Fast Away 2018 Passes

I've revived the blog...for now.

I thought it fitting to end 2018 with a post.

This year has simply flown by. I know that is a cliche, but it's true. I'm struggling to rank 2018. Has it been good or bad...or just ordinary? I think all of the above.

2018 was the year I returned to the stage after a four year absence. We rehearsed from mid June until the first show in late October. At first, it was one rehearsal per week, then two as things cranked up. My initial disappointment and hurt over getting a small role turned out to be a great blessing. Even though I had a smallish part, I got on famously with the other cast members I had my scenes with, and I was relieved to have NOT got the part I'd so desperately wanted at the beginning. God really does know what is best for us.

My other highlights were doing Zumba each week while Flynn was at daycare, AND...drum roll.....getting to finally meet Meredith and Wendy. We had a lovely lunch together at Kings Park in Perth in November. I really miss the old days of blogging, when we all blogged regularly and had a really encouraging little community.

Another triumph was finally progressing with our garden. We've had no water supply to the garden since we moved here in December 2010, but FINALLY we have lawn, reticulation, some vegies in the garden...and a HOSE!

 

Rory has finished Pre-Primary - his first year of full-time school - and did tremendously. He is growing in confidence, loves school work, and can read simple sentences.

There were lows. One was our failed adoption (and therefore rehoming) of Shadow. Another was my diagnosis of PMDD. It all started in March and resulted in serious mood swings (white hot anger or floods of tears) and searing headaches which left me bedridden. The doctor has tried to help me, but there seems to be little to be done. 2019 will be a year of further investigation as I can't go on like this each month.

Another bitter disappointment was that I seem to be getting nowhere in my writing career. I've wanted to be a writer since I was seven years old, and now I'm seriously questioning if I have what it takes. My novel has been knocked back repeatedly and I haven't done any good in the short story competitions I've entered. The only option left seems to be self-publishing, but that will cost me and I'm not gifted at marketing my own work. The whole saga has left me quite depressed at times.

I've had several dear friends move further away from me this year. One from Perth to Broome, one from Perth to Victoria, one from the farm here to travelling around Australia, one from Albany to Alice Springs, and another is leaving Perth to move to Sydney in January. Even though I don't get to see them all the time, it's harder when they're even further away. Happy for them, sad for me.

There have also been some strained local relationships. I won't go into it, but Duncan has been having similar difficulties with the same people. It just shows that some people have issues and won't like you whatever you do.

As far as 2019 goes, our weekly routine looks like it will remain much the same - one child at full-time school, one child at home, husband working full-time and me doing a little bit of casual admin work from home. Flynn will go to daycare on Tuesdays and I'll have six precious hours to myself. It's nice to have a bit of stability.

To be honest, I haven't missed blogging. I really needed and enjoyed the break. I'll pop in from time to time, with a book review here or an opinion there. Now that Flynn is going to sleep by himself in the evenings, I may have a bit more time to write...maybe.

May 2019 be great, and may you know the one who loves us all, despite who we are, and died for you and rose again....Jesus.

Get On Your Soapbox #32

"What sort of book are you writing?......Football!  Really? You look like you'd write romance novels or children's books."

"Why are you involved with the theatrical society?.....You go on stage? Really? You seem like such a shy, quiet person. I could never pictured you doing that. You ARE a shy person, aren't you? No, really, aren't you?"

Can we just stop the stereotyping, folks? I've really had a gutful. It's one of the downsides of living in a small town.

Yes, we all make presumptions about people based on their appearance. But when you're proved to be wrong about that person, don't tell them what your first impression of them was. Particularly if it was negative (saying the first time you saw me, you thought I was a complete utter legend is allowed).

If someone is my friend now, I don't need to know that they thought I looked like a useless droob the first time they met me. That's not helpful in any way. It's only going to make me paranoid that everyone who meets me will think I'm a useless droob.

Keep your thoughts and revelations to yourself. If you discover someone who is morbidly obese is actually a very competent tennis player, don't tell them, "Ohhh you're really good. I thought you'd be too fat to run."

Acting is acting. You shouldn't be surprised that quiet people can be brilliant on stage. Loud people don't necessarily make the best actors. I know some very loud people, but they quake in their boots at the thought of doing theatre.

Some people need a brain to mouth filter...desperately.

Meeting Audrey II

I went to a production of Little Shop of Horrors in Albany recently. At the end of the show, there was an opportunity to have your photo taken with Audrey II, the talking, human-eating plant.

