The New Kid on the Block

Chances are many of us have been there at least once in our lives, but, at the moment, I'm feeling like I've done it more in the past few years than I have in the whole rest of my life prior.

The other day I told Duncan that I am completely and utterly over it!

I'm over rocking up at events as the 'new person'.  I'm over the stares.  I'm over feeling like a loser because I don't know anyone and they all know each other.

Welcome to life in a small town, Sarah!

I've realised that before I moved to Buntine in 2008 (aged almost 25), I had not been the new kid very much in my whole life, apart from moving to Albany halfway through the school year in 1988, and being the new person at a few workplaces and at my old church in Perth.  Mostly I've been in situations where everyone is new - primary school, high school, uni.

I've also realised that I focus a lot on the negatives.  I'll go to an event in town where I don't know anyone (such as social tennis or netball training) and I'll dwell on the fact that lots of people did not bother to introduce themselves or introduce me to others, and I'll forget about the handful of lovely, welcoming people who went out of their way for me.  I'm trying to remember to thank God for those people and not get weighed down by the demeanour of those who are less than friendly.

While cities can be lonely places, despite being populous, I think it is harder to make friends in small country towns.  In the city, if you meet a 'difficult' person, usually you can move on and never to see them again, and find people who are friendly and you do have something in common with.  If you're a goth, then there are plenty of goths.  If you're a hippy, then there are plenty of hippies.  Despite the busyness, there are a plethora of groups and clubs around.  You're bound to find a likeminded soul in the city.

But in country towns there are far less people and often a very distinct 'culture'.  Most social events tend to revolve around the footy club and drinking.  If you're not into that scene then it's more difficult to meet the locals and to form strong relationships with them.  A friend of mine told me recently that she would really struggle in a small town because she isn't into footy, netball or hockey.  How are you supposed to meet people if you're not into those sports?

Also, in small towns, there are definitely the 'movers and shakers', the dominant people, those who have been the president of the footy club for thirty years and go on a power trip (not saying everyone is like this, but some definitely are).  If you meet a difficult person, you can't avoid them like you can in the city.  As a newcomer, you have to be very careful about what you say because gossip is rife and some people can make life very difficult for you.  Some people are very proud.  At netball training recently, one of the co-ordinators humiliated me in front of everyone after just my second training session.  She said that I wasn't a good enough player.  I don't object to people's honesty as long it is done helpfully and appropriately (she should have approached me individually, not just say it in front of everyone).  Fortunately a fantastic lady from my team came to my defence.  Normally I would have been more sharp with the co-ordinator, but as the new person, I felt like I didn't have a leg to stand on.

Ultimately it is not the locals who are the best judges of how friendly they are...it's the newcomers.  When you're the new kid on the block, you're ultra-sensitive and aware of how you are being treated - whether people go out of their way to be friendly, or whether they look at you with suspicion and retreat into the safety of their cliques.  In Dally, I used to hear new people being labelled 'blow-ins'.  Well, that really makes me feel like I want to stay long-term....not!  Being the new kid on the block has given me a new zeal to welcome the stranger.  I'm not saying I'm perfect in this area, but when you've experienced the discomfort of being the stranger, you're aware of how others must feel.

And before anyone asks - I do try!  I try to smile and look approachable.  I give more than one word answers to those who ask questions.  I try to be open to those who want to know who we are and where we've come from.  Being an introvert, it is hard, but I do try!

What I was getting at in Big Fish in Small Ponds is that I think it's good for everyone to experience what newcomers go through.  If you stay in one place for too long, there is always the temptation to become too comfortable...to forget to extend a welcoming hand.  If I had not experienced two big moves in less than three years, maybe I would become too comfortable too.

Right now, I'm feeling a bit weary of the whole thing.  I can't wait until I feel like I'm part of the furniture.

Finally Brides

My netball team won the local grand final a few weeks ago.  It should have been a joyous occasion since my team lost the grand final last year, had never won before, and had a long history of finishing runners-up.  I could tell this had been really eating away at my captain (who has been playing for 11 years) by all the emails she kept sending us, telling us we had to win.  We ended up winning by five goals 35-30.

But by the end of the night, I had a medal around my neck and felt like I did nothing to deserve it.  In the semi-final, I sat the first half on the bench since it was a rare occasion where we actually had a sub.  As I was just getting over a chest infection, this was fine by me.  In the grand final, the same thing happened except we got to three-quarter time and I still hadn't had a run.  Eventually they felt sorry for me and brought me on the for the fourth quarter, but in WD.  I'd played WA all year and get stuck in the worst stinkin' position ever for the grand final.

