My New Cousin

I have a new cousin, Linnéa. Well, technically she is my first cousin once removed. She was born to my cousin, Huw and his fiancee, Anna on 6th August.

I got to meet her a week or so ago and they gave me some photos.

Isn't she cute.

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique. You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?

Give It Over To God

This phrase is often thrown around in Christian circles and I'm frustrated because I have no idea what it means......

The context of this advice being given is usually to comfort a fellow Christian who is worried or stressed about something and not sure what to do about it. I know I've given this advice to people in the past and now I feel bad about it because I don't even know what it means to give something over to God myself. However to make sense of everything I'm thinking at the moment I'm just going to write it all down on my blog.

1. I'm presuming that it's got something to do with ceasing to worry about the circumstances and trusting that God will fix it for you - 1 Peter 5:7.
2. This implies a passive approach - that we don't actually have to DO anything to rectify the situation and that we just sit on our bums and wait for God to make everything ok again.
3. This also implies WAITING for God to fix things. (Personally I hate waiting) - Psalm 37:7
4. It implies God WILL fix things. Otherwise why give it over to him? - Matthew 7:7-8, Psalm 37:4, Matthew 21:22
5. If we're not worrying about it, then we must be at peace - Philippians 4:6-7.

Ok, now here are the problems I have with this advice...
1. How do you STOP worrying about something? I know I want to stop worrying about various things but it's not that easy to put into practice. What about people that have been praying for things for years - the unemployed person praying for a job, the wrongly imprisoned person praying for freedom, the single person praying for a spouse, the childless couple praying for a child, the person praying for the salvation of their unsaved friends and family... These are big issues in people's lives. How are they just meant to stop worrying about it and switch off their worry like a tap? Does the Spirit help us?

2. If we take the passive approach and sit on our bums waiting for God to act, doesn't that mean we might miss out? When do we wait and when should we be proactive? For example, a guy sees a top Christian woman and thinks he wants to be with her but someone tells him to "give it over to God". So he sits and waits thinking God will give him in this woman when the time is right. Time goes on, he never approaches her and eventually this woman marries someone else. The man is devastated. Isn't this an example of how it "giving it over to God" SHOULDN'T be applied?

3. As I mentioned above, 'giving it over to God' implies that he will take care of it and give us what we want. But what if he doesn't? Sometimes people pray for something for years and never get it. Or they have to wait a ridiculously long time and in the meantime grow more bitter, disappointed and often angry at God. It's easy to take a spectator's view and say to them "Oh well, God knows best. You can't expect to get everything. It obviously wouldn't be best for you to have this thing." Maybe we can't expect God to give us everything we want but this stuff really HURTS.

I couldn't talk about 'giving it over to God' without touching on the topic of prayer. Prayer is how we talk to God about our joys and frustrations and ask him for things. I don't know about you but I used to find stories of God granting people the desires of their hearts to be refreshing and encouraging. Now I don't.

It's tempting to look for the Hollywood ending. Cinderella finally gets her Prince and everything turns out good in the end. Even the Bible is full of those stories. Job loses everything but gets even more back. Hannah finally has a son. And we hear these stories in people's lives. In one sense, I am encouraged because it shows that God is good and loves to give good gifts to his children. And it's easy to overlook the years of hardship, suffering and waiting the person had to endure before they got what they'd been praying for because in the end everything turned out all right for them. But it doesn't always work like that. I know I've been praying for things for years, only to people with the same prayers get their prayers answered. I think, "it's not fair God". I don't begrudge people these things, it's just that I want them too. And it's hard to understand why God gave it to them and not me. I think, "well that's very nice that you gave it to that person, but what about me?"

This leads onto something else. I feel convicted of trying to manipulate God in prayer. Like if I pray a certain way, use certain words or copy the prayer of someone who got their prayer answered, God will give me what I want too. Now I know he doesn't work like that (sorry God). A few years ago, a friend shared with me how she had been praying for something specific but God had not given it to her. In the end, she stopped praying for it and instead asked God to do his will. And he did. A short time later and she got what she'd been praying for. I thought this was great so I prayed that God would do his will for me too, thinking that he'd give me what I'd secretly been wanting. But he hasn't and I've learnt that his will for her life is obviously very different from mine. So maybe he IS doing his will in my life, it's just not what I WANT.

Are we committing idolatry for wanting things too badly? For ages, I couldn't understand how two desperate people could throw themselves at God's feet and beg for something in prayer - and he'd give it to one but not the other. Surely if one person was being idolaterous for wanting something too much, then the other was too? So why give it one but not both or neither?

In Christian circles, it's often said that there are two types of prayers - 'red ferrari' prayers (praying for material possessions) and 'Hannah' prayers (ie. praying for a child, spouse, unsaved friends). Personally I don't think the categories can be so neat. Maybe it depends on our motivation for wanting it.

