Monday, October 31, 2011

Six Months of Weird Diet Complete!

A lifetime to go!

Back in May, I wrote about my Life with AS and the low starch diet I'd adopted to help manage the pain.  The plan had always been to trial the diet for a few months to see if it made a significant difference.  If not, I would have no choice but to go back to taking Celebrex (anti inflammatories).

Well, six months on, I'm pleased to report that the low starch diet has been a resounding success.  Most days I'm relatively pain free.  I can even indulge a little bit now and then without it causing too much of a problem (mmm Twisties!).

Throughout the journey, I've discovered that the diet wasn't the hell I was anticipating.  I've learnt to be very organised as I've had to prepare meals in advance to going out.  I've learnt to be considerate of others with strange diets.  I've learnt patience as I've had to keep explaining my diet and the reasons for it over, and over...and OVER again to the same people (definitely still learning patience with that one).

"You're too young to have arthritis."...............It's not an old person's disease.
"I have a great recipe for a gluten free cake if you want it.".....................I'm not a coeliac.  Gluten has no bearing whatsoever on my condition - it's starch.  Gluten-free flour is still full of starch.

The hardest people to deal with are the ones where my explanation seems to go in one ear and out the other.  I've had plenty of My Big Fat Greek Wedding moments.  Those of you who have seen this movie will remember the scene where Toula brings her fiance, Ian, to meet her Greek extended family and explains to them, "Ian is a vegetarian.  He doesn't eat meat."  There is a horrified silence and then her auntie says, "Oh that's ok.  We make lamb."  I've had the same thing we're I've explained to people that I can't eat pasta and five seconds later they've said, "That's ok.  We'll cook lasagne."  Aaaaaargh!

Then there's the 'starch police' who have taken it upon themselves to watch me hawk-like at the table.  I remember enjoying a couple of chips when someone said, "You're not supposed to eat those."  Argh for goodness sake, just leave me alone.  I know my limits.  A few chips now and then is a treat for me now.  Don't spoil it.

In hindsight I can see that God did this for my good.  Suffering forces me to run to Him.  I'm still far off learning this as my first response has been to jump on the internet for information, rather than kneeling before my God and asking for His wisdom.  Really, God has just done what I've asked Him to do when He allowed me to have arthritis.  I wanted time out, to be able to say no to things....He gave me the perfect excuse. :)

Some people have remarked that I seem so positive about it all.  Well, I've had my days where I've felt far from positive...but those days were mostly at the beginning.  Now it's just part of life and complaining won't help.  I have moments where I'm just over it all and the amount of exercise I have to do just to stop the stiffness creeping into my lower back.  During a visit to the chiropractor, he told me my back had about the half the range of flexibility as a normal back so now I have to do pilates or yoga every second or third day.  Duncan and I bought a cross trainer for $80 at a garage sale a few months ago and it has been great to use it and watch TV at the same time (yay I can multitask).  It's also tennis season again so I'm back to playing three times a week on average.  I survived a season of netball, but the amount of hot showers and stretching I needed after each game and training session was a bit much.  I have to keep teling myself, exercise is a GOOD thing.  I mean, at least I haven't been told I need to eat poo or something!

Six months on, low starch is now just normal life.  You know, even if I was suddenly healed I'm not sure I'd go back to my starchy diet again.  It has made me eat healthier and take care of myself.  What's so bad about that?

Having said that...YAY FOR CHOCOLATE!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bible Verse of the Day

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees.
Psalm 119:71

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Insight: Narcissism

I can thank a regular reader of this blog for recommending that I have a look at Insight on SBS.  This show is fantastic!  I can't believe I've never watched it before now (although maybe our crackly SBS reception has something to do with that).  Thanks Jodie!

There was an episode about narcissism and the use of social media earlier this year.  Very fitting with all the posts I've done on Facebook this month.  I'm enjoying watching through the three parts (as quickly as my internet will let me).

Take a look if you're interested.  There are heaps of other interesting topics too.

http://www.sbs.com.au/insight/episode/index/id/366/Narcissism#watchonline

Monday, October 24, 2011

Facebook Etiquette

It seems that I'm not the only one to have these frustrations.  I suspect mine are more gripes than etiquette, but this is Madam Sarah's Fine College of Etiquette after all.

1.  Thou shalt reply to messages
Facebook is for sharing - it says that on the homepage.  People who say they are too busy to reply to messages, yet have plenty of time to update their status 8 times per day or play those silly games are LAME.

