When Friends Go Weird

This is a hard post to write. It is one I have done a lot of reflecting on. At the back end of a tumultuous year like no other in my lifetime of 37 years, it seemed appropriate to post it now. As much as I'd like to believe it, I doubt when the clock clicks over to 2021 that these problems will magically disappear.

As fear of COVID-19 gripped the world, one of the repercussions has been the rise of conspiracy theories. These have always been around, but now social media, anxiety, and an increasingly unstable world have seen them gain new followers - ones who I would previously have never believed would have become entangled in things like this. I have at times felt devastated as it became glaringly obvious on Facebook that more and more friends had 'gone down the rabbit hole', and no amount of reasoning would convince them it was a terrible mistake. Suddenly anyone not with them was against them - we were 'living in fear', 'enslaved to the government', and needed to 'wake up'. COVID didn't exist, or at least was a lot less dangerous than the media was reporting. We were going to be forcibly vaccinated by Bill Gates and microchipped. The government was putting fluoride in our drinking water to damage our 'third eye' and make us docile and obedient. We shouldn't be wearing masks or staying in our homes. It was all part of a government plan to turn Australia into a dictatorship.

I was more scared of these people, my friends, than I was of the virus.

How was a longstanding friendship going to survive these bizarre beliefs? When lockdown ended and we could meet in person again, would I have to endure long-winded rants of how I was a sheep and needed to be 'woke'? Would every topic suddenly become an elephant in the room?

The scary thing was that some people were not just saying they believed these things, they were actively changing their lifestyle in accordance - in ways I could never imagined some people would have just a year earlier. This included no longer vaccinating their kids, planning to homeschool (presumably because the school wouldn't enrol their kids if they were unvaccinated), buying expensive water filters so they wouldn't have to drink tap water.

But then I started to consider how it must have looked to my non-Christian friends and family when I became a Christian. I know for a fact that many of them thought I'd become 'weird', that they were worried I'd been sucked into a cult, that I was living out my faith in big life decisions, rather than it being a passing fad. They must have been scared, they must have thought they'd lost me, they must have wondered if they could ever have a normal relationship with me again, they must have worried I'd bash them over the head with my Bible at every opportunity.

Maybe all this conspiracy theory stuff will be a fad for some friends. I truly hope so. I was talking to a good friend of mine who is a nurse in mental health, and she thinks the anxiety of being in social isolation has messed with people's minds. I'm inclined to agree. I also know that some people who are really into conspiracy theories also have bipolar disorder and, because of their beliefs regarding health, often refuse to take the proper medication for it.

I've also realised that rather than running in fear from some people because of their passion and outspokenness, I could use these opportunities to speak about Jesus. If they want a platform to speak about their great love, then they cannot refuse me the chance to respectfully speak about mine. Then I pray they will know what true freedom is, that trusting God in all things, means you are not living in fear.

The Happiness Effect

If you see that I’m reviewing a fair few books on social media usage it’s because it’s my pet topic at the moment.

The Happiness Effect is a study of the attitudes of American college students towards social media. While some of it was extremely interesting, I found some was not relevant to me. Unfortunately I’m not in that young twenty-something demographic anymore, and chapters on sexting, selfies and nude photos are not really my thing. I don’t need to worry about what my future boss might think of my posts and photos as my profile is set to private and there is nothing incriminating there anyway. There was also discussion of apps that I have no idea about; I’m really only familiar with Facebook and blogging.

The main point of the book is that there seems to be no place on social media for sadness or overt seriousness, and there is great pressure to only post happy, positive things. Whether it’s pressure that friends will cut you off, or that a post will affect your future employment, people of all ages feel they must edit their lives. I’ve found this to be very true. There is pressure to post things for ‘likes’ and the thrill of acceptance and validation that gives. There is no place for vulnerability, hence some insensitive twit will use it against you. Yet, if you’re too positive, you get accused of being fake. You can’t win.

These are some of the points which really stood out to me:

• There is a real love-hate relationship between young people and their smart phones. They long to be free of them, but feel disconnected to their peers and the world without them. Nowadays, smart phone users are expected to be on-call like they were doctors or other emergency workers. There is a fear of being out of phone range if there is an emergency and they need to be reached. Yet, previous generations survived without this technology. Those who have deactivated their social media accounts have noticed they tend to get less invitations to things and it’s the fear of being left out that often makes people reactivate.

