Opinion Etiquette

I think there must be some reason why rude, opinionated people are gravitated to me, but I still can't figure it out.  Maybe it's because they think that I look stupid enough to listen to their 'advice'?   Ha, I think not!

I remember when I lived in Perth, I was chatting to another person after church, and another member of the congregation approached us.  I assumed they wanted to join our conversation so I was most shocked when all they said was, "Sarah, fisherman's pants were trendy a few years ago," and then walked off, leaving me too bewildered to offer a witty response.  I think it's safe to assume they weren't joking.  I've had a few run-ins with this person and their rather pointed tongue.

On another occasion, I was hanging out with a fellow Christian at uni when she suddenly looked at my clothes and said, "You dress very plain, don't you."  Again, I was too open-mouthed to say anything.

Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised at these two instances.  All my life people seem to have felt it was their right to come up to me and say they don't like my haircut, or I should have cut my hair this way or that way.  I suspect that was why I copped so much flak about our wedding plans not suiting certain selfish individuals.  I obviously look so weak and pathetic that people think they can manipulate me this way.

What people don't seem to realise is that I don't want their outspoken opinions, and that they should learn some manners!  When I want opinions, I'll ask for them.  I happen to like clothes that are little bit different or 'out there', and I don't see why that should bother other people.  In fact, I rarely ask for opinions when clothes shopping because I like what I like, and that's that.  The strange thing is, the two people who so rudely criticised my clothing are no great beauties themselves!  Perhaps putting me down made them feel better about this...perhaps.

There are lots of people who I personally think could do with a darn good makeover.  I would love to take them shopping for a whole new wardrobe or convince them to visit the hairdresser and ask for something OTHER than the same old daggy haircut they've had for the past ten years.  But I don't because what people wear is up to them.  It's none of my business, and my opinion is not gospel.  I believe that people should wear what they enjoy whether it meets other people's tastes or not.

There is a time when people may ask for your opinion, but that is still a time to speak lovingly, and not bluntly.  If I see a Facebook friend has got a haircut which I don't think is that great, I say nothing.  If I see they've got a great haircut, I let them know how good I think it makes them look.  It's better to encourage than tear down.

Of course the most important thing we should be speaking up against is CHARACTER - not appearance.

Then there's the old saying, "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it at all."

If you dislike another's choice,
It doesn't mean you need to voice,
Opinions that just criticise.
Keeping quiet would be more wise.

Unless you're saying something nice,
Holding your tongue will suffice.
They may not look good in pink,
But no-one asked what you think.