Diary of an Incubator: FAQs the Second Time Around

I answered these questions I was commonly asked during my pregnancy with Rory here.  I've decided to do it again (with a few extras) to see how much has changed the second time around.

Where are you having the baby?
Last time we went to a private hospital in Perth.  It was a pretty good experience, but there are still out-of-pocket expenses when you go private.  We can't afford maternity cover on one wage, so we've made the choice to go public in Albany.  The new Albany hospital wasn't open when Rory was born, but I've since visited a friend and her baby in there and was impressed.  There are all single rooms and it looks very flash.  The only downside is that partners can't stay the night, but my parents live a stone's throw from the hospital, so Duncan and Rory will stay with them.
It's also much easier going to Albany for appointments with my parents there to babysit, instead of going all the way to Perth with a toddler in tow.

Public or private? 
As above.

Are you having a boy or a girl?
My 19 week scan is next week, but, like with Rory, we won't be finding out the sex.  It's really nice having a surprise after all the hard work of giving birth.  Finding out the sex to me is like unwrapping your presents early because you couldn't wait until your birthday.

Are you excited/nervous/*insert some other emotion here*?
Again, all of the above.  The scourge of postnatal depression still lurks in the back of my mind.  The statistics are that if you've had PND previously, there's a 50-70% chance you'll get it again.  But then a lot of women are also fine.  My doctor has tried to reassure me that this time I'll be watched like a hawk, there will be safety nets in place because others are aware of my history, and I know where to go for support.  I've remained on my antidepressants throughout the pregnancy because my doctor has assured me it's safe to do so.  However, towards the end, she's going to reduce the dosage slightly as there is a chance the baby will suffer from withdrawals when he/she is born.
I'm actually a lot more excited about meeting the baby this time around.  I know what it's like now, and I do miss newborn cuddles (an active toddler who is too busy for cuddles is not quite the same).  I feel a lot of love for the bubba already.

Have you had any morning sickness?
Yes, oh yes.  See here.

How are you going with the low starch diet?
I haven't been on that for over a year now, thanks to my Bioflow wristband.

Have you had any strange cravings?
Nope, I'm always very boring in that regard.  No chalk or gravel for me haha.  Like with Rory, I've craved a lot of carbs (pizza and ravioli are favourites at the moment).  I also can't get enough Cookies and Cream icecream.

Do you have a bump?
I've had a bump since I was six weeks, and being summer, there were only so many 'tent dresses' I could find to hide it.  Winter is definitely a lot easier to be hiding pregnancy in the early stages.

Are you wanting a girl?
No, I'm not.  I don't need a 'pigeon pair'.  I love my little fellow and I'd be more than happy with two boys.  For us, it's all about numbers, not gender.  When people tell me they're praying I'll have a girl, I tell them, "Please don't.  Pray that the bubba will be healthy and sleep well.  Thanks."

Is this the last?
We honestly don't know.  A lot hinges on my postnatal health this time around.  If I get PND again, we'll stop with two.

How do you think Rory will go with the baby?
This has been bothering me a bit.  Rory doesn't like babies.  When one crawls up to him, he looks disgusted and whinges at it, likes he wants the bubba to go away.  He much prefers hanging out with big kids, but I've been telling him gently, "The big kids were nice to you when you were a baby, now it's your turn to be kind to small bubbas."  I do worry that he'll be jealous and will hate me because I won't have enough time for him anymore.  I'm a bit sad that my special time with just my firstborn is coming to an end.  But I guess we'll all adjust...eventually.

Get On Your Soapbox #29

While we were in Dunsborough for Easter, I saw a poster on a pin-up board at Duncan's parents' church which really riled me. It was advertising the Christian school which Duncan attended for primary school. On the poster was this tagline:

For Christian parents who care.

Excuse me?!?  Is this school implying that since we intend to send Rory to our local public school for kindergarten (and beyond) in two years time, that we don't care about his spiritual development?!?

Perhaps the tagline should be: For Christian parents who have the money.

They can argue all they want that some Christian schools are very affordable, but I know what some of my friends are paying for private education at 'cheaper' Christian schools.