•  In the past, you’d hear about a party you weren’t invited to via overhearing conversations. Now the photos are plastered all over social media to rub it in your face (often deliberately).

• Being on platforms which allow you to post or comment anonymously is freeing because you can be your authentic self. I’ve found this with blogging; I can be much more honest than I can on Facebook. However, this has led to the rise of trolling, and people showing their nasty sides.

The book didn’t address all of the areas I wished it had and I suspect that is mostly because it’s not aimed at my demographic. What I want to read is a book about social media usage by women around my age – the subtle nastiness women often display, such as tagging all of your mutual friends but you in a ‘best friend meme’, posting photos or ‘checking in’ at an event you were excluded from, liking everyone else’s posts but yours. But you can’t pull them up on this behaviour as they’ll just deny it and you’ll look like a crazy person.

My hunt continues….

How Social Media Ruins Friendships

I'm sure I could easily come up with at least 10 reasons why social media is beneficial for friendships, but my experiences over the past five months with Facebook and friendships have left me shaken, anxious, paranoid, angry and bitter. I won't go too deeply into the events that caused this reaction (you never know who is reading after all....although part of me wants to just put it all out there), but enough so you know what has caused this extreme reaction.

I've written about this briefly before, but in early October last year, I went to message a friend and my heart leaped as I saw the 'Add Friend' button on her profile. Since I consider this person a 'real life' friend, I messaged her via Messenger, asking what I'd done wrong. I considered maybe her kids had been playing with her phone, until I got the dreaded message. Yes, she'd done it. The reason? She 'didn't agree with some things I post'. I asked her to elaborate. This isn't someone from high school who I haven't seen in 18 years, so it could make any in-person encounters awkward. Last year I posted about how it's usual habit for many Facebook users to unfriend anyone who disagrees with them on anything! I tried to recall if I'd shared any controversial political articles recently. I eventually learned the reason.

I was unfriended because I was sick.

Yep, it was because I posted about this incident.

Then I was re-added by this person a couple of months later as if her actions hadn't had any effect on me at all! She knew I'd been upset about it, but I didn't mention the extent. That whole saga about being in hospital with abdominal pain meant I lost more than just my health temporarily. My parents didn't believe me and acted like it was a massive inconvenience for them, and now a friend of mine had unfriended me because they just didn't want to know (they said they cared too much, but I would never turn my back on a friend in need, even if I was worried about them). I even asked some other friends of mine (not mentioning this person's name) and they thought it was very weird behaviour.

So I still have a yucky taste in my mouth months later and I'm wary about what I post. But then the rebel in me, declares, Who cares what they think!

• There is no Facebook/real life divide when it comes to friendships. I'm sick of people behaving waaay differently on social media to how they would in real life. If you're rude to me online, that affects our real-life friendship. I'm not just going to forget about what you said because you forgot I'm a real person behind a computer screen. I've seen people write, I'm doing a massive friend cull on FB, getting rid of negative people in my life, then declare that they still want to be real-life friends with the people they unfriended, and not understand why those people were hostile. Ummm yep, it IS personal, buddy. You shafted them out of 500 people and wonder why they're pissed off. And if they're so 'negative' online (which is usually code for they don't agree with everything their friend says or does), why do you still want them in your life?
  
• If you're unfriending someone because you're jealous, then YOU'RE the one with the problem. Unfriending/unfollowing someone you're jealous of won't solve the problem, because it's raised heart issues for you that you need to deal with.

• If someone wants to post 'personal' things, let them. If they want to post often, let them. I've heard people complain, "Mary posts so much on Facebook,". Well, how do you know Mary posts a lot unless you're always on there reading it?
•  I've had enough of women using Facebook to be bitchy and exclusive. I get sick of seeing mutual friends post stuff about being 'best friends' with someone and liking one person's every post, while completely ignoring other people.

• If you're don't like or are not interested in what someone else posts, just scroll on by. Unless you're really concerned about this person and what they're posting, just let it go. People like different things. Get over it! Life would be pretty boring if everyone was interested in the same things.

