Right now it feels like my life is in limbo.
I don't quite fit in anywhere.
My last day of work is this Thursday. After three and a bit years in the same job, I'll be unemployed. While it'll be a relief in some ways to be an unemployed bum and be able to devote more of my time to the wedding and impending move, I'm sad because it was my first job after uni and I will miss a lot of the people there. They're making plans about projects for the rest of the year and I'm aware that I'm not needed anymore, that I'm on my way out.
It's the same at church. I'm winding down, obviously being involved in much less. Small groups are starting up for the year but I haven't joined one. There's no point. In less than three weeks, I'll be gone.
The stupid bit is that I'm feeling sad about not being included and involved. Well duh, you reply, they know you're leaving. I know it's dumb but I still feel I don't belong. Everyone's moving forward and I'm stuck in limbo.
My journey over the next few months will be one of the unknown. I have a new church to go to but I'm not there yet. I don't know what I'll be doing for work. And of course I'll have a new marriage, home and town. Part of this scares me but I also know that while I don't know what awaits me, God does and he gives me the confidence to go forward.
I really hope my friends in Perth stay in touch because I know I'm going to try my hardest to.
How have you felt when you've been between jobs, churches, houses or about to get married? Have you ever felt like you were in limbo, not really being anywhere while the rest of the world goes on as before?
3 comments:
I know how you feel. I've been where you are. Life is full of transitions and adjustments, without them our journey would stay stagnant.
I can empathise with you as we are in a transition period ourselves with a new baby on the way and moving house soon.
All I can say is to grab hold of the excitement of it all and find a way to keep part of your past while sufficiently letting go in order to focus on this new part of your life journey.
This happened to me just before I got married. My parents moved interstate and I found myself having nothing familiar around me while I prepared to be married. In hindsight I can say that this was God's way of preparing me for independence. I know he has his best in mind for you so this is likely part of his way of helping you to let go and move on.
Looking forward to the wedding very much!
That is exactly how I felt at the end of last year/ the beginning of this year. Everything for youth at Subi was being planned, I sat in staff meetings planning for the year, even my small group was making plans and I wasn't a part of any of it. It truly is bizarre, especially when you are used to being a very large part of the puzzle.
I had that feeling right up until about 2 weeks after I moved here. it wasn't until i started to be involved in planning and visioning stuff here that I felt purposeful again.
Hope everything goes well for you!
Oh, and hi:P
Thanks for sharing Amanda and Middo.
Amanda, I'm looking forward to finally meeting you at the wedding!
Middo, hi! Glad everything is going well down in Margs. I'm going to start that writing series on my blog soon but just wanted to make sure you had regular net access so you don't miss it :)
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