It has been six days since Nan passed away. Her funeral is tomorrow and I’ll be speaking on my memories of her. Please pray that God will grant me the strength to do this without crying. I don't mean to sound like a cheesy Christian greeting card, but the Lord really has been my strength and comfort this week.
This week has crawled by. I constantly have to keep checking what day it is because I have never known such a slow week. I have been busy preparing the order of service for the funeral home to print, writing my speech for Saturday, and putting together a photo board of Nan for the wake which will be at my parents’ house.
I do feel mostly at peace, but I’m still not ready to see hoards of people yet. I’m imagining the wake will be quite difficult and I’ll have to leave the room occasionally just to stay sane. At the moment, the beach is proving to be a place of solace. Strangely enough, after struggling with fatigue recently, I suddenly have so much energy, I’m doing some kind of physical activity every day – walking and swimming mostly. In fact, I feel like I could walk all day. I wonder how long that will last.
But by far the hardest thing this week has been living in a house with people who are grieving for the same person. Mostly I’m content with my own silence. I don’t feel the need to talk about Nan all the time, but my Mum does so I’m needing extra doses of patience to deal with her incessant chattering. Even though I don’t feel the need to talk, I’m trying to be understanding with her way of dealing with things. But on Sunday night, she started yelling at me because I was struggling a bit, and I was told that she didn’t want to hear about how I was feeling. So basically I have to be there for her when she wants to talk, but otherwise maintain stoic silence and be there to help practically. It took a few days for her to realise that was unreasonable and apologise. I think I need someone who wasn’t as close to Nan to talk to when I do feel the need to talk – not someone who’s grieving themselves.
I really have to say that I have some fantastic friends. Thank you so much for all you’ve said and done. Of course, as with most sad occasions, you find out who your true friends are – the ones who go out of their way, instead of saying nothing.
If you’re the praying type, please chuck up a prayer for me tomorrow as I prepare to officially say goodbye.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Before....
I've been staying in Albany for a week now. I came down because the renovations were due to commence on our house, and I don't have the patience to live among mess! Kudos to people who manage to renovate their house and live in it at the same time. The house needs new carpets, lino, painting, curtains, and there are many things that need to be fixed such as broken windows, busted taps, and cupboard doors. Plus the lounge room ceiling needs to be replaced, and there is a hole in the kitchen ceiling.
I thought I'd post a few photos of the house so you can see what it is currently like. Hopefully the 'After' photos will show a stunning transformation.
I thought I'd post a few photos of the house so you can see what it is currently like. Hopefully the 'After' photos will show a stunning transformation.
Kitchen
Bathroom
Loungeroom
Main bedroom. Who in their right mind would paint it that colour or do such a shoddy job in closing up an old window?
Dining room.
Bedroom
Bedroom
Laundry
The pictures don't show the dirt....or the insects.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Last Battle
I wish I had happier news to start 2011, but it's not to be.
My Nan passed away in the early hours of Saturday 8th January. She was 97 and less than two weeks shy of her 98th birthday. Not quite a century, but still a very long innings.
I wrote in my post Friday Focus - But Even If He Should Not about how my Nan was flown to Perth from Albany on Sunday 25th July suffering a blood clot in her foot. Miraculously she survived surgery (which was a success) after being willing to have her leg amputated if need be.
But as the months wore on, she faced battle after battle after her stay in hospital revealed a host of other health problems. One of the valves in her heart wasn't working meaning her heart wasn't pumping oxygen adequately, and she had difficulty breathing. Further tests revealed she had cancer although the type was never determined due to treatment not being an option.
In the end, Nan had to go into a nursing home which she hated. She always said she'd rather die than go into a home. In the end, she became very depressed and lost her will to live. She passed away peacefully in her sleep.
I tried to share the gospel with her and in the end I could see that her attitude towards God was softening a little. She told me she wasn't ready to die at first, and I tried to tell her how she could be at peace with God through Jesus. As the months went by, she said she just wanted to die, but whether she turned to Jesus or not, I'll never know in this lifetime.
I miss her terribly, but I can still smile at all the funny things she said and did. I feel very blessed to have had her as my Nan for 27 years.
My Nan passed away in the early hours of Saturday 8th January. She was 97 and less than two weeks shy of her 98th birthday. Not quite a century, but still a very long innings.
I wrote in my post Friday Focus - But Even If He Should Not about how my Nan was flown to Perth from Albany on Sunday 25th July suffering a blood clot in her foot. Miraculously she survived surgery (which was a success) after being willing to have her leg amputated if need be.
