Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Good Samaritan Friend

Sometimes, when you're really sick, or injured, or just struggling in some way it's hard to hear people say, "Oh you need to put your feet up/do nothing/do the bare minimum/rest/relax/let it go...."

I know their intentions are good.  I know they mean well. 

But it's hard hearing it.

When I'm unwell, I KNOW I have limitations.  But sitting with my feet up while wearing vomit-smelling clothes with a hungry baby and pets, husband working long hours, dirty house, no clean washing, and near empty fridge, listening to someone say, "Take care of yourself," will not make me feel better.  Do my laundry, do my shopping, feed my baby and pets, watch my baby so I can have a shower, clean my house and THEN I may start to feel better instead of feeling like I'm drowning in my own bodily fluids and drowning in my own house!

I was chided by some people for carrying heavy buckets of water down to my animals while I was pregnant.  It was harvest so Duncan was working, it was summer, my animals were thirsty, and there was no-one else around.  Their opinion was that I should take care of myself and stuff the animals.  I couldn't do that.  Out here in the sticks you have to drive to town to shop and then cook if you want to eat - there is no takeaway or home-delivered grocery shopping.

Words without deeds aren't much use sometimes.

Now, I know that not everyone is capable of meeting their friends' every need.  The idea of taking care of other people's kids fill some people with dread (I was one of them before I had Rory, and even now I'm nervous about it).  Some people have physical limitations and can't help out with housework or shopping. Others desperately want to help out, but live a long way away.

But surely we can do SOMETHING other than just tell and expect our friends who are unwell, struggling and sinking fast in all their responsibilities to enjoy sitting around and doing nothing.


Iris Flavia said...

I just plain fail to understand people like that unless they are, as you said, not capable to help physically.
There are people like that?!

Isn´t there a saying that peeps in small places like farms/villages are more likely to help than in a large town even?

Dunno, my mind works different... I´d asked to carry those buckets for you, your choice to accept, but chide?!!

I found such a samaritan last week - a complete stranger who offered to drive me to my workplace when I asked if there was another possibility than waiting 2 1/2 hours for the next bus. Maybe big cities aren´t that bad after all...

Sarah said...

That's great about the Good Samaritan stranger. :) I'm always grateful for kind strangers who open doors for me when I have my hands full.

I find it's easy to dismiss other people's problems, I know I've been guilty of telling people to just rest and relax when they're not well. It's easy to say 'leave the housework' when it's not your house.