....
When Duncan and I got engaged in July last year, we were warned that people would try to hijack our wedding plans. Many people from our nearest and dearest to mere acquaintances would suddenly think it is their right to dictate what type of ceremony we had, to who we would invite and even the music!
Part of me believed the warnings but another part of me doubted that our supposed loved ones would be that rude. Surely they would encourage and support rather than moan and complain....wouldn't they?
The warnings were accurate. You see, they came from married people who knew what they were talking about. They had been through it and felt the stress themselves.
At times our engagement has felt like a neverending battle to have things done as we liked. The trouble is there's often no way you can politely rebut people's 'suggestions'. They are persistent little whingers, there's no doubt about it.
Here are a list of things I've been advised (told) I need to do/have:
When Duncan and I got engaged in July last year, we were warned that people would try to hijack our wedding plans. Many people from our nearest and dearest to mere acquaintances would suddenly think it is their right to dictate what type of ceremony we had, to who we would invite and even the music!
Part of me believed the warnings but another part of me doubted that our supposed loved ones would be that rude. Surely they would encourage and support rather than moan and complain....wouldn't they?
The warnings were accurate. You see, they came from married people who knew what they were talking about. They had been through it and felt the stress themselves.
At times our engagement has felt like a neverending battle to have things done as we liked. The trouble is there's often no way you can politely rebut people's 'suggestions'. They are persistent little whingers, there's no doubt about it.
Here are a list of things I've been advised (told) I need to do/have:
- 'Music for single people'. Yes, one particular single friend initially took objection to the fact that Duncan and I would have our first dance and then invite everyone up for a few slow songs. Apparently this is offensive to singles because they have no-one to dance with. For heaven's sake, I know a lot of my single friends will just grab a fellow single (same sex or opposite sex) and just have fun. And there's only a few slow songs during the dancing time anyway. When I suggested that to this person, I was told that if they danced with someone, they might presume they have a crush on them and it would be too embarrassing.
- Not too loud music.
- Old music (e.g. 50s and 60s)
- No fruit skewers for the afternoon tea after the ceremony. Instead there must be scones.
- My brother must be allowed to bring a partner even though he is single and knows other people at the wedding anyway.
- I have to invite random relatives I haven't seen or heard from in years. This includes a cousin who has stood me up the last few times I've invited him to anything.
- I must wear a veil because it's tradition.
- I must go down the aisle to the Wedding March because it's tradition.
- Some people want alcohol at the reception and others don't want there to be any.
- Others have criticised our decisions and started with the "If I was getting married, I'd do this...." to which I've had to bite my tongue not to say, "Well, you're not getting married, are you."
Aaaaaaah! Is there any wonder some brides turn into bridezillas? Yes, there are some brides who are spoilt brats but I can now see that many are just pushed over the edge by interfering people who think it is their 'right' to dictate how things go.....people who are supposed to be a support and a help, not a hindrance.
And there is one person who has caused the most stress of all.....
Mother
Apparently because she is helping financially, that means she gets a say in how things pan out. I have told her repeatedly that I will NOT accept money with strings attached. I would rather elope on the beach and get to do things our way.
We clash because she is traditional and I'm not. Yes, there are many things about our wedding that are traditional but because we like it - not for the sake of tradition. My mum has complained that I don't do anything 'normal' when I mentioned that I've considered wearing either sparkly 'ruby slippers' or cowboy boots under my dress. I probably won't but if I did I'm well within my rights to do it. If I want to come down the aisle in a black leather number with fishnets or a pink tutu, I'll do it.
In my view, weddings are about two people uniting before God til death do them part. It is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and his bride and each wedding points to the ultimate wedding and banquet - when Christ returns for his people.
Yes, it is a great celebration of two families coming together but it is NOT about the family. It is not their wedding and it is not a chance for them to live their dream through their kids. As I've told my mum, "You've already had your wedding. If you want another one, go and renew your vows." Yes, I can be sharp but you need to be sometimes.
Maybe that's why I'm not great at delegating. I know if I delegate to some people, I'll end up with something completely different to what we planned. It's easier to do it myself. Sad but true.
The only people who need to agree are Duncan and myself. While some people have great ideas, I resent those who DEMAND that it be done a certain way. I mean, far out, we have been very reasonable with this wedding. We've invited everyone, we've kept it within a reasonable cost, we've considered people with special requirements such as diabetics, vegetarians and people who need wheelchair access. It's not like we're demanding all our guests be flown to England so we can get married in an expensive castle and have a reception at $500 per head.
