Get On Your Soapbox #32

"What sort of book are you writing?......Football!  Really? You look like you'd write romance novels or children's books."

"Why are you involved with the theatrical society?.....You go on stage? Really? You seem like such a shy, quiet person. I could never pictured you doing that. You ARE a shy person, aren't you? No, really, aren't you?"

Can we just stop the stereotyping, folks? I've really had a gutful. It's one of the downsides of living in a small town.

Yes, we all make presumptions about people based on their appearance. But when you're proved to be wrong about that person, don't tell them what your first impression of them was. Particularly if it was negative (saying the first time you saw me, you thought I was a complete utter legend is allowed).

If someone is my friend now, I don't need to know that they thought I looked like a useless droob the first time they met me. That's not helpful in any way. It's only going to make me paranoid that everyone who meets me will think I'm a useless droob.

Keep your thoughts and revelations to yourself. If you discover someone who is morbidly obese is actually a very competent tennis player, don't tell them, "Ohhh you're really good. I thought you'd be too fat to run."

Acting is acting. You shouldn't be surprised that quiet people can be brilliant on stage. Loud people don't necessarily make the best actors. I know some very loud people, but they quake in their boots at the thought of doing theatre.

Some people need a brain to mouth filter...desperately.

Get On Your Soapbox #31

This one is for the stay-at-home mums....

I'm totally over the obsession with encouraging mums to work from home. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told I should do party plan. I just don't sell things! I'm hopeless at it. If you've ever been convinced to buy something because I recommended it, please let me know as I'm extremely sceptical I have any gifting in that area.

I've been told that I need to do something for myself, and that setting up a home-based business is the way to do it. It's marketed as the ideal lifestyle, that you can spend time with your kids while working and contributing to the family income, that you can fit work around family.

I remain completely resistant to the idea and it doesn't show the other side.

You see, if really pushed, some WAHMs (work at home mums) admit that it isn't easy.  It's a juggling act. You can't be working and spending time with your kids AT THE SAME TIME. It usually involves mums on their phones, promoting whatever they're selling via social media, while their kids play in the park. That's not spending time WITH your kids. Other mums have admitted they do get stressed to meet sales targets, or to go out and do parties or demos, because they need to find someone to babysit. The trouble with part-time work is that there are no set hours; it's easy for it to overtake your family time and harder to set boundaries. Often people work until stupid o'clock at night, trying to get everything done. Or they have to palm their kids off to the grandies to get everything done.

I've been there, I've tried it before. It didn't work. It's really hard. I'd rather have less income and a tighter budget and more sanity. I already 'do stuff for myself' on Tuesdays while Flynn's at daycare and Rory's at school.

It's different when you have school-aged kids. You have regular time alone to do it. But with toddlers and babies, it's a nightmare.

I get that it does work for some. Maybe they have really easy kids who like to play alone?

So, why am I ranting about it?

Well, I just think some people should be more honest. It's not what it's cracked up to be. No mum can do it all at once. There are different seasons of life. Being a stay-at-home mum is valuable in itself, and you don't need a pay packet on top of that.

Get On Your Soapbox #30

Is it just me, or is anyone else completely over 'parenting experts'?

Each time I check Facebook, my newsfeed is cluttered with articles about what NOT to do.  Apparently any form of discipline you use will screw your kid up mentally for the rest of their life.  No smacking, because they'll become violent.  No time-out, because they'll feel abandoned....

Now it's supposed to be all about 'positive parenting', that if you give your child enough cuddles and attention, their behaviour will improve.  Well, yes, I sort of agree.  But even when Rory and I have had a nice day together, there have still been moments where he's been a complete little toad.

What these 'parenting experts' fail to consider is sin.  Kids are sinful.  No amount of positive parenting will make them perfectly behaved because, like all of us, rotten behaviour comes from the heart.  The heart is something that only God can change.

Get On Your Soapbox #29

While we were in Dunsborough for Easter, I saw a poster on a pin-up board at Duncan's parents' church which really riled me. It was advertising the Christian school which Duncan attended for primary school. On the poster was this tagline:

For Christian parents who care.

Excuse me?!?  Is this school implying that since we intend to send Rory to our local public school for kindergarten (and beyond) in two years time, that we don't care about his spiritual development?!?

Perhaps the tagline should be: For Christian parents who have the money.

They can argue all they want that some Christian schools are very affordable, but I know what some of my friends are paying for private education at 'cheaper' Christian schools.

Grrrr.

Get On Your Soapbox #28

Two consecutive rants....whoa!

It's Australia Day today.  I love being an Aussie, but one aspect of our culture gets my goat.

Tall Poppy Syndrome.

I'm certainly not advocating worshipping celebrities and talented people, but just because someone is good at something doesn't mean they're arrogant.

I wish Aussies would stop using jealousy disguised as 'keeping people humble' to cut talented individuals or groups down to size.

Why can't we just say 'well done', instead of trying to dig up dirt?

Image from here

 Rant over.  Back to more 'peaceful' posts now.

Get On Your Soapbox #27

I grew up reading Enid Blyton books, and used to spend many hours daydreaming about how fun it would be to one of the characters in her stories.

So, you can imagine my disgust when I saw a copy of The Magic Faraway Tree at a bookshop, and the characters' names had been changed.  Instead of Jo, Bessie, Fanny and Dick, they were now Joe, Beth, Frannie and Rick!

After doing a bit of Googling, it appears the main two reasons for the change are that Fanny and Dick have certain 'connotations' for today's children, and the new names make the books more appealing to an American audience.  Apparently Beth is a more modern derivative of Elizabeth than Bessie.

