The Silent Generation

A few days before the royal wedding, Duncan and I watched The Queen which was being showed on TV.  It was the first time either of us had seen this movie.

The film is based on the week after the death of Princess Diana and focuses on the royal family's reaction.  At the time, the Queen and Prince Philip particularly, received a lot of flak about their lack of emotion and initial refusal to appear in public.  The film goes behind the scenes, showing Tony Blair (British Prime Minister at the time) pleading with the Queen to speak with her griveing people.  He kept saying, "The people need you at this time."  The Queen didn't quite know what to make of that.  She didn't know how a public display of emotion on her behalf was supposed to help the British people.

How much of the film is based on reality is really anyone's guess (Prince Philip is portrayed as an insensitive twat), but it reinforced to me that I really don't understand the 'Silent Generation'.

The Silent Generation is the generation born roughly between 1925-1942 - those who are in their 60s, 70s and even 80s today.  They survived the Great Depression and World War II in their youth.  Queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926 and is therefore a part of that generation.  I would even include my late Nan in that generation because, even though she was born in 1913, she displays many of the same traits.

Why I don't 'get' about the Silent Generation:

• Why is it bad to show emotion?  Why were they encouraged (and why do they encourage their children) to remain stoic in the face of grief?  Fair enough, you don't need to cry in front of everyone, but bottling it surely doesn't help either.  If you want to deal with your grief this way, fine, but don't tell others they are wrong for grieving openly.
• Why do so many of that generation hoard junk they don't need?  Broken appliances, dusty old books, bills from years ago.  Ok, I get that they lived through the Depression and don't like to be wasteful. I don't like to be wasteful either.  If it really has sentimental value, that's different, but I think many of them can't be bothered chucking stuff out.  And I don't get the point of keeping something saying, "I'll fix it one day," when 'one day' never comes.  Then the junk (and dust) keeps building up.
• Why do the Silent Generation talk about the 1940s and 50s like they were some kind of idyllic time in history and as if sin only entered the world in the 1960s? (ummm I'm pretty sure sin entered the world in the Garden of Eden).
• Why do those who are Christians have to be so black and white about everything, and often harsh to those younger Christians who are struggling in their faith?  If I talk to someone around my age about a faith-related struggle, they will often share Scripture AND their own story with me.  The Silent Generation tends to respond with, "Well, you just need to trust God more (and that's that)."  I'm not saying our own testimonies are more important than Jesus, but sharing your own struggles can really help another person know they aren't alone.  This is why I don't go to the Silent Generation with faith issues.

I know not everyone fits neatly into all the generation categories.  I don't understand my own generation, Generation Y much at all!

When I asked Duncan about the Silent Generation, he replied with, "I don't know.  That's just the way they are."  That's a helpful answer...not! Haha.

I don't get it.  Please explain...

Image is from http://thecia.com.au/

Marriage 101: I Want Money

It's strange how something so small in size can cause so many problems!

Duncan and I never really discussed money prior to our wedding.  It was agreed that Duncan would continue working full-time as a farmhand, I would look for part-time work, and we would enjoy being on the same level financially as many of our city friends.  We assumed having a rent-free home would enable us to 'get ahead' and we could be generous without having to worry that having someone over for a meal could send us down the financial gurgler.

A rude shock loomed on the horizon.

While working as a full-time librarian in 2005-06, I enjoyed having the most money I had ever had in my whole life.  Suddenly I could afford gym membership and a decent car....luxuries which had eluded me as a student.  When I went part-time in 2007, things continued to be pretty cruisy until Emma got married and moved out and I was left without a housemate for a month.  Full rent really hurt.  Even when Aimee moved in, my bank account never quite recovered.  While I was by no means being reckless with my money, suddenly I NEEDED pay day more than I'd ever needed it since joining the workforce.  Having a wedding to pay for didn't help, and suddenly I was constantly needing money from Duncan.

The problem was that even after the wedding both of us struggled to see our money as OURS.  We both saw mine as mine and Duncan's as Duncan's.  We still had separate bank accounts and I couldn't find work at first.  I would go into town and do the shopping, pay bills etc and my account would be in the red.  Duncan transferred money from his account to mine but sometimes he would forget.  I told him the whole thing was stupid and that we should just get a joint account. He didn't want to, saying that he had too many direct debits coming out of his account and that changing accounts would be a pain.  After hearing him make a few too many jokes about women and shopping, I didn't believe his excuses.  I assumed he didn't trust me.  This whole saga went on until mid 2009 when we finally got a joint account.

While we've always had to watch our money, it was at the start of this year that we hit financial troubles again.  There were a few weeks between the end of Duncan's last job until he started this one and during that time we lived off his overtime pay from last harvest.  But the move was more costly than we had anticipated.  We had to pay the hire fee for the moving truck, we needed a lot of furniture (our house in Buntine was mostly furnished), and I didn't have a job anymore.  In early February, the lady who pays the wages for the farm forgot to pay everyone.  Duncan's pay ended up being a week late and my stress levels rocketed skyward.  I hadn't planned on rushing to look for a job, but now I was scouring the local paper for employment opportunities.  We ended up selling my car (which we had planned to do for a while) and now just have the one car and used the money to buy a new bed (and put our old bed in the spare room).

We're still finding it hard going at times, but God has never left us hungry.  I have two casual jobs working as an administration officer for two not-for-profit agricultural groups.  However, the work is sporadic and I've been sick three times in two months so I haven't been able to work as much as I would like.  We realise we will never have as much money as some friends of ours who are engineers or doctors.  This does take its toll when we go to Perth and people don't understand how we can't afford to eat out all the time.  It's like they assume we're all on the same financial level....but we're not.  Recently, we heard from some friends of ours that they had decided to go on a spontaneous holiday interstate.  Just because.  If Duncan and I want to go interstate, we have to plan a long way ahead and save, save, save.

