Sunday, August 27, 2006

A Psalm of Sarah

We've been looking at various psalms at church over the past few weeks which I've found really great. As I've read through the different psalms and listened to the sermons, I've been struck by David's writing and have found it a great encouragement in times of trouble. If I'd been asked who my favourite biblical character was (bar Jesus), I would have said Peter (and a lot of people think that's a weird choice - "What? He denied Jesus. You admire him?") But now, after reading psalms, I would definitely add David to that list.

After reading Psalm 13, I was struck by David's honesty where suffering is concerned. He openly prays his fears and his sorrow. He is so bold as to cry out to God for answers and asking to God to act and defeat his enemies. In Psalm 3, he prays for God to strike his enemies on the jaw and break all their teeth. I have to say, I feel uncomfortable praying that. I want evil to be defeated yet I also want God to have mercy on many people. What David prays is what so many of us are thinking and feeling regarding sorrow and suffering. But we never admit it. When people ask us how we are, we say "Good", when we're not. I think many people at church were struck by the fact that David, himself, identifies with us as he lived an often difficult life with much opposition. And that's it's ok to cry out to God in times of distress. We can have confidence that God listens and cares for us. How awesome is that? I forget it all too often but it is something great to reflect on.

Many of the psalms have a similar pattern to them. They start off with the psalmist crying out to God about his suffering yet end in him giving praise to God with a heart of gratitude about all he has done. That's how I want to pray - asking God for help, yet remembering he is a good God and a faithful God who has already given me so much. I am so thankful for the psalms and that they were recorded for us. David stuffed up badly at many times in his life, yet God still called him "a man after his own heart".

On the topic of gladness and praise, I asked for prayer once that I would have an attitude like Pollyanna. For those of you haven't seen the movie, you can read reviews of it here, but basically it's about an orphan girl, whose father was a minister, who is sent to live with her rich but cold aunt. There are many problems in the town they live in - divisions and generally just people who are bitter and angry. Yet, Pollyanna, always finds a reason to be glad and slowly the townsfolk begin to be transformed by her "glad game" and her kindness. When something terrible happens to Pollyanna and she can't find a reason to be glad, they rally around her and she can see just what an impact she has had on their lives, even though she didn't purposely set out trying to change everyone.

I've had a pretty bad week this week but I still want to find a reason to thank God for his many blessings, even when they are difficult to see. The weekend before that was brilliant, the best one I've had in ages. I didn't ask God for a good weekend - in his mercy and kindness, he just gave it to me.

* It started on Friday night (18th). At work, Emma smsed me asking if we could go and look at some bridesmaids dresses she'd seen the night before and wanted to buy before they sold out. The other two bridesmaids are Jennifer (Emma's sister) and Amy (Emma's friend from her church). Since Jennifer lives in Albany; Emma, Amy and I went to Intangible in the city to check out the dresses. They were lovely and we bought/laybyed them. It was great seeing Emma so excited.
* After that, I went to my friend Craig's house to watch Munich with him and some other friends from church. The movie was pretty powerful and gruesome (full on nudity and violence - not one for the little tackers) and was based upon the murder of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Great night though with lots of yummy food - pizza, Pods, M&Ms....(healthy aren't we?)
* On Saturday I went to the Perth Women's Convention, which was full of great teaching and fellowship. The topic was Following the God of Promise with talks from Numbers and Hebrews.
* After that, I went home and then Emma and I went down to Mandurah to visit our good friend Rhianon (aka Fizz) and her husband Linton who moved there a few months ago. We went out to dinner at the yummiest Italian restaurant, Paparazzi (Italian is my favourite cuisine). Then we went to their new house and us girls, stayed up late eating chocolate and reminiscing about all the fun we used to have in high school. The three of us don't get to catch up together all that often so it was great to be spending time all together again.
* The next day, Emma and I drove back to Perth and I went to a course called Sharing My Faith which is being run by my church.
* The Eagles whipped Brisbane's arse by 62 points.

So as you can see, I was VERY happy. This last week, however, has been a frustrating 'walking in the desert' week.
* I've been sick with a lingering cold and sore throat all week. I've gotten a bit better but my nose still feels like a running river (sorry if that grossed you out).
* I've had to teach quite a few classes at work and there has been no-one to cover me, so I've worked hard all week, despite being sick. One class was particularly frustrating to teach - there was a lady in it who had very poor computer skills. I tried to help her but my patience was tested.
* I am going to be moving desks at work because I'm now working with Health students instead of Business students. I'm a bit sad about this because I enjoy sharing a 'pod' with the three workmates I sit with. They are so much fun and we make each other laugh.
* I did the City to Surf , despite being still sick and not doing much exercise in the lead up to it. Yes, doing a 12km walk was a bit dumb and now my muscles are telling me all about it. I am SO sore. I justified my decision to do it because a) I'd already paid and registered b) I thought the fresh air would be good for me and c) It's helping disabled people. Well, now I feel like a disabled person - walking hurts.
* The Eagles put in a woeful performance against a rampaging Dorkers outfit. They didn't even fight. And then I had cop flak from their pesky supporters. Maybe God was punishing me for writing my scathing post about the Dorkers and also because he wants to show me that HE is way more important than football.

So that's the bad stuff but, like Pollyanna, I want to give praise to God so here goes. And I am genuinely thankful about these things.
* I had to teach less students than I thought because a lot of them didn't show up (slackers!). It was much easier for me though cos my voice was practically gone and I didn't have to shout to lots of students. The ones that came were very understanding and thankful for the session.
* Bible study was held at my house this week cos Tammy was over east. So I didn't have to go out in the cold.
* I MADE IT to the finish line in the City to Surf. And the brunch I went to afterwards was yummy!
* I'm slowly getting better...slowly.
* I've had a bit of time to rest and recuperate.
* God has showed me how I've been neglecting him and his word. He had lead me to start reading the bible and praying more regularly. It's amazing that he wants us to spend time with us.
* He has also showed me that I have been focusing far too much attention on worldly things (ie the Western Derby). While he wants me to enjoy football, I have been placing too much hope in the Eagles and not enough in him.

I've tried writing my own psalm. A psalm of Sarah. It may be corny but it's not going in the bible ;).

Lord, I cry out to you,
From the depths of my physical and emotional pain.
On every side, I see Dorkers fans laughing at me,
I walk in the desert but see no streams (except from my nose).

I make plans for my life.
Why do you thwart them, O God?
You closed the door,
But somewhere you have opened a window.

Though I walk among thousands, I am alone.
Yet, you are with me.
You comfort me and pick me up,
In your strength I will keep walking to the finish line.

I wake up and go my own way,
Then I realise how much I miss you.
I try to read your word, but I don't want to listen.
I try to pray, but my heart is elsewhere.

Forgive me for my sins, O Lord.
May you be my greatest desire.
Free me from the things of this world.
Show them as worthless compared to you.

I thank you Lord for your faithfulness.
For your many simple blessings I give thanks.
Though the Eagles may fail,
You are my hope and my gladness and will be forever.

Whoa, long post, eh? Is it a record?

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