Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: RSVPs

Ho ho ho, I bet you're thinking. Yes, many of you will know how I feel about people who don't RSVP. I have already mentioned it before in a previous post. And those thoughts aren't exactly kind ones.

The RSVP date for our wedding has now been and gone (it was last Wednesday). I was expecting to have to call half of our guest list to see if they were actually coming because this happened to my bridesmaid, Rhianon in the lead up to her wedding nearly three and a half years ago. I remember feeling disgusted when she told me.

Actually the vast majority have been very good and RSVPed on time. We've had to chase up a few people and surprisingly they've been people who are usually very prompt in this area. Most people are now accounted for except for a few we just can't get in touch with....very frustrating!

Duncan wanted to be in charge of RSVPs because he said he wanted to take something off my 'to do' list. I was very grateful for this. I also suspect that he knew that if I'd been the RSVP person, I'd have cast out anyone who RSVPed late or not at all and made them sit outside where there'd be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I've said it before and I've said it again - not RSVPing to an event that you're asked to RSVP to is really not good enough. Unless you're facing a major disaster or helping someone else who's in the middle of one, there really is no excuse. "I'm busy" or "I forgot" are not excuses. Guess what? Duncan and I are flat out with work and organising this wedding but we've still RSVPed on time to other things. People who don't respond because they're hoping a better offer will come along should learn to make a decision, stick to it and become people of integrity.

Here are my tips to RSVPing on time:

• Don't get someone else to do it for you (unless you're part of a couple or family, that's different). If you ask a friend to do it for you and they forget, then you're just going to look like a slacker.
• Put the invitation somewhere prominent where you'll see it all the time such as on the fridge or sticky-taped to a mirror. Don't stuff it away in a drawer or let it get buried in piles of junk.
• Do it straight away as soon as you get the invitation. Don't say "I'll do it later," because chances are you'll forget. If you need some time to figure out if you can come (ie. because of work schedules), do it as soon as you find out whether you're free on that day.
• Put a reminder on your mobile or your work calendar or something that will pop up and make a loud noise to remind you.
• Don't just assume the hosts know you're coming. They are not psychic. It's amazing when you follow people up, how they go, "Yeah, course I'm coming." Well, how was I supposed to know that if they don't tell me?

Thank you to all those who have RSVPed on time whether yay or nay. We really appreciate you doing this. You've certainly made our lives a lot easier and helped us keep our phone bills down a bit.

Get On Your Soapbox #8

Today is St Patrick's Day. It's also the day that many Aussies will choose to get absolutely hammered for an occasion many of us know nothing or very little about. I didn't know much until I looked it up.

On the radio this morning, the announcers were asking each other if they knew what St Pat's Day is all about. None of them knew so they were inviting Irish people to call in and tell them.

All they knew was that they were going to the pub to have a few too many Guinnesses or Kilkennies.

It really gets my goat how Aussies use other countries important days as a massive boozefest. They really have no idea that that day might be really important to that particular country or people but to them, "Err I guess any excuse to get smashed will do."

It's the same with our public holidays such as Easter and Australia Day. I'm not saying you have to be of that particular culture to celebrate but at least know what you're celebrating, for goodness sake!

Sale of the Century

Recently, I did what every stressed and tired person really shouldn't do.

I had a garage sale.

I was very very tired but by the time the day of the sale came around, it was too late to cancel. I'd already advertised in the Quokka and emailed a lot of people. Besides, I thought getting rid of some clutter might help my stress levels....sort of.

It was actually quite relaxing. My housemate, Sarah and I sat outside all day moving with the shade and occasionally prayed, "God, please send some people to buy our crap."

Then I decided to up the advertising

Some of it got sold (Sarah made far more money than I did) but some of the bigger stuff is still waiting for new homes. See the items below plus there's also a pedestal fan, dressing table, bedside table and computer desk.

It's so cheap. Buy buy buy while you can. Prices negotiable.

Email me at seddyed at hotmail dot com or leave a comment and I'll get in touch.

Funky phone

Barbecue. It needs a good clean but works fine.

Little TV

Single bed doona

Single bed doona

Dog stretcher

All's Good

I had my stitches out today. Good news.....it wasn't a melanoma.

Hooray!

Thank you to God and those who prayed.

The Drugs Don't Work

Stories like this make me glad that I'm not taking sleeping pills anymore. In case, you were wondering, I haven't taken them for a few weeks now. The doctor told me to take the prescription ones for only three nights, otherwise they can become addictive.

Those pills were terrible because they only put me in a light sleep which meant very vivid dreams. One night I dreamed the Olsen twins were my sisters and were going to be in my bridal party. The next night, I dreamed I was back in 1996 (aged 13) and I was still with Duncan (aged 15) and we were at Craig's 21st. When I told Craig that I didn't know him in 1996, that he didn't meet many of us at the party until years later, he tried to convince me that we met in Pizza Hut in 1996........weird!

