Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back

I am a woman (surprise, surprise).

I am a woman...but I really don't understand women.

Sometimes I think there is a lot of merit in how men deal with disagreements.  Get in the boxing ring, have a punch-up, and then go and have a beer together afterwards.  Ok, so it's not a great way to resolve things, but at least it's straight-up and honest.

I can't stand the bitching, the gossiping, the backstabbing, the exclusion and the falsehood when it comes to women.  If you don't like me, say it to my face, then I can move on, but don't kiss my cheek and twist a knife into my back at the same time.  It reminds me of Judas Iscariot.

I've been introduced to some women and straight away I've got the vibe that they don't like me.  I felt like yelling at them, "How can you hate me when you've only just met me?!?"  Other times, I feel like I'm trapped into a competition with other women that I never wanted to get involved in.  A competition to see who will get a boyfriend first, get married first, have kids first, who has the best behaved kids, get the best marks, have the best job, buy a house first, have the best grasp of theology.  Ok, so I'm not in some of those stages of life yet, but I feel like I'm already losing in a lot of areas.

I think this post is stemming from how I felt at my school reunion.  No matter how successful, smart or beautiful I become, I will never be good enough for some people.  Some people have tried to tell me in the past that it's because some women are jealous and feel threatened.  I honestly can't tell with some women.

What I really don't get is how I despise those attributes in other women, yet I am just as guilty when it comes to having a competitive streak.  I feel ashamed with how I've treated other girls in the past, particularly when I was a kid.  I have to keep asking myself, "WHY am I feeling like I'm trying to compete with women who are my FRIENDS?"  We are in completely different stages of life and have completely different circumstances.  It's not a race.  You simply can't compare some people, yet I always feel like I have to be the best.  Why?  I guess everyone's going to say the answer is 'sin'.

Ladies, why can't we all (myself included) look at another woman and instead of seeing a potential rival, see a potential friend?

I don't get it.  Please explain.