Monday, October 16, 2017

The Pendulum: Social Media and Me

I'm in a bit of a quandary about my usage of social media at the moment, so I'm wondering what others think about this?


Do you just post whatever interests you on social media?  Or do you 'tone it down' so your 'friends' don't become annoyed or offended?

I'm usually a firm adherer to the rule that your blog, your Facebook page etc. is YOUR chunk of cyberspace, and how you express yourself is up to you.  I'm not advocating ungodliness here, rather that if you want to post one hundred photos of your cat, or share articles about gun control, or funny memes, then it's YOUR page to do it on.  If someone doesn't like it....well....they need to suck it up.

But lately I've noticed that the trend to unfriend over the slightest thing is growing.  People being unfriended because they post too many photos of their kids, or are honest about their fight against depression, pose for too many selfies, are too political, share too much about their weight loss journey.  It's not only a difference of opinion that's causing the unfriending, but a difference of interests.  I'm sick of the way you post about motorbikes all the time, so I'm ending the online friendship.

As much as people might say unfriending is 'not personal', it IS personal.  It is a rejection in some way, and sometimes over the pettiest of reasons. So many people seem determined to only have a friends list who affirms their opinions and shares every interest.

I don't want to post deeply sordid things, but I do want to share articles and quotes that I am passionate about.  I don't want other mums to feel like they're the only ones struggling.  But I've been a victim of unfriending because people simply don't like what I post. These aren't people I don't see anymore; these people I see regularly.

I don't want to bow to people pleasing, but if the whole point of social media is to be social, should we care what others think, to an extent?

So, has someone's rejection of your online presence made you reconsider what you post?

Or do you continue to post what you want, saying it's my way or the highway?

Friday, October 13, 2017

Friday Funny

After this week, I need a Friday Funny...


STRANGE THINGS

1.  Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, or it will digest itself.
2.  A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
3.  The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
4.  During the chariot scene in Ben Hur, a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Charlton Heston's wearing a watch).
5.  Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
6.  If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death (who was the sadist who discovered this?).
7.  Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
8.  The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
9.  Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space, because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Sometimes You Just Have To Cry

Sometimes crying makes you feel better.

On Friday, I ended up in the emergency department in Albany hospital. The boys and I had been staying with my parents for a few days in the school holidays.  I woke up with shocking abdominal pain.  It started between my chest and my belly button, went through to my back, and then up to my chest, and I started wondering if I was having a heart attack.  The pain was second only to my labour with Flynn.  I couldn't keep still and couldn't stop crying out in agony. 

What really distressed me was not the pain...it was the reaction of my own parents.  They literally didn't care.  My dad yelled at me to stop disturbing everyone.  He told me to take Panadol, put a heat pack on and be quiet.  My mum told me I was scaring the kids (I wasn't; they were totally distracted by the TV) and that I need to learn self-control and be quiet in pain.  I yelled at her furiously, asking if she'd been quiet when she'd hurt her back nine years ago and ended up in hospital for a week.  My dad told me he'd take me to the hospital as long as it didn't make him late for work.

What the heck?!?  They are not usually this horrible and I'm still hurting from it.  I confronted them later, telling them how much their attitude hurt me, that I was in a lot of pain and couldn't just be quiet because it was inconvenient for them.  But they still don't get it.

Then today I was in tears because a friend of mine unfriended me on Facebook.  If it was someone from high school that I hadn't seen since then, and had no 'real life' relationship with, I wouldn't care.  But this friend is someone I see regularly, am on good terms with (or so I thought), can talk about all sorts of stuff with, and Rory is best friends with her son.  I asked her, via private message, why she unfriended me and said I was sorry if I'd inadvertently hurt her.  She said she didn't agree with some of the stuff I posted on Facebook, but that we could still be friends in real life.  I asked her if she could clarify what sort of things she disagreed with and she said she'd tell me in person sometime (I saw that she'd also unfriended Duncan and another mutual friend).  Then, she messaged me this evening, explaining that she finds it too overwhelming reading about friends suffering (like when I posted about my abdominal pain).  I'm glad we have sorted it out, but the whole afternoon has left me somewhat drained and emotionally fragile. (I will do another post on the nature of real life/online friendships later, as it is a subject that has often fascinated and perplexed me.)

Just when I thought I'd been doing so well recently, too.

Side note: I am fine, physically.  The hospital did tests and an ultrasound, but all were clear.  It is not related to my recent surgery.  They thought it might be my gallbladder, but it doesn't seem to be.  After some heavy duty painkillers, which left me very drowsy, I was home a few hours later, and the pain has not returned since.

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