It was exciting to win, but I still feel like the weakest link that had to be kept off the court so my team would have a better chance.  Disappointing, even though I know it's a team sport.

Oh well!

5 Reasons For Gratitude

It's so easy to slip into despair and grumbling so I want to start the week on a positive note with five things that have happened over the past week to give thanks for.

1.  Nan has been transferred to Albany Hospital after nearly four weeks in Fremantle Hospital.  She still has a long road ahead with extensive physio needed on the leg which was operated on in order for her to get back on her feet.
2.  Cold and flu tablets.  I've had the flu since Friday night, and I'm thankful for medicine which takes away the fevers and achy body for me to still be able to function.
3.  Friends visiting.  We had two friends, Sarah and Reba, come up to visit on the weekend and they came to the Dally Show with us.
4.  A forfeited netball game.  I was bracing myself to play netball with the flu tonight since one of my teammates hurt her ankle last week, and if I didn't play, we probably wouldn't have enough people.  So I was very pleasantly surprised to get home and find out that our opponents (and arch rivals) Miling forfeited.  Thank you Miling!
5.  Being reminded that although people may fail me, God never fails, and to look heavenward.  Thank you Narelle from Moments for Mum for this post.

What are you grateful for this week?

When Winning Is Everything

Netball is over! Last night my team played in the grand final.....and lost....by four goals. It was very disappointing but there's always next year. The team we lost to had beaten us twice during the year, by two goals each time. 2+2=4. I think God has a sense of humour :(

It is disappointing but not devastating. In many ways I'm very glad the season is over. This year I've played in a 'successful' team. We finished third at the end of the regular season but clawed our way into the grand final by upsetting the second-placed team in last week's preliminary final. This was a stark contrast to last year when we finished second last (although only four of us from last year played again this year).

But you know what? I enjoyed last year more. I really did. Last year we were a team made up of such a random group of people. Although you couldn't say we were 'friends' because we didn't know each other well, we were such a mix of ages and backgrounds that we got on really well. This year, the majority of the team were 30-something mums and I've felt kind of on the outer. I think when a group of very different women get together, it is much more harmonious. When the group have a lot of similarities, it can get bitchy and cliquey.

Last year, we lost by some hideous margins but nobody blamed each other. We just did our best and fought the game out. This year, I've felt like the 'weakest link' because of my often poor shooting and subsequent move to WD. Now I haven't actually heard anyone bitching about me but I can feel it in my bones and in my waters. This year the whole league was bitchy to the max and I've overheard some people saying some shocking things about people who are meant to be their friends off the court.

At times it felt like some people thought that winning was everything. Every week I got flooded with emails from my teammates about winning and tactics and stuff like that. At first the motivational stuff was cool. Then it started to get a bit wearing. This is a local netball competition in a country town, not the Olympics! Whatever happened to just enjoying the game and playing for fun? Last night when we lost, some of my teammates looked pretty dirty while others just copped the loss on the chin and congratulated the winners. When others see winning as everything, I stop enjoying the game so much. I feel too much pressure and that's not good. I'm sad to say I haven't looked forward to games each week this year.

I love the movie, The Mighty Ducks which, if you've watched it, you'll know is about a successful lawyer who after being convicted of drink driving is forced to do community service which involves coaching a incompetent junior ice hockey team. On the back of the cover it says, First he teaches the hapless team everything about winning and then they teach him that winning isn't everything. Isn't that why we play after all? For the love of the game, win or lose?

Losing will either humble you or embitter you. Personally, I think it does some people good to lose. Although I love to be competitive and I love to win, I've learnt that if treating people badly or making them feel they aren't good enough is the way to get there, then I'd pick losing any day. Losing has humbled me and made me realise that I'm reliant on God for my abilities. In my post, Replaced, I wrote that after my poor shooting, I'd been put into WD which I found most strange and unfamiliar. But after two of our shooters left our team due to pregnancy and a move to Perth, I was suddenly shooting again. Often I'd pray, asking God to help me shoot well and each time I'd hear him respond, For my glory or for yours? That humbled me. If I were honest, I'd admit that it was so I could impress people and win back my spot. Last week, I played GS for the entire preliminary final and I can't remember playing as well as I did....ever. I barely missed and it felt like God was shooting for me (it sounds bizarre I know). Everyone was telling me how awesome I was and how I was the star of the game. Yes, it was a great feeling.