2.  Thou shalt acknowledge thy commenters
I feel like a doofus commenting on people's statuses or asking them questions, only to be ignored.  Occasional acknowledgement would be nice.

3.  Thou shalt not stalk thy friends
I love comments and 'likes', but not from the same person on every status.  That's just a bit creepy.

4.  Thou shalt not update thy status too much
I know I really have no right to say this, but I think an average of one status per day is plenty.  I have one friend who updates 8 times per day (yes, I counted).  One day her statuses went like this:
It's a nice day.  I feel like going for a drive up the coast.
In the car, driving up the coast.
I'm up the coast.  It's lovely up here.
Home again from a day up the coast.
Surely I had a nice day up the coast would suffice?  Yes, I know I can hide people if I want to, but I'd rather not do that.  Frequent posts is what Twitter is for.  Oh and make sure you comment more on other people's statuses than you write about yourself.

5.  Thou shalt share important news with thy peeps before the hoards
I don't know about you, but I don't want to find out my best friend is pregnant via Facebook.  That's just slack news-relaying.  I wish some people would remember the days of SMS, phone and email.

6.  Thou shalt not whinge incessantly about photos
I used to complain about people taking photos of me before a friend very politely told me to get over it.  Now I can't see what people make such a fuss about.  Yes, you look that way in real life.  People see you every day.  A photo captures you in a second, a freeze frame.  I don't deliberately put up bad photos of my friends; I post ones in which I think they look good.  If you don't like a photo, don't kick up a stink.  Just untag yourself.

7.  Thou shalt not log into Facebook in a foul mood
Seriously...don't!  I'm speaking from experience here.  It's very tempting after a hard day to go online and 'tell it to Facebook' like you would to a private diary (been there).  But it's not a private diary.  It's read by hundreds of people.  By all means, share the yucky bits of life, be honest about your struggles, but don't log on and take offence at anything and everything other people have written.

8.  Thou shalt not write anything thy wouldn't say face to face
That's something cowards (or twits) do.

9.  Thou shalt not vaguebook
This is really one of my pet peeves.  People writing really random things like My nose hairs shine like the hilltops on a sunny day or I have a secret or I have exciting news (and then they refuse to elaborate when asked).  When I see people writing that, I just ignore them rather than satisfy their attention-seeking.  If it's so secret, then they should even be mentioning it on Facebook in the first place.

10.  Thou shalt use lots of smileys
The written word can be easily misunderstood.  I've come to the realisation that you can never have too many smileys.

11.  Thou shalt not poke, post silly chain messages or invite people to join thy games
Just annoying!  Enough said.

12.  Thou shalt not add people thy would avoid in the street
Don't add me if you would ignore me in real life.

When talking to your Facebook friend,
Pause before you press Send.
There's a person behind that screen,
Be polite, don't be mean.

We all have opinions to air,
Make sure you share and care.

There's nothing wrong with lots of chatter,
But show your friends that they matter.

Before you send that friend request
Consider if it would be best,
To add someone you'll never meet,
Or avoid in the street.

Enough of my gripes.  What do you think is good Facebook etiquette?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday Funny

I saw this on Facebook.  Sooo true hahaha.



















Source: http://lynk.ly/stories/view/748292

Thursday, October 20, 2011

5 Best TV Couples

My Top 5 ended up dominated by Blue Heelers and Home and Away.  Here they are:

1.  PJ and Maggie (Martin Sacks and Lisa McCune) in Blue Heelers
These guys were the ultimate TV couple in the late 90s and were a major reason for Blue Heelers' ratings success.  They had millions of Australians (including myself) glued to the screen.  Maggie's death must surely rate as one of the saddest TV deaths and I cried as she died in PJ's arms.

















Image is from http://heelers.tripod.com/special/articles/mags/topguns_big.htm

2.  Jack and Tess (Rupert Reid and Caroline Craig) in Blue Heelers
A lot of people doubted whether Blue Heelers would be any good after Maggie's departure, but, in my opinion, Tess did a great job in filling the void.  I loved her shortlived relationship with Jack even though it seemed destined for trouble from the start (she was his boss).  I was devastated when Jack was arrested and left the show.










Image is from http://blue-heelers.piczo.com/?g=27083071&cr=6

3.  Luke and Lorelai (Scott Patterson and Lauren Graham) in Gilmore Girls
How many coffees did Lorelai drink at Luke's Diner before they finally got together?