Related posts:
Fakebook
Facebook 'Friends'
Facebook Etiquette 
Faceless

Quote of the Day

Drop the competition, forge a oneness between women, break down the barriers, stick it to society by saying: "No. I will not tear down other women anymore, no matter who they are or what they are doing. I will not be a part of this vicious cycle of mum shaming, bitching, stepping on a fellow woman to make myself feel valued or worthy. Because I am valued and I am worthy. I do not need to validate myself with other women's hardships."
- Constance Hall in her book, Like a Queen

Gossip or Fair Warning

I like to take people at face value.  One of the negative things about living in a small town is that you inevitably hear ABOUT some people before you hear FROM them.  It's hard to give some people a fair go when your ears are ringing from warnings by the town gossips.  But, nevertheless, I do try.  I would hate it some people had made their mind up about me because of something (potentially) untrue that someone else had told them. That has happened because we are Christians and some locals don't like the church, so they therefore decide not to like us.  It's also happened because of where Duncan works.  He works for a corporate farm and some locals don't like the fact that farms were bought by a big businessman in Perth (never mind that he has brought heaps of young families to the town, but....I digress).  Duncan has had to put up with a few rude comments from some old codgers.

I remember receiving a warning from two (rather gossipy) people about another woman I had got to know.  As I got to know this woman, I found out that the gossip was untrue.  But, after a while, when the only interaction I had with her was via Facebook, I saw a different side to her.  She was quite rude to me online and I ended up unfriending her on Facebook.  I realised that what the gossips were saying had some merit.

That's the hard thing about friendships.  Sometimes people are nasty and start rumours that aren't true.  But sometimes they are just wanting to warn people not to become friends with a toxic person.  To be honest, I've wanted to warn others NOT to be friends with some people because of a negative interaction I've had.  At the same time, we're all different and attracted to different qualities in our friends.  A person I think is rude, you might think is lovely and vice versa.

It's a tough one.

The Suffering Competition

What's one of the worst things a friend can say to you when you're finding life hard?

"You're not the only one."

What? I hear you say.  Surely they're being empathetic, they're being....nice.

You see, it all depends on the tone.

They could mean, Don't feel alone.  I understand what you're going through, because I'm going through it, too.  That's being nice.

Then there's, You're not the only one with a hard life.  Mine is harder.  My husband works longer hours, my kids' behaviour is more challenging, I don't have supportive family, I'm in worse health, I have less friends.  So, don't you dare complain, because my life's WORSE.

I've had people do the latter to me and it really hurts.  I'm in no way implying that my life is the HARDEST there EVER is.  I'm saying that I'M finding life hard right now.  I'm struggling to cope with what's on my plate.

You see, when women make life into a kind of suffering competition it makes it more intimidating for other women to open up and be authentic.

Remember, your friend is is finding life is hard for THEM.

Friendships Forged in the Trenches

I'm in two minds about whether friendships that start and bloom in the midst of shared suffering are a good thing, or not.

Take my experience in the Mother Baby Unit, for instance.

I bonded with most of the ladies in there quickly, and our shared experiences led us to become fast friends. They understood what I was going through more than many of my other friends and family could. That's not a slur on anyone....sometimes we just can't understand a particular trial someone is going through, unless we've been through it ourselves. While in the MBU, one of the ladies started a secret Facebook group so we could stay in touch after we were discharged.  As we were all gradually deemed well enough to return to the real world, we continued to share our struggles and sorrows via Facebook, and tried to spur each other on.

Recently, I was wondering about how one of the ladies was going, as I'd heard she'd been back to the MBU. She was also on my personal Facebook friends list, so I went to send her a private message, only to discover she was no longer on there. I assumed she must have chosen to deactivate her account. Then I wrote a message in our secret group, asking if anyone had heard from her as it appeared she was no longer on Facebook. A few of the other ladies replied, saying she hadn't deactivated her account, that they could still see her profile, but that she had removed herself from our group. I then realised what had happened....she had unfriended and blocked me.

I was in shock, I felt embarrassed that I was the only one she had blocked (I would understand if she'd blocked all of us, assuming that maybe she didn't want to be reminded of the MBU), I was worried that I'd said or done something inadvertently that had hurt her. The other ladies reassured me that it was highly unlikely I'd done anything wrong, that she must be just going through some stuff, and it was her way of dealing with it, and not to worry. I still couldn't stop wracking my brains for a bit, worrying about what I might have done. I have no other way of getting in touch with her, so I have to leave it in God's hands and move on.

