To a single teenage girl, Valentine's Day is an important day on the calendar. It's the day you hope Mr Crush will finally get up the courage to leave a rose or an anonymous note. At high school, I used to live in hope than one day my true love would reveal his mutual affection and I'm ashamed to say that I even left my bag lying around, partly unzipped to make it easier for him to drop something in there. Yes, I know, how sad! Of course my hope would be shattered only to have it reignite the next time Valentine's Day came about.
A few years ago, as a 21-year-old single, I was invited by a single friend to an 'Anti-Valentine's Day Dinner' she was hosting at her place. All of the invitees were single people and I think it was meant to be a night devoid of couples talking about houses, kids, weddings and the like. If it was meant to encourage me as a single, it failed miserably. I left that dinner MORE discouraged about my singleness. Rather than ignoring the fact that it was Valentine's Day, I felt the dinner drew attention to the fact that we were all without partners and that we should be feeling resentful about it.
Some people spend what looks like their life savings on schmaltzy presents in a bid to win their sweetheart or affirm their love for their current partner. Other couples despise the day with a passion, resenting the commercialism and stating firmly, "I don't need to celebrate Valentine's Day to show that I love my partner."
Personally I think all of the above approaches are wrong and here's why:
- Valentine's Day is not the be-all and end-all of life. If you don't get a Valentine, don't take it to heart (try telling that to a teenage girl though). The love of your life may appear on one of the other 364 days of the year.
- If you're single, don't retreat into a anti-Valentine's singles' subculture. Not all couples get lovey-dovey on Valentine's Day. In fact, many do nothing. Being anti-Valentine's not only draws attention to the fact that it's Valentine's Day but can also be very discouraging to singles by reinforcing that they're SINGLE. I found when I was single that only hanging out with singles did not solve the difficulties of singleness because they constantly kept complaining about their marital status. I know singleness can be difficult, but I get darn sick of singles trying to ruin my happiness by constantly complaining about 'smug marrieds' and not inviting couples to things.
- Presents are good, but people give and receive love in different ways. Don't get sucked in by the lie that your love is measured by how much you spend. And besides, who wants to get a teddy with a love heart on it EVERY year!
- While it's good not to be seduced by the commercialism surrounding the day, don't let your relationship go stale because of a lack of romance. I've heard so many people say, "It's all bunch of crap. Sally knows I love her. I don't need to get her anything. People should love their partners every other day, not just on Valentine's Day." Yes, that's very true. People SHOULD do nice things for their significant other on other days of the year. But DO THEY? Really? Sometimes people just say that as an excuse to be complacent and not putting enough effort into their relationship.
Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? What sort of things do you like to do to show your partner you love them?
1 comment:
Hmmm, I got a pressie last Monday, just for... well... you know, being there.
So... it´ll be a kiss tomorrow, that´s enough? ;-)
This year there wasn´t a fuss about it anyways, how strange, now that you mention!
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