Who could resist?

Marriage 101: When Art Becomes Life

It's been a long time since I updated this series.

Recent happenings in my local town have prompted me to write this post.  A few weeks ago, I was considering auditioning for the latest play.  As I read through the script at home, I mentioned to Duncan that the two female parts to which I would be suited both involved romantic overtures, including stroking the face of a much older man, or wearing 'suggestive' outfits.  Duncan immediately told me he would feel very uncomfortable if I were to play one of those roles, even if it is 'only acting'.  I respected his wishes and did not audition.

Now I have found out that the two people who played the leading roles in last year's pantomime went on to have an affair!  The twist is that although he is single, she is a married mother, who I'm guessing is probably about fifteen years older than him.  The result is the ending of a marriage, children in a broken home, a devastated husband, a school community in conflict.  Both parties have left town....and aren't even together.  So, was it worth it?

This was a huge wake-up call for me.  Duncan was right to have reservations, even before we heard this scandal.  I might think it's 'only acting', but I have to be careful.  After all, how many Hollywood couples got together after playing on-screen lovers?  A lot!

This isn't just about acting.  I'm guessing most people reading this aren't involved in amateur theatre, but a heck of a lot are married or in relationships.  We need to be careful about how we spend our time with people of the opposite sex who are not our spouse.  I'm not saying don't have friends of the opposite sex, but be wise.  If you're single, respect these boundaries.

It's not worth throwing away your marriage for.

Related posts:
Lesson 9 from Sarah's School of Dating
From Head to Hand: Being a Christian Writer (just as relevant to being a Christian actor)

12 Things You've Never Done

Rodney has created a list of 12 unusual things he's done or had happen to him in his life that most of his readers wouldn't have (at least not all 12).  Read it here on his blog.

This is my list.  I haven't done as many exciting things as Rodney has, but I'm guessing no-one reading this post has done all of them.  Let me know if you've had any of these experiences.

1.  Had a Transient Ischaemic Attack at 19
I was in my third year of uni when I woke during the night with agonising pain in my head.  Worse than a migraine, my head hurt just touching the pillow and it felt like my skull was going to blow apart.  I was so dizzy and I lost feeling in the right side of my face and down my right arm.  I was left with a pins and needles sensation in my face and arm for nearly a week afterwards.  After numerous tests and doctor's visits (including a CT scan to check for a brain tumour), ruled out a number of other possible diagnoses, the doctor decided it must have been a TIA.  My family on my dad's side has a history of stroke; my dad has had many TIAs.  I've never had one since, but I'm mindful that I need to reduce stress as much as possible and get plenty of sleep (haha why did I have kids?).

2.  Played a black cat, a farmer's wife from 1914,  and an old crone with a bucket on her head in some of the plays I've been in.
I'm willing to bet some people reading this have been on stage....but I doubt any would have played these characters.

3. Played tennis against Casey Dellacqua. 
It was 1996. She was 11, I was 13, and she was part of a group of state-level juniors who came down to Albany to play some of the local kids.  We thought we were to be playing against ordinary kids like us.  Talk about a mismatch.

Image from here

4.  Been hospitalised for postnatal depression...twice
Related posts:
Where I Am and Where I've Been
It's Happened Again

5.  Had two short stories published in creative writing magazines
My first was in Brillig (a literary journal of prose and poetry for teenagers, which existed between 1995 and 2000) when I was in Year 10 (1998).  The second was in Sitelines when I was in my first year of uni (2001)....unfortunately the older editions aren't online anymore.  I want to try to get some more published. 

6.  Been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis
I never thought I'd get arthritis.  Thankfully, I'm feeling pretty good at the moment.
Related posts:
Life with AS 

7.  Eaten crocodile
Our local butcher stocked some for a while.  It was very expensive, but delicious.  It tastes like a cross between chicken and fish.

8.  Had my photo taken with a giraffe
It was when I was doing a play at the Perth Zoo in 2003.  I wish I had a copy of the photo.  You'll just have to take my word for it.