But for the grand final, I came crashing back to earth proving the old saying is true that a week is a long time in sport. I was back in WD again and the WA I was opposed to played such an excellent game she won the game MVP award. Suddenly I wasn't the hero anymore, I was the villain. Well, nobody said so but I could feel it and I could see the 'looks'. The best thing though is that God was using that experience to teach me that the praise of men is futile. It only lasts while I'm making them happy but when I fail, I'm the bad guy. Instead I need to not look to the approval of men but to please my Heavenly Father who is not pleased by success or winning but by my living his way and giving him the glory.
There's no way I ever want anyone who wants to play local sport feel that they're not good enough. Earlier this year I played in a tennis doubles tournament and invited a friend from church to be my partner. She said she would but also told me she hadn't played since high school so she was worried how she would go. Each time she stuffed up a shot, she apologised but I kept reassuring her it didn't matter in the slightest. I was just so happy she bothered to give up her time to be my partner. We came last that day. We didn't win any games at all. But it was such a fun day and I enjoyed every bit.

About a month ago, I told Duncan I was thinking of not playing netball next year because I just wanted to have fun and not deal with win-at-all-cost types. He urged me to play on so I will. You see, I do feel sorry for some people whose sport is their god. Sport will fail you, it is not there for ultimate satisfaction. But I know the true and living God who is much more concerned with my heart than winning and that's what I'll persevere in living out on the court.

Replaced

I'm sorry if this post is a bit depressing or if you don't really get what I'm rambling about.

Quite often in my life, I've been 'replaced'. By that I mean that I've filled a certain role because no-one else was interested in doing that job or task and although I knew I was no great talent in that area, I got great joy in serving in my role.

But later on, a person with real talent and exquisite skills in that area came along and I was no longer needed. Therefore, I was replaced.

It's happened recently in netball. For many years I've played goal shooter. Now no-one watching me play this year would believe it, but I used to be deadly accurate and could get the thing through the hoop from almost right on the goal circle. But this year, not only have my shooting skills evaded me, I'm now in a team with a greater selection of shooters and I've been replaced by these newcomers. Last year, we only had two shooters to choose from so I was a guaranteed choice. This year I've started making my new home at wing defence which is foreign territory for me. Yet I know it's not because they suddenly thought Hey, we reckon Sarah would make a fantastic defender. Wing defence is the most unheralded position on the court in my opinion. You are basically an unglorified tagger. It's because these new shooters are better than me so I've been shoved elsewhere. I've served my purpose while there was no-one else to fill that position and now that the more spectacular and flashy shooters are here, I've been 'replaced'.

It happens in the AFL. Hands up who remembers Chad Fletcher? He has barely been sighted in the Eagles lineup all year and the rumours are he'll be forced to retire at the end of the year or else be sacked. Just a few years ago he was an integral part of the Eagles premiership midfield - Judd, Cousins, Kerr and FLETCHER. He has won two Ross Glendinning Medals in Western Derbies. But nobody remembers the Chad Fletcher of yesteryear and the vital role he played. Now he's older and slower and the younger, speedier midfielders are getting the nod ahead of him. He has done his bit and he's no longer needed. He has been 'replaced'.

Duncan and I were talking the other night about people who serve diligently and enthusiastically in churches for many years suddenly get replaced when a super new talent arrives on the scene. For example, we have a lady in our church who plays the piano most weeks. That's the only instrument we have. No drums, no singers even. Just a piano. She has served this way in the church for many years. Now, Duncan and I have a couple of friends who are absolutely brilliant piano players. Imagine if one of these friends came to our church and the leaders went so starry-eyed that they gradually pushed our faithful piano player to the background and replaced her with our friend. Wouldn't that suck? It happens though. Sometimes the church gets just as mesmerised by talent as the world and causes us to make some thoughtless decisions. I've served in Christian ministries in the past where I was filling a role that nobody wanted only to be pushed aside when a more talented person arrived on the scene. I knew I wasn't the greatest at that role but I loved serving that way. I just felt hurt and unappreciated that nobody bothered to explain things to me, I just got 'replaced'.