What does 'giving it over to God' look like in prayer? Over the years, I've heard many examples (yes, those 'encouraging' stories again).
1. Some people stop praying for something because it's on their mind so much and refuse to talk to God about it again. Instead they just pray about other things.
2. Others pray continuously (like the persistent widow or the PUSH bracelets - Pray Until Something Happens).

From both examples, I've had people say they got what they wanted. It's like they're advocating this as a sure fire way of getting what you want from God. But, as I've said before, God doesn't always give us what we want. Option 1 is often advised as being the best way, yet I was reading 1 Samuel 1 the other day and Hannah prayed and wept and asked God to remember her - and eventually God opened her womb and she had Samuel. I've tried not praying, praying desperately, crying, yelling at God - nothing has worked. I don't want to try and manipulate him anymore. I just want to trust him.

It probably all comes down to the fact that every time I pray, I assume God is going to say no. Lately he just keeps shutting very door I try to go through. Don't we get all surprised when God does give us what we want (Acts 12:1-19). I feel it's so drummed into my head that he'll say "no" or "wait" that I hardly ever expect him to say "yes" anymore.

I know life won't always be comfortable on this earth as a follower of Christ. I just want God to hold to his promises that he loves to give good gifts to his children and bless them - that it won't necessarily all be doom and gloom on earth while we wait. And I want to trust him and be glad. I guess contentment has to be learned (Philippians 4:11-13). My prayer is Psalm 13:1. How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

What do you think 'giving it over to God' means and how does it look on a practical level?

Chocolate Friday

I've read a lot of blogs that have 'Photo Friday' where the blogger posts a photo on a particular theme. I don't have Photo Friday but I do have 'Chocolate Friday'.

What's that?

Well, being the chocoholic I am, I decided drastic action was needed to curb my habit. So I invented Chocolate Friday. Every Friday I allow myself to eat chocolate (not too much though) and I fast from it for the rest of the week.

This has worked reasonably well although sometimes I have chocolate when I catch up with friends....or at work when someone puts M&Ms in the lolly bowl....occasionally Chocolate Friday has turned into Chocolate Thursday....or Chocolate Tuesday.....Ok, enough! Bad bad Sarah!

At least I'm improving, I guess. Before I invented Chocolate Friday, I was having chocolate every day. I foolishly told some of my workmates about Chocolate Friday and now they try to tempt me on other days of the week. Mean mean workmates ;)

Men, I know you don't understand the big deal with women and chocolate. I can't really explain it either but apparantly it has some kind of chemical affect on our brain :)

Chocolate Friday has made appreciate chocolate and Fridays so much more and not be such a pig :D

This was taken at the CCC camp recently. Of course, if I'm eating chocolate, it's gotta be someone elses ;)

Need I Say More.....

I got this emailed to me at work yesterday.

It doesn't even look like an eagle. Looks more half-parrot, half-chicken to me.

Feral Dorkers fans!

A Psalm of Sarah

We've been looking at various psalms at church over the past few weeks which I've found really great. As I've read through the different psalms and listened to the sermons, I've been struck by David's writing and have found it a great encouragement in times of trouble. If I'd been asked who my favourite biblical character was (bar Jesus), I would have said Peter (and a lot of people think that's a weird choice - "What? He denied Jesus. You admire him?") But now, after reading psalms, I would definitely add David to that list.

After reading Psalm 13, I was struck by David's honesty where suffering is concerned. He openly prays his fears and his sorrow. He is so bold as to cry out to God for answers and asking to God to act and defeat his enemies. In Psalm 3, he prays for God to strike his enemies on the jaw and break all their teeth. I have to say, I feel uncomfortable praying that. I want evil to be defeated yet I also want God to have mercy on many people. What David prays is what so many of us are thinking and feeling regarding sorrow and suffering. But we never admit it. When people ask us how we are, we say "Good", when we're not. I think many people at church were struck by the fact that David, himself, identifies with us as he lived an often difficult life with much opposition. And that's it's ok to cry out to God in times of distress. We can have confidence that God listens and cares for us. How awesome is that? I forget it all too often but it is something great to reflect on.

Many of the psalms have a similar pattern to them. They start off with the psalmist crying out to God about his suffering yet end in him giving praise to God with a heart of gratitude about all he has done. That's how I want to pray - asking God for help, yet remembering he is a good God and a faithful God who has already given me so much. I am so thankful for the psalms and that they were recorded for us. David stuffed up badly at many times in his life, yet God still called him "a man after his own heart".

