Monday, October 24, 2011

Facebook Etiquette

It seems that I'm not the only one to have these frustrations.  I suspect mine are more gripes than etiquette, but this is Madam Sarah's Fine College of Etiquette after all.

1.  Thou shalt reply to messages
Facebook is for sharing - it says that on the homepage.  People who say they are too busy to reply to messages, yet have plenty of time to update their status 8 times per day or play those silly games are LAME.

2.  Thou shalt acknowledge thy commenters
I feel like a doofus commenting on people's statuses or asking them questions, only to be ignored.  Occasional acknowledgement would be nice.

3.  Thou shalt not stalk thy friends
I love comments and 'likes', but not from the same person on every status.  That's just a bit creepy.

4.  Thou shalt not update thy status too much
I know I really have no right to say this, but I think an average of one status per day is plenty.  I have one friend who updates 8 times per day (yes, I counted).  One day her statuses went like this:
It's a nice day.  I feel like going for a drive up the coast.
In the car, driving up the coast.
I'm up the coast.  It's lovely up here.
Home again from a day up the coast.
Surely I had a nice day up the coast would suffice?  Yes, I know I can hide people if I want to, but I'd rather not do that.  Frequent posts is what Twitter is for.  Oh and make sure you comment more on other people's statuses than you write about yourself.

5.  Thou shalt share important news with thy peeps before the hoards
I don't know about you, but I don't want to find out my best friend is pregnant via Facebook.  That's just slack news-relaying.  I wish some people would remember the days of SMS, phone and email.

6.  Thou shalt not whinge incessantly about photos
I used to complain about people taking photos of me before a friend very politely told me to get over it.  Now I can't see what people make such a fuss about.  Yes, you look that way in real life.  People see you every day.  A photo captures you in a second, a freeze frame.  I don't deliberately put up bad photos of my friends; I post ones in which I think they look good.  If you don't like a photo, don't kick up a stink.  Just untag yourself.

7.  Thou shalt not log into Facebook in a foul mood
Seriously...don't!  I'm speaking from experience here.  It's very tempting after a hard day to go online and 'tell it to Facebook' like you would to a private diary (been there).  But it's not a private diary.  It's read by hundreds of people.  By all means, share the yucky bits of life, be honest about your struggles, but don't log on and take offence at anything and everything other people have written.

8.  Thou shalt not write anything thy wouldn't say face to face
That's something cowards (or twits) do.

9.  Thou shalt not vaguebook
This is really one of my pet peeves.  People writing really random things like My nose hairs shine like the hilltops on a sunny day or I have a secret or I have exciting news (and then they refuse to elaborate when asked).  When I see people writing that, I just ignore them rather than satisfy their attention-seeking.  If it's so secret, then they should even be mentioning it on Facebook in the first place.

10.  Thou shalt use lots of smileys
The written word can be easily misunderstood.  I've come to the realisation that you can never have too many smileys.

11.  Thou shalt not poke, post silly chain messages or invite people to join thy games
Just annoying!  Enough said.

12.  Thou shalt not add people thy would avoid in the street
Don't add me if you would ignore me in real life.

When talking to your Facebook friend,
Pause before you press Send.
There's a person behind that screen,
Be polite, don't be mean.

We all have opinions to air,
Make sure you share and care.

There's nothing wrong with lots of chatter,
But show your friends that they matter.

Before you send that friend request
Consider if it would be best,
To add someone you'll never meet,
Or avoid in the street.

Enough of my gripes.  What do you think is good Facebook etiquette?


Pearl said...

"Vaguebook". I love that. And I know exactly what you mean: "My life is awful." "I thought everything was going to be okay, now this."



Kristy said...

Good points good points. If you post more than, say, 3 times a day, you are open to ridicule for sure!

Eva Gallant said...

I like your etiquette! I know someone who posts updates several times a day, too. Annoying!

I'm just visiting from Best Posts of the Week.

Anonymous said...

Love your list! It is FAR more comprehensive than mine was. And so true about not using FB when in a bad mood. I try very hard not to do that either.

Sarah said...

Hello, welcome and nice to meet you all.

Pearl, I hadn't heard the term 'vaguebook' until recently either, but it's in the Urban Dictionary :)

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

I like #12 the best. These folks with 1000 friends often times are 'friending' all types of people they'd never acknowledge in person.

I'm your newest follower. Please stop by and say hi!

cath said...

I've learned as I have evolved on Facebook, that if people don't have common sense in life, they aren't going to magically develop it on Facebook. :D

Sarah said...

Hi PJ, I'll add your blog to my blogroll and reader.

Cath, yes too true! I've also found that some people who have real life common sense, yet seem to lose it all on Facebook.