Monday, October 16, 2017

The Pendulum: Social Media and Me

I'm in a bit of a quandary about my usage of social media at the moment, so I'm wondering what others think about this?

Do you just post whatever interests you on social media?  Or do you 'tone it down' so your 'friends' don't become annoyed or offended?

I'm usually a firm adherer to the rule that your blog, your Facebook page etc. is YOUR chunk of cyberspace, and how you express yourself is up to you.  I'm not advocating ungodliness here, rather that if you want to post one hundred photos of your cat, or share articles about gun control, or funny memes, then it's YOUR page to do it on.  If someone doesn't like it....well....they need to suck it up.

But lately I've noticed that the trend to unfriend over the slightest thing is growing.  People being unfriended because they post too many photos of their kids, or are honest about their fight against depression, pose for too many selfies, are too political, share too much about their weight loss journey.  It's not only a difference of opinion that's causing the unfriending, but a difference of interests.  I'm sick of the way you post about motorbikes all the time, so I'm ending the online friendship.

As much as people might say unfriending is 'not personal', it IS personal.  It is a rejection in some way, and sometimes over the pettiest of reasons. So many people seem determined to only have a friends list who affirms their opinions and shares every interest.

I don't want to post deeply sordid things, but I do want to share articles and quotes that I am passionate about.  I don't want other mums to feel like they're the only ones struggling.  But I've been a victim of unfriending because people simply don't like what I post. These aren't people I don't see anymore; these people I see regularly.

I don't want to bow to people pleasing, but if the whole point of social media is to be social, should we care what others think, to an extent?

So, has someone's rejection of your online presence made you reconsider what you post?

Or do you continue to post what you want, saying it's my way or the highway?


Iris Flavia said...

I think one of the problems is that people "gather" too many "friends" without thinking.
A former trainee of my Dad made a friend request to me.
I´d seen once and again, but we never talked, my Dad died 15 years ago, so why does he want to be my friend?
It´s like "harvesting", oh, I know that person, I add a friend.
And because I do NOT know that person I get bored with what they post and simply unfriend them and state "it´s not personal".

I agree with you, it IS personal.

I also admit I, well, didn´t unfriend but clicked "see less of..." a person once.
My witness in marriage even.

We met online and went along great. When in Perth I asked her and she said yes.
Turned out in real life it didn´t fit as well.
Instead of making an efford, she let go in real life but kept commenting online.

We came back to Perth for over 5 weeks, I let her know we´re there.
No answer and later online, "sorry, so much to do, family visiting etc".

Over 5 weeks?
Being honest saying, "hey, no hard feelings, but we don´t match", that I´d appreciated.

I also agree with you on being honest.
I shared more "unpleasant" private things before on blogger and I do think everyone is free to do so, people can stay away.
Yet... Sometimes I think "what would it be good for? I don´t wanna rememeber this forever, so why bother others and make them maybe feel a tad sad".

That wasn´t though because of a rejection of another person, so far I got none.
Then again I have 28 "friends" on FB - including my MIL - and I haven´t met all in personal life.

Sorry, this was a longer one!

bettyl-NZ said...

I have 37 friends on FB. I had many more but then I realized that most of them were from high school and they weren't really interested in me then (we had two groups back then, the college prep and the 'others'; I was in the college prep and they were all in the 'other' so we didn't have classes together except maybe PE).
So I deleted them all. I think only one actually noticed and sent me a friend request again. Then I unfriended her again later and that was that. The rest just like my photos of NZ or were 'real' friends.
The friends that post about all their meals and everywhere they go, I unfollow them for a while so I don't see it all.
I'm pretty easy going but when I want to post something that I think some will be offended by, I just change who gets to see it (It doesn't happen that often).
If someone unfriends me, I don't really care. They're the one who is missing out on my sparking personality!!!!

Life is too short and I am too old to worry about what people think. If they are that upset and bring it up then we can talk about it. Other than that, there's not much to do or say as far as I am concerned.