When I was a child I knew the other meaning of Fanny and Dick.  But who cares?  The books were written in the context of the 1940s.  Just enjoy the story.  Yes, their names are FANNY and DICK, how funny, how rude....GET OVER IT!

And why, WHY does everything  have to be changed to cater for Americans?  I don't see any Australianised versions of popular American books out there.  I'm sick of seeing Australians translating our lingo for Americans (bikkie means cookie, arvo is afternoon, Hungry Jack's is Burger King etc.).  I grew up reading Judy Blume and I had no idea what a barrette was, or bangs....you eventually figure it out (oh, a barrette is a hair clip, bangs are a fringe).  Why can't Americans learn about Australian and British culture for a change?

I'm so glad I still have my older, original copies of  Enid Blyton's books....Fannies, Dicks and all.

Get On Your Soapbox #26

I planned to do a book review, but that will have to wait....

Last Wednesday, I started a new job.

Today, I'm going to quit.

My former boss rang me and asked if I'd be interested in working with her again, at a different organisation (she left our old place of employment five months after I did), doing admin work for the equivalent of one day a week at home.  It sounded like a dream opportunity, especially when we've been limping from payday to payday each fortnight.  It would only be for six months as I'd be filling in for someone else who is on sick leave.

But I can't cope.

In the past week, my depression has risen as have my stress levels.  Working from home with a toddler in tow is a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I've been madly trying to get things done while he sleeps, but there's never enough time.  I've been staying up to ungodly hours trying to catch up, I've had less time to spend with Duncan, I'm starting to get cranky with Rory....everything I feared.

Last night was the lowest I'd been for a while.  I was crying, couldn't sleep, having panic attacks, shivering (even though it wasn't cold), experiencing vertigo.  Yesterday I had to go to the doctor due to some other 'symptoms' which have arisen and I'm sure have been caused by stress.  One day a week is never just one day a week and, like study, there are no boundaries.  It's so easy for the work-life balance to become non-existent.

I'm angry at society and I'm angry at myself.  I'm angry at society for putting so much pressure on mothers to go back to work when they don't REALLY need the money, saying they need to do something else for themselves, to use their brains.  Well, my brain is now overloaded thanks to this job and I can't think straight.  My house is a mess, I'm eating crap food because I'm in a rush, I don't have time to read my Bible, I'm thinking about work when I'm trying to spend time with my son.  His nap times are filled with work instead of resting or cooking for friends in need....I hate how everything has become about me and my job, and God and other people have become a distant second.  I don't want to use my daycare day for work.  It'll never be enough time anyway and it's the only time I get to myself.

I'm angry at myself for being so weak that I can't even manage one day a week of work from home.  I could never be that working mum with multiple kids in tow.  I'm angry that I thought I needed to prove myself somehow.  I enjoy being a stay-at-home mum and domestic engineer.  I don't want to go back to work.  I just want to write.  I'm about to write a cover letter and synopsis for my book and send it off to a literary agent.

This has been a very humbling experience.  I'm not as well as I thought I was and I have a lot more limitations than many other mums.  We can manage on one wage.  We just need to budget really, really well.  Last night I received the welcome news that Duncan is getting a pay rise.

I'd just like to say to all the working mums out there....do you really need to work?  REALLY?  Do you really need the money?  Do you enjoy your job, or can you manage on one wage?  Are you working to buy things you could live without?  Would you rather 'do something for yourself' meant doing something you really like instead of advancing your career?  I know some people really do need to work, so I'm not having a go at anyone here.

I just want to ask the hard questions of society...and of myself.

Get On Your Soapbox #25

Dear Older Mums,

I'm referring to the mums who have adult children who may have left the nest.....for who child-wrangling was a long time ago.

You complain that younger mums do not seek your advice, and turn to books and health professionals instead.  Are you cultivating a good relationship with them?  Or is everything that comes out of your mouth laced with criticism?  Do you ever tell younger mums that they're doing a good job, instead of focusing on everything that they do wrong in your eyes?  Are you cheering them on in a role that is often wearisome and unappreciated?  Maybe if you were more loving and kind, they would listen.

It's a different world out there than it was 30-40 years ago.  Some things about child-raising remain the same, but there are different challenges for today's parents.  Don't say things like, "I NEVER let my kids use iPads or iPhones."  I'm not a fan of kids using them either, but each to their own in this case.  It's really not an achievement forbidding your kids to use something which didn't even exist back then!

I understand you may have received little practical help and encouragement when you were where I am now.  But I do not understand how you can deprive young mums of help just because you were denied the help you desperately craved.  My mum was at a cafe with some ladies from her exercise class who started talking about how they don't help their daughters or daughters-in-law with babysitting - they didn't get any help, so why should they give it?  My mum was horrified.  She is a tremendous help to me, just as my Nan was to her, and we have a good relationship now.  I know some of you may have been taken advantage of as grandparents - being lumped with the grandkids every day while your kids went back to work.  That's not fair!  But to NEVER babysit or help just because you didn't receive any help yourself...what is that going to prove?  We ALL need help from time-to-time.  Don't criticise young mums for using daycare for some respite.  That daycare may be their 'village' which enables them to get some rest and then be a better mum.

I know many of you think (and have said) that kids these days have far too many toys, and I do agree.  But don't be quick to judge, assuming that parents have spent hundreds of dollars on toys.  For your information, many of Rory's toys were gifts from when he was born and his first birthday, but the majority are hand-me-downs from friends' kids.  We have been very blessed in that area and we will pass the toys on to other families and organisations later.  You've remarked that, unlike today's kids, your kids used to sit quietly in a playpen all day and play with a pencil, but sometimes the rose-coloured glasses can skew the past a bit.