9.  Made a chicken hat
I've made this hat several times...once for an Easter hat parade when I was in primary school, once for a friend's mad hatter themed birthday, and once for a hat competition at our local agricultural show.
Related posts:
Show Business

10.  Made a watermelon bra
Another show competition creation
Related posts:
There Are No People Like Show People

11.  Seen The Doctor Blake Mysteries being filmed
It was in Williamstown, while we were on holidays in Melbourne in 2012.
Related posts:
Williamstown

12.  Written a novel about Aussie Rules football
The big one!  Still working towards publication.

The Fifth Member of The Seekers

I went to see the musical Georgy Girl in Perth with my dear friend Emma back in July for our annual childless and husbandless musical theatre date.  It's a biographical story of The Seekers rise to fame and their successful career.  Of course, it features all of their best-loved songs.

Here am I with their cardboard cutouts:

First the Flu, Then Gastro

Rory and I came down with gastro in the early hours of Monday morning. Duncan is still well and stayed home from work to hold the fort yesterday. He must have a stomach of iron as he never gets gastro. Flynn still seems to be well, although his last nappy was so foul, I had to open the windows in his room to air it out. I'm hoping it's not the start of something.

I've been madly clearing my calendar for the next few days. I'm supposed to be doing Front of House for a play in town on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights, but I've had to let the rest of the committee know I won't be in tomorrow. I'm sure a cast with gastro is just what they need....not!

Please, Lord, no other ailments for a while.

2015: The Year of Limitations

I'm heading into 2016 much the same way I've been moving throughout 2015....straining.

It has been a challenging year. My physical health had suffered. The pregnancy with Flynn was just all round harder than it was with Rory. I was sicker, I was tireder (read: exhausted), my body was depleted of vital nutrients. Flynn just seemed to suck everything out of me, and I feel like all I have left is a withered shell. Next year I'll need to put in the hard yards at the physio if my abdominal diastasis has any chance of repair. I know it's normal for the body to not be the same after multiple pregnancies, but I've lost a lot of self-confidence since people have been commenting on it.

My respite this year has been my afternoon naps with Rory. Is it sad that these have been the highlight of my day? Around the time of his second birthday, Rory decided he was going to drop his afternoon sleep. I thought, Not on your life. So, I started having afternoon naps with him in my bed. He loved this and we'd both sleep for about two hours. It was the only way I could get through the day and face 'arsenic hour'.  I was criticised by a few people for this who thought he should learn to sleep alone. But what was initially bothersome became a blessing. It was a wonderful time cuddling with my little boy. I'm a bit sorry it has now come to an end, and he's gone back to sleeping by himself in the afternoons in his new big boy bed.

Not only has my physical health taken a battering, but so has my mind. The two are connected and it's horrid what sleep deprivation can do. Most days, my mind feels like a scrambled egg. I'll remember someone's birthday, but can't remember why I opened the fridge door. People joke about mothers being forgetful, but it just shows why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture during war time. Due to my postnatal suffering, Duncan and I have had to make some hard decisions about family planning. This has caused me more grief than I ever thought it would.

I'm not the only one who has found this year difficult. I know of marriages that have ended and, being pregnant and emotional, this has affected me quite deeply. My cousin and her husband of 18 years split in April (they have two children, aged 14 and 12). The director of the two plays I was in last year also had her marriage end and she moved to Perth. This meant the sequel to the World War 1 commemorative play I was in last year was in jeopardy, but a friend who was in last year's cast put her hand up to direct and the show went on.

This year I was limited theatrically. When the dates for the next play were announced, I knew I'd have to decline reprising my role (it was a month after Flynn was due).  It was flattering that they wanted me so badly they found a way for me to be in it. My role was pre-filmed and shown on a giant screen. So, I was in it, but not in it.  I was actually in the Mother Baby Unit for the show's entire run.

There were other disappointments - the Eagles losing the Grand Final, my book being rejected four times so far, the death of my hen, Gloria.

It was not all bad. I got my Flynn.

Still, I think 2016 will be a year of recovery.

Time Of My Life

I had a great time at Dirty Dancing: The Musical back on the 9th August with my dear friend and former housemate, Emma.  It has become an annual tradition that we go and see a musical together.  Kid-free time and no men whinging that they're bored.....woohoo!

2014: The Year That Was

I thought it was right to end the year with a 'pondering' post...

2014 reminded me strongly of 2011.  The craziness of 2010 with my Nan's illness (and death in early 2011), the move, and plenty of other stresses kind of melted into a 2011 which was really a 'year of recovery'.  It was a year of finding our feet in a new place after so much turmoil the year before.  2014 was much the same.  After a 2013 which was the worst year of my life, I was grateful for more stability, predictability and steady plodding this year.