Grrrr.

Quote of the Day

Something to remind myself of should I receive a letter of rejection:

Giving up on a goal because of a setback is like slashing your other three tyres because you got a flat.
- Unknown

From Head to Hand: Literary Agents

I've been investigating the wonderful world of literary agents in recent months.  What's a literary agent, you may ask?

A literary agent represents writers and their written works to publishers, theatrical producers, film producers and film studios.  They receive a fixed percentage of the proceeds of sales as they negotiate on behalf of their clients. 

Most people have assumed that I will send my book straight to a publisher.  Why send your book to an agent when they'll take some of your earnings?  Well, because sending an unsolicited manuscript to a publisher is a huge gamble.  The big publishing houses received hundreds of manuscripts from wannabe writers every year.  It has to be very, very good to grab their attention.  Most never get read properly.

It is much better to go through an agent first.  An agent will read some sample chapters and assess your book for marketability.  In other words, they won't take you on as a client if they don't think you're any good and that they can make money out of you.  They will send your manuscript to publishers on your behalf with their endorsement.  A reputable agent will NEVER ask you for money upfront or charge you to become their client.  If an agent asks for money, BACK AWAY.

I think it is well worth going through an agent.  Yes, they will take a cut of your earnings, but they will also help you get the best deal.  For me to approach publishers on my own is like going to court without a lawyer, or trying to sell/rent out your property without a real estate agent.  I know too many people who've tried to save money by doing it themselves only to have their investment property trashed by dodgy tenants.  If the publishers were interested in my book, I wouldn't have a clue on negotiating contracts etc.  I want someone there who knows the tricks of the trade, who has my back.

Steps to seeking an agent in Australia:

1.  Visit the webpage Australian Literary Agents Association which lists reputable agents.
2.  Agents usually only accept certain genres (i.e. some may only do children's books, or adult fiction, or travel etc.).  Choose an agent which accepts the genre of your work.
3.  Visit the agent's website to determine their requirements for sending your material to them.  They will usually want a cover letter and synopsis (Google examples of these so you know how to write one.  DON'T copy it word for word though).  Make sure your work is in the correct format (i.e. font, line spacing, margins).

I have a 2-10 week wait to see if I've been successful.

Quote of the Day

Go into the arts.  I'm not kidding.  The arts are not a way to make a living.  They are a very human way of making life more bearable.  Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake.  Sing in the shower.  Dance to the radio.  Tell stories.  Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem.  Do it as well as you possibly can.  You will get an enormous reward.  You will have created something.
 - Kurt Vonnegut

The Day You Probably Thought Would Never Come...

I did though.  I had faith that it would...one day.

Earlier this week, I sent the first four chapters of my book, plus a cover letter and synopsis to Curtis Brown literary agents in Sydney.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.

More next week.

The 13th March is Scary

I've noticed a disturbing pattern about the 13th March...it always seems to be a crappy day for me.

13th March 2012
My car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I had to walk 5km to the nearest house, causing me to miss an afternoon of paid work.  Read all about it here.

13th March 2013
It was the day of my first psych appointment to deal with postnatal depression.  My mum and dad were meant to look after Rory for me (who was seven weeks old), but when they arrived, my mum and I got into a huge fight because she didn't like the sleeping bag/swaddle that Rory was wearing.  She ended up storming out and I was left with no babysitter.  Fortunately a lovely lady from my church came to the rescue.  It was just a horrible, horrible day.

13th March 2014

Rory had his skin prick test and we received the devastating news of his food and environmental allergies, and that we would have to rehome my beloved Ebony.  Read all about it here.

13th March 2015
It was stinking hot and my morning sickness was in full swing.  I was so weak and dizzy that I had to ring Duncan to come home for a few hours to look after Rory so I could lie down.  Afterwards I felt a bit better so I got out Rory's paddling pool for him.  He had a splash, then got out of the pool and did diarrhoea on the verandah!

I only noticed this pattern a few weeks ago.  I'm trying not to think about 13th March 2016.  After all, I don't want to will it into being another bad day.