You may have been frowned upon by the older generation when you were a young mum.  Maybe they didn't help, or just told you, "Children should be seen and not heard."  I'm sorry you were bullied by those who should have been more understanding.  Please don't then become the bully by imitating the behaviour of those who criticised you.

Sincerely,
A Younger Mum who does not know everything, but is doing her best and would love some encouragement along the way.

This is NOT aimed at all older mums.  I know some FANTASTIC older mums who have offered so much encouragement and love.  This is for those who seem to have forgotten how hard the baby and toddler years can be.

Get On Your Soapbox #24

Urgh, I am SO OVER the world's OBSESSION with happiness and positive thinking.

Apparently everyone's main aim should be to be happy all the time and, if something bad happens, well, we'll just close our eyes and think positive and it will all go away.

First things first, I'm not at all meaning people who think that thinking positively will help them fight cancer or unemployment or whichever battle they are facing.  That's great!  Should we count our blessings and keep slogging away when things look bleak?  Absolutely.

What I've had a gutful of is people telling those who are suffering to just be happy because life's too short, or think positive and it will all be ok, or something else equally patronising, superficial and trite.  To the suffering, it sounds like, Shut up and get over it, I'm sick of hearing about your problems, you're ruining my happy existence.  Newsflash: life is hard, people are suffering, and no-one can be happy all the time.  If they are, they must be high on drugs.  I've had people try and get me on the happiness/positive thinking juggernaut when I've been in the midst of depression and it just made me feel worse.

The Comfort In, Dump Out model has been floated around a bit on Facebook and Meredith posted it on her blog.  It's so spot on!  People going through hard times need comfort and support, not silly whimsical advice.

I don't go for happiness.  No, I'm not a masochist or like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh (at least I hope not).  I'm a realist.  Life is hard.  We live in a fallen world.  Grief needs to be worked through and done well, not just shoved away and a fake smile plastered on.  Happiness is fleeting because it usually arises from a particular circumstance and when that circumstance changes for the worse, it is difficult to remain happy.  I don't want happiness, I want joy.  Joy is deeper.  Joy is constant.  Joy is knowing that my troubles are fleeting and one day I will be with Jesus.  One day there will be no more crying, mourning or pain.  Joy is knowing Christ, that He is Lord and my Saviour, that He loves me deeply, no matter what I may be going through all the time.  I can have tears running down my face and still be joyful because I know and trust Him.

The other reason I dislike the world's obsession with happiness is that it is so self-centred.  Happiness is all about me.  I want to feel good.  It's about having things go my way so I can feel good, so I ultimately need to keep pursuing happiness more and more.  This pursuit doesn't consider others.

Tim Minchin got it so right in his address to staff and graduates at UWA.  Watch it.  I agree with his views on the pursuit of happiness.

Get On Your Soapbox #23

Hmmm, how do I put this delicately?

Over two years ago, I wrote a post called Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back about how, despite being a woman, I really don't understand women sometimes.

I still don't...yet I sort of do.

Believe me, I know about the pressure women face to conform to a certain image, to get in line and plod along in trying to be like other women (I live in the country after all).  I wrote the post, I'm George...They're Annes about this very issue.  I'm just not your typical country woman.

I do strongly believe in 'keeping it real'.  There is nothing more off-putting and discouraging than someone who makes out they have the perfect life....even though we know, in reality, that nobody has it good all of the time.

But often women cross the line.  Instead of just honestly admitting their faults or lack of skills in an area, they make it into a kind of 'suffering competition'.  I often feel the temptation to exaggerate my faults, or make my life out to be worse than it actually is just so I can't be accused of boasting or trying to make another woman jealous.

Let me be honest for a second...

I'm not great at baking.  If a cake rises, for me that's a magnificent achievement.  The thought of using fondant gives me cold sweats.  That's one reason why I generally steer clear of attempting novelty cakes, and why I don't intend to give our baby a big first birthday party.  I remember as a kid that I enjoyed parties far more when my mum wasn't stressed trying to be fancy.

I do keep a relatively clean house.  This is made easier by the fact that there's no-one except Duncan and I to mess it up on a daily basis.  I hate cleaning (I used to work as a cleaner while in high school), but I hate dirt and clutter more.  So I drag my unmotivated self off my bum to do some cleaning (music does help with motivation levels).  After living with feral pigs in student housing for three years and tiny houses (bar the big rambling farm house we live in now), I like to have minimum stuff, and I'm constantly selling stuff on ebay or giving it to opshops.

I'm not particularly crafty, and I'm not really looking forward to doing craft with kids (probably because of the mess involved).  Occasionally I do get into the craft groove (like when there is a competition at the local show, for instance), but otherwise I don't have a lot of inspiration.  I'm kinda dreading the homemade Advent Calendar stage.

I can't sew beyond sewing on a button or mending a slight tear.  I have no desire to make clothes for my children.  By the time I finish something, they'd have grown out of it.  I'm all for opshopping when it comes to kids' clothes.

That's me!  Part of me wishes I could make elaborate cakes, clothes and craft...but then I'm also quite content not being good at those things.  I might get better with practice, but the stress I'd feel wouldn't be worth it.  It's better for me to keep it simple.  I understand the pressure some women put on their friends to be like them.  I mean, they're doing all of this stuff, so why aren't their friends?  I've already been asked if I'm going to give our child a big first birthday party and sew clothes for them.  When I say no, I get these incredulous looks and the reply, "But you must!"  Why must I?