To those who warned us about the opposition we'd face, you were right. I don't understand how you can hold a birthday party, housewarming or engagement party and everyone just goes with it but when the word 'wedding' is mentioned, everyone thinks they have a right to put in their 'orders.'
If our wedding offends you so much, I have a simple solution. Don't come!
Our day, our way, your privilege to be there.
Boy, do I feel better after that!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: The Dress!
Here's some very very old news that I should have told you months ago but didn't. Sorry but, hey, that seems to be the story of my life at the moment.
As you may have guessed from the title of this post....I have a wedding dress. And I bought it back in late August. That's how slack I've been in relaying news on this blog. Too much to say, too little time to say it.
Before I went wedding dress shopping, I had a fair idea of what I wanted but was open to other possibilities. Making my own would have been far too stressful so I wanted the easy option of just buying something off the rack. I was actually planning to go second-hand if I could.
Some of the dresses in wedding magazines are just hideous. The girls practically look like poodles. Obviously I can't describe the look I'm going for because Duncan reads this blog and I want it to be a surprise. I love surprising people!
Emma came with me to the first shop but I didn't find anything. Most of the dresses were out of my price range. I purposefully avoided the big well-known wedding boutiques because I didn't have enough to pay for even half of a dress from there.
One dress looked good on the hanger but when I tried it on, it showed my whole back and stopped just above my knickers line. The saleslady was trying to convince me that I should buy it because I had such a lovely back. I didn't care if I had the best-looking back in the world, I wasn't going to walk down the aisle half-naked in front of my pastor and my in-laws to name a few.
Christina came with me to the next two shops and it was at the third shop overall that I finally found my dress. I was beginning to think I'd never find anything and it was the last one I tried on. Chris and I just looked at each other and nodded. It was the right one, I just knew. Not only was it a great dress, it was the last one on the rack and they weren't ordering in any more so I got a massive discount! It's a little bit big so it will be adjusted in March.
I wanted a dress that I was happy with but I don't see the dress-hunting mission as the big deal some brides make it to be. I wasn't going to sell all of my possessions to buy the perfect (and most expensive) dress and I'm not even sure if I'll keep it after the wedding. I may sell it. It seems a bit pointless to have something I'll never wear again taking up room in my wardrobe and gathering dust.
I'm just glad to have a frock. Duncan said he wouldn't care if I turned up in my pyjamas but I think he would really as my PJs are all pretty old and scabby ;)
If you're married, it'd be great if you could share your dress-hunting experience (or your wife's). Was it a big deal to you or were you just happy to not have to go down the aisle in your birthday suit? Did you go traditional or unusual? Or did you even wear a dress at all (one of my workmates got married in pants)?
As you may have guessed from the title of this post....I have a wedding dress. And I bought it back in late August. That's how slack I've been in relaying news on this blog. Too much to say, too little time to say it.
Before I went wedding dress shopping, I had a fair idea of what I wanted but was open to other possibilities. Making my own would have been far too stressful so I wanted the easy option of just buying something off the rack. I was actually planning to go second-hand if I could.
Some of the dresses in wedding magazines are just hideous. The girls practically look like poodles. Obviously I can't describe the look I'm going for because Duncan reads this blog and I want it to be a surprise. I love surprising people!
Emma came with me to the first shop but I didn't find anything. Most of the dresses were out of my price range. I purposefully avoided the big well-known wedding boutiques because I didn't have enough to pay for even half of a dress from there.
One dress looked good on the hanger but when I tried it on, it showed my whole back and stopped just above my knickers line. The saleslady was trying to convince me that I should buy it because I had such a lovely back. I didn't care if I had the best-looking back in the world, I wasn't going to walk down the aisle half-naked in front of my pastor and my in-laws to name a few.
Christina came with me to the next two shops and it was at the third shop overall that I finally found my dress. I was beginning to think I'd never find anything and it was the last one I tried on. Chris and I just looked at each other and nodded. It was the right one, I just knew. Not only was it a great dress, it was the last one on the rack and they weren't ordering in any more so I got a massive discount! It's a little bit big so it will be adjusted in March.