Now I'm not saying that churches shouldn't invite talented individuals to participate in ministries to which they are obviously suited to and keen to be involved in. Obviously God has blessed some people with great talent whether it be singing, playing an instrument, cooking or graphic design. I'm not saying we should get bitter when we are replaced or jealous of our replacement or find satisfaction in what we do rather than in how God sees us. Rather it's the unceremonious 'dumping' of faithful individuals that I don't like. I know that sometimes we need to put the church or team or whatever before our personal satisfaction. But sometimes these groups get so obsessed with winning, being the best or being flashy that they (often unintentionally) trample over people who have been faithful and reliable to ooh and aah over the newest talent. I may not be the greatest netball player but I am committed. I turn up every week. Last year I played with the flu and two injured shoulders. I'm not telling you this so you'll bow down and worship me but sometimes a simple thanks would be nice.

We shouldn't fill roles so we can get accolades but being unappreciated sure sucks too. Some people don't like attention being drawn to them but we can still say thank you. We all run our course and need to move on although it doesn't make being 'replaced' any easier.

Maybe I just have to come to terms with being an Average Joe (or Josie).

I hope I made some sort of sense!

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Netball is back on again and my team played their first game last night. We lost in a close one 20-18. I played like absolute crud, missed all but one of my shots on goal and was so out of breath after five minutes, I felt like I'd smoked a packet of ciggies before the game....except I don't smoke. Go figure!

Next week we play the worst team so we SHOULD have a win but I don't want to get too cocky. Pride comes before a fall. I've learnt never to underestimate anyone and assume that just because they are old, overweight or haven't played in 10 years doesn't mean they aren't a darn good player! I remember playing tennis in Albany against a bunch of old ladies when I was 16 and smirking to my mum beforehand, "I'm gonna thrash them. I bet they can't even run!" Well, I was right about that....they couldn't run...they made me do all the running. They placed their shots so carefully that they hardly needed to move. Crafty old ladies! One of them had a vicious serve with a karate chop action. Scary!

I am hoping our next match will be better and that I'll actually get the jolly thing through the hoop. That'd be nice.

Season Over!

Netball is over for season 2008....well for my team anyway.

We finished second last (4th out of 5 teams) and still made the finals with only four wins for the year (three over the bottom winless team and one by forfeit)! The top four always make the finals. What a great association to play in!

So last week we had our semi-final against the 3rd placed team, the Skunks. I was hoping and praying that we would have enough people as we'd played the last three games with only six and had to forfeit one because we only had four. One of these games we won with only six players and they had seven. Sure it was against the bottom team but it was good to win regardless.

We had seven people last week and after a tight, fast and furious game, we went down 25-20. It was disappointing but we did our best.

One of the ladies in my team plays basketball and is keen to get us to all play with her in a summer competition. Most of us have never played basketball before but we are keen to stay together as a team. One chick said that it's a shame the season is now over as we were just starting to click together on the court. I'm glad we should all be back next year and will be welcoming a couple of pregnant ladies back again after they've had their babies. Looks like I'll be a Warrior next year and beyond which is good.

The grand final is next week and we'll all be coming along for the windup and to see who won the league best and fairest...Dally netball's version of the Brownlow.

Week of Firsts

I want to take a break in transmission regarding my Tassie photos to let you all know about big week (well big in comparison to my usual everyday life in Buntine) and ask you all to please pray.

• I'm starting my new job tomorrow. Yes, I got the job at the gift/toy/clothing/everything shop working Tuesdays and Wednesdays on a casual basis. I finally heard back from the lady while we were in Launceston - she took a month to get back to me! Anyway, it's not my dream job but it's a start. Please pray it'll go well and I'll adjust back to working outside the home again.
  
• I'm going for another job interview on Thursday morning. Brad sent a text message to Duncan while we were in Devonport to let me know about another job which is a part-time administration manager position at a farming organisation in Buntine. I think admin manager is just a fancy term for 'office chick' but it sounds like it's more up my alley than retail. I was already preparing my selection criteria when I found out I got the other job but decided to apply anyway. If I get this job it'll be ideal as it's much closer and I'll save a lot of petrol. But first I have to confront a panel consisting of the executive officer and three local farmers who are involved on the committee. Duncan assures me that these blokes won't be intimidating and have good senses of humour. I hope so. I have no idea what they're going to ask but I know whatever it is, I'll need God to answer for me.
  