But as the months wore on, she faced battle after battle after her stay in hospital revealed a host of other health problems. One of the valves in her heart wasn't working meaning her heart wasn't pumping oxygen adequately, and she had difficulty breathing. Further tests revealed she had cancer although the type was never determined due to treatment not being an option.
In the end, Nan had to go into a nursing home which she hated. She always said she'd rather die than go into a home. In the end, she became very depressed and lost her will to live. She passed away peacefully in her sleep.
I tried to share the gospel with her and in the end I could see that her attitude towards God was softening a little. She told me she wasn't ready to die at first, and I tried to tell her how she could be at peace with God through Jesus. As the months went by, she said she just wanted to die, but whether she turned to Jesus or not, I'll never know in this lifetime.
I miss her terribly, but I can still smile at all the funny things she said and did. I feel very blessed to have had her as my Nan for 27 years.
Nan at 17.
Nan in the nursing home wearing her Christmas antlers. I'm surprised she agreed to it actually.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Small Groups: Head and Body
Whoa, long time since I have updated this series!
In my previous two posts, I discussed that groups need to lay down some ground rules when they commence meeting so that expectations are clear, and that there are advantages and disadvantages in single gender and mixed groups.
Another obvious question for a newly-formed group is: Who should lead?
In my experience, groups work best when there is a leader. It seems very nice and egalitarian to attempt a group without obvious leadership, but whether a leader is chosen or not, dominant personalities with leadership gifts tend to rise to the fore. In my opinion, this is a good thing, because if the group consisted of shy, compliant people, no major decisions would ever be made (democracy at its worst).
Even when I have been meeting in a small, small group (two or three people, including myself), someone always becomes the leader. This is natural.
However, people have busy lives which makes it hard for the leaders to pour their efforts into the group and prepare material to study. Our Bible study group in Dalwallinu went into recess during seeding and harvest because the majority of the group members were farmers. This is why it is ideal to have several leaders who can share the load, and for the established leaders to suss out who would like to have a go at leading.
Of course, those members of the group who don’t lead still have a role to play. I know I shouldn’t, but I do wonder why some people never contribute in groups; they come, they don’t say anything, and then leave, almost like they don’t really want to be there, and are coming out of duty. It takes a while to become comfortable to speak up in a new group, particularly if you don’t already know the group members well. But like the church is a body, quieter group members still have a role to play, whether it be bringing food to share, offering their home as a place to meet, following up with other group members during the week, emailing prayer points for various group members (if a Christian small group) to remind the group to pray for each other continually, and many other acts of service.
I know when I’ve had a go at leading in small groups, I’ve really appreciated those who are encouraging and tactful, and felt intimidated by people who want to ‘test’ me. Offering opportunities for budding leaders to be trained is vital to keep the group healthy in the long-term.
In my previous two posts, I discussed that groups need to lay down some ground rules when they commence meeting so that expectations are clear, and that there are advantages and disadvantages in single gender and mixed groups.
Another obvious question for a newly-formed group is: Who should lead?
In my experience, groups work best when there is a leader. It seems very nice and egalitarian to attempt a group without obvious leadership, but whether a leader is chosen or not, dominant personalities with leadership gifts tend to rise to the fore. In my opinion, this is a good thing, because if the group consisted of shy, compliant people, no major decisions would ever be made (democracy at its worst).
Even when I have been meeting in a small, small group (two or three people, including myself), someone always becomes the leader. This is natural.
However, people have busy lives which makes it hard for the leaders to pour their efforts into the group and prepare material to study. Our Bible study group in Dalwallinu went into recess during seeding and harvest because the majority of the group members were farmers. This is why it is ideal to have several leaders who can share the load, and for the established leaders to suss out who would like to have a go at leading.
Of course, those members of the group who don’t lead still have a role to play. I know I shouldn’t, but I do wonder why some people never contribute in groups; they come, they don’t say anything, and then leave, almost like they don’t really want to be there, and are coming out of duty. It takes a while to become comfortable to speak up in a new group, particularly if you don’t already know the group members well. But like the church is a body, quieter group members still have a role to play, whether it be bringing food to share, offering their home as a place to meet, following up with other group members during the week, emailing prayer points for various group members (if a Christian small group) to remind the group to pray for each other continually, and many other acts of service.
I know when I’ve had a go at leading in small groups, I’ve really appreciated those who are encouraging and tactful, and felt intimidated by people who want to ‘test’ me. Offering opportunities for budding leaders to be trained is vital to keep the group healthy in the long-term.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
From Head to Hand: Tall Poppy Syndrome
As I continue to edit my first novel, and interested family and friends ask questions about the storyline and characters, I am becoming more and more aware that my book will not appeal to everyone.
And that’s ok.