I wanted a dress that I was happy with but I don't see the dress-hunting mission as the big deal some brides make it to be. I wasn't going to sell all of my possessions to buy the perfect (and most expensive) dress and I'm not even sure if I'll keep it after the wedding. I may sell it. It seems a bit pointless to have something I'll never wear again taking up room in my wardrobe and gathering dust.
I'm just glad to have a frock. Duncan said he wouldn't care if I turned up in my pyjamas but I think he would really as my PJs are all pretty old and scabby ;)
If you're married, it'd be great if you could share your dress-hunting experience (or your wife's). Was it a big deal to you or were you just happy to not have to go down the aisle in your birthday suit? Did you go traditional or unusual? Or did you even wear a dress at all (one of my workmates got married in pants)?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Photographer
Does anyone know of any good wedding photographers?
I fear we've left it a little late to be contacting photographers as a couple we liked and contacted (Narelle Watson and Third Eye Photography) are already booked. I've learnt you need to book EARLY. We're still waiting to hear back from a couple more but I was just wondering if anyone has any recommendations.
I really like good photography. It's the evidence of the wedding day and everything will be such a whirlwind it'd be nice to have good photos to remember it by. I especially love 'natural' shots where people are caught off guard rather than posing in some ridiculously awkward position.
Having said that, we don't want to pay huge amounts of money either. And we'd like to be able to have the rights to all of the photos and have a CD of them to print off.
Any suggestions?
I fear we've left it a little late to be contacting photographers as a couple we liked and contacted (Narelle Watson and Third Eye Photography) are already booked. I've learnt you need to book EARLY. We're still waiting to hear back from a couple more but I was just wondering if anyone has any recommendations.
I really like good photography. It's the evidence of the wedding day and everything will be such a whirlwind it'd be nice to have good photos to remember it by. I especially love 'natural' shots where people are caught off guard rather than posing in some ridiculously awkward position.
Having said that, we don't want to pay huge amounts of money either. And we'd like to be able to have the rights to all of the photos and have a CD of them to print off.
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: My Right Hand Women
Yesterday, I took the day off work and went bridesmaid dress shopping with my four bridesmaids. Since they were all in Perth at the same time, we had to grab the chance to go (will blog about the engagement party and post photos later ;) ).
Choosing the bridal party is a very important part of planning a wedding. These are the people who are going to be beside you on the big day, to support, encourage and help out practically. Therefore, choosing people who are considerate, available, helpful, organised and unselfish is essential in my opinion.
I've heard some horror stories about bridesmaid-zillas who have tried to steal the attention away from the bride and groom and make the wedding all about THEM. These shallow creatures have complained about the dress, been unavailable to help and some have pulled out at the last minute without giving an explanation.
When Emma was making plans for her wedding, I didn't want to make things even more stressful for her than they already were. This included not complaining about my bridesmaid's dress. I loved my dress, Emma has good taste and even if she chose something that wasn't great, it's not my right to whinge. Bridesmaid dresses can always be sold later.
I think it's also important to realise that the bridal party are responsible for organising the hens and bucks nights and you need to be able to trust them. Neither Duncan or I wanted anyone who was going to do stuff to us that was downright inappropriate (ie. strippers). There's fun and then there's stuff that's just wrong. The bride and groom should have a good time and not be miserable and humiliated. Someone I know (who's a Christian) mentioned once that he had a non Christian friend as his best man and this guy hired a stripper for the bucks night. The groom to be ended up walking out of his own bucks party so as to not dishonour God or his future wife.
Luckily, my girls aren't like that...obviously, that's why I chose them. They are all friends from high school - Rhianon, Emma (who I used to live with and was a bridesmaid for), Christina and Rianna. They aren't my oldest friends but the ones I have remained closest with for a long period of time. I have fond memories of high school days with these girls and they played a pretty big part in introducing me to Christ. Also, the fact that they are friends with each other and will have no problem planning stuff together is an added bonus.
Duncan is having four groomsmen as well - Jamin (a friend of his he knows from camps), Clayton (his bro), Simon (his cousin) and Craig (a mate of ours from church). Well before we got engaged, we were talking about bridal parties and it turned out we both wanted four attendants and had it planned for a long time. Funny how things work out.