So many people tried to scare me with stories about the horrors of having a toddler.  Well, I'd just like to say that having a child who can walk brought me so much joy this year.  Do you know how much easier it is to get around NOT having to carry the child, plus half of the house to go the shops?  He can walk to the car and even carry some of his own things.  Hooray!  He can enjoy the park, the beach, the town pool, and the farm much more because he can walk.  And I enjoy NOT having to soak his pants for days because he's been crawling through the dirt.  It has been a great year watching my bubba grow into a little boy.  He loves 'helping' and we've got into much more of a steady routine.  He likes knowing what's going to happen next, but he's also flexible (much like me).  While there have been tantrums (oh, the tantrums), he's become increasingly fussy and suspicious when it comes to food (which has been frustrating), on the whole, looking after him has become much easier.

One of the highlights for me this year was a return to the stage after more than 10 years.  Being a part of two plays and receiving such great feedback has been incredible.

There have been sadnesses and struggles.  Rory's allergy diagnosis and having to rehome Ebony brought me such grief.  While I have questioned myself whether it was right to mourn the absence of a pet so much, I still feel like I'm far from over it.

I've been suffering from consistent fatigue for much of this year.  It all started in February when I was weaning Rory - my weight went haywire, my arthritis returned with a vengeance (and then went into remission again).  There are days when I REALLY struggle to get out of bed and crash as soon as Rory naps.  I still don't know how I managed to do the plays, it must have been LOTS of caffeine, family support and afternoon naps.  At times, I was in despair about the house because cleaning was the last thing I felt like doing.  In the past month we've had the incredible blessing of the provision of a cleaner to help me out (she also cleans for two of the other ladies on the farm).  2015 will involve further investigation into what is causing this tiredness.  I'm still in a quandary about whether to persist with doctors or naturopaths as neither have really helped much.

To all readers of this blog, I wish you more than a happy new year.  I want more than happiness for you.  I want you to know the true and living God, who is the only solid rock.

Right, I'm going to have a nap now if I'm going to have any chance of staying up until midnight.

Talkin' Irish

This is how I learnt my Irish accent for the play:



It's amazing what you can find on YouTube.

My Costume

The play is over.  I'm both relieved and saddened about this. Relieved because at last I get to spend every night at home and get some more sleep. Saddened because it was an incredible experience, honouring the brave men and women from the town where I live who went to serve in World War I one hundred years ago, and also working with such a fantastic cast and crew.

My character was Irish so I had to master the accent. It was tricky but I got there. I even had people asking me if I was really Irish afterwards which was a nice compliment.

No more plays for a while. It will be sorely tempting to audition for more (I can see why they call it the 'acting bug'), but it's not fair on Duncan, Rory or my parents.

Bloggy Break Time Again

I have a crazy, crazy week coming up next week, so it will be wise to take a bloggy break, me thinks.

I'll be out four weeknights out of five.  Next Tuesday I have the dress rehearsal for my next play, then the first three shows on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

Please pray that I get through the week alive.

Rejoicing With Those Who Rejoice

I have never really understood why so many women would rather watch their worst enemy succeed than their closest friend.  Why do we often react so badly when our nearest and dearest get something we desperately want for ourselves?  A man, a baby, a job, a role, a place on a sporting team...

Rejoicing with the rejoicing can often be harder than mourning with the mourning.

But it is essential to being a good friend.

I remember when I got my Year 12 TEE results.  I got 94 (the highest possible score is 99.95).  A close friend who had failed was one of the happiest for me.  Looking back, that must have been so difficult for her, and I will never forget her graciousness and support.

Sadly, I have not always been the greatest at congratulating others who have succeeded or acquired things I want for myself.  I've been jealous.  I've avoided them in person.  I've moped and moaned about my own circumstances in their presence, taking the spotlight off them.  I haven't 'liked' their posts on Facebook because I'm so jealous.  Why should they have it when I can't?  I have been a poor excuse for a friend at times, that's for sure.

I found it hard to watch friends marry when I was single.  Even now, I struggle with seeing posts about friends' babies who are younger than Rory, but more advanced than him.  There are babies six months younger than him who walked before him and talk better than him now.  I struggled seeing posts from mums with perfect sleeping babies when I was in the midst of sleep deprivation and exhaustion last year when Rory was waking every hour during the night.  I thought it so unfair that some mums could just go out and get on with their lives as if they never had a baby when I was cut down with postnatal depression.  Why did they get it so easy and I get it so hard?