Seriously, who can write a book that will appeal to everyone? Nor do I want to attempt that feat. I am writing, first and foremost, for myself, and if others like it, great! If they don’t, too bad. Of course I am hoping for a considerably large readership so that my first major writing venture may be successful, but I will not compromise my own passions and interests and become a slave to the ‘audience’.
I also know that some of my friends and family will have no qualms with letting me know all about it should they dislike my book. Not only do I seem to be a magnet for such outspoken people, I’m already aware that some people consider themselves designated literary critics. I often hear them complaining about the latest bestseller, lamenting how such a lame piece of work (in their eyes) could have become such a hit. “That author can’t string a decent sentence together,” they complain.
Then there are those who automatically loath anything that becomes popular and mainstream – simply because it is popular and mainstream. The Harry Potter series seems to be on the receiving end from these critics who prefer the quirky, offbeat, and ‘undiscovered’ pieces of literature. Then when the alternative becomes mainstream, they either don’t like it anymore, or claim loudly that THEY were the ones who discovered it first. When I ask them if they’d actually read something popular, such as Harry Potter, they reply, “No, why would I waste my time?”
Hmmm don’t judge a book by its cover.
As my book has edged closer and closer to being submitted to a literary agent, I am becoming increasingly aware of when I ungraciously spit out my own destructive criticisms on other artists. It’s easy to wonder how exactly some Hollywood celebrities did manage to grace the red carpet when they seem devoid of talent, but it’s also easy to be an armchair critic when you have never actually attempted any creative work yourself. Now that I’m attempting to become a published author, it sure would hurt if some of my loved ones hurled the same contempt at me and my book that they reserve for Britney Spears. We really do need to ask ourselves, “What have WE done that’s better than them?” Have we got a bad case of the green-eyed monster? Is Tall Poppy Syndrome coming into play?
I know some people will be less than gentle with my creative work because they are less than gentle people with their words full stop! But it won’t stop me asking for people to be gracious and tactful. I’m not writing this book because I want to invite everyone to give an opinion; I’m writing mostly for myself, and to tell a fictitious story that I hope will bring much entertainment.
If you’re an artist of any kind, then you’ll probably be able to relate to this. It’s a scary process putting our work out there because often we’re putting a part of our heart and soul out there. Please don’t be discouraged. Critics will come, but it’s also an opportunity if they don’t like it to dare them to do it better.
And that’s ok.
Seriously, who can write a book that will appeal to everyone? Nor do I want to attempt that feat. I am writing, first and foremost, for myself, and if others like it, great! If they don’t, too bad. Of course I am hoping for a considerably large readership so that my first major writing venture may be successful, but I will not compromise my own passions and interests and become a slave to the ‘audience’.
I also know that some of my friends and family will have no qualms with letting me know all about it should they dislike my book. Not only do I seem to be a magnet for such outspoken people, I’m already aware that some people consider themselves designated literary critics. I often hear them complaining about the latest bestseller, lamenting how such a lame piece of work (in their eyes) could have become such a hit. “That author can’t string a decent sentence together,” they complain.
Then there are those who automatically loath anything that becomes popular and mainstream – simply because it is popular and mainstream. The Harry Potter series seems to be on the receiving end from these critics who prefer the quirky, offbeat, and ‘undiscovered’ pieces of literature. Then when the alternative becomes mainstream, they either don’t like it anymore, or claim loudly that THEY were the ones who discovered it first. When I ask them if they’d actually read something popular, such as Harry Potter, they reply, “No, why would I waste my time?”
Hmmm don’t judge a book by its cover.
As my book has edged closer and closer to being submitted to a literary agent, I am becoming increasingly aware of when I ungraciously spit out my own destructive criticisms on other artists. It’s easy to wonder how exactly some Hollywood celebrities did manage to grace the red carpet when they seem devoid of talent, but it’s also easy to be an armchair critic when you have never actually attempted any creative work yourself. Now that I’m attempting to become a published author, it sure would hurt if some of my loved ones hurled the same contempt at me and my book that they reserve for Britney Spears. We really do need to ask ourselves, “What have WE done that’s better than them?” Have we got a bad case of the green-eyed monster? Is Tall Poppy Syndrome coming into play?
I know some people will be less than gentle with my creative work because they are less than gentle people with their words full stop! But it won’t stop me asking for people to be gracious and tactful. I’m not writing this book because I want to invite everyone to give an opinion; I’m writing mostly for myself, and to tell a fictitious story that I hope will bring much entertainment.
If you’re an artist of any kind, then you’ll probably be able to relate to this. It’s a scary process putting our work out there because often we’re putting a part of our heart and soul out there. Please don’t be discouraged. Critics will come, but it’s also an opportunity if they don’t like it to dare them to do it better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)