Due to this kind of pressure, I can understand why likeminded women group together to defend themselves against expectations.  But the line is crossed when rather than simply explaining their decisions, women gang up and bitch about women who are gifted in the areas they find difficult.  I know how tempting it is to do this.  Let's have a go at women who have talents we secretly covet.  Let's make them out to be competitive perfectionists who don't trust God.  I particularly hate it when women have a go at other women with houses cleaner than their own.  There's a sign I've seen in gift shops that says, Dull women have immaculate houses.  Honestly, that makes my blood boil.  Just because someone likes cleaning or does it regularly doesn't mean they are a boring person.  It also DOESN'T mean they never practice hospitality because they're afraid of guests messing up their house.  It really grates on me when overweight women pick on those who are thin.  I once had someone tell me that guys prefer women with big breasts and meat on their bones - not skinny minis.  Honestly!  Some women are just thin!  They're not on Hollywood fad diets...they're just thin.  Get over it!

What I have to say to myself and all women is: Give it a rest!

So when I find myself slagging off another woman, it's usually because I'm jealous.  I'm coveting that women's gifts and circumstances for myself (particularly when it comes to evangelism - I struggle to share the gospel and invite people to church so it's tempting to just have a go at those who find it easy).  I might not understand why women go to the effort they do in some areas, but hey, if they enjoy it and are not doing it because of pressure, good on them!

What I've come to realise is that some women are not putting up photos of magnificent cakes and crafty achievements to make other women jealous; they are just sharing their lives and gifts and genuinely enjoy doing these activities.  If I have a problem with that, then that's just it...my problem!

So ladies everywhere, let's all celebrate the diversity among us and how God has wired and gifted each of us differently for His glory.  Next time we see a woman with a gift we want for ourselves, let's give thanks for her rather than tearing her down.

Over two years ago, I wrote, Let's look at another woman and instead of seeing a potential rival, see a potential friend.  I still stand by that.

Get On Your Soapbox #22

This past winter seemed to have been especially shocking for sicknesses.  Not only was I sick with one thing after another, one only had to check Facebook to realise that no-one seemed to be untouched by these lurgies.

What really annoys me when I'm sick (or anytime really) is when people try to analyse why I'm sick.

"You need more fresh air/vitamins/vegetables/organic food/(fill in the blank)."

I hate it when people say, "Oh you're sick AGAIN?" or "You're ALWAYS sick," and then eye me critically as if it MUST be all my fault.

The reason this annoys me so much is that sickness is not always about cause and effect.  Sometimes we don't know why we're sick....we just are.  A person can eat their own organically-grown food their whole life and still die of cancer.  Another person can smoke a pack a day for decades and live long enough to get their telegram from the Queen.

No-one seems to be untouched.  Everyone seem to have been sick this winter - the old, the young, the gym junkies, the overweight, the smokers, the non-smokers...you get my drift.

We should make an effort to take care of our bodies, but sometimes the only explanation for why we are sick is that we live in a fallen world.  We will not cure all illnesses this side of heaven.

When I'm sick, all I want is a sympathetic ear and some practical help - not to be analysed like I must have done something wrong.

Get On Your Soapbox #21

It's over four months since Christmas and those cute, cuddly kittens and puppies won't be so little anymore.

When I hear about people who change their pets like they change their underwear, it really gets my goat!

Someone tells me they have a new pet bird.  A little while later I ask them how their bird is going and I get an answer like this:

"Oh we don't have the bird anymore.  It didn't do anything interesting.  The kids were bored with it.  I was bored with it.  So we gave it away/opened its cage and let it fly away..."

or

"Oh yeah....the bird.  We forgot to feed it/fill up its water container and it died.  Oops!"

When I ask them how the dog is, I get an answer like this:

"I think we'll have to give the dog away.  The kids are bored with it.  Nobody takes it for walks."

But wait...it gets worse...

I had a conversation with someone who said she was sick of her kids not taking care of their pets.  Since she didn't want to do it, she said she was contemplating just letting the animals starve to show the kids they need to take some responsibility.

Rightio, so the innocent animals have to starve/dehydrate/drown in their own poo just to teach your kids a lesson?

Then there was the time someone I know put her cat outside on a 40+C day in Perth with no water for it.  When I asked her if she was going to put some water out for the cat, she replied, "Oh it'll find water somewhere."

Rightio.  Your cat will just miraculously manage to find water in suburbia on a stinking hot day?  That person then got annoyed at me because I filled up a container of water and left it outside for the cat.

I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day and she said, "If I see one more post on Facebook from someone giving away kittens because they can't be stuffed getting their cat sterilised, I'm going to really cut sick at them!"

A pet is a commitment.  Cats and dogs can live until they're 20 (or more).  That's a long time.  Way longer than when the kids get bored or go back to school.

Get On Your Soapbox #20

I thought this was appropriate now that school is back.

I just want say a big, "BRAVO!" to all the teachers I know.

You are all amazing!  You deserve your holidays.  You deserve a pay rise.

The amount of crap you have to put up with from the Education Department, students and parents....I would have gone insane!  (Most of my friends who are teachers say it is the 'My Johnny is an angel' parents who cause the most stress).

Keep going!  Don't let the love for your subject be destroyed.  The teachers I loved the most when I was at school were the ones who were passionate about their subject, and that passion was infectious.  Don't let the jerks win.