Four is the maximum number of bridemaids I would have. Otherwise it's just too hard getting them all together at one time. Some of my single friends say they want eight or more bridesmaids if they get married...crazy! And we decided against flowergirls etc because neither of us have nieces or nephews and it gets too hard with kids as well. I don't want some little kid having a tantrum in the middle of the ceremony! My mum had my cousin as her flowergirl. She was four at the time (she's 38 now!) and she had a tantrum, although luckily it wasn't just before she was to go down the aisle!
Some people have their pets involved in the ceremony and I've been asked if I was going to have Ebony there. Not likely...I can't imagine her doing as she's told ;)
Now, it's over to you. What would you look for when choosing a bridal party? If you're married, tell me about your experiences. Were your bridal party a hindrance or a help? (you can remain anonymous if you're afraid they might somehow find and read this....)
Choosing the bridal party is a very important part of planning a wedding. These are the people who are going to be beside you on the big day, to support, encourage and help out practically. Therefore, choosing people who are considerate, available, helpful, organised and unselfish is essential in my opinion.
I've heard some horror stories about bridesmaid-zillas who have tried to steal the attention away from the bride and groom and make the wedding all about THEM. These shallow creatures have complained about the dress, been unavailable to help and some have pulled out at the last minute without giving an explanation.
When Emma was making plans for her wedding, I didn't want to make things even more stressful for her than they already were. This included not complaining about my bridesmaid's dress. I loved my dress, Emma has good taste and even if she chose something that wasn't great, it's not my right to whinge. Bridesmaid dresses can always be sold later.
I think it's also important to realise that the bridal party are responsible for organising the hens and bucks nights and you need to be able to trust them. Neither Duncan or I wanted anyone who was going to do stuff to us that was downright inappropriate (ie. strippers). There's fun and then there's stuff that's just wrong. The bride and groom should have a good time and not be miserable and humiliated. Someone I know (who's a Christian) mentioned once that he had a non Christian friend as his best man and this guy hired a stripper for the bucks night. The groom to be ended up walking out of his own bucks party so as to not dishonour God or his future wife.
Luckily, my girls aren't like that...obviously, that's why I chose them. They are all friends from high school - Rhianon, Emma (who I used to live with and was a bridesmaid for), Christina and Rianna. They aren't my oldest friends but the ones I have remained closest with for a long period of time. I have fond memories of high school days with these girls and they played a pretty big part in introducing me to Christ. Also, the fact that they are friends with each other and will have no problem planning stuff together is an added bonus.
Duncan is having four groomsmen as well - Jamin (a friend of his he knows from camps), Clayton (his bro), Simon (his cousin) and Craig (a mate of ours from church). Well before we got engaged, we were talking about bridal parties and it turned out we both wanted four attendants and had it planned for a long time. Funny how things work out.
Four is the maximum number of bridemaids I would have. Otherwise it's just too hard getting them all together at one time. Some of my single friends say they want eight or more bridesmaids if they get married...crazy! And we decided against flowergirls etc because neither of us have nieces or nephews and it gets too hard with kids as well. I don't want some little kid having a tantrum in the middle of the ceremony! My mum had my cousin as her flowergirl. She was four at the time (she's 38 now!) and she had a tantrum, although luckily it wasn't just before she was to go down the aisle!
Some people have their pets involved in the ceremony and I've been asked if I was going to have Ebony there. Not likely...I can't imagine her doing as she's told ;)
I don't think brides or grooms should feel pressure to have anyone in the bridal party who they don't really want. There are stupid traditions that involve the groom having the bride's brother as a groomsmen or the bride having the groom's sister as a bridesmaid. Duncan doesn't have a sister and, even if he did, I wouldn't have her unless we were really close. Likewise he's only met Tim a couple of times. You should have who YOU want in the bridal party. Some brides bow to pressure and include friends who get in a mood with them for not including them originally.
So yesterday we went to the city on a dress hunting mission and have narrowed it down to a few options which will probably have to be ordered in from over east. I'm waiting to hear back about prices, sizes and designs. Finding dresses to suit everyone is a challenge when different body shapes and tastes in clothes come into it but hopefully we can find something that everyone is happy with.
Some brides have a very clear view about what they want their bridesmaids to wear...I'm not one of them. I find it difficult to design clothes in my head so I decided to just go along and see what was in the shops. My main criteria was that the dresses weren't really revealing with high splits and cleavage hanging out everywhere. I just wanted them to feel comfortable.Now, it's over to you. What would you look for when choosing a bridal party? If you're married, tell me about your experiences. Were your bridal party a hindrance or a help? (you can remain anonymous if you're afraid they might somehow find and read this....)