Image is from http://www.celebritycouples.net/Features/FamousTelevisionCouples/LukeandLorelai.aspx

4.  Aden and Belle (Todd Lasance and Jessica Tovey) in Home and Away
Belle was really the one who 'reformed' Aden and it was so sad that she died of cancer just weeks after their wedding after initially hiding her illness from him.














Image is from http://au.tv.yahoo.com/home-and-away/features/article/-/5791092/a-tribute-to-belle/

5.  Angelo and Nicole (Luke Jacobz and Tessa James) on Home and Away
These two only just got together and then left the show!  It was so sweet how Angelo wanted to be a dad to Nicole's baby son, George.














Image is from: http://www.virginmedia.com/tvradio/top-tv-shows/home-and-away/spoilers/home-and-away-week-25-2011.php?ssid=8

Who are your favourite TV couples?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

My Ideal Wedding

I loved, loved, LOVED Carbo and Retta's wedding on Packed to the Rafters last week.

For those of you who don't watch the show, Retta was getting a bit anxious and upset about organising a big fat Greek wedding to satisfy Carbo's family.  I laughed out loud when she showed Carbo the colour-coded seating plan and said, "Your family are in blue.  That's why it looks like we're having our reception at sea."  Boy, do I know how that feels.  Duncan's family may not be Greek, but they are numerous and it felt like I didn't really know a lot of people at the reception.  I felt for Retta when she cried to Carbo, "Your side of the church will be full and mine will be empty."  We didn't do 'sides' for our ceremony, everyone just sat wherever, but I did feel it a bit sad that about half of my already very small extended family couldn't come.

Those of who you have read my blog for a while will remember Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine.  I felt like I went through a waking nightmare to get to our wedding day.  Maybe that's why I rejoiced when Carbo whisked Retta away for a surprise elopement under a tree with just the celebrant and the celebrant's brother who he'd asked to be a witness.  The celebrant's brother had just come from a children's party and was still dressed as a clown.  Hilarious!  I loved the simplicity of the wedding although maybe I would have worn something a tad nicer.  The marriage is the most important thing - not the pomp and frills and the demands of friends and family that you do things THEIR way.

Part of me still wishes that Duncan had done that for me.  I asked him if he liked Carbo and Retta's wedding and he said no, that he still would have wanted all the family there.  Some people have said to me that I must now think all the stress was worth it.  No, I don't.  All I wanted was to marry Duncan.  While our wedding day was full of joy, I was overwhelmed by all the people and all the stress it took to get to that point.  I thought I'd like being the centre of attention, but I didn't.  Now I'm just so glad I never have to do that again and I can just enjoy life with my man.

I know they're only TV characters, but bravo Carbo and Retta for doing things your way!  I can't wait to watch tonight's episode and see if there's any backlash from Carbo's family.

Image is from http://www.facebook.com/pttrs

Monday, October 17, 2011

5 Favourite Children's TV Series

I must have watched so much TV as a kid because it was quite hard to pick just five.  Oops that probably makes my parents sound like terrible parents for letting us spend so much time in front of the box haha.

Do these bring back some memories?

1. The Wizard of Oz



2.  Captain Planet and the Planeteers




3.  The Famous Five (enjoy, Karen)



4.  Round the Twist





5.  Gumby




Which TV shows did you love when you were a kid?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I'm George......They're Annes


As a child, I loved the Famous Five series by Enid Blyton. Nowadays many people see them as outdated with their 1950s mannerisms and values. But, to me, they represent an idyllic world where evil grownups can be outwitted by clever and righteous children.

I've blogged about how hard it is for me to fit into my second small town in three years.  I've wondered why I keep feeling like I don't fit in.  How strange that the good old Famous Five has provided the answer...

I'm like George.

I'm like George, and I'm surrounded by Annes who expect me to be Anne.

Let me explain...

I've always liked George as a character.  We are alike in many ways - stubborn, obstinate, prickly with a short fuse, unconventional, happy to be on our own,  we refuse to be put in a box, want adventures, and love animals.  Apparently the reason why she is one of Enid Blyton's best-loved characters is that is she is real!  Blyton has been criticised for creating two-dimensional characters, but she said that George is based on a girl she knew.  Later on, she came clean and admitted George is based on herself!

