Since my relapse with postnatal depression, I have struggled to trust God through it all. I have raged and wondered why does He need to use such difficult circumstances to make me more like Jesus. It's like I know He's good in my head, yet, when it comes to the crunch, I realise I still believe that all He wants me to experience is pain.
I can't speak/write highly enough of this book! God really used it to speak to me while I was in the darkest valley. I could post quote after quote, but I will restrain myself. Here are just some of the things I learned from it.
- It is easier to obey God than trust Him. This is definitely an issue for me. I can see that God's way of living is good and right, yet I struggle to trust Him as my Lord and God, who is sovereign over all things.
- I often feel so angry at God because it is MY plans that have been dashed. I struggle to accept that my carefully-laid plans for myself are nothing compared to what He has planned for me.
- Sometimes we say that God is in the good, but not in the bad. To a friend with cancer we might say that God ALLOWED their cancer to happen, but He didn't CAUSE it. This makes it sound like God is not really in control. Scripture clearly refutes this. God brings prosperity and creates disaster (Isaiah 45:7) and both calamities and good things come from His mouth (Lamentations 3:38). I admit, I struggle with this. Even Christians often think as deists today. Many accept the concept that God is sovereign, but believe that He chooses not to exercise His sovereignty in the daily affairs of our lives (page 29). But God is always using these things for our good, even when we cannot possibly see how.
- We have a God who is totally powerful AND totally good (something I know, but need to keep learning over and over).
- It is not only an irreverent act to question God's wisdom, it is also spiritually debilitating. We not only besmirch God's glory, we also deprive ourselves of the comfort and peace that comes by simply trusting Him without requiring an explanation (page 140). I was so angry at God that I had relapsed that I demanded He explain to me why this was happening again. But God owes me nothing. I just need to trust in His love.