Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Marriage 101: Guys Only and Girls Only

In the last post in this series, I wrote about the importance of having a regular date night.

In this post, I'm going to tell you all to leave hubby or wifey or partner or random other and go and let your hair down with your same sex friends.

Many single people accuse marrieds of being like an island....separate and liking it that way.  However, I'm here to tell you that no matter how much it may appear that way, married people need their friends.  Not just other couples, but friends of the same gender, the friends you had before you were married.

You see, no matter how much I enjoy being with Duncan, there is one thing I am very aware of......he is not a woman!  Well, duh!  That means that he doesn't 'get me' the way other women do.  We have had COUNTLESS conversations where I'm trying to explain the female point-of-view to him, and he just can't understand (not that I 'get' men that easily myself).

Not only are there differences in opinions, but there differences in interests.  Because it's a well-known fact that most men don't enjoy clothes shopping or similar activities, married couples tend to do more 'blokey' or at least neutral things together, like camping or fishing.  These are fine, I enjoy these things, but I also need 'girl time'.  And blokes need to be blokes just as much which they can't always do in the company of their wife.

Since being married and having moved away, I've found it harder to maintain close relationships with my female friends.  Our catch-ups tend to be fleeting and, due to the limited time we have when in Perth, it's often easier to see people in a group.  Marriages need a lot of time, love and energy poured into them in order for them to flourish, which means you need to be super-organised to catch up with others as well.

Last year, Duncan had his brother and two of their mates up for a blokes' weekend at our place.  I took this as my cue to leave and spent the weekend in Perth with a close friend, whose husband was up at ours.  It was a GREAT weekend.  Sometimes I think it's good for couples to spend time apart and rekindle other relationships.  In April, Duncan and the same group of blokes (plus a few others) are having a similar weekend in Guilderton, and, this time, I'm staying home and have invited the same friend to come and visit.

When I was living with Emma, she got invited to a girls' weekend by one of her friends from church.  They had a big girly sleepover and some pampering, and the girl who was hosting the weekend had one rule for everyone.  Contacting significant others or answering calls/texts from them was banned!  The reason for this was that she didn't want the single girls to feel excluded.  The whole idea of the weekend was to get away from couples and concentrate on just being girls together and having fun.  Fair enough, I say.  I've been to women's events before when I was single, and some of the women did nothing but talk about their husbands and kids the WHOLE TIME!

Couples need date nights, but they also need guys/girls only nights.

So...have you organised your next blokey or girly adventure yet?

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