Hoodwinked

A friend lent me this book a few months back and, in true Sarah style, I've only just finished reading it.  She thought I could use some encouragement in this season of parenting small children...and she was right!

And this book IS very encouraging!  Although nauseatingly American at times (there are only so many times this Aussie can read 'momma' and 'kiddos'), it's a great read.  Here's are the motherhood 'myths' they attempt to debunk:

Myth #1: Motherhood is natural, easy and instinctive
Myth #2: The way I mother is the right (and only) way
Myth #3: I am 'just' a mom
Myth #4: Motherhood is all-consuming and all-fulfilling
Myth #5: A good mother can do it all, all at once
Myth #6: Motherhood is a rat race
Myth #7: Motherhood is the luck of the draw
Myth #8: Everything depends on me
Myth #9: I have to do it all right, or my child will turn out wrong
Myth #10: My child's bad choice means I'm a bad mom

My issue is not so much that I believe these myths, but I grow weary when encountering other mums who do.  I don't believe that if my child turns out to be a serial killer that it's because I did something 'wrong' in raising them, but there are plenty of other mothers who will think that.  I've heard older Christian women bitching about other Christian parents whose adult children aren't following the Lord, criticising their parenting, that they MUST be to blame for the children's poor choices.  This really makes my blood boil.  I was very encouraged by Karen Ehman's (one of the authors) honesty in sharing how her son ended up in trouble with the law as a teenager.  Yes, he came from a 'good Christian home'.  It's tempting to believe that other mothers aren't really judging you, and it's true that they often aren't, but the reality is that sometimes they really are.  Ehman shares openly and honestly how when she was pregnant with her first child she had very strong views on how to parent and how she and other women at her church would say nasty things behind the backs of other women who went back to work or didn't breastfeed.  She also shares how a difficult experience with one of her own babies humbled and changed her.

This is a great book for mums under the pump.  It also contains prayer points and Bible verse cards which can be photocopied and printed.

Quote of the Day

Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled; they are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles.
- Sharon Jaynes

The Suffering Competition

What's one of the worst things a friend can say to you when you're finding life hard?

"You're not the only one."

What? I hear you say.  Surely they're being empathetic, they're being....nice.

You see, it all depends on the tone.

They could mean, Don't feel alone.  I understand what you're going through, because I'm going through it, too.  That's being nice.

Then there's, You're not the only one with a hard life.  Mine is harder.  My husband works longer hours, my kids' behaviour is more challenging, I don't have supportive family, I'm in worse health, I have less friends.  So, don't you dare complain, because my life's WORSE.

I've had people do the latter to me and it really hurts.  I'm in no way implying that my life is the HARDEST there EVER is.  I'm saying that I'M finding life hard right now.  I'm struggling to cope with what's on my plate.

You see, when women make life into a kind of suffering competition it makes it more intimidating for other women to open up and be authentic.

Remember, your friend is is finding life is hard for THEM.

Quote of the Day

As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I've ever had has, at some point, said, "But I didn't have it as bad as some people," and then talked about how some types of trauma are worse.  Even my most traumatised, most abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.

The ones who were cheated on, abandoned and neglected say this.  The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this.  The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this.  The ones who were brutally beaten say this.  The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this.  What does that tell you?  That one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.

Don't buy into it, because it's nonsense.  It doesn't matter if someone else had it 'worse'.  Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.
- Unknown

via http://stimmyabby.tumblr.com

The 13th March Strikes Again

Two years ago, I blogged about how I was beginning to think the 13th March was a cursed date for me, and last year I was pleased to report that the 13th March 2016 was a normal day.

Unfortunately this year the date was tinged with sadness.

On Friday 10th March, I received a text message from my dad letting me know he'd read in the death notices in the paper that a childhood friend of mine had passed away.  Jane and I went to school together from kindergarten (what is now pre-primary) to Year 12, but we'd lost touch after school finished.  I was numb with shock after receiving the news.  As more of our old school friends became aware of her death, I found out she had had cancer.  But, after talking to a few old friends via Facebook, it appeared that all of us had lost touch with her.  We were all shocked and upset, sharing photos of the 'old days' with Jane and remembering times we'd spent with her.

The 13th March was her funeral.  I wish I could have got to Perth for it.

Unveiling Islam

Islam in Australian society continues to dominate headlines, so I thought this would be an appropriate time to review this book.

For a book about Islam to have credibility, I think it should be written by a Muslim or ex-Muslim.  I wouldn't like someone who wasn't a Christian writing a book about Christianity.  I'd think, Do you know what you're going on about, mate?  Unveiling Islam has this advantage over Islam in Our Backyard in that it's written by two of three brothers who were raised as Muslims and later converted to Christianity.  There are no cheesy, fictitious stories in this book; rather, theirs is true and painful.  Their beloved father disowned his three sons when they converted to Christianity, because his Islamic beliefs commanded it, even though it broke his heart to do so.

This book is blunt and to the point about what Muslims believe, and gives tips to Christians on how to answer and relate to Muslims in love. I think Islam in Our Backyard does a better job in summarising, whereas this book can be a bit long and rambly at times.  The book doesn't shy away from the difficult questions and perceptions of Islam, and proves that sometimes the media's perception of Islam as dangerous and radical is more accurate than the misguided, politically correct 'Islam is peace' Australians would want to believe.

If I knew a Christian or non-Christian wanting to understand more about Islam, I would give them this book.

Friday Funny

I thought these were appropriate with the WA State Election tomorrow:


POLITICS

A politician is a fellow who will lay down YOUR life for his country.
- Texas Guinan, 19th century American businessman

 I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles de Gaulle, French general and politician

We hang petty thieves and appoint the bigger thieves to public office.
- Aesop, Greek slave and fable author

When I was a boy, I was told that anyone could become PM; I'm beginning to believe it.
- Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'bloodsucking parasites'.
- Unknown

Life Without Nanny: The Sequel

We had the lovely Liz stay with us as our nanny from the 8th November until the 3rd January.  Liz is a 30-year-old Christian from Perth and we found her via one of my old uni friends.  The amazing coincidence was that she is also good friends with one of the other farm ladies!  She was an amazing help and fantastic company.  I was so sad when she left and blessed to have had the opportunity to meet and host two great nannies last seeding and harvest.

I've been battling along on my own, although I'm not really on my own, because God is always with me.  There have been days where everything has gone smoothly, and days where I can't wait for bedtime (and to guzzle some chocolate).  I'm feeling a bit more robust, but God keeps reminding me to parent on my knees.  Often it's only after I've tried to do things in my own strength, that He's prompted me to realise, Why didn't I pray?

Related posts: We Have a Nanny!
                        Life Without Nanny
                   Slamming Doors

Straight From the Horse's Mouth

It's the WA State Election this coming Saturday, and Duncan asked me yesterday if there's a website that lists what the parties stand for on certain issues.  There are plenty, but I find the most comprehensive way is to go to each party's individual website.  Websites that compare parties are usually quite biased and don't list ALL of the issues.

We visited a different church on Sunday and we were given 'how to vote' cards for the Australian Christians.  Personally, I dislike these things being handed out in churches where godly people have come to their own opinions and disagree on many issues.  There is no such thing as a 'Christian vote', but that's another story.  This is what was on the brochure - a Christian checklist of where the parties stand on issues concerning Christians:

Image from here

The problem with this checklist is that it's kind of vague with lots of question marks.  Also, it doesn't list ALL of the issues that Christians care about (refugees, for example).  There is also the possibility that some parties' views on some of these issues have been misrepresented.

Please research your vote, people.  Go to each party's website and hear it straight from the horse's mouth.