That's the thing about friendships between two people with depression....as much as they can be comforting, there's also the potential for much hurt when one or both of you are going through hard times. People handle things differently, and I have no idea what goes through their heads that leads to the decisions they make, although I guess it makes perfect sense to them (or maybe not). When I'm really down, I make decisions to reduce the hurt (i.e. putting up walls to protect myself from certain people). Sometimes I just can't bear other people's burdens.

Friendships forged in the trenches.....are they a blessing?

Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.

Quote of the Day

Anyone can show up when you're happy. But the ones who stay by your side when your heart falls apart, they are your true friends.

- Unknown

Becoming a Student of Your Friends

Want to know how to be a good friend? Become a student of your friend.

I know for me personally, I feel loved when my friends know me well. When they remember things I've said, my likes and dislikes. It's lovely getting a birthday present which is so 'you'.

It's not a great feeling getting given clothes as a gift that are three sizes too big (when they're around me regularly). 

On the contrary, it's fantastic getting quirky, useful presents because they know I'm not a fan of clutter and dust collectors.

One way to get ideas on how to bless your friends is to really listen to what they say and save messages where they mention interests, likes/dislikes etc. Carry a notebook and write it down, or make a note in your phone. If you're out shopping and see something they'd like, buy it and save it until their birthday. Those 'getting to know you' questionnaires circulated via email and Facebook are excellent for getting to know your friends better.

Study your friends and look for ways to bless them.

Quote of the Day

Good friends help you find important things when you have lost them...things like your smile, your hope and your courage.
- Doe Zantamata

Outgrown

Have you ever wondered if you're outgrowing some friendships? Or if some friends feel like they're outgrowing you?

Sometimes, as much as you don't want to feel that way, the little quirks about someone that you once found amusing are now annoying. You feel you've changed over the years, but they're still obsessing over the same petty gossip and drama from 10 years ago.

It's not necessarily about being in different stages of life, although this can be a factor. I firmly believe friendships can survive changes in circumstances, but it requires understanding and willingness from both parties. 

A lot of it's about maturity. Some people grow up, some don't. 

Humour

For me, an essential thing in a friendship is a shared sense of humour, or at least an understanding and appreciation of each other's humour.

I find it very difficult (read: impossible) to be friends with someone who:

• Is too serious and flashes me weird or condescending looks for laughing at something they don't find funny.
• Laughs at everything, like nothing is sacred.
• Thinks I'm being funny and laughs at me when I'm being serious.
• Has a crude sense of humour (racist, sexist etc.).
• Has a sarcastic sense of humour.

A true friend is one who I can laugh with so hard, no sound comes out.

A fellow weirdo is what I need.

You Can't Always Be Switzerland

It's nice when all of your friends get along, isn't it?  Whether they are from the same friendship circle, or from different ones, peace among your friends is good.  It certainly makes your special occasions a lot easier.

But what about when two (or more) of your friends are at war?

A lot of people think Switzerland was smart during the two World Wars.  Little country, surrounded by warring countries.  It was best for them to remain neutral, a 'safe place' where both sides could come.  That way they don't get their butt blown sky high, don't have to choose sides, and can continue to be friends with everyone.

But when it comes to resolving conflict between our friends, we can't always be Switzerland.

As painful as it is, as much as it drags us out of our comfort zones, as much as we risk one or both of our friends hating us for calling a spade a spade, sometimes we MUST intervene, we MUST get involved, we MUST work for peace PROPERLY.

Here are some wrong approaches I think individuals and churches make when it comes to resolving (or ignoring) conflict:

The "Don't Fight, Kids.  Kiss and Make Up" Approach
This is when we hear about two friends fighting and, instead of trying to get to the bottom of the issue, we treat them like kids.  It's assuming the issue is a petty one, but often it's not.  Sometimes it's a serious issue that needs a wise third party to intervene, listen to both sides, and help resolve the conflict properly.  Kids may go to their parents whinging about each other, but if two adults come to you wanting help to resolve an issue, don't assume they're fighting over a toy or a lolly.  As painstaking as it may be, they're coming to you for help.  Even if they don't want help, they need it, so intervene.  Telling two people to kiss and make up is just patronising and rude.

The "You're Both Sinners" Approach
Yes, it's true that all people involved in the conflict are sinners....but that doesn't mean they're equally to blame in this particular conflict.  It doesn't mean that both need to apologise.  Sometimes it's one person blatantly causing all the trouble and THEY'RE the one who needs to apologise - not both.

