Job Snob

Over the past few weeks I have started the dreaded task of job hunting.

I'm not sure if I'm doing it because I really want a job or if other people really want me to get a job. Hmmm I suspect it's a bit of both.

I'm not entirely bored at home because us women can always find some pottering to do. However I do feel 'wasted'. Not drunk mind you, that's not what I spend my days doing. By 'wasted' I mean that I've completed the task I was staying home to do (unpack and organise the house) and now me staying home is a waste. I have no reason to stay home other than cooking and cleaning which don't take all day. I don't have kids to look after. I'm not sick and unable to work. I write only one day a week. Therefore there is no reason why I shouldn't be looking for a part-time job. I think for me to stay home and do nothing would be a waste of my abilities when I could be out there being useful to people.

When I moved here, I braced myself that it wasn't going to be like the city. I wouldn't have a lot of options. In fact, there are no librarian positions here as the public library is run by the shire officers. I would have to do something unrelated to my degree......and that was worrying me.

I applied at the shire but was told there were no positions available but they took my resume in case any vacancies came about. The only positions I saw available were for shops, supermarkets and cafes. I hate hospitality jobs, having worked in hospitality when I was 18....never again! One of the other vacant positions was at a gift/clothing/makeup/toy shop (basically an 'everything' shop) for a couple of days a week. Those hours would suit me perfectly and people I know were asking me whether I had applied. But there was something stopping me.

It took me a while to figure out why I was so reluctant to apply for this job. Basically the only reason I could put it down to was that......I'm a snob.

I DON'T look down on people who have lower paid jobs than I did in Perth. I think people should be happy doing what they love even if that's cleaning or being a checkout chick or a nightfill person. I don't know many people in those jobs who actually DO love it but if someone loves their job then that's great and it doesn't matter how 'lowly' society considers their occupation to be. But there was no way I was going to consider a position like that. If one of those jobs would make other people happy, that's fine, but they're not for me. I think part of it was that I'd studied my butt off for four years (three in Communication and Cultural Studies and one in Information and Library Studies) and I was going to work in an area related to what I'd worked towards. If I didn't then it'd be like those four years were for nothing.

In retrospect, I can see that God had much bigger reasons behind me going to uni other than getting a job (I became a Christian there for a start) but it didn't make it any easier applying for a job that really wasn't what I wanted just because I had to find work. Also I can see now that I care way too much about what other people think, particularly my former workmates at the library who are keeping in touch and are quite keen to know where I'll be working next. I have a feeling that they wouldn't be very impressed if I went from being a qualified librarian to working several days in a shop. I already copped enough weird stares when I told them I was moving to Buntine. To them, it must have looked like I was throwing a promising career away.

I know this is worldly thinking and it frustrates me so much because I don't want to think this way and I don't want to care what worldly people think. I want to enjoy my job and work well rather than climb a corporate ladder, gain prestige and make bucketloads of money....but it isn't easy to change your thinking, especially when there are so many people who will encourage you to think otherwise.

After much thinking and deliberating, I decided I would apply for that job. If I got the job and people in Perth asked me what I was doing, I would just tell them and ignore any raised eyebrows, knowing that I'm with Duncan and my marriage is far more important than any career.

I applied for the job and went for an interview a week ago. Slowly my perspective has changed. I could see that the role would take a bit of adjustment but I think that if I got the job I would really enjoy it. It is cruisy and people-oriented, just not as face-paced and stressful as working in Perth. But I also have peace that if I don't get the job then it's okay, that God is in control and I will work when he determines.

I'm supposed to hear back whether I'm successful or not.

I'm still waiting......