The first Famous Five book, Five on a Treasure Island, in my opinion, is the book which clearly displays George's character.  Being someone who hates people telling me to do things I don't like just because they like them, I could definitely relate to this passage:

"You'd like boarding school," said Anne.  "We all go.  It's fun."
"No, it isn't," said George obstinately.  "It must be awful to be one of a crowd and to have other girls all laughing and yelling round you.  I should hate it."
"No, you wouldn't," said Anne.  "All that is great fun.  It would be good for you, George, I should think."
"If you start telling me what is good for me, I shall hate you," said George, suddenly looking very fierce.  "Mother and Father are always telling me that things are good for me - and they are always the things I don't like."
(page 48)

Thr trouble is I am in a place that expects me to be like Anne.  People want me to 'play house'.  They are always pestering me to have kids.  But I am like George in that I want adventures - not scary ones involving smugglers and kidnappers, but I want to write, I want to create.  I want to be 'out there', I want to own heaps of animals.  I like my home, it is comfortable, but I'm not into interior decorating and homemaking the way I imagine Anne would be.  I'd like to have kids one day, but I'm not desperate to.  This puts me at odds with 'Annes' I meet in the country whose greatest desires seem to be marriage and motherhood.  Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with having those desires.  I love marriage, but I'm not really domestic and I prefer to keep my home simple.  I read somewhere on the internet that someone reckoned Anne would be the type of girl every woman would want for a daughter-in-law - but headstrong, obstinate, unfeminine George would be her in-laws' worst nightmare! :)

Now this post is not to praise George and put down Anne.  One is not better than the other.  There are George sins and there are Anne sins.  I'm also NOT saying that every woman who lives in the country loves homemaking like Anne.  There are many ways in which I'm NOT like George.  I find many of the things that George excels at (such as climbing and rowing) either difficult or plain terrifying, and while I enjoy swimming and would like to scuba dive one day, I'm certainly no great talent in those areas.  In many ways, I'm more like Anne - cowardly and timid.  I even look more like Anne.  While I loved watching football and playing cars growing up, I, like Anne, also liked dolls and never wished to be a boy.

But I find it irritating that there seems to be more of an 'Anne culture' in the country than in the city.  I'm sick of people nagging me to have kids.  I'm really not into scrapbooking or card-making and never will be.  It's like they're saying, "When are you going to become like us?"

I'm George, they're Annes.  Don't try and get me to conform, just let me be.  I told this to Duncan recently and he agreed that I'm definitely a George.

George certainly has many faults.  But she is very cool! :)

Images are from http://zezes.com and http://abriefingwithmichael.wordpress.com/category/30-rock/

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Lovebook

I've blogged enough about how fed up I get with Facebook.

But over coffee with a friend, the topic turned to Facebook and I realised that I was not the only one discouraged by narcissism.  My friend and I talked about how or even if we could change the Facebook culture of "Look at me....look at me."  We admitted we often succumb to the temptation of gaining attention for ourselves while neglecting others.

Then the answer came from Facebook itself.


The 30 Day Facebook/Lovebook Challenge was created by a guy called Scott Stirling.  Here's an extract of what he wrote on the Lovebook page:

So much of our lives, especially on Facebook, is all about us. Heard a message (twice!) by Penny Webb at Riverview that got me thinking; its time we focus on others instead of ourselves.
So starting at the beginning of next month, I will be taking the challenge of updating my Facebook status with a positive, true and encouraging comment about somebody else who I know. They'll be tagged in ...the comment, and if you agree with the encouragement, like it and/or comment on. One click at the encouragement multiplies. One click that could change someone's day, or even their life.
It'll be a different person every day, for 30 days. Here's the catch; I challenge you to do the same. One status a day that's not about your own status. One sentence a day where instead of posts that boast about ourselves, we 'love on' other people.

So, inspired by Meredith, who completed the 30 day challenge, I began to write less posts about myself and more about others.  This is not to blow my own trumpet.  Encouraging other people is so easy, yet so difficult at the same time.  I have not done the challenge on consecutive days.  In fact, I've only done 19 days so far and I started in July.

I've also realised that Satan will do anything to stop Christians encouraging others.  He has got in my ear so many times, whispering to me to give up.  At first I was only going to do seven days, but I felt God speaking to me to keep going and do the full 30 days.  So here I am, up to Day 20.  These are some of things I've been hearing from Satan that I've wrestled with along the way.

