Friday, March 04, 2016

Friday Funny


A paraprisdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation. "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprisdokian.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

3. Evening news is where they begin with, "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

4. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

5. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'Doctor'.

6. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

7. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

8. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

9. Where there's a will, there's relatives.

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