A couple of weekends ago, Duncan and I were in Perth for a wedding and on Sunday morning we decided to visit our old church before heading home. One of the elders was preaching on Romans 14 and it was one of the best sermons I've heard recently. Perhaps because I'd just been thinking about 'liberty garden' issues myself and it's strange how God has continued to get me thinking about how to live out Romans 14 in my own life and then I hear a sermon on it. God works in mysterious ways.
Ollie spoke about how he had grown up in a home with no TV, no alcohol, no dancing etc etc. He explained that this was his parents' view of how to live as Christians and when he moved to Australia from the UK, he struggled with seeing Christians partake in all of the above and not judging them. Now he partakes in many of the things his parents didn't. I think whatever our upbringing, we all struggle with being judged and being judgemental.
I'm going to relate this post to my previous one on Christians and alcohol. I am convinced that it is ok for Christians to drink just not to get drunk. I fully respect other Christians' decisions not to drink. Duncan and I both drink, Duncan more than me, but we both want to be careful that our drinking doesn't become a stumbling block for others.
What I've been struggling with lately is how to do I NOT let my drinking be a stumbling block? What would that look like practically? I always think of the term 'stumbling block' in relation to addiction for some reason, like I can see why I wouldn't drink in front of an alcoholic. But what if it's someone who just doesn't like alcohol as in not a temptation issue but a sin issue. What if they're like my friends in the previous post and would probably give you a disapproving look if they happened to spy a beer in your fridge?
Duncan and I disagree how we should handle it if staunch non-drinkers come to our house. Obviously we're not going to crack open a beer in front of them although Ollie did mention in his sermon that it's tempting for the 'strong' person to try to show off their freedom in front of the 'weak'. Often when I feel like I'm being judged by a non-drinker (even though I'm not drinking in front of them), I get the urge to crack open that beer, skull it in front of them and shout "Freedom!....FREEDOM!" like William Wallace in Braveheart. But I never act on that urge....that would be very unloving.
While I don't want to shove alcohol in a non-drinker's face nor do I want to 'hide my colours' in my own house. Other people know we drink, it's not like we're pretending to be teetotallers and have successfully managed to fool everyone. When a non-drinker comes over, Duncan takes the bottles of whiskey and wine off the top of the fridge where they usually reside and hides them in the pantry. I understand why he does it because one time a mate of his came over who had struggled with drinking too much in the past. But I've told him I don't get why he does this when it's just someone who doesn't believe in drinking, as in there is no temptation or addiction involved. He said it's because it's better to avoid any possible arguments with the guest/s. I'm of the view, that while I respect others and will do my best not to offend them, this is our house and when people visit they need to respect us for who we are. Romans 14 works both ways. The strong are not to put stumbling blocks in the path of the weak but the weak are not to judge the strong either.
In one way I can see Duncan's point...I don't want to start arguments. But I don't want to have to hastily rearrange everything when a non-drinker comes over. Now obviously not every non-drinker cares about whether other Christians drink or not.....I'm talking about ones who would disapprove of our choice to drink and show by either their words or facial expressions. Am I being selfish? A friend who agrees with me pointed out that we can't always hide stuff anyway. For example, some things have to stay in the fridge and can't be moved so if the guest looks in the fridge and sees beer there there's nothing much we can do anyway.
Please vote on my poll on the right or leave your opinion about this dilemma in the comments section. What would you do in our situation?
6 comments:
Hey Sarah
Off topic, def let me know if you'd be keen to sell (rather than trade in) the Holden Vectra, I'd be VERY interested:)
James
Sure will do. I'll ask Dunc what he wants to do when he gets home.
Now back on topic :).....have you voted in my poll yet? hehe
yeah, I voted the same as you...but almost went 'undecided'
Mostly because i tend to avoid confrontation...so would feel a 'pull' to removing it, but in the end I guess I'd feel 'my house, my rules'
hey Sarah, I 'think' I emailed you something to pass to Duncan. If you haven't gotten an email, just let me know and I'll try again:)
By the way, I'm not a huge drinker. I think from scripture that drinking wine etc is ok, in moderation. I do respect people who don't like drinking, whether its because of it being a stumbling block, or don't want anything to do with it. What I don't like is when these people look down on christians who do enjoy a drink. Unfortunitly there are many christians I know who think getting drunk isn't so bad. The bible has many passages that say the contrary to this idea. That drunkenness is not a quality of a godly man.
I don't like having bottles of wine or beer around when friends, who don't like alcohol, come over to visit. I don't want them to feel awkward or judge me.
Is this wrong?
Hun, I don't think it's wrong to not want to feel awkward or judged. Who on earth WOULD want to feel judged by others?
But my point is that these people SHOULDN'T be judging you. So if you are doing the right thing by not putting stumbling blocks in their way and they're still judging you cos they know you drink, then they're the ones in the wrong and should read Romans 14.
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