"You won't encourage that person.  They hate attention.  They'll get embarrassed and then hate you for drawing attention to them on Facebook."

"You hate it when people don't reply to messages, Sarah.  You know some people will not care less whether you said something nice to them.  You're wasting your time."

"You'll look like a tryhard suck.  Save yourself the embarrassment."

"But think of all the comments and likes you could get if you wrote about yourself."

It's strange that something so small as writing an encouraging post about someone on Facebook has turned into such a spiritual battle for me.  Every time Satan whispers his lies, I've had to grit my teeth, declare them to be lies, and remember what God says in His Word.

Galatians 6:9-10 is such an encouragement to me.  We must not grow weary in doing good because we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  God never promised I would see this harvest.  He never promised that people would feel encouraged and thank me for it.  Although the temptation to seek accolades is always there, I have to remind myself that love and obedience is never a waste of time.

So when I hear that voice telling me no-one will ever be encouraged, I hear another one rebuking it.

"But what if they are?  What if someone was really down and your words lifted their spirits?"

Monday, October 10, 2011

Bible Verse of the Day

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:9-10

Friday, October 07, 2011

How Great Thou Art by Stuart K Hine

The other day I was sitting on the verandah having a quiet time.  This is an occasional occurrence for me, so please don't think I'm some sort of super Christian as far as devotions are concerned.  I read the final chapters of 2 Chronicles, enjoying the company of my two dogs and my cat, when I looked out at the green paddocks and spontaneously burst into song (I think the animals were a bit alarmed).

O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.


When through the woods and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come with shout of acclaimation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Quote of the Day

Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances.
- Katie Obenchain

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Facebook 'Friends'

Facebook really is the beast that has revolutionised what we call friendships.  After initial scepticism over what I saw to be another time-wasting activity, I was hooked.  I was meeting up with school friends and other acquaintances I hadn't seen or heard from for years.  Some of these Facebook meetings led to catch ups in the real world.  Other relationships continued to exist only from behind the computer monitor which was fine.  If I wanted advice, I had a couple of hundred people at my fingertips.  I had people to laugh with me at the funny happenings of life.  I could do nothing but sing Mark Zuckerberg's praises.

I joined Facebook in July 2007.  It has probably been sometime over the past two years that my rose-coloured glasses have become askew and I've seen the uglier side of Facebook usage.

A few months ago, I went to Margaret River (a beachside town in the southwest of Western Australia that is popular with yuppies) to visit a friend who lived there at the time.  This friend was recovering from a bulging disc in her back so she needed to spend a lot of time lying down.  This was fine by me because I'd been sick with Helicobacter Pylori and was keen for some downtime.  We went to the video store and got some DVDs.  One of these was The Social Network which I'd been wanting to see for months.

I was very disappointed with the movie.  Besides the dark lighting and the actors' frequent mumbling, I'd been expecting it to be more of a documentary on the psychology of Facebook usage rather than the story of how Facebook came about.  I've always been fascinated by psychology and would have studied it at uni, but my love for the creative arts was stronger.

As I look back on my early days as a Facebooker, I can scarcely believe how naive and foolish I was.  I thought I had encountered a paradise where everyone was civil and relationships would be enhanced.  I've since realised how silly I was to think I'd found a place where sin did not dwell.  Relationships will always be complicated and Facebook is just another medium for this to occur.

I think many of the problems with Facebook conflict stem from different expectations and why we are actually on Facebook in the first place.  When I joined, I really didn't know why I was joining; I joined because a friend invited me and I was curious.  But that was also around the time when Duncan and I got engaged and I knew that I'd be leaving Perth and many friends behind.  I thought I'd found the solution to my problems of wondering how I was going to stay in touch with so many people.

In a nutshell, I see Facebook not as a replacement of friendships, but an extension of them.  Because I can't see people often in real life, Facebook provides a way for me to stay in their lives so I don't get a total shock when I see them next and discover they've had triplets in the meantime.  For me, Facebook is about people.  It's about sharing and caring.  It's about telling others what's going on in my life, but also listening to what's going on in theirs.  I expect people to be the same on Facebook as they are in real life.  There is no 'Facebook persona' and 'real life persona'.  To me, they are one and the same.

