Friday Funny

HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3 Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4 Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Labrador: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving, who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


HOW MANY CATS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

Cat: Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:


"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

Something You Don't See Everyday!

While I was on holiday in Albany last month, my mum and I had just sat down to watch a movie on a Friday night when we heard a loud crash which seemed to be coming from the backyard. She and my dad and I raced outside to be confronted with this.
























Our neighbours from over the back fence have their garage backing onto the fence. As soon as we'd arrived outside, the guy who lived there had come through the fence and was looking in horror at the state of his car. Apparently he'd lent it to his partner's friend who had been over at their place and wanted to borrow their car to go and pick up another friend. Instead of reversing out of the garage she must have accelerated forward at a terrific pace, smashed through the rear wall of their garage and right through our back fence. When my dad asked the guy if his partner's friend had been drunk, he replied, "She must have been." Anyone must have been to do that! Why he'd lent his car to a drunk person I don't know; I wouldn't want a drunk person anywhere near the driver's seat of my car or any car. But he obviously didn't realise just how drunk she was because he was very devastated about his car. Luckily the driver was ok.

My parents are renting so they don't have to worry too much about organising repairs for the fence. Someone came to tow the car away the next morning but I don't know if the fence has been fixed yet.

That sure was my bit of excitement for the night!

The Facebook Reunion

It's true a lot of people don't like Facebook....it's weird, a time waster, provides an excuse for not catching up face to face, people can put up embarrassing photos of you for all to see.....

I like Facebook, it has many pros in my opinion. But one in particular. It helps you reconnect with people you lost touch with years ago which can lead to renewed relationships in the 'real world'.

In September last year, a girl whose name I didn't recognise added me as a friend on Facebook. Only when I saw her profile picture did I realise that she was an old friend, Lesley, from primary school who I hadn't seen pretty much since then. She's now married (which is why I didn't recognise her name) and has kids. We lost touch because we went to different high schools, had a fight and Albany is big enough for two people to live in the same town and not bump into each other for years. Once she added me on Facebook, I apologised for being a teenage cow, she laughed and we were friends again. Yes, Facebook has its good points.

Since Lesley now lives in Newcastle, it was a bit difficult for us to be anything other than Facebook friends but when I heard she was coming to Albany for a bit, I thought I'd seize the chance to catch up in person. Duncan had to work so I went to Albany alone last month and Lesley and I met up for coffee at Dome (her husband was away overseas).

We'd chatted freely and easily on Facebook and it was never ever awkward but I was still worried about how meeting up in person would go. I've heard many stories about online friends who experience a wonderful virtual relationship but struggle to maintain conversations in the real world. I was quite nervous about meeting up with Lesley again. It went ok. To be honest, I was surprised that she wasn't as open and chatty as she is on Facebook but I decided to interpret aloofness as shyness. At times I felt like I was the one keeping the conversation going but I realised that my nervousness was just being manifested differently to hers - into overt chattiness. After we resumed out Facebook interaction I was convinced that she'd indeed been shy as she is keen to catch up again sometime. I can't blame her for being shy I guess.....I was and it had been over 12 years!

Online is definitely easier in many ways although real life is more rewarding. Some can't stand the thought of having their monitors stripped away and people see them as they really are.....much more than words and photos on a page. To be honest I do enjoy hiding behind my monitor sometimes.

It also made me think about how I view God. Sometimes it seems like God is distant. I talk to him but we haven't met face to face. But there will come a day when Jesus will return, all will see him, and we who trust in him will dwell with him forever. As good as it will be, I know seeing him return will also be an experience that we cannot imagine and there will be no computers to hide behind. Awesome and good but scary.

Have you ever had an experience similar to mine? You've met up with someone you haven't seen for years or maybe met a fellow blogger for the first time and things were more awkward than you expected. Not bad, just awkward. I'd love to meet many of the people I interact with in the blogosphere but I'm worried that I won't be as I seem online...at least not straight away. And I'm also worried that they'll be shy and I'll be the one trying to keep the conversation going because I can't stand difficult silences.

