Marriage 101: Movin' On Up

When you're single it seems to be perfectly acceptable to have non-matching cutlery, wobbly furniture from the op-shop, and shabby decor.

When you're married, it's not!

I found that out pretty quickly, and to tell the truth, it shocked me.

The question we got asked the most, besides the kids question, was when were we going to buy a house.  When I answered, "Possibly never," the shocked expressions astounded me.  Is buying property what all married couples are expected to do?  We get our house rent-free as part of Duncan's job.  We have never had high enough incomes to seriously consider buying a house, and even if we did, we're not sure if we want to get tied down with a mortgage.

I'm not saying it's wrong to buy a house, but I have noticed how when you get married you're expected to get in line and plod along in trying to keep up with the Joneses.  It creeps into the church in subtle ways.  Suddenly fellow Christians are giving you advice on investment properties and new furniture.  I get tired of speaking to married people who constantly talk about renovations (that are done in the name of trends rather than necessity), private schooling, and trips to Ikea.  I've had fellow Christians laugh at me because I don't have a iphone, ipod or iwhatever.  No, I'm not joking!  Maybe they assume that now I'm married I should be putting my cash towards that stuff....upgrading.

I think married couples should be using their money for the glory of God and not to keep up with peers.  Buying a house has the advantage that you can plant yourself in one area and use your house as a base to reach out in hospitality and build relationships.  Renting has the downside that the owner may decide to sell without warning, or put the rent up and you are forced to move away from your church, friends or workplace because of a lack of available properties in your desired area.  But who cares if a married couple has op-shop furniture and a 3x1 instead of a 4x2.  You can't take material stuff with you when you die.

I can honestly say that I don't care whether Duncan and I buy a house or not.  We won't be swayed by pressure from others because God has already given us what we need in order to be hospitable.  Although I do wish married Christians would share God's Word with each other more than Ikea catalogues.