Thursday, October 17, 2013

How We're Going

The short answer is...better!

Rory's sleeping has improved tenfold.  Our visit to Ngala was such a success.  I don't know what they did, but they work miracles (or rather God does through them).  Rory now usually only wakes once a night (so much better than six times on average).  Duncan and I feel like new people.  I'm hoping he'll stop feeding at night soon so I can enjoy a full night's sleep (he usually wakes between 3-4am absolutely ravenous - he's a big fellow).  Oh how I took sleep for granted before I became a parent!  He can self-settle without being swaddled so now he rolls around in his cot, finds his own dummy, and plays with his teddies before going to sleep.  No more patting, ssshhhing, and rocking.  He does get himself into some funny positions, but he can go to sleep standing on his head if he likes, as long as he sleeps!

His eczema still flares up.  It's never been as bad as it was here though.  I'm still none the wiser as to what causes it.  I've monitored his diet, changed our laundry detergent....

I'm on new medication, the levels are now right, it is working, I feel really good.  I still struggle with getting stressed over minor situations.  I've found the key is doing less, really saying NO, and being organised (it's better to arrive somewhere early than be rushed and late).

In my naivety, I thought my recovery would be like this:

In reality, it's more like this:

Part of me worries that the medication will suddenly stop working like the old one did, but I know that I've just got to cross that bridge IF I ever come to it.  It's pointless worrying about something that may not happen and, if it does, there are lots of people around to support me.

Thank you, Lord.  I am amazed by Your grace every day.


Katherine said...

Hooray for sleeping babies! Makes SUCH a difference. Regarding recovery- From my experience, the up and down lasts years (I'm 2.5 years down the track so far). I don't want that to be discouraging, just an honest expectation. The lows are no longer so low, nor are they long lasting but really easy enjoyable light hearted days still take me by surprise and make me realize that on the whole, life requires much more effort than it once did. It's helped me to adjust my mindset completely-as you said, say no, work out what matters to you and leave out things that don't matter (eg, ironing, how often you tidy toys away...)and do the things that DO matter to you. And it is hugely helpful knowing my husband recognizes my mood and things that trigger problems for me. We can short circuit things and avoid problems if I can leave the situation and rest on my own at that point. An hour alone is all it might take to avoid three hard days otherwise. Keep working together to work out what works for your family, what triggers your bad days, what signals there are that you're starting to feel stressed or down and what helps you most to reverse those feelings before they get worse. It sounds like your husband is supportive and understanding too-mine has been the most helpful factor for me (if that doesn't sound too odd) but he can sometimes see what's happening with me before I can process it all, and knowing he's on my team and that we're working for the same goal of a happy, god honoring family really helps. This is a marathon and not a sprint so keep praying, keep caring for each other, keep perspective about what really matters and keep going again after the bad days. So pleased for you that there are many more good days now. I'll pray you have many more. K xx

Iris Flavia said...

Great to hear you´re doing so much better, Sarah!
Your next-to-last phrase will sure make it´s way to Ingo who fears to loose his job for about a year now, driving me nuts.
All the best wishes to you!
Guess someone without kids just can not imagine how nights might be with a baby! One night once in a while... exhausting. Every night???? How did you survive?

Wendy said...

Great to hear! Even for someone who doesn't suffer from depression, lack of sleep messes with my brain. That has to be a huge plus in your recover!

Wendy said...

And of course I meant "recovery"!

Sarah said...

Thanks everyone!

Yeah, that's right, Katherine. I'm finding I need more realistic expectations re. my recovery in that it might well take years (which is something for us to take into account when considering future children). I'm finding scheduling in 'pleasant activities' into my day really helps my mood. This was something I was encouraged to do in my PND support group. Once a day I spend at least 15 minutes doing something I find really enjoyable (i.e. reading, watching TV etc) while Rory sleeps. If Duncan's home or I'm with my parents they take him so I can do something longer i.e. coffee with a friend childfree, a bath, a trip to the shops by myself. This has worked wonders.