Anyone want to meet up with me anyway? :)

Lesley and her kids, William and Chloe.

The Fowl Friends Have Names

I have consulted the blogosphere and Facebook to name our birds.

And their names are.......

• Attila the Hen (which I thought of but it was also suggested by Iris.)
• Rebeakah (yes that's ReBEAKah...which is one I thought of).
• Yolko (suggested by a Facebook friend).
• Ginny (which I got from Ginger which Amanda suggested but decided to make it Ginny instead because I'm a big Harry Potter fan!)

Thanks to all who contributed. I liked many other suggestions as well and I'm sure they'll be used in good time when Randolph gets his butt into gear and there are chickens....hopefully.

Name Our Hens Competition

Recently Duncan and I bought some new fowl friends.....four pullets and a rooster (the rooster was free).

We've been looking after our friend Jane's chooks for about a year now. We started off with four and sadly are now down to one. Up until a month ago, we had the last two, Meeny and Outcast, but Outcast had started looking sick for a while and spent a lot of time standing around with her head under her wing. Then one Sunday in October when I was in Albany, Duncan came home from church to find a hawk in the chook yard over Outcast's body. He spared me the grizzly details but he was certain the hawk must have seen her as an easy target and killed her rather than her dying first and it feeding off her carcass. Hawks like it fresh after all.

So now we only have Meeny left. I'm not sure how old she is but I'm guessing around five. She's an ISA Brown and an ex battery hen so she's heading towards retirement and only lays when she feels like it. We have to grab her eggs quickly too because despite us feeding her plenty of shell grit, she's an egg eater and doesn't like us taking her eggs.

As you can see from the photo, Meeny was very curious about my camera. Duncan doesn't believe that animals have personalities but I told him he's so wrong. I think it's incredibly interesting spending time in a chook yard and observing the politics that go on in there. Maybe I've just got too much time on my hands but I find chooks fascinating. Meeny is a bossy, dominant bird and as soon as we put the other chooks in her yard, she flew at them and pecked them, including the rooster who is twice her size. Even now she gets first choice of the food. I'm thinking of changing the spelling of her name to Meany ;) She's very tame and comes running up to me every time I come into the yard, thinking I have food for her and she pecks my boot. Maya finds her enthralling and Meeny's not the least bit afraid of a dog looking through the fence at her. Maya will lie outside the chook yard watching Meeny attack a piece of bacon rind (her favourite) and look in awe at this strange bird.

This is our rooster who I have named Randolph because we all know roosters are randy birds.

I've been told that Randolph looks like he is a very proud bird which is understandable of course because he has five hens to choose from. He's part ISA Brown and part something else, I can't remember what the breed is called but his dad is a big black rooster. He also seems to have a permanent surprised look and has learnt to crow but at completely random times. I have plans for him to be a breeding rooster. Duncan likes him too but thinks he has potential for other things. Lately we seem to be having many conversations like this....

Duncan: The rooster....the rooster for CHRISTMAS.

Me: Don't you dare hurt Randolph.

Duncan *smirking*: Oh but he won't feel a thing!

He is just stirring me. He knows that if I come home and find Randolph gone and a roast chicken in the oven, it'll be the worst for him!

And lastly, here are our four new unnamed pullets. They should start laying by Christmas. Presently they are a bit leggy and have no combs or wattles yet. Although they get bossed around by both Meeny and Randolph, they are cunning and it was hilarious watching them steal Meeny's bacon rind when she wasn't looking. She was NOT amused and they got a few pecks for it.

Now this is where you come in. Please help me name my hens by leaving a comment with your ideas. Be anonymous if you like. Please nothing unoriginal like Henny Penny or Henrietta. Be creative! Have a go!

Christians and Sport

Those of you who are regular, long-term readers of this blog, may remember this post I did back in March this year about how our faith needs to transcend into the realm of sport...whether as players or fans.

Then I was reading the GirlTalk blog last night and saw this post about a book which sounds like it's exactly what I was going on about. It's called Game Day for the Glory of God. Take a look here.

Now I really want to read it. If you're a somewhat sporty Christian, you might like to check it out too.