So to all of my friends who are teachers or ex-teachers.....thank you!  I don't have kids at school, but I was a student once and I can see that what you do makes this world a better place.

There should be an international Hug a Teacher Day.

Get On Your Soapbox #19

It seems like it's the Australian thing to have a whinge about our government...

But did you know that governments are established by God?

They were established for our good, to maintain order, to prevent anarchy, to administer justice, to govern wisely.  Yes, there are bad governments, no doubt about it, but as much as I might not like Julia Gillard, I do not think things are as bad in Australia as the whingers make out.  We should be grateful we don't live in Zimbabwe, Libya, or Syria.  We should get down on our knees and thank God we weren't born in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia or Italy under Mussolini.

So, when Christians think they are above the law, it really gets my blood boiling!

Our ultimate allegiance is to God.  If the government asks us to do something which disobeys how God wants us to live (like trying to stop Christians telling the gospel), then we need to obey God first and foremost.  But I personally know too many Christians who take that as a licence to disobey the laws of the land and decide which ones they should reinterpret.

A couple of weeks ago, it was Census night here in Australia.  Once in five years our government asks us to fill out a basic form.  ONCE in FIVE years.  That's not a massive inconvenience.  You're not being asked to disobey God.  How hard is it to fill in a ruddy form PROPERLY?!?  I get so sick of hearing about Christians generally being idiots by writing that they speak 'Crap' in the Language section or ticking the wrong gender.  I'm sick of people saying, "Oh, but the information never gets used for anything anyway."  Really?  I know people who have worked for the Australian Bureau of Statistics.  I have worked at Curtin Uni and taught students how to access and use the Census data for their assignments.  You'd be surprised at the range of courses that need statistics for assignments.  So the government may not use the information for what we would like, but they are asking us to do a simple thing.  Do it!

Don't get me started on Christians who think it's ok to speed or drink drive.  I was the designated driver once while out dancing with a group of Christian friends.  I was horrified that they kept trying to pressure me to drink!  They must have been completely insane!  I never have more than one drink when I'm out now (going out is rare now that I live in the country).  I've been in the situation before where the designated driver started drinking and fortunately I'd had nothing to drink so I could drive us home.  If not, we would have been screwed!

Then there are the revhead morons who think it's their right to reinterpret the road rules.  Apparently it's ok to speed because everyone else drives too slow. Hmmm.  Apparently they have such brilliant driving skills, I should trust them even though they are going 20km over the speed limit.  Apparently it's ok to read a book while driving on the freeway if it's the Bible you're reading (no joke).  Then there are the Christian girls who think Christian guys being tools in utes on the road are like....so cool.  I roll my eyes.

No, burning CDs illegally is NOT ok.  You are stealing from an artist who has a right to an income.  I can imagine how it would feel if my book was published and someone scanned it and put it on the net for free download.  I've slaved away for years on that book!  No, it is not ok to make a copy for a family member who does not live with you.  A lot of copyright rules state that you can make another copy for yourself (i.e. one for your house and one for your car), but you may NOT make a copy for another person.  I had one person try to justify illegally burning CDs because they reckoned they are too expensive and they have a right to cheap music.  Really?  I didn't know CDs were a necessity.

Our government is far from perfect, but they have been established by God.  We are called to honour our government whether it be by obeying traffic laws or filling in a form.  And we should not submit out of fear of the consequences for disobedience, but submit joyfully out of conscience and our love for God.  For there is nothing like Christians living as though they are above the law that brings dishonour to God's name.  So, yes the next time you merrily do 10km over the speed limit and Mr Speed Camera lets you know about it, remember he is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.

Get On Your Soapbox #18

I studied acting as my minor in my undergraduate degree at uni.  This increased my passion for something I already felt strongly about.

SUPPORT AUSSIE TV AND FILMS!

Apparently the unemployment rate for actors in Australia is 98%.  I don't know if that statistic is accurate, but I believe it.  Most actors have a 'day job' to support themselves.  Maybe since I studied acting I could be counted in the 98%?  I would love to pursue it as a career, but there are various reasons why I haven't which I won't go into now.

We Australians are confronted with American culture every day through our TV and cinema screens.  We learn their lingo, but we neglect our own culture.  Some people I've talked to won't give Aussie shows a chance because they reckon they're 'budget crap', yet they're willing to try any new American show on the box.

What we have going for us as Australians is that we are great storytellers.  In our short history we have so many stories yet to be told although some have already made it to the screen.  Who needs big budgets and lots of special effects to tell a good story?  Hollywood just regurgitates the same predictable plots over and over.

Maybe our shows won't have international appeal, but who cares?  Our humour is unique.  Americans don't get it, and I quite frankly don't find their sitcoms, which often drip with sarcasm, funny anyway.  Remember the awful US version of Kath and Kim?

I don't like every Aussie show (Neighbours is terrible), but you don't know until you give it a go.  Support Aussie actors or else one day we might not have an industry at all.

Get On Your Soapbox #17

I’m SO over city people complaining.

Seriously some people need to get a grip. They whinge because their internet is not quite as fast as usual. They whinge that all of their download has gone. They whinge that there isn’t good enough coffee. They whinge that they broke their phone. They whinge that they have no food in the house and that the shops are so FAR (grrr when some people live in Victoria Park, I get really annoyed…there are OODLES of shops there and in the surrounding suburbs). They whinge about doctors. They whinge about schools. They whinge about churches. They whinge about the price of petrol. They whinge that the power’s gone off in a bad thunderstorm.

Yes, I’m just repeating some of the stuff I ranted about in Get On Your Soapbox #15.