On the topic of gladness and praise, I asked for prayer once that I would have an attitude like Pollyanna. For those of you haven't seen the movie, you can read reviews of it here, but basically it's about an orphan girl, whose father was a minister, who is sent to live with her rich but cold aunt. There are many problems in the town they live in - divisions and generally just people who are bitter and angry. Yet, Pollyanna, always finds a reason to be glad and slowly the townsfolk begin to be transformed by her "glad game" and her kindness. When something terrible happens to Pollyanna and she can't find a reason to be glad, they rally around her and she can see just what an impact she has had on their lives, even though she didn't purposely set out trying to change everyone.

I've had a pretty bad week this week but I still want to find a reason to thank God for his many blessings, even when they are difficult to see. The weekend before that was brilliant, the best one I've had in ages. I didn't ask God for a good weekend - in his mercy and kindness, he just gave it to me.

* It started on Friday night (18th). At work, Emma smsed me asking if we could go and look at some bridesmaids dresses she'd seen the night before and wanted to buy before they sold out. The other two bridesmaids are Jennifer (Emma's sister) and Amy (Emma's friend from her church). Since Jennifer lives in Albany; Emma, Amy and I went to Intangible in the city to check out the dresses. They were lovely and we bought/laybyed them. It was great seeing Emma so excited.
* After that, I went to my friend Craig's house to watch Munich with him and some other friends from church. The movie was pretty powerful and gruesome (full on nudity and violence - not one for the little tackers) and was based upon the murder of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Great night though with lots of yummy food - pizza, Pods, M&Ms....(healthy aren't we?)
* On Saturday I went to the Perth Women's Convention, which was full of great teaching and fellowship. The topic was Following the God of Promise with talks from Numbers and Hebrews.
* After that, I went home and then Emma and I went down to Mandurah to visit our good friend Rhianon (aka Fizz) and her husband Linton who moved there a few months ago. We went out to dinner at the yummiest Italian restaurant, Paparazzi (Italian is my favourite cuisine). Then we went to their new house and us girls, stayed up late eating chocolate and reminiscing about all the fun we used to have in high school. The three of us don't get to catch up together all that often so it was great to be spending time all together again.
* The next day, Emma and I drove back to Perth and I went to a course called Sharing My Faith which is being run by my church.
* The Eagles whipped Brisbane's arse by 62 points.

So as you can see, I was VERY happy. This last week, however, has been a frustrating 'walking in the desert' week.
* I've been sick with a lingering cold and sore throat all week. I've gotten a bit better but my nose still feels like a running river (sorry if that grossed you out).
* I've had to teach quite a few classes at work and there has been no-one to cover me, so I've worked hard all week, despite being sick. One class was particularly frustrating to teach - there was a lady in it who had very poor computer skills. I tried to help her but my patience was tested.
* I am going to be moving desks at work because I'm now working with Health students instead of Business students. I'm a bit sad about this because I enjoy sharing a 'pod' with the three workmates I sit with. They are so much fun and we make each other laugh.
* I did the City to Surf , despite being still sick and not doing much exercise in the lead up to it. Yes, doing a 12km walk was a bit dumb and now my muscles are telling me all about it. I am SO sore. I justified my decision to do it because a) I'd already paid and registered b) I thought the fresh air would be good for me and c) It's helping disabled people. Well, now I feel like a disabled person - walking hurts.
* The Eagles put in a woeful performance against a rampaging Dorkers outfit. They didn't even fight. And then I had cop flak from their pesky supporters. Maybe God was punishing me for writing my scathing post about the Dorkers and also because he wants to show me that HE is way more important than football.

So that's the bad stuff but, like Pollyanna, I want to give praise to God so here goes. And I am genuinely thankful about these things.
* I had to teach less students than I thought because a lot of them didn't show up (slackers!). It was much easier for me though cos my voice was practically gone and I didn't have to shout to lots of students. The ones that came were very understanding and thankful for the session.
* Bible study was held at my house this week cos Tammy was over east. So I didn't have to go out in the cold.
* I MADE IT to the finish line in the City to Surf. And the brunch I went to afterwards was yummy!
* I'm slowly getting better...slowly.
* I've had a bit of time to rest and recuperate.
* God has showed me how I've been neglecting him and his word. He had lead me to start reading the bible and praying more regularly. It's amazing that he wants us to spend time with us.
* He has also showed me that I have been focusing far too much attention on worldly things (ie the Western Derby). While he wants me to enjoy football, I have been placing too much hope in the Eagles and not enough in him.

I've tried writing my own psalm. A psalm of Sarah. It may be corny but it's not going in the bible ;).

Lord, I cry out to you,
From the depths of my physical and emotional pain.
On every side, I see Dorkers fans laughing at me,
I walk in the desert but see no streams (except from my nose).

I make plans for my life.
Why do you thwart them, O God?
You closed the door,
But somewhere you have opened a window.

