The Five Love Languages of Children

This is another book a friend lent me. It is the children's version of Gary Chapman's bestseller among the Christian and secular world alike - The Five Love Languages. I have the original book, but it is another one that's been sitting in my bookcase, waiting patiently to be read (I'm hoping to read it with Duncan one day). Even so, I consider myself quite well acquainted with the love languages - physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. The idea is that we give and receive love in different ways, so that while we may think we're being loving to someone, they may not feel loved, because we aren't speaking their love language. We usually have a primary love language, although often enjoy giving and receiving using more than one. Just as we need to speak our spouse's love language, we also need to with our children.

There were a few things I learned/were reiterated from this book:

• A child's primary love language often changes. At the moment, I think Rory's receiving love language is quality time and Flynn's is physical touch.
•  If their behaviour is not great, it is often because their emotional needs through their love language are not being met. We need to fill their 'emotional tanks' with love.
• Using someone else's love language might not come naturally to us (because we have a different love language), but we need to persevere.
• If you aren't sure of your child's love language, you should observe them carefully and ask them questions which may show which way they're wired. For example, for a five-year-old (Rory's age), I might ask, "Would you like for me to bake you an apple pie (acts of service) or for us to take a walk in the park (quality time)?" "Would you rather wrestle (physical touch) or read a story together (quality time)?" "While I am out of town for two days, would you rather I bring you a present (gift) or write you a poem about what a wonderful boy you are (words of affirmation)?" (pages 111-12)
• When you keep your child's love tank full with unconditional love, you will be able to discipline them with the best results. For example, if a child's love language is quality time, punishing them by isolating them may crush their sense of being loved.

I felt some of the book was a bit guilt-trippy in places, and this is something most parents don't need as we are sincerely doing our best in this very tough gig. There is a chapter about anger (which I struggle with). Overall, I felt as if this book was mainly what I already know.

It Will Pass

This makes me sad:

I won't always cry, Mummy, 
When you leave the room,
And my supermarket tantrums
Will end too soon.
I won't always wake, Daddy,
For cuddles through the night,
And one day will miss
Having a chocolate face to wipe.
You won't always wake to find my foot
Is kicking you out of bed,
Or find me sideways on your pillow,
Where you want to lay your head.
You won't always have to carry me
In asleep from the car,
Or piggy back me down the road,
When my little legs can't walk that far.
So, cherish every cuddle,
Remember them all.
One day, Mummy,
I won't be this small.
- Unknown

 

Five Year Re-enactment

Surely it cannot be five years since I had my first precious cuddles as a new mum?

 

Alas, it is.  My big boy celebrated his fifth birthday on the 19th January.

Since we were away at the time, he had a couple of parties - one with family and friends in Dunsborough, and a low-key barbecue in Perth.  Plus there was a very exciting trip to Scitech on his birthday. He and Flynn both threw tantrums when it was time to leave - partly because they were having so much fun, and partly because the lights and noise were overstimulating.

He wanted a dinosaur cake, so I made him 'Stella Stegosaurus'
the Australian Women's Weekly cake book.

Scitech

Annual Leave is Almost Gone

Duncan took three weeks off after harvest finished just before New Year. We spent a few days in Albany, just under a week in Dunsborough, and a week in Perth.  He also spent just shy of a week at home, assembling our new chook house.

That's most of the annual leave gone now. A great time was had by all, though.

Flynn enjoying the swings in Albany

The customary ride on Grandma's gopher

I took Flynn to a play centre in Perth to catch up with one of
my friends from the Mother Baby Unit and her daughter

Kings Park

Friday Funny

For anyone who wonders what those weird Aussies are on about:

Clumsy

Well, the bike riding is off to a great start....not!

This whopper of a bruise is on the inside of my left thigh. How did I do it? I was coasting along on my bike...that's right...coasting...not riding, more like scooting. I stopped and tried to get off, and my dress must have got caught on the seat (I know, riding a bike, wearing a dress...stupid) and over the bike and I went. Duncan rushed over and managed to sort of catch me before I toppled over completely. I think my leg banged into the seat.

I will keep trying.

Crazy Dog People

We had to reassure the worried grandparents on the phone last week, that when we told them our family was growing, it was not another grandchild, but a granddog!

Welcome, Shadow

Now there are three of them at the door

Kisses for Auntie Maya

Shadow is part Labrador, part Border Collie and is only seven months old. We hadn't planned on getting another dog, but, last Monday, Duncan received a message from a truck driver who did some work for the farm during harvest.  Due to a change of circumstances, he needed to rehome his dog. He seemed like a nice guy and a responsible pet owner, but I was surprised that Duncan agreed.  Duncan doesn't like male dogs because they pee on cars, hence we've never had a male animal, bar the roosters.

Maya has welcomed the pup and indulged in some play fighting with him.  Gypsy, on the other hand, has got her tail in a bit of a knot over the newcomer.  For the past couple of years, she has been trying to take Maya's mantle as top dog, so every advance Shadow made was met with a fierce snarl.  I'm sure she'll come round eventually.

The boys love Shadow, but are a bit intimidated by his size (he's already bigger than the other dogs).

He's a lovely addition to the family.

The Difference A Year Makes

The first day of pre-primary (and full-time school) went a lot better than the first day of kindy last year.

This year, he was all smiles and keen to see his friends and start a new school year.

I'm sure the novelty will wear off when the tiredness sets in. But, for now, I'm just rejoicing at having a child who went to school (or did anything) with no dramas. It's nice to be in the other camp for a change.