The Ostrich Approach
This could otherwise be called the 'Keep Your Head in the Sand', or "You're Both My Friends, I Don't Want To Get Involved" approach.  It's basically what Switzerland does.  It's about self-preservation instead of standing up for what is right.  What if the conflict is over adultery, or abuse of some kind?  What if one friend is slandering another out of jealousy?  Are you really ok with being friends with both of them while one is behaving badly? Yes, you may lose the friend you end up confronting, but if you do nothing, you may just end losing the friend you stood by and watched being hurt.

Not only does the unwillingness to resolve conflict between friends happen, it also happens a lot in churches.  Yes, probably a lot of arguments are petty and time-consuming.  But some aren't.  Sometimes there is serious sin.  Last year, Duncan was nominated to be an elder at our church (he didn't end up becoming one) and before he accepted the nomination, I asked him, "Are you prepared to be involved in conflict resolution as an elder?"  He thought long and hard about it before accepting the nomination.

Sometimes we think that by standing back we're avoiding a full-blown war, with people dragged in from all directions.  But sometimes a mature person needs to step in to put the smoke or small fire out before it becomes a blaze.

We can't always be Switzerland.

Friends of Friends

It has been said that often when you marry someone, you marry their friends and family.

The same can be true for friendships.

Inevitably you are going to meet your friends' other friends at some stage.  Sometimes this is fine.  Sometimes this is very uncomfortable.

Mostly I've got along with my friends' friends quite well.  But sometimes I've been left wondering just what my friend sees in them.  I've been to friends' birthday parties where I've TRIED to be friendly to their other friends, only to be looked at like I was a vile slug needing to be squished.  This is usually among really glamorous, trendy people, who I would never fit in with in a million years.  They've looked at me like they were wondering why our mutual friend was friends with someone like me.

I quite enjoy catching up with friends of friends at our mutual friend's birthday or whatever.  While I've never actually struck up a firm friendship with them where I would see them individually, it has been nice to chat to them.

The hard side is watching from the sidelines while my friend's friends lead them astray.  I've wanted to say something, to tell them that their wonderful new friend is not a great influence on them.  It's horrible watching friends with strong convictions suddenly being negatively influenced to drink too much, stop going to church, see a non-Christian guy, be influenced by worldliness and materialism because of a new friend who has come into their life.

Have you become good friends with a friend of a friend?

Friendships and Ageism

Duncan and I have quite a few friends turning 40 in the coming months.  The older I get the more I appreciate having friends of all different ages.

I'm in my thirties and I have friends in their twenties and friends in their forties.  I have a few close female friends who are in their late thirties, about eight or nine years older than myself.  The older we all get, the less age matters.  Well, it does to me.

Why do I get on so well with women older than me?  It's because when we're together, age doesn't factor into the friendship.  We're friends because we get on well, we share worldviews and interests.  We're all adults, we've all reached maturity of sorts.  Some of us are married with kids, some aren't.  It would be naive to say different life stages don't impact on friendships, but age certainly doesn't.

I can't be friends with someone who treats me like a kid.  I don't want to treat my friends who are in their twenties like they are immature kids, because they aren't.  Sometimes older women treat me like I know nothing, like they're my mum or auntie and can boss me around.  I can't be friends with those people.  I need respect to be friends with someone.

It's great having friends the same age, who you went to school with, who you grew up with.  Those are special friendships with special memories.  But, even when they're older, many women tend to gravitate towards other women of the same age.  Maybe instead of being instantly drawn to the fellow 41-year-old first-time mum, try striking up a conversation with the 21-year-old first-time mum.  You might find that the 20 year age gap means nothing now you are both in the same boat as first-time mums.  Try befriending women 7-10 years younger (or older) than yourself.  You're not 15 and they're not seven anymore.  You're both adults.

It might just be the start of a treasured friendship.

Quote of the Day

If a friendship lasts longer than seven years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime.
- Unknown

Frenemies?

Why on earth do some people friend request people in Facebook who they despise in real life?

I know several people who can't stand to be in the same room as each other, yet they have become Facebook 'friends'.

So, so weird.

This is a mug I found in Red Dot a few months back.

I don't get it.  Please explain...

