When God is Removed From the Picture

For any readers who may not be aware, Australia will soon be undertaking a postal vote to determine whether same-sex marriage will be legalised.

This post is for Christians (like myself) who oppose any change to the Marriage Act.

It's tempting to think that if we could just come up with the right argument, we can persuade those who plan to vote yes. But any argument you come up with will just be rebutted.

You can argue that children will be affected, you can cite examples of children raised by gay couples who resent their upbringing. They will just provide examples of happy, well-adjusted (and heterosexual) children who have had two mums or two dads.

You can argue that Christians and other religions will be persecuted for their faith. They will argue that the gay community has been persecuted for a long time.

You can argue that many other cultures agree that marriage is between a man and a woman. They will argue that other cultures also have polygamy and that John Howard changed the Marriage Act.

You can argue that God created marriage when he created Adam and Eve. They will argue that God doesn't exist.

That there is the key point.

Those in favour of same-sex marriage argue that marriage is a human right, that the debate is about equality. Instead of arguing, ask them questions.

What is a human right?
Why should those things be human rights?
Where do your beliefs about justice, fairness etc. come from?
Why do you believe there is a right and wrong?
Why do you think your beliefs are right and mine are wrong?

Many people will say there's no God, but are adamant that there is good and evil, right and wrong. If there is no God then we're just blobs of matter.

The most important thing for Christians to remember is that we cannot expect non-Christians to agree with God's view and purpose for marriage. They cannot see, they are spiritually blinded. I remember when I first became a Christian, a good friend admitted that she'd been frustrated for so long, because I had so many Christian friends and I couldn't see what (or who) they were all about. I just replied, "I couldn't see, I was blind."

I didn't see because of witty, clever arguments. I came to see because God opened my eyes.

By all means, keep standing up for marriage to be protected. But don't forget to pray.

Bible Verse of the Day

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

2 Corinthians 4:4

Post-Surgery Worst Nightmare

My worst nightmare post-surgery nightmare was getting gastro. A friend visited me in Perth while I was recovering, and told me how gastro had ripped through her family recently. I thought that if I were to get gastro now, it'd be beyond horrible. Throwing up with a painful stomach...gah!

Of course, that's exactly what happened.

Late Friday afternoon, I went to have a shower in preparation for going out for dinner at a friend's house in celebration of another friend's birthday. I had had my dressings changed twice by a nurse, but this was to be the first time I'd done it myself. He nurse had recommended I do it in the shower. It was a bit painful and, while I was in the shower still, my vision started to go and I felt very faint. I called out to Duncan and he caught me before I fainted. I came to on the shower floor, dressings half off, wondering what had happened. Duncan said I'd been out of it for about 20 seconds. He helped me out of the shower and onto a chair. After a little while, I felt well enough to complete the dressing change, put on my pyjamas (having decided that as much as I was looking forward to the dinner, it was just a no-go after what had happened) and sat on the couch before going to bed. I just didn't feel well.

Then the vomiting started. It finally finished at around 1am.

Surprisingly, it didn't hurt my stomach. Coughing, sneezing and laughing had been much worse. Duncan called our local hospital to check whether he should bring me in, but they said, unless I was in pain, or the vomiting was going on and on, I should be ok.

Of course, I was completely wiped out he following day and my mum arrived to help.

Then on Sunday, Flynn got it.
My mum went home on Monday morning and Bethany from our church, who's been helping me at home arrived.
In the early hours of this morning, Rory got it.
We heard from my dad that my mum had it, too.
Now, Duncan, the man with the immune system of a mallee bull when it comes to gastro, has even succumbed.

We've all been knocked over like dominoes.

May this bug leave my family and never return!

Me Before You

I finished this book during my 'sabbatical after surgery' in Perth.  With euthanasia still a much-debated subject, this book is very relevant.  I'd also heard a review of it and thought it sounded very interesting.

The plot centres around Will, who is 35 and has been a quadriplegic for two years after being hit by a motorbike.  Feeling very depressed about all he has lost, he tries to take his own life before asking his parents to take him to a clinic in Switzerland where he can end it.  Devastated, his parents hire Lou, a 26-year-old woman, to be his personal carer and companion, with the hope she can cheer him up and show him life is still worth living (I will not reveal the ending).

While I am a Christian and strongly against euthanasia, this book helped me see just how difficult life is for people like Will, or those who are in chronic pain and terminally ill.  The last few years have been so dreadfully difficult with my mental health that I have longed to end it all on numerous occasions.  On of the upsides of my suffering is that I have become more compassionate and able to see other's viewpoints in these matters.  I agree that the argument to let someone 'die with dignity' makes sense in a worldly point of view.  To be honest, if I was in Will's situation, I would struggle to want to live, too, and I'm a Christian with the tremendous hope that Jesus brings.  Will doesn't have that hope, so I can see that his life looks bleak to him.