Ok, spoilt city slickers, let me put things into perspective for you.

I have a mobile phone I can’t use. I can’t switch it on at home because I get no signal and it just drains the battery. I can’t call or text or receive calls or texts. I have to go to town (about 20 minutes away) just to use this basic service city people take for granted every day. We had to buy this special aerial to plug our phones into just to be able to get one bar of reception so I can send or receive texts. But then that kind of defeats the purpose of a MOBILE phone if I have to stand in one spot. Sometimes it decides randomly not to work. When I hear about people whinging about their iphones, I get very annoyed. They have an iphone. Enough said. That’s not going to be an option for me because no model of phone will work out here. We are in a massive black spot and I’ve reported it to Telstra numerous times but they don’t want to know about it.

Petrol? Don’t you dare complain until you see the prices we pay. And we don’t have the option of public transport. Unless you want to be a hermit, travelling is part of life…and you have to pay for it.

Oh my goodness, when slackers whinge about how they have no food when the shops are just down the road, I seriously want to strangle them. Come here and complain. Or better yet, go to Dally. Yep, that’ll really give you something to complain about.

Your internet is slightly slower than usual this morning? Boohoo get out the violins. We’ve waited for months and been stuffed around my two companies just to get any sort of connection. And now we’re supposedly online and it’s dodgy. When you read this post, I’ll be at someone else’s house just to use their internet. Bigpond keep fobbing us off and won’t return our calls. They sold us a dodgy modem and now we have to wait for them to send us another one. No, it isn’t our choice to go with Bigpond. They are money-scabbing morons, but we don’t have a choice. We have paid hundreds of dollars for modems, aerials and half the stuff doesn’t work properly. City people plug in their modem and away they go. We’ve just about gone broke trying to get this basic service.

So, your power’s gone off in a thunderstorm? Well duh, it was a thunderstorm. Come to Buntine. The power goes off for no obvious reason. In summer. In 43C heat. At least you city folk have Western Power crawling over themselves trying to get it back for you. We’ve had to wait for a few days and that’s not uncommon. They don’t give a toss about the country.

Still complaining?

But don’t feel sorry for me. Honestly, don’t. I have it good in comparison to the rest of the world. I’m glad I’m not in Africa where I might get one hour of electricity a day and not know when it’s going to come on. I didn’t write this post to get sympathy despite what some people may be thinking. I’m just writing to let Perth people know they have it really, really good. The best in the world maybe.

One thing I will never understand though is why city Christians seem to look down their noses at the country, but then say they’re willing to go anywhere to serve God. I’ve heard so many people say this and it really annoys me when they don’t literally mean ‘anywhere’, they just mean a city or somewhere with a nice view of the beach and lots of wineries and Christian schools nearby. Don’t say to God that you’re willing to serve Him anywhere if you don’t mean it (who knows He might just take you up on your vacant blank offer). Don’t say you’re willing to serve God in a developing country if regional and remote Australia is beneath you.

There are many days I seriously consider what it would be like if we moved back to Perth. I would lap up the super-fast and reliable internet. I would rejoice at being able to stay in touch with friends more easily. Even now when I go back, my jaw drops at the prices and the choice. People there get mail everyday (we get it on Tuesdays and Fridays). It’s such luxury.

If only city people realise how good they have it. But Duncan says that if you’ve been spoilt your whole life it’s difficult to go from more to less.

Perhaps only anyone who has lived in the country will understand...

Get On Your Soapbox #16

It's Friday!  Time for a rant!

Since when did hens nights become an occasion for Christian women to cease living for Jesus and indulge in the world around them?

Before my own hens night, I was approached by a fellow Christian who openly told me of the plans she had for me on my hens night and none of them were pleasant.  Excuse me, but the bridesmaids are responsible for organising the hens night unless there is a good reason why they cannot do so (like if they live interstate or overseas).  I did not want people hijacking the bridesmaids' plans without their knowledge.  I fully trusted my bridesmaids that they would not do anything unsavoury to me on my hens night, and now here was this person wanting to dress me up in a devil costume and goodness knows what else.  I stopped them right there in their tracks.  Later on, I had to stop the same person wanting to do the same thing to another bride because I knew that bride, being a committed Christian, would not appreciate it.  She ended up using an angel costume instead.

I know that Satan does not necessarily look like how he is depicted in popular cartoons.  If you've ever watched South Park, you'll know that he is portrayed as a funny guy sitting down there in the flames of hell on his throne with Hitler or Stalin next to him.  How on earth Christians can talk about resisting Satan one minute and then wanting to dress up as him the next like it's a big joke is disgusting.  So what if he doesn't actually have red horns.  It's what you are portraying yourself as that matters.

I've seen pictures on Facebook which other Christian girls have put up of hens nights, and you've got to wonder how they can brazenly think there is nothing wrong with drunkenness and playing penis games....even playing 'Pin the Penis on *insert groom's name here*'.  If someone had wanted to play 'Pin the Penis on Duncan', I would have slapped them.  How can they talk about the importance of purity and keeping sex for marriage, and then play a game which degrades a guy behind his back, I will never understand.  It's also hypocritical; if they heard that guys were playing a similar game based on the bride at a bucks night, they would get on their moral high horse.

Living for Jesus involves living for Jesus at all times and that includes hens and bucks nights.  There are plenty of fun things to do that respect the bride and groom.  Such occasions are not for a holiday from holiness.

Get On Your Soapbox #15

If I don't say what I'm about to say, I'm likely to implode!