Sometimes it's hard not to be resentful, but I know I'm just being greedy.  I don't want Duncan to think he is an inadequate provider for our family.  And I want to be generous, but greed always seems to rear its ugly head.  I don't want people to feel sorry for us or give us money....I just want them to realise that although we are all middle-class, we don't earn the $100-150,000/year they earn...nowhere near it.  Part of me is afraid to have children because we won't be able to afford all the stuff to get set up - cots, prams etc.  But I suppose that people will give us stuff, and there is always Freecycle.

Here are my tips for newlyweds who are facing disagreements about money:

• Have a budget.  We are complete hyprocrites here because we don't have one although we've become pretty good at checking the account balance and saying no to each other when one of us wants something we can't afford.  There are heaps of online budget-making applications.  Just Google it.
• See a financial planner.  Some Christians assume that if you see a financial planner, it means you aren't trusting God with your money.  Bollocks!  One of the ways we can honour God is to use our money wisely and we all need a bit of help sometimes.
• Get a joint bank account.  Not only will you save on bank fees, it speaks volumes to your spouse that you trust them.
• Keep a little bit aside for spending (if possible).  We have friends who are on tight budgets but keep a little bit aside each to spend on what they want (i.e. a new pair of jeans, a movie ticket).  It may help with curbing big impulsive spending.
• Go through your stuff and sell anything you don't want or need.  Don't hoard stuff - be ruthless.  I still de-hoard and sell stuff on ebay even though I've got more room in this house.  Use the money to pay off debt or give to charity.
• Trust God.  It's easy to trust yourself when you're financially secure, but when things are tight you're forced to question who your faith is really in.

Beyond Greed

I've decided that rather than just ranting about money management, I should look into what the Bible actually says about money.  And it says a lot!  Jesus spoke more about money than just about any other topic.

Duncan already had a copy of Beyond Greed by Brian Rosner when we got married so I thought it would be a good place to start. Reasonably short (174 pages) and very readable, the book forces readers to examine the greed we turn a blind eye to.

Although the book is challenging, I felt most of it was just reiterating stuff I already knew: greed is subtle, we cannot serve both God and money, idolatry as the source of greed, learning to be content etc.  I guess the problem is that this is stuff I know in my head, but it often has trouble finding its way to my heart.

One really helpful part of the book is that it really examines a few key money verses from the Bible, including 1 Timothy 6:10.  The author points out that money is NOT evil IN ITSELF, but the love of money is.  But while the book argues that it is wrong to be greedy and focused on material things and find satisfaction in them rather than in God, the godly alternative is not some kind of pious poverty. Christians are to give generously to those in need - not just financially, but through hospitality and sharing possessions.

The book contains many articles which originally appeared in The Briefing, a monthly Christian magazine published by Matthias Media (who also published this book).  They cover topics such as gambling, giving, contentment, and the average Australian lifestyle.  It's great to hear the perspective of many different writers on what is often a difficult and controversial topic to speak openly about.

If you're a practical person, like me, then you'll find the latter chapters to be helpful.  They provide examples of radical generosity, not to guilt-trip us into giving, but to give some ideas for those wanting to impliment change, but struggling to know where to start.  Some of these ideas are:

• Don't buy any CDs for a year (and do not illegally burn CDs.  Obey Christ over what temptations money may offer us).
• Move to a smaller home.
• Set a budget with your spouse starting with a 'lifestyle limit' and give the rest away.
• Put off the kids' private education or scrap it altogether.
• Scrap overseas trips.
• Don't buy any new clothes for a year.
• Walk more and use less petrol.

These ideas can be frightening and challenging, but being a disciple of Christ IS radical and scary.  One of the articles asks the question: How do the lives of Christians look any different from their non-Christian neighbours?  The answer is 'not much'.  We don't want to be different to be weirdos, but we cannot have our cake and eat it too.  We cannot serve both God and money.

This book is definitely worth a read.  My tip is to read it slowly.  Don't rush!  There is a lot to take in, and if you're anything like me, it takes a while to penetrate my thick skull.  Don't skip to the end to read the practical stuff.  The earlier chapters may be what you know already, but we need to allow God to expose what's in our hearts before we can start making changes.

Bible Verse of the Day

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6:10

Friday Funny

JUDAS ASPARAGUS

A child was told to write a book report on the Bible.  Through the eyes of a child. Children's Bible in a nutshell.

In the beginning , which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he Was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than His brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminium. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Mother's Day 2011

We spent Mother's Day in Albany with my mum this year.  It was the first Mother's Day I'd spent with her in four years, and the first one in Albany since goodness knows when.

My mum and brother.

Bremer Bay - April 2011

I had a great holiday in Bremer Bay at the end of April.  I was invited by my friend, Rhianon, and her husband, Linton, her parents, her sister, Ellen, and some other friends of theirs also came along.  Unfortunately Duncan was seeding so he couldn't come.  He would have LOVED it!  4WDing, motorbikes, beach....all things that are right up his alley.



Our God is an awesome God.





The boys and their bikes.



Rhianon about to go for a ride on the four-wheeler.



My first ever ride on any kind of motorbike.

 

I reckon it looks like it has eyes.



Trying to get the darn thing started.



Woohoo!  Here I go...



Ellen felt a bit cold.









Ellen enjoying the view.





Rhianon and Linton on the beach.



Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!



Oh what a feeling....Toyota!  I've always wanted one of these jumping action photos.




Rhianon



Kitesurfers in action at sunset.