I've also been on the receiving end of jealous backlash.  I remember when I was working at Curtin, I got a permanent position that a colleague had also been after.  She was nasty to me for weeks afterward (and this woman was more than twice my age - when do women grow up, seriously?), then she apologised, then kept the cattiness going *sigh*.

In the latest play I'm in, I've become aware that my part was coveted by several other cast members.  It does make me feel very uncomfortable around them and stops me enjoying myself as much.  It's horrible with people having daggers for you.  I've noticed the competitiveness and bitchiness is especially prevalent in the arts.  It makes me want to scream, "Here, if you want it so badly, have it.", but then I think, No, I worked hard for this.  If they were truly my friends they'd support me and suck it up.

I'm well aware that every time I post pictures of my wedding or of Rory on Facebook, there are people I consider friends who desperately want that for themselves.  I don't want to rub my happiness in my face, yet I don't want to hide all my blessings away either, pretending they aren't really blessings.  Somehow we need to find that balance.

The challenge of true friendship: to smile at, hug and congratulate your friend while you are crying on the inside.

Related posts: 
Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back
Get On Your Soapbox #23
The Envy of Eve
Grieving and Coveting

The Play

My character, Mia.  Muahaha do you like my transformation?

Here are some more photos courtesy of the director and a sneaky friend of mine:

Knackered

The play's over and it was a big success!

I'll be back with those promised photos, a detailed account, and lots of (hopefully) juicy posts after I take another blogging hiatus.

I'm off to Albany with Rory for a few days R&R.

See you next week when, God willing, I'm feeling a little more with-it and a little less exhausted.

Break a Leg

Tonight was the opening night of the play I'm in.  I think it went quite well and the audience seemed to enjoy it, which is the main thing.

Eeek! It was such fun and such a buzz.

Tomorrow night I have friends from Albany and the farm coming to see it.

One show down...three to go.

Stay tuned for pics next week...

Weekend Away

Tomorrow Duncan and I are off to Denmark for a childfree weekend.  CAN YOU DETECT THE EXCITEMENT IN MY VOICE JUST A LITTLE BIT?  It's our first one since the little man was born.

Kudos to my mum and dad for having Rory.  I'm guessing they'll be a lot tireder than us come Monday morning.

What else has been happening here lately?

I'm four chapters away from finishing the second edit of my book.  Then it's off to a literary agent.  I'm pretty happy with it now...I think.

Duncan had to put my hen Clementine down last week.  I think she had Marek's Disease and she wasn't improving.  I hate having to make awful decisions like that.

The play I'm in is just over a month away.  I've almost learnt my lines, although I still worry I'm going to forget them on the night and look like a real doofus.  I've dyed my hair darker in preparation to play my character, who is very different to me.  The transformation will also involve piercings and tattoos...oooohhh!

It's time for another bloggy break.  The blogosphere is starting to get me down again.  There are a lot of people talking, but not so much to each other which I think is a great shame.

Adios!

Hitting the Stage

I'm finally getting to do something I haven't done in over 10 years...be in a play!

The last time I was in a play was when I played a black cat in a pantomime while at uni.

December 2003

I auditioned for a local theatre production (everyone who auditions gets a part) and I'm now going to weekly rehearsals.  The play is a murder mystery farce.  It's tough rehearsing in the middle of seeding, and I'm so grateful to my parents who come up to take care of Rory since Duncan is working long hours.  It's just something I have to do at this stage of my life when I only have one child.  I've missed the buzz of theatre terribly over the past decade.

Then this morning I got an email from the director saying we are no longer going to be doing this play.  Licensing issues, plus two cast members pulling out meant we would be struggling to be ready to go by late June, which was the plan.  So, now we're going to be doing a different play and performing it in mid August.

There you have it, the crazy world of theatre.  As the old saying goes, the show must go on.

It Was a Jolly Night With Mary

I went to see Mary Poppins on stage in Perth last Friday night.  My friend Emma (who I used to live with back in the day) invited me and booked the tickets a few months ago.  It was so nice to have a night out with a good friend.

If you live in Perth and haven't seen the show, then I highly recommend it.  The set is spectacular and Mary actually flies! :)  Having said that, it really is a show for the ladies (Duncan scoffs at musicals..."No-one just starts singing and dancing in the street...it's not normal!")

The funniest thing was that it had been raining all that day in Perth and was still raining when Emma and I arrived.  We watched heaps of people make their way across the carpark with umbrellas.  How appropriate!



Show's about to start!  Better put my camera away.