I'm sure some people will find this offensive, but, to be honest, I really don't care.  It's the type of people in this post whose behaviour I find highly offensive, and, since I'm not just referring to one individual, if people take offense, then they must have a guilty conscience.

Ever since I announced to my Perth mob that I was moving to a farm, I was met with many excited responses.  So many people told me they would keep in touch, and would love to visit.  Well, we've been up here for two years now....and I'm still waiting.

I could rant forever about people who keep making empty promises and breaking them.  I could rant about people who are disorganised, vague and hopeless at answering the many avenues of contact they set up for themselves.  I could rant about people who expect us to just accept the lopsided friendship of having us visit them all the time in Perth, but them never making any effort to travel to us. We do our best to maintain relationships with people, and it hurts greatly when the gestures are not reciprocated.  The vast number of conversations I've had with people over the past two years indicate that some people are ignorant.  They really don't have any idea about our lives up here.  One person got the idea in their head that our house is only accessible by four-wheel drive.  They know I don't have a four-wheel drive; how on earth do they think I get home?!?  Now that doesn't really bother me in the larger scheme of things.  People will always be ignorant about what they don't know.  I'm ignorant about a lot of things.  What I don't like is when people live by their ignorance.

We keep hearing the excuse that it's 'too far' for them to come and visit despite the fact that we've told them repeatedly it is only three hours.  That's the same time as it takes to go down south from Perth.  The SAME TIME.  And we know for a fact that many of the people who say it's 'too far' frequently go down south for the weekend.  Apparently it's too far and too expensive for some people to come up here, yet we are supposedly made of money and expected to come to Perth all the time.  Hmmm funny that.  Whenever we invite people to come to our place, I then get the question, "When are you coming to Perth next?" and I just roll my eyes.

I know some people have very good reasons for not visiting.  Some have large families and wouldn't fit comfortably in our house (and there is nowhere else for them to stay).  Some have difficulty travelling.  Unfortunately our house is not wheelchair-friendly.  I know many people have visited us already, some more than once.  This post is not aimed at them.

A friend who lives in Tom Price feels the same.  She has hardly had any visitors because everyone says it's too expensive to go up there.  Yet, she's expected to make all the effort by going to Perth all the time.

I've really gotten over the stage of begging, pleading, nagging etc.  I realise it's not going to make any difference.  The harsh reality is that many people are not too busy, too poor etc....they are SNOBS!

Unfortunately snobbery is growing at rather an alarming rate among city Christians.  I didn't notice it when I was in Perth, but now that I'm in a dead-end place (according to some people), people don't want to leave the comforts of the city in case the get their immaculate fingernails dirty.  I'm sick of the bogan jokes, and the indication that they think our home isn't good enough for them.  I'm tired of the mocking of country folk as if they are aliens who need to be kept in a glass case and studied carefully to deem if they are human.  Newsflash:  the country is where you'll get some of the best hospitality you will ever receive.  Yes, we'll actually cook for you and welcome you into our home - not take you to a restaurant and make you pay $30.  Yes, there are city folk who are wonderful at hospitality, but the country folk excel, in my opinion.  This is MY HOME, for goodness sake!  I do not like people ridiculing it, especially when they've never ventured past their cultivated lawn and backyard pool to see it for themselves!

I see so many people on Facebook, who claim to be Christians, complaining endlessly about coffee (apparently Perth has NO good coffee....in the whole of Perth), the fact that their mobile phone is a year old, some supposedly horrid restaurant they visited, or that the shops are SO FAR (when there are four shopping centres within a ten minute radius).  They laugh at people who live in a more lowly suburb, and then the same people talk about the possibility of being missionaries in a developing country.  Hmmm so let's see....Dally is not good enough for you, but you're going to live in the slums of India?!?  Whatever!  Toughen up, princess!

Seriously I've had Christians complain about my house (when I lived in Cannington), the wine I've brought to dinner, and laugh at my mobile phone because it wasn't the latest model.  I still cannot believe it; their attitude would almost be laughable if it wasn't so sad, and some Christians really need a reality check, to focus on eternal things, and not things that spoil, perish or fade.  I get sick of the simpering smiles I get accompanied with the question, "So what do you DO up there?"  Well, if you come and see, I will show you how you can live without shops, cafes and nightclubs.  But of course, some people will never come.  We can never compete with down south.  We don't have a chocolate factory or a multitude of breweries and wineries to entertain people.  What you'll get if you come up here is US.  When I've invited people up, I get asked, "But what will I DO up there?".  Ummmm how about nothing?  Or (shock horror) you could actually talk to us!  You know, sit and talk, communicate, share together....the way people did before Wiis were invented.  When I go to a friend's house, I go to see THEM....not their house, not their possessions.  I don't expect them to put on a show, I just want them to share their lives.  And these are the same people who complain that their city lives are too fast, too busy and that they just need to get away and do nothing.

In desperation the other night, I suggested to Duncan that we buy a Wii so people can play it if they visit.  He said no, that he wasn't willing to spend several hundred dollars on a contraption we would hardly ever use ourselves, just to bribe the 'Here we are, now entertain us' types.  That snapped me back to reality.  He's right.  Stuff 'em.

I know I'm not the only country person to go through this.  I've met heaps of people up here who have struggled for years to get their friends to visit, but get scolded if they don't visit the city slickers in Perth.  I guess we're very fortunate that we have genuine friends in our lives who bother to make the effort.  That's all I'm asking.  Some effort.  Once a year is enough.  I'm not asking for a visit every month.