Monday, October 15, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: The Art of Mingling
Our engagement party is looming...it's this Saturday!
Apart from the usual stresses that come with organising a gathering (food, drinks, tables, RSVPs, weather)...I'm also worried about the socialising side of the party. Not about me socialising with our guests but rather how they will socialise with each other.
You see, with any gathering, you are going to have certain 'cliques' of people - family, school friends, work friends, church friends etc. And that's fine. They are going to come along and enjoy catching up with the rest of the people in their particular clique as well as catching up with us. In fact, they probably won't hold it against us if we don't get to talk to them that much during the party because a) we see a lot of them regularly anyway and b) they'll be happy just socialising with their clique.
But then there are a few people coming who don't know anyone, except Duncan or I. Some of my friends only know me, they haven't met Duncan yet and certainly don't know any of my family or other friends. These people include a couple of my uni friends (who don't really know each other), a couple from student housing (who are married to each other) and my housemate, Aimee.
I don't want them to be uncomfortable and end up leaving early because they don't know anyone and nobody else bothers to talk to them. I know how I feel at parties where I only know the host and I'm too shy to go and introduce myself because everyone else knows each other and are having a great old time. I usually go just so I can make the host happy by making an 'appearance' and count down the minutes until I can leave.
I don't want people to feel like that at my party. Sure, I'll introduce them to my friends but I can't MAKE them talk to each other. I've had a word to a few of my friends, asking them if they wouldn't mind including the 'loners' and making them feel welcome. As much as I want to, I won't be able to spend the entire party looking after the lonely people because I do want to at least greet everyone and will be flittering around, looking after the food etc.
Now I want to hear from you. Do you have any advice/experiences you can share on how to get people to 'mingle'? I'm not trying to make everyone 'meet someone new' but I do want everyone to feel comfortable. I realise all I can do is introduce people and that some people are just painfully shy and will find it difficult to strike up conversations with strangers.
How do you go at parties when you don't know anyone except the host? Are you shy or outgoing when it comes to meeting new people?
I'm feeling at the moment that my priorities are people who don't know anyone, people I haven't seen for a long time or aren't from Perth and people I haven't met yet (ie. some of Dunc's family and friends) so I can at least introduce myself. That's not to say, that I don't care about my other guests and I want to talk to them....but I know they'll be happy anyway.
Would you prioritise some of your guests over others?
Apart from the usual stresses that come with organising a gathering (food, drinks, tables, RSVPs, weather)...I'm also worried about the socialising side of the party. Not about me socialising with our guests but rather how they will socialise with each other.
You see, with any gathering, you are going to have certain 'cliques' of people - family, school friends, work friends, church friends etc. And that's fine. They are going to come along and enjoy catching up with the rest of the people in their particular clique as well as catching up with us. In fact, they probably won't hold it against us if we don't get to talk to them that much during the party because a) we see a lot of them regularly anyway and b) they'll be happy just socialising with their clique.
But then there are a few people coming who don't know anyone, except Duncan or I. Some of my friends only know me, they haven't met Duncan yet and certainly don't know any of my family or other friends. These people include a couple of my uni friends (who don't really know each other), a couple from student housing (who are married to each other) and my housemate, Aimee.
I don't want them to be uncomfortable and end up leaving early because they don't know anyone and nobody else bothers to talk to them. I know how I feel at parties where I only know the host and I'm too shy to go and introduce myself because everyone else knows each other and are having a great old time. I usually go just so I can make the host happy by making an 'appearance' and count down the minutes until I can leave.
I don't want people to feel like that at my party. Sure, I'll introduce them to my friends but I can't MAKE them talk to each other. I've had a word to a few of my friends, asking them if they wouldn't mind including the 'loners' and making them feel welcome. As much as I want to, I won't be able to spend the entire party looking after the lonely people because I do want to at least greet everyone and will be flittering around, looking after the food etc.
Now I want to hear from you. Do you have any advice/experiences you can share on how to get people to 'mingle'? I'm not trying to make everyone 'meet someone new' but I do want everyone to feel comfortable. I realise all I can do is introduce people and that some people are just painfully shy and will find it difficult to strike up conversations with strangers.