Rejoicing With Those Who Rejoice

I have never really understood why so many women would rather watch their worst enemy succeed than their closest friend.  Why do we often react so badly when our nearest and dearest get something we desperately want for ourselves?  A man, a baby, a job, a role, a place on a sporting team...

Rejoicing with the rejoicing can often be harder than mourning with the mourning.

But it is essential to being a good friend.

I remember when I got my Year 12 TEE results.  I got 94 (the highest possible score is 99.95).  A close friend who had failed was one of the happiest for me.  Looking back, that must have been so difficult for her, and I will never forget her graciousness and support.

Sadly, I have not always been the greatest at congratulating others who have succeeded or acquired things I want for myself.  I've been jealous.  I've avoided them in person.  I've moped and moaned about my own circumstances in their presence, taking the spotlight off them.  I haven't 'liked' their posts on Facebook because I'm so jealous.  Why should they have it when I can't?  I have been a poor excuse for a friend at times, that's for sure.

I found it hard to watch friends marry when I was single.  Even now, I struggle with seeing posts about friends' babies who are younger than Rory, but more advanced than him.  There are babies six months younger than him who walked before him and talk better than him now.  I struggled seeing posts from mums with perfect sleeping babies when I was in the midst of sleep deprivation and exhaustion last year when Rory was waking every hour during the night.  I thought it so unfair that some mums could just go out and get on with their lives as if they never had a baby when I was cut down with postnatal depression.  Why did they get it so easy and I get it so hard?

I've also been on the receiving end of jealous backlash.  I remember when I was working at Curtin, I got a permanent position that a colleague had also been after.  She was nasty to me for weeks afterward (and this woman was more than twice my age - when do women grow up, seriously?), then she apologised, then kept the cattiness going *sigh*.

In the latest play I'm in, I've become aware that my part was coveted by several other cast members.  It does make me feel very uncomfortable around them and stops me enjoying myself as much.  It's horrible with people having daggers for you.  I've noticed the competitiveness and bitchiness is especially prevalent in the arts.  It makes me want to scream, "Here, if you want it so badly, have it.", but then I think, No, I worked hard for this.  If they were truly my friends they'd support me and suck it up.

I'm well aware that every time I post pictures of my wedding or of Rory on Facebook, there are people I consider friends who desperately want that for themselves.  I don't want to rub my happiness in my face, yet I don't want to hide all my blessings away either, pretending they aren't really blessings.  Somehow we need to find that balance.

The challenge of true friendship: to smile at, hug and congratulate your friend while you are crying on the inside.

Related posts: 
Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back
Get On Your Soapbox #23
The Envy of Eve
Grieving and Coveting

Truth in Love

Our society seems to think that being a good friend means telling your friends how 'awesome' they are, patting them on the back...even when they make some really bad life decisions.  It means saying nothing when an abusive friend constantly uses you as their personal punching bag.  It means lending them money when you know they'll waste it, letting them drive home when they're drunk, lying for them to cover up something dodgy....

If you believe those 'shared' forward thingies on Facebook, a true friend will help you hide the body if you commit a murder.

Rubbish!

Sometimes the best kind of friend is the one who'll give you a kick up the bum when you need it...in the nicest possible way.  A true friend has the guts to say what needs to be said out of their love and concern for you.  Because they're your friend, they're NOT just going to sit back and watch you flush your life down the toilet...or help you do it.

Now, I'm not saying that 'speaking the truth in love' means voicing whatever thoughts and opinions you've held deep down about your friend.  It doesn't mean telling them green is so not their colour.  It doesn't mean telling them they have a big pimple on their nose (they probably know that anyway).  It doesn't mean finding every little fault.

It's about the big things.  For Christians, it's about living to bring glory to Jesus in all areas of life.  Let's face it, we all suck at it at times and need some help.  That's why God gave us the church.  We all have blind spots.  We all need someone to gently point out serious things to us.

I dislike confrontation as much as the next person and I don't get my jollies out of people pointing out my faults.  I remember when my housemate pointed out that I was watching too much TV.  It was 2005, the year after I'd finished uni, and I was just so elated to come home from work and NOT spend my evenings studying, that I kind of became a bit addicted to the box.  She had the guts to gently point this out to me.  And because she was gentle, I listened.  She was right.  I was wasting so much time and hadn't really noticed. 

Yay for friends like that.  Yay for friends who have the courage to do and say what's best for us, out of their love for us.

Bible Verse of the Day

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 27:6