But it's become apparent that many people don't see Facebook the way I do.  I'll be honest that this has been a bitter pill to swallow at times.  After seeing The Social Network, my friend commented that she thinks Facebook encourages narcissism and I'm inclined to agree.  For some people, Facebook may well be their stage to broadcast themselves to the world, but not so much to take an interest in the lives of others.  I think this is a temptation for people, like myself, who are isolated, either because of where they live or because of their circumstances (illness, small children at home etc).  Sometimes it is tempting to just rattle off things on my Facebook status because it's like shouting to the world, "I'm still here, I'm still alive."  But I try to limit how much I write because if it results in silence (no comments or likes), I find it hard to bear.

Going deeper on the silence issue, I'm a person who interprets silence as a negative thing.  So if I write something and nobody says anything, I often fall into the trap of interpreting silence as not caring, either not liking what I write or not liking me as a person.  The very wise Meredith once said in a comment on my blog that silence doesn't necessarily mean people don't like what I write, and that if a company gets a 10% response rate to a survey, they see it as a success.  But even after many long chats with myself that I shouldn't take such things personally, I remain unconvinced.  It's silence from friends that has wounded me more than nasty words.  I shake my head when friends remain silent on posts such as my Nan died or I've been very unwell, but will suddenly appear again when I write about something funny my chooks did.  And these are people I had solid friendships with long before Facebook became a part of our lives.  I've heard many people say that they think some people take Facebook too seriously and that it's only meant to be a bit of fun.  That's what happens when there is a real life/Facebook divide.  People think what they say online has no repercussions in real life.

In many cases I've found Facebook has made some relationships MORE complicated and difficult.  I've wanted to cut ties with many people online because I just can't stand how they belittle me on Facebook.  It's like shaming me in front of a crowd (where they know all your Facebook friends can see what they say and your reaction).  Because of this, I've wanted to cut them off in real life as well, but I haven't in many cases because of Duncan.  Some other friends have said the same; they've wanted to unfriend people online but haven't because it would make their real life relationships awkward (particularly if that person is family). If I unfriend someone who is a mutual friend of ours, it also makes things awkward for Duncan.  I can understand why some people take unfriending personally, even if the person who is unfriending them is simply having a massive 'friend cleanout'.  It kind of is a rejection in a way because why were you shafted when others were allowed to stay?  I probably think this way because when I unfriend it's because of something that person did, not because I just wanted to keep in touch with a smaller group of people.

Sometimes I think Facebook is like a mirror which shows us what ourselves and others are REALLY like.  Instead of solving our friendship dilemmas of distance and busyness, it has made our relationships more complicated and stressful.  For example, what do you do about people who say they use Facebook to stay in touch, but never reply to messages?  I've heard people say they haven't been on Facebook for ages, yet my newsfeed says differently. I wonder where some people's priorities lie when they seem to have plenty of time for games yet are too busy for their friends.  Sadly I've deliberately let what used to be good friendships fall by the wayside because Facebook has revealed to me more about those people than years of knowing them in person did.  I thought online was meant to be fake.  It isn't.

Of course, many of the problems that arise stem from the fact that Facebook labels everyone as your 'friend', when that's far from the truth.  Lately they seem to be introducing more and more filters and categories so you can determine who sees what, even among your friends.  I used to be against such things, but I now see them as a necessity when you know from experience that some twits will hold things against you.

I'm still a Facebook user, but less of a fan.  I've considered deactivating my profile too many times to count, and I've wondered which is better for my health - to have some form of contact and put up with a few knobs, or have complete silence?  Ultimately silence doesn't appeal to me because it feels like I'm in a dark room, shouting to people who you know are in there, but I can't see or hear them because they prefer to just lurk while I feel more and more alone.  I use it because otherwise I'd go mental living out here without some form of contact, and because, if I didn't, I'd fall of some people's radars completely.  Ultimately Facebook is just another medium where sin can grow rampant in the forms of overt narcissism, lack of care and consideration for others, lopsided friendships and even exclusion.  Sure, Facebook can be a lot of fun, but at times we need to take it seriously because we need to take sin seriously.  On Facebook you have the awkward experience of asking others to be your friend - a deliberate action - whereas real life friendships are more naturally formed.  I don't go around asking people to be my friend in real life - that sounds like I'm asking them on a date.  This probably explains why I wait to be added rather than taking the initiative.

Please share your thoughts and experiences with Facebook.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Quote of the Day

Friends are like stars.  You can't always see them, but you know they are there.
- Hulali Luta