My sleeping is better. Not great, but better. I still wake up a fair bit during the night but at least I can drift off to sleep earlier. The first couple of nights without the pills were so bad, I was almost crying because I couldn't get to sleep and was very tempted to take the pills again. But I didn't.

Still at least I haven't had any night adventures in a while ;)

One Night at the Ruby Room

I go nightclubbing once in a blue moon. Not because I don't enjoy dancing. I LOVE dancing. What I don't like is the whole nightclubbing culture. Believe it or not, I actually go to have fun with my friends. I'm not there to 'pick up', get smashed or even to meet people. It's not that I'm against meeting new people, I just don't see how you can meet people properly in a nightclub. It's so fake. People aren't themselves. A lot of them are only there for one thing. And believe me, I don't think I'm some kind of babe that all the guys would want me or anything...a lot of them are so desperate or out of it, they wouldn't care if I had two heads, four horns and tentacles!

The last time I went out clubbing was October (shock horror). It was the night of our engagement party and we were joined by some of our guests at the Ruby Room. For those of you who don't know, the Ruby Room is the nightclub at the Burswood. It's meant to be a kind of upmarket nightclub and it came recommended by friends who had been there before. It was my first time there.

I didn't find it any more 'upmarket' than a lot of other clubs. There were people who were dressed pretty casually for a start and there were the same drunken yobbos that frequent other clubs. The music was hip hop crap and too slow to dance to.

But that's not the point of this post. It's not to pick fault with the Ruby Room itself. It's to look at nightclubbing culture as a whole.

While I was there I was surrounded by two different 'packs' - the guys with their gelled hair, trying to look tough with their big tats on their upper arms and the scantily clad, heavily made up girls. There were signs at the bar saying that intoxicated people would not be served but that was an absolute joke. The bar staff looked quite shy and intimidated and did nothing to turn away the loud, uncouth guys who would push other people roughly out of the way and demand yet another drink. I wished they'd had bar staff with balls and spines.

You couldn't dance for five minutes without someone touching you inappropriately. While Sarah, Craig and I were dancing, a guy came up behind Craig, and I don't know what he was doing but it looked like he was trying to bum dance with him. I tried not to make eye contact with anyone and when a yobbo tried to get my attention, I pretended not to hear him.

The whole experience reminded me of the lyrics of that Good Charlotte song, Misery.

Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
They're dying inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people

And then instead of despising these people and getting angry at them, I started to feel sorry for them, to even have some compassion. For many of these young people, they know no different. Clubbing is their life. A typical week for them is work work work or uni uni uni and then it's going out and getting smashed on weekends and spending the remainder of their weekends nursing hangovers. It's a tragic waste.

I know many people who swore they would never live that kind of lifestyle only to become tantalised by what the world tries to sell as a 'good time'. Even Christians I know of have fallen for the ways of the nightclubbing culture, believing that they'll come back to Christ when the party's over. But then they're just having way too much fun and Jesus seems, well, boring by comparison.

By no means am I saying having a drink and a dance at a club or pub is wrong. But it's more than that, isn't it? It's a culture that screams that unless you embrace all the ungodly aspects of clubbing, then you are wasting the best years of your life, that you're old, that you're BORING.

I wonder if these happy, plastic people are really empty inside? They tend to travel in packs, they all dress like clones. But when they're alone, I wonder if they're truly happy with their life. Or if the heavy makeup is really a mask?

My brother looks like many of those guys in the Ruby Room and he's very much into that scene. But I know that he's not as secure as he makes out and a lot of it is a tough act he puts on around his mates; that he's actually a decent guy. I know that my friends who enjoy that scene are actually real, lovely people but maybe if someone just saw them but didn't know them, they might assume they were plastic.

It made me realise how blessed I am to know Jesus and I want them to know, love, follow and serve him too. For that's where real life is found. To show them that a life lived his way is what brings ultimate fulfilment. And to get to know some of these people away from the nightclubbing scene, away from the peer pressure of their packs and know them as real people who may indeed be empty and not plastic.

Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: End in Sight

This will be a much more positive post in this series.

I thought I'd let you all know how the wedding plans are coming along....because I'm starting to get sick of being asked. I know people are asking with the best intentions and because they care; it just starts to get a bit repetitive after a while.
Wedding planning is not a sprint....it's a marathon. You have to take it slowly, bit by bit, otherwise you'll get exhausted and won't finish the race. I was a sprinter at school and a poor long distance runner so maybe that's why wedding planning and I are NOT good friends.

Dress
I've paid it off and it's still sitting in the shop. I bought it off the rack and it has stains on it so the shop is cleaning it for me for free. I'm about to make an appointment with a lady Duncan knows who is a dressmaker so she can do the fitting. She is much cheaper than bridal shops.