I won't be nagging anymore.  They can sit in their fancy coffee shops and drink lattes until they come out of their noses for all I care.  I will focus my efforts on those who want a friend, and not a court jester who lives in a toy shop.

Get On Your Soapbox #14

Before I head off for the weekend, I shall leave you all with a rant......;)

There's one thing about living up here that really annoys me....

TRUCKS!

The Great Northern Highway is full of them and they think they own the road. Honestly all of the psycho truck drivers I have ever encountered have been on the Great Northern Highway. When I've been travelling to Albany on Albany Highway, I have seen some trucks pull over to let a line of traffic go past! How nice is that! There's zero chance of that up here.

Honestly do truckies think they're above the law or something? One time I was driving to work and I was stuck behind three trucks. The road had a double line but still they started mucking around, overtaking each other.

Last year, I had probably one of my most scariest experiences ever involving a truckie. I was on my way to Perth after work. It was dark and the road was windy. I kept encountering truck after truck that would not turn off their high beams for oncoming traffic. Then suddenly a truck came roaring up behind me with its high beams still on and started tailgating me. I was doing the speed limit, the truckie was obviously speeding. Not only was I blinded by the light, I was blinded by the lights of oncoming trucks as well so I had to slow down a bit on a narrow and windy patch of road. I was too scared to slow down in case he rear-ended me because he was certainly showing no sign of slowing down and I was terrified of being run off the road. Eventually the truckie roared past me and by this stage I was so angry, I turned my high beams on and thought, 'Take this, loser!"

Suddenly he swerved off the road and I seized my chance to overtake him. As I drove past, he opened the driver's door and hung out by one arm, screaming abuse. Instinct took over and I took off, not stopping until I reached Perth.

Both my mum and Duncan told me off for flashing my lights at him, saying I only made a bad situation worse and that if he'd caught me I could have been beaten up or dead in a car accident. I know they're right but I just saw red and I'm so sick of tools like that on the road, thinking they can intimidate smaller vehicles. Yeah I know a lot of truckies are probably on drugs but that's no excuse. I'm sick of bleeding hearts defending them, saying they need to take drugs because they have such long, tiring stints behind the wheel. So what? That's no excuse to behave like a psychopath. They're not the only ones on deadlines and I'm glad the cops up here are clamping down on dangerous driving from truckies.

I'm standing up for drivers of minis, Barinas and little Accents like mine! It's time the truckies, bus drivers and Perth people who drive four wheel drives when they don't need them be taught a lesson!

Get On Your Soapbox #13

On Friday night, my dad arrived to stay for the weekend. We had dinner and then Duncan had to go back to work to continue seeding. At 8:30pm, Dad and I sat down to watch the Eagles' game, aware that we were watching a delayed telecast. I have no interest in finding out advanced scores; I prefer TV over radio anyday and I sit and watch matches to the end when I can....win or lose.

At half-time, I got a text message and I automatically opened it, assuming it was Duncan telling me that he was going to work later than 10pm which he had estimated finishing by. It wasn't Duncan.....

It was two guys we know (lucky for them they shall remain anonymous). The first part of the message made very little sense. It was random dribble and at first I wondered if the guy that sent it was drunk (although since they are both Christian, I assumed not). Basically it seemed that they were hanging out together and the last bit of the message said.....*So-and-so* told me to text you to tell you the weagles lost.

To say the least, I was absolutely furious. There was no point watching the last half of the game now. It would be boring knowing the result either way. At first I told myself, Ignore them. Ignore them. But then I thought, No, I have had enough! So I sent a text back which said:
Well maybe instead of being such a smartass you should have realised that I'd be watching the game and now there's no point since you've given away the score.

The reply I got was:
Ouch. That was feisty. Sorry to have put a downer on your evening.

Pfft he wasn't sorry at all and he calls ME the feisty one. I thought that was mild compared to what I was planning to write, mate! To make things worse, the one who sent the text doesn't even follow AFL (the one who told him to send the text but was too cowardly to do it himself is a bitter and twisted Dorks' supporter). They obviously had nothing better to do on a Friday evening than spitefully ruin a game that I was looking forward to watching. When I told my dad, he said, "That was stupid and immature." And these guys are supposed to be mature, godly Christians!

So now I had nothing better to do than go to bed. When Duncan came in, I told him what had happened and asked him if he'd be pissed off if he was planning to watch a delayed telecast of a Wallabies' game and someone texted him the final score. He admitted he would be very annoyed!

The next morning I received another text from that guy in a much more gentlemanly tone, wishing me a happy birthday and apologising for his thoughtless comments. I have forgiven him and it is over.

Lesson to anyone who thinks it's funny to ruin endings for other people.....it's not! That goes for sports matches, book and movie endings and final episodes for TV series. A friend of mine who lives over east got in big trouble for posting the result of a reality TV show on Facebook when it hadn't yet aired in WA. A lot of people were angry at her and she was sorry but that was a careless slip of the tongue. When it's deliberate just to ruin things for others because you know they'll be about to watch it, it is a whole different story. I got so annoyed when I was reading the final Harry Potter book a couple of years ago because a certain person kept deliberately coming up to me and trying to tell me the ending even though I kept telling her I didn't want to know! You know what this reminds me of? Kids going "I know something you don't know na na nana na." Pathetic, immature and childish.

Just because you don't care less about what they're watching, leave them alone to watch it. As much as I can't stand the Dorkers, I don't go texting scores to their fans who I know are currently watching the match. That's just nasty. So if you're one of those people who get their jollies out of ruining such things for other people, I suggest you go and take a long, hard look in the mirror at the sad, spiteful little person looking back at you!