How do you go at parties when you don't know anyone except the host? Are you shy or outgoing when it comes to meeting new people?
I'm feeling at the moment that my priorities are people who don't know anyone, people I haven't seen for a long time or aren't from Perth and people I haven't met yet (ie. some of Dunc's family and friends) so I can at least introduce myself. That's not to say, that I don't care about my other guests and I want to talk to them....but I know they'll be happy anyway.
Would you prioritise some of your guests over others?
Friday, October 05, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Loaves and Fishes
You may be thinking: what's with the weird title? This post is actually about our engagement party.
We've been engaged for nearly three months but have been too busy/slack to get around to organising one. I think I've mentioned before that Duncan has a HUGE extended family. They're very close and keep in touch with great aunts, third cousins etc whereas I wouldn't have a clue who those people are in my family. So we're inviting EVERYONE to our engagement party and I think we'll need a miracle with loaves and fishes to be able to feed all these people.
Because neither of us have a house large enough to cater for the multitudes, we've decided an outdoor picnic is a goer (location will remain a mystery until after the date due to the public nature of this blog) :). Then afterwards I've convinced Duncan to go out and have a dance with any of our guests who are willing ;).
Much of my life lately has revolved around stamps, envelopes and address books, ringing Duncan to find out his family's names and addresses. I made the invitations on my computer and printed a huge batch but it wasn't enough so my printer's been cranking recently. I think we've invited about 200 people! Good grief, I wonder if people at our picnic location will think we're weird!
So far we've had 30-something people RSVP to say they're coming and a few can't come but the deadline is a week away so they've still got time. If you've read this post I did last year, you will know how I feel about people who don't RSVP.
I'm both excited and nervous about the party at the same time. It's not just about the organisation of the food but I feel quite overwhelmed by crowds when I'm one of the reasons for the party. It's different if it's a rock concert or something but the thought of all these people rocking up partly because of me, I'm just like "aaaagh!" Despite the fact that people might think I'm loud and 'out there' and that I've done acting, my problems with stress and the thought of trying to talk to everyone is a bit daunting.
But I'm sure God is in control and everything will be fine!
We've been engaged for nearly three months but have been too busy/slack to get around to organising one. I think I've mentioned before that Duncan has a HUGE extended family. They're very close and keep in touch with great aunts, third cousins etc whereas I wouldn't have a clue who those people are in my family. So we're inviting EVERYONE to our engagement party and I think we'll need a miracle with loaves and fishes to be able to feed all these people.
Because neither of us have a house large enough to cater for the multitudes, we've decided an outdoor picnic is a goer (location will remain a mystery until after the date due to the public nature of this blog) :). Then afterwards I've convinced Duncan to go out and have a dance with any of our guests who are willing ;).
Much of my life lately has revolved around stamps, envelopes and address books, ringing Duncan to find out his family's names and addresses. I made the invitations on my computer and printed a huge batch but it wasn't enough so my printer's been cranking recently. I think we've invited about 200 people! Good grief, I wonder if people at our picnic location will think we're weird!
So far we've had 30-something people RSVP to say they're coming and a few can't come but the deadline is a week away so they've still got time. If you've read this post I did last year, you will know how I feel about people who don't RSVP.
I'm both excited and nervous about the party at the same time. It's not just about the organisation of the food but I feel quite overwhelmed by crowds when I'm one of the reasons for the party. It's different if it's a rock concert or something but the thought of all these people rocking up partly because of me, I'm just like "aaaagh!" Despite the fact that people might think I'm loud and 'out there' and that I've done acting, my problems with stress and the thought of trying to talk to everyone is a bit daunting.
But I'm sure God is in control and everything will be fine!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Reception Venue Dramas
I blogged a few weeks back that all was well in the reception venue department. Well, a few weeks ago, Duncan and I got some bad news.
One of the reasons we chose our venue was that they were not one of those greedy mongrels that make you pay to set the room up the day before.
Then I got a call from my mum saying they had suddenly brought in this new fee, charging us an extra $450 (approx.) to hire the room for half a day the day before to set up. They had not mentioned this fee when I first checked the room out and when we tentatively booked it. It was not mentioned on any of the leaflets we were given. They had just suddenly decided to screw us over for more money.
