Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Going Downhill

Today I had a follow-up appointment with our nearest mental health service. It couldn't have come soon enough as I've been going downhill during the last month or so. The bad days have become more frequent, I feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with daily tasks and stresses, and, to be frank, I've wanted to end it all. I'm probably on par with how I was when I first went to hospital, but I don't want to be readmitted. It would break Rory's heart. I can't do that to him.

My medication is getting increased and I'll have a mental health nurse visiting me weekly at home, but, other than that, there's not much more they can do. There's just no other support available locally. I really need in-house help, but there's no-one.

I feel angry. I don't want to move to Perth, but I want the support services that my MBU friends get. I don't have the energy required to move to the city, but I can't see how I'll ever get well out here.

Monday, February 29, 2016

5 Blog Posts on Parenting That I Can Relate To At the Moment

1. Ten Tips For Getting the Balance Right with Kids and Food - No Reading at the Breakfast Table
2. Slow Parenting - No Reading at the Breakfast Table
3. How I Won the Vegie War: Part One - The Key to the Door
4. How I Won the Vegie War - Part Two - The Key to the Door
5. A Question About Feeding Toddlers - In All Honesty

I wonder if you can guess which child is causing me the most grief right now....

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Duncan's Improved Beak

My darling husband had suffered from migraines since before I knew him, and they've been getting more frequent and intense during the past year or so.

One night I was listening to him breathe (because his snoring was keeping me awake), and was shocked by how erratic his breathing was. I began to wonder if he was suffering from sleep apnoea. Now, I'm no doctor, but I realised that all of his migraines began before he woke up in the morning. By the time he got up and out of bed, it was already full blown. He'd start vomiting and had trouble taking any pain relief. I wondered if a lack of oxygen, due to his erratic breathing, was a major cause of his migraines.

After much wifely nagging, he saw a doctor and got a referral for a sleep test, and also to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist. The sleep test showed he had mild sleep apnoea, and an X-Ray showed he had crooked nasal passages and a polyp next to his tonsils.

Last month, he had surgery to correct it. I'm pleased to say he has recovered well, his snoring has decreased dramatically, and he's yet to have another migraine (although he's had headaches).

This is the photo he put on Facebook after his surgery. Selfie of the Year, I reckon.


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

5 Annoying Words/Phrases Which People Use Frequently on Facebook

1. I love you to the moon and back.
2. Cutie-patootie
3. Fam bam
4. Totes
5. Karma will get you/bite you in the bum.

What are some words/phrases which people use on Facebook that really annoy you?

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Bible Verse of the Day

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you.
Isaiah 49:15

Friday, February 19, 2016

Trusting God

It often takes a certain situation to motivate me to read a book that's been sitting in my bookcase for a while.  As I was packing to go to the MBU, I grabbed Trusting God by Jerry Bridges from the shelf.

Since my relapse with postnatal depression, I have struggled to trust God through it all.  I have raged and wondered why does He need to use such difficult circumstances to make me more like Jesus.  It's like I know He's good in my head, yet, when it comes to the crunch, I realise I still believe that all He wants me to experience is pain.

I can't speak/write highly enough of this book!  God really used it to speak to me while I was in the darkest valley.  I could post quote after quote, but I will restrain myself.  Here are just some of the things I learned from it.

  • It is easier to obey God than trust Him.  This is definitely an issue for me.  I can see that God's way of living is good and right, yet I struggle to trust Him as my Lord and God, who is sovereign over all things.
  • I often feel so angry at God because it is MY plans that have been dashed.  I struggle to accept that my carefully-laid plans for myself are nothing compared to what He has planned for me.
  • Sometimes we say that God is in the good, but not in the bad.  To a friend with cancer we might say that God ALLOWED their cancer to happen, but He didn't CAUSE it.  This makes it sound like God is not really in control.  Scripture clearly refutes this.  God brings prosperity and creates disaster (Isaiah 45:7) and both calamities and good things come from His mouth (Lamentations 3:38).  I admit, I struggle with this.  Even Christians often think as deists today.  Many accept the concept that God is sovereign, but believe that He chooses not to exercise His sovereignty in the daily affairs of our lives (page 29).  But God is always using these things for our good, even when we cannot possibly see how.
  • We have a God who is totally powerful AND totally good (something I know, but need to keep learning over and over).
  • It is not only an irreverent act to question God's wisdom, it is also spiritually debilitating.  We not only besmirch God's glory, we also deprive ourselves  of the comfort and peace that comes by simply trusting Him without requiring an explanation (page 140).  I was so angry at God that I had relapsed that I demanded He explain to me why this was happening again.  But God owes me nothing.  I just need to trust in His love.
This is just a small taste of the riches of this book.  There are so many encouraging Scriptures quoted throughout, urging readers to trust in our loving and all-powerful, sovereign God.  While I am by no means now perfectly trusting God, this book helped redirect me back to God's Word and how He has proved once and for all at the cross that He is both loving and sovereign, and completely worthy of our trust.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Bible Verse of the Day

Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love. For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Lamentations 3:32-33