Though I walk among thousands, I am alone.
Yet, you are with me.
You comfort me and pick me up,
In your strength I will keep walking to the finish line.

I wake up and go my own way,
Then I realise how much I miss you.
I try to read your word, but I don't want to listen.
I try to pray, but my heart is elsewhere.

Forgive me for my sins, O Lord.
May you be my greatest desire.
Free me from the things of this world.
Show them as worthless compared to you.

I thank you Lord for your faithfulness.
For your many simple blessings I give thanks.
Though the Eagles may fail,
You are my hope and my gladness and will be forever.

Whoa, long post, eh? Is it a record?

Get On Your Soapbox #1

I've been thinking...and I've decided it's high time I had a rant on this blog...a real rant hehe.

Finals time is fast approaching for the AFL and I think Middo's post pretty much sums up my feelings - excitement and nervousness at the same time.

I've also been told that a lot of my blog seems to be about football so what a perfect topic to rant about.....my least favourite topic.......the Freo Dorkers. How appropriate with the next Western Derby less than 48 hours away.

When I heard they were entering the AFL, I groaned loudly. I was only 11 but I thought straight away that this state was not big enough for two teams. The Eagles were the kings of the AFL at that stage and the Vics were scared. Why ruin everything by dividing the state?

I could go on all day about the insipid Dorkers and their bitter and twisted supporters (I know heaps of Dorkers fans and we have a peaceful rivalry ;)). Here are my main rants in distinct dot point form ;).

• It's quite simple really - Dorkers fans are bitter about their lack of success. That's why they love to rub it in when they win a derby. No I might be anti-Dorkers but I feel really mean about gloating over an Eagles' derby victory. So I don't say anything. But would the Dorkers fans return the favour - oh no, they love to gloat.
• They reckon they're real good cos they've won 6 derbies. Hello? How many have the Eagles won? I think it's 17?
• Many Dorkers fans laughed when the Eagles lost the grand final last year. Well, Dorkers how many times have you made the finals? Once. In eleven years. And you lost. At home. Enough said.
• Booing Chris Judd after he won the Ross Glendinning Medal this year was disgraceful. You won. You should be satisfied. Who cares about the medal?
• It was in a newspaper article last year, that Dorkers' fans don't like Eagles' fans wearing their colours in Freo cos it's THEIR turf. Well, if you want Freo as your territory, fine. But we have the entire west coast as OUR turf, including the rest of Perth. It'll be a bit squashy for you all down in Freo, don't you think? Haha.
• I don't even think of the Dorkers as a true West Australian team. When I think of WA culture, I think of tough blokes and beer and John Deere tractors. I remember watching Eagles games' in the early 90s and during the ad breaks there were ads for Con's Liquor, Vic Bitter and John Deere tractors. The Eagles' blokes back then were tough hard men - Mainwaring, Worsfold, Wilson and co (I'm not getting into arguments about current players and hair gel). The Drokers don't represent WA, just Freo, and they wear PURPLE. Enough said (go the Glory though).
• A lot of Dorkers fans boast that they are the second favourite team of people who support Victorian teams but live in WA. Well, of course you are, Dorkers. The Vics hate the Eagles. We stole their cup twice. We're feared and successful. You're not. They don't see you as a threat.
• Many Dorkers' fans are actually ex Eagles' fans who have been sadly lead astray (including my brother). I can almost understand people changing teams to support a more successful team, but the Dorkers? Delusional!
• Perth news readers are extremely biased towards the Dorkers. They openly display their delight when the Dorkers win a derby. When the Eagles win they're not nearly as excited. It's like Eddie McGuire commentating Collingwood games. I think it's part of Australia's obsession with supporting the underdog. At least support a good underdog.
• I remember the Dorkers thinking they could actually win the first derby in 1995. The Eagles put them in their place and they'll do the same on Sunday.

So now I've had my rant. Do I feel better? Yes. Was it mean to the Dorkers? Yes. But everyne loves a friendly banter. I'm sure there are anti-Eagles sites/blogs out there. I aint gonna shout 'kick 'em in the head' like some little kids were are at the Melbourne v Richmond game I went to last month at the G. Violence solves nothing, people. I want a good, clean match with no brawls or anything. We'll hit 'em hard on the scoreboard and I have three words to say to the Eagles - SHOW NO MERCY!

Do I love Dorkers' supporters? The answer is YES. I may be disgusted at their choice of football team but many of them are still my friends, family and workmates.

I know many people may be cringing and shaking their heads, thinking this is a rant about nothing, what's the big deal about football anyway? Well, only a fan would understand.

Rant over :)

(I got this poster for free in the Sunday Times in 1995. Someone is now selling it on ebay for $500! Some nostalgia for Eagles' fans *sigh*)