This book led to some...ummm....'interesting' discussions with my mum after I told her what the book was about (she is reading it now).  She is not Christian and said that if she was dying and in pain, she would ask me to take her to an overseas clinic, too.  I told her that although it would devastate me to see her suffering, her life is not mine to take, or to assist in taking.  She said, "Fine, I'll ask Tim, then."

I'm hoping to read Joni Eareckson Tada's biography to hear about how a Christian person has dealt with becoming a quadriplegic and how the hope they have in Christ has made a difference.

Ultimately I'm still very opposed to euthanasia...but I think Christians can be so and still understand why people like Will would consider it.

Recovery and Results

I'm now two weeks and three days post-surgery, and I'm pleased to report that everything went well.

My abdominal muscles were repaired and I had to have mesh inserted to hold them together.  The hernia has been repaired.  It's frustrating not being able to do a lot of things, but I am so, so thankful it's done.

I spent three nights in hospital in a shared room.  The first lady I shared with was lovely, although we had to talk to each other from opposite sides of a curtain for a while.  It was nice to finally put a face to the voice.  Then she was discharged and I had a room to myself for just over a day before another lady came in.  On the morning I was getting ready to be discharged, this lady was getting ready to go in for surgery.  Suddenly, she started vomiting everywhere and hearing it just made me want to be sick, too.  I felt very sorry for her, but watching/hearing other people being sick is one thing I struggle with.  This surgery was my first with wound drains.  Duncan was grossed out when I told him I had two tubes coming out of me, and blood and gunk was dripping into two containers.  It sure was awkward walking to the bathroom, having to carry them all the time.

I stayed in Perth for five days after discharge, returning to the hospital once to have my dressings changed.  My mum took care of me and it was a very peaceful week, just watching TV, resting, reading and colouring my adult colouring book - a very strange experience without the little fellows, although I talked to them every day via FaceTime.  I think Duncan has a new respect for stay-at-home mums after he took a week of personal leave to care for the boys while I was away.

Now I've been home for nine days and my peace has been shattered.  Since we couldn't find an au pair, my mum has been staying with us as I can't lift or drive for six weeks.  We managed the school/daycare routine without killing each other.  I was especially nervous about the arrangement as when the fellows were born, things did not go well between us.  But, praise God, we have a young girl from our church coming a few days a week to help me, which is a massive blessing.  It's tempting to do more than I'm supposed to, but then I remember what this surgery cost us financially and I'm determined to do what the surgeon said.  There's no way I want to have it done again.

I'm in a bit of pain and discomfort and I'm still walking a bit hunched, like a little old lady.  Thankfully I have a support garment I wear around my abdomen and it stops me feeling like my stomach is going to fall apart.

We Survived the First Semester

Rory survived and we survived the first semester of kindergarten.

Term 1 was more of a challenge.  There were quite a few mornings that he screamed about having to put on his uniform and get on the bus.  We didn't back down and eventually he settled and enjoyed going to school.  He was an angel at school, according to his teacher, but on his 'home days' he was horrid.  I think the tiredness of school and the bus trip, combined with the effort of being on his best behaviour all day meant that Mummy copped all of the pent up frustration.  He threw some of the worst tantrums I've ever seen him throw during that first term.

Term 2 went a lot smoother.  He made two friends in particular.  One lives up the road from us, is on the same bus and at the same school, but is in the other kindy class.  The other is in his class, but lives in town.  During the term, the speech therapist he's seen off and on since he was two, came to the school regularly to help him with a slight stutter.  He's also had visits at school from an occupational therapist to assist with his fine motor skills.  Unfortunately, Rory doesn't have a lot of strength in his upper arms, so he needs to work on that, and that will help with his cutting, writing etc., so his arm doesn't get so tired.

I found him a few activity books for his age group on some of my opshopping adventures, and he loves nothing more than working his way through the different literacy and numeracy activities.  He keeps asking for more books!

I loved seeing his portfolio he brought home on the last day of term.  This is my favourite.  He told me very excitedly, "I'm a rabbit, Mummy."

Under the Knife

In 11 days I'll finally be having surgery to repair my abdominal diastatis.

Unfortunately, although I fought hard, we will still be forking out $15,000 we don't have, thanks to my family.

I ended up getting a referral for an ultrasound and they found a small hernia near my belly button.  However, since it is only small and the main surgery is the abdominoplasty, I'll be getting peanuts back from Medicare.

Despite all of this, I'm beyond excited to finally be getting some of my life back.  I'll be able to exercise, lift heavy things, be free of abdominal discomfort and pain, be able to fit into my old clothes once I've healed and the swelling has gone down.  I'm actually looking forward to the little 'break' I'll get in hospital.  I just hope they give me good drugs!

Duncan will be taking a couple of weeks off work to care for the boys while I'm away and after I get home.  My mum will be accompanying me to Perth since I won't be able to drive for at least a few weeks after the surgery.

Now we just need to find an au pair from the end of July until the end of August as I won't be able to lift Flynn or do much at all really.  All of our attempts have been fruitless so far.  We've spoken to four different ladies and they've all decided against it (although one we're still chasing up).

Please pray we will find someone soon.