To say I was angry was an understatement. I hate being ripped off and taken for a ride. I don't care if they'd only decided to charge us an extra $20 - it's not the amount, it's the principle of the thing. I'm not one of those types who'll just lie down and pay the extra money.
Dunc and I drove around madly a few Saturdays ago looking for an alternative venue (which we didn't find).
Luckily I have a very sweet talking mother who rang them up and convinced them to drop the fee. She can charm the birds out of the trees when she wants.
So all is good again, we can keep the 12th April as our wedding date and our reception place has avoided a name and shame on my very public blog haha.
We also ended up going with WA Spit Roast as our caterer. Their prices are good and they have been recommended to us by two other people who have used them for weddings. We chose our menu online - easy!
If you're planning a wedding - beware! A lot of companies will just hear the word 'wedding' and try and rip you off!
One of the reasons we chose our venue was that they were not one of those greedy mongrels that make you pay to set the room up the day before.
Then I got a call from my mum saying they had suddenly brought in this new fee, charging us an extra $450 (approx.) to hire the room for half a day the day before to set up. They had not mentioned this fee when I first checked the room out and when we tentatively booked it. It was not mentioned on any of the leaflets we were given. They had just suddenly decided to screw us over for more money.
To say I was angry was an understatement. I hate being ripped off and taken for a ride. I don't care if they'd only decided to charge us an extra $20 - it's not the amount, it's the principle of the thing. I'm not one of those types who'll just lie down and pay the extra money.
Dunc and I drove around madly a few Saturdays ago looking for an alternative venue (which we didn't find).
Luckily I have a very sweet talking mother who rang them up and convinced them to drop the fee. She can charm the birds out of the trees when she wants.
So all is good again, we can keep the 12th April as our wedding date and our reception place has avoided a name and shame on my very public blog haha.
We also ended up going with WA Spit Roast as our caterer. Their prices are good and they have been recommended to us by two other people who have used them for weddings. We chose our menu online - easy!
If you're planning a wedding - beware! A lot of companies will just hear the word 'wedding' and try and rip you off!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: A Date and a Venue...FINALLY!
The title of this post pretty much gives away why I'm so relieved right now.
FINALLY we have a reception venue and therefore a date!
The big day will be Saturday 12th April 2008 and the venue we have chosen is north of the river (not saying any more than that in case we get gatecrashers).
It's a big room and we can decorate it ourselves and have our own caterers.
I'm very glad the reception venue quest is over. I think Duncan's more relieved than me. Just about every time we spoke, I'd tell him my latest plan of action, combing Perth's suburbs for the right place. And notice I said right place, not perfect place. It just had to meet the following criteria:
FINALLY we have a reception venue and therefore a date!
The big day will be Saturday 12th April 2008 and the venue we have chosen is north of the river (not saying any more than that in case we get gatecrashers).
It's a big room and we can decorate it ourselves and have our own caterers.
I'm very glad the reception venue quest is over. I think Duncan's more relieved than me. Just about every time we spoke, I'd tell him my latest plan of action, combing Perth's suburbs for the right place. And notice I said right place, not perfect place. It just had to meet the following criteria:
- Available on our desired date
- Reasonable cost
- Allows us to have our own caterers
- Seats 180-200 people comfortably
We looked at so many places it's not funny. Big expensive specialised reception/function centres were immediately ruled out purely on cost. A lot of other places we ruled out just by looking at their websites. And a lot of other places didn't have websites so we had to call them. Some weren't answering their phones so we left messages but our calls weren't returned (how rude). A lot of the yacht clubs, surf lifesaving clubs and golf clubs required you to become a member or were already booked. There was no way I was paying a membership fee to go yachting with random men....no thanks! ;)
We also found that a lot of the bowling clubs wouldn't let us have the venue all to ourselves. They were going to let the regular members into the club while the reception was on and they would have to keep coming into our area to use the toilets. Other places insisted that we could pack more people into the place even though it was obviously too small. Hmmm yeah our guests would love that...sitting on each other's knees and being packed in like sheep on a truck!
Other places sounded reasonable until they mentioned that we could only have access to the place a couple of hours before the reception was due to start. How on earth we were meant to decorate and set up when we and all our guests would be getting ready for the wedding, I don't know. When I mentioned that we would need the room from Friday morning onwards to decorate, they slapped a big hourly fee on top of that. I was only talking to them on the phone but I could see the dollar signs flashing in their eyes.