Jewellery
My cousin, Gab, is making it for me. She used to own a bead shop with my auntie and I worked for them while I was at uni. I emailed her a picture of what I wanted and she's now emailed me photos of the finished creation. It's fabulous, I love it. Now we just have to meet up so she can do the fitting.

Shoes
That was a painstaking mission. I looked EVERYWHERE for shoes but couldn't find anything. I wanted flat shoes because I have a problem with my right foot and can't balance in heels. After months of looking, I finally decided to get custom-made ones. Much more expensive but I'll get lots of wear out of them afterwards.

Veil
I'm borrowing my bridemaid, Rhianon's. She just has to get it back from someone else who borrowed it off her.

Hair accessories
Again, couldn't find what I wanted in the shops (I must just be very unfashionable). Bek put me onto ebay but I ended up finding some on another site which I have ordered.

Hair
I have booked a mobile hairdresser who came highly recommended from friends who used her for their weddings. I've picked a hairstyle I like from a magazine. Now I just need to book a hair trial.

Makeup
My bridesmaid, Christina, is doing my makeup, her own and the rest of the bridal party. She did Emma's makeup for her wedding plus she does modelling and has done a makeup course so I'll know she'll be great. We'll be getting ready at her house which is just several minutes drive from the church.

Cars
We've hired some cars and asked friends to be chauffeurs for us.

Bridesmaids
The dresses should arrive from over east in a matter of days. The 'maids all came for dinner at my house last week (special thanks to Rianna who drove all the way from Albany) and we made some plans. They've picked jewellery and hairstyles and will go shopping for their own shoes. They sent me out of the room after dinner so they could continue plotting for my kitchen tea and hens night.

Groom and Groomsmen
They've hired their suits.

Church
We're getting married at Scarborough Church of Christ and one of the guys there is doing sound for us.

Reception Venue and Catering
These were some of the first things to be sorted.

Cake
A lady who knows Craig is making our wedding cake. She made his and Sarah's as well. We have met with her and given her a picture of a cake we liked and also got to taste some of her cake as well. Very nice!

Table Decorations
My mum is taking care of that. I just gave her an idea of what I wanted and I think she's very much enjoyed having it as her little project. We'll be setting up the function room the day before the wedding.

Flowers
A friend, Philippa, from church who is a floral designer is doing them for us. She's also doing the afternoon tea for us after the ceremony. We've paid for everything so that's all good.

Photographer
What started off as a fruitless search, ended with us finally getting a photographer. She photographed my former workmate's wedding back in 2006. We have met with her and showed her some examples of photos we like, completed her checklist of what we want photos of and have paid a deposit. We have some possible locations in mind but much will depend on the day.

Videographer
A friend of Duncan's.

Bonbonieres
Have an idea of what we want but haven't done them yet.

Invitations
I don't want to talk about them. After all the drama they caused, they're out and we're now starting to get RSVPs.

Orders of service
Haven't done them yet. Need to meet with David (pastor) to sort it all out.

Ushers
My brother, Tim, and Duncan's cousin, Liz.

Bible reading
Haven't picked someone yet although we have a few people in mind. My mum asked me if she could read the Bible and we weren't sure how to respond as she's not Christian and probably won't believe anything she reads. Goodness knows, why she wants to read the Bible then but I think she just really wants to be involved in the ceremony. Duncan and I were talking about it and we agreed although we'd prefer a Christian to read, we realise that God may indeed be working on her heart and we don't want to get in his way. She said she won't be offended if we said no but I have something else I'd like her to do. I want her to come down the aisle and have and her and Dad both give me away. I think she'll like that.

Prayer during the ceremony
Duncan's dad is going to pray for us at the ceremony.

Ceremony Music
We picked three Christian songs we liked. Our friend Rohan is our 'musical director' (he's done countless weddings) and he's busy recruiting our friends to play in the 'band'.

DJ
This almost ended up as a disaster when our original DJ pulled out on us two weeks ago (he said he never agreed to be our DJ?!?). Rather than panic, I had this strange feeling that God was in complete control and just a few days later we had another DJ - Chris, a guy we know from Christian circles. He's not a professional DJ but has done it for weddings before and we know he'll do a good job. We've picked out all the music ourselves including the processional, signing the register, recessional, entry at the reception, dinner, first dance and dancing songs

MC
Our friend, James. I'm expecting a few anti-Eagles jokes. Maybe I shouldn't say that - he's read this blog before.

Application for marriage form thingy
It has been submitted so we'll be legally married. Yay!

Honeymoon
I have no idea where I'm going. Duncan's organised it all.

Beauty treatments
Have to book all that. I really don't need it anyway ;)


I've probably forgotten to mention something but, anyway, we're getting there. Slowly but surely.