The place we decided on comfortably seats 300 people, has a dance floor and even a stage. Dance floor was non negotiable ;) And we get it from Friday morning to the early hours of Sunday morning for a flat fee.
If you're getting married, then maybe you might learn from our experience. Finding a reception venue was not the easy process we thought it'd be. But I'm glad it's done :)
More soon.......
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: Reception Venues
He's proposed, I've accepted and now the wedding planning begins. This is my new series that you're sure to read lots of as the countdown begins until the BIG DAY!
Obviously I've never been married before and neither has Dunc so it often feels like we're stumbling along in the dark when it comes to planning our wedding. I'm very grateful that I was living with Emma when she was engaged so I got observe the process up close but that's nothing compared to doing it yourself. That's why we need YOU! If you're married (particularly if you've been married in the last few years) or even if you've been to a few weddings recently and really admired the reception venue, food, photographer, wedding dress, cake etc then I'd really like to hear your advice. Often word of mouth is a powerful influence when it comes to wedding planning.
When it comes to planning our wedding, I want to be super organised (well as organised as I can be). Since I don't handle stress very well, it'd be good to have as many of the things out of the way as soon as possible. I don't want to get to two months before the wedding and we still don't have a photographer.
Dunc and I have agreed that we want a simple wedding. We don't want to spend truckloads of money to make the day special. What will make it special is being surrounded by those we love. Dunc has a big extended family and mine is small so we're looking at a guest list of around 150-200 people. Painful attempts to cut loved ones off the list didn't work so we're looking at going el cheapo for the reception.
As you can tell by the title of the post, finding a reception venue is our top priority at the moment. That's because we're planning on getting married in Perth and April is a popular month so many venues are booked well in advance. Because of our large guest list, we need a venue that will hold at least 200 people. And we need it to be fairly cheap. None of this $100/head business. If we did that, then we'd be looking at paying $15,000-$20,000 just to feed people at the reception. We don't have that kind of money and neither do our parents who are graciously helping us out. I don't want to exclude a friend just because I can't afford to feed them. I'd rather go cheaper and have everyone.
So what we're hoping to do is hire a yacht club, surf lifesaving club or similar venue and have caterers. The wedding will be held in the afternoon and then have an afternoon tea/cocktail reception which will finish earlier than most receptions. Some potential caterers that have already been recommended to us are:
Obviously I've never been married before and neither has Dunc so it often feels like we're stumbling along in the dark when it comes to planning our wedding. I'm very grateful that I was living with Emma when she was engaged so I got observe the process up close but that's nothing compared to doing it yourself. That's why we need YOU! If you're married (particularly if you've been married in the last few years) or even if you've been to a few weddings recently and really admired the reception venue, food, photographer, wedding dress, cake etc then I'd really like to hear your advice. Often word of mouth is a powerful influence when it comes to wedding planning.
When it comes to planning our wedding, I want to be super organised (well as organised as I can be). Since I don't handle stress very well, it'd be good to have as many of the things out of the way as soon as possible. I don't want to get to two months before the wedding and we still don't have a photographer.
Dunc and I have agreed that we want a simple wedding. We don't want to spend truckloads of money to make the day special. What will make it special is being surrounded by those we love. Dunc has a big extended family and mine is small so we're looking at a guest list of around 150-200 people. Painful attempts to cut loved ones off the list didn't work so we're looking at going el cheapo for the reception.
As you can tell by the title of the post, finding a reception venue is our top priority at the moment. That's because we're planning on getting married in Perth and April is a popular month so many venues are booked well in advance. Because of our large guest list, we need a venue that will hold at least 200 people. And we need it to be fairly cheap. None of this $100/head business. If we did that, then we'd be looking at paying $15,000-$20,000 just to feed people at the reception. We don't have that kind of money and neither do our parents who are graciously helping us out. I don't want to exclude a friend just because I can't afford to feed them. I'd rather go cheaper and have everyone.
So what we're hoping to do is hire a yacht club, surf lifesaving club or similar venue and have caterers. The wedding will be held in the afternoon and then have an afternoon tea/cocktail reception which will finish earlier than most receptions. Some potential caterers that have already been recommended to us are:
But we still don't have any recommendations for venues so if anyone has any suggestions for those and for additional catering companies, please leave a comment.
The sooner we get a reception venue, the sooner we can announce our wedding date to everyone!
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