• On Thursday night, I'll be umpiring netball for the first time this year as my team has a bye. I haven't umpired for 10 years and when the chick I'll be umpiring with and I found out we'll be umpiring the two 'roughest' teams, we groaned loudly. Pray that I'll look really mean and the players will do as they're told. Or better yet, pray that one of the teams will forfeit. Yes, that'd be better :)

Netball Update

Well, I've played five games of netball so far this season. It should have been six but we won one game on forfeit. It's a long story and was due to a mix up of timeslots. The team we were meant to be playing were VERY annoyed they had to forfeit (they only had two players show up) and for a moment I thought a catfight was going to erupt. Mrrrrow, I thought a few of the ladies were going to get the claws out but nothing happened. I think there's a fair degree of bitchiness in EVERY netball competition. Well, pretty much anywhere where it's all women sadly.

Our win-loss record is 2-4. In our second game, we lost by two 26-24 and then we had our first win the following week 38-21. The next week we were hammered by the top team, Miling, 31-11. But EVERYONE gets thrashed by them so we didn't feel too bad about ourselves.

Last night, we played the Skunks again who we lost to narrowly in the second game and I thought this time we could have a win. Except we only had five players available but you have to play if you have a minimum of five and they had seven so we really didn't stand a chance. One of our girls rocked up halfway through the first quarter so we quickly shoved her on but still it was six against seven and we went down 47-24. Very disappointing but I feel if we'd had a full team we could have won or at least the game would be very close.

I hurt both my shoulders quite badly during a game a few weeks and it took ages for them to get better. I'm not exactly sure how I hurt them but I was in quite a bit of pain for the next couple of weeks and no muscle cream was working. I couldn't lift many things, including the doona off our bed, but I kept on playing even though Duncan said I shouldn't. I'm all tough haha :) Then one morning last week I woke up and I was pain free and have been ever since. Whoever said God doesn't heal?

I'm still very much enjoying it and I'm hoping we get to do some social things together soon. It's difficult to chat before or after the game because most people arrive just before the game starts and leave as soon as it finishes because they have kids or a fair distance to travel (like me). Oh well, I'm sure I'll get to know them better gradually.

The competition has a three week break coming up soon. That'll be good.

Netball Wrap-Up

A few people have asked about how my first game of netball went last week. I left a comment on my original post here but thought I would provide a few more details.

My worries about having those 'win at all costs' types in my team turned out to be completely unfounded. My teammates are great, what I know of them so far. We didn't get much chance to talk except to quickly introduce ourselves but it was soon clear that some of them had been out of the game for a lot longer than me. They seem like a great bunch of laidback chicks and we are quite a diverse team too, ranging in age from maybe late 30s/early 40s right down to lower high school. Only in a country town could you get that. :)

My team, the Warriors, went down to the Shooters 36-24. I played GS for the first half and GA for the second and was surprised that I could actually still shoot and get the thing in. I used to play GS (goal shooter for those who don't know anything about netball) a lot when I played in Albany but I thought they'd prefer someone taller in the position. It turned out I'm one of the tallest in my team. That has never happened before! I'm only 164cm tall.

Apart from feeling quite fatigued and sore after the game, I had a great time and now we're up against the Skunks tonight. I'm not expecting to win. The Skunks are made up of teachers and students from Dally District High and I've seen them play...they're good. Oh well, we'll just do our best and have fun regardless.

Hitting the Court

Tonight will be my first real venture 'out into the community'. That is, beyond church.

I've joined a local netball team and tonight is our first match of the season after having a bye to start off with.

I shouldn't be, but I'm actually a little nervous. Partly because I haven't played netball for 10 years and I'm hoping my team don't think they've got a real doosy playing with them. I used to play when I lived in Albany and the competition was...well...what you could expect in an all-female league. Bitchy at times! I took up basketball a few years ago in Perth and quit after a couple of games because I just couldn't stand it. It was a Christian competition yet some of the girls were the most unsportsmanlike I had ever met....worse than in Albany and we were just kids then. During my first game of basketball, one of my teammates got shoved over so roughly she hit her head on the floor and was only semi-conscious after that. Then the next game, we overheard the opposition saying how small we looked and that they were predicting we'd be crap. Let me state again that this was a CHRISTIAN basketball competition.

I'm hoping this competition will be different. I know there are always going to be those who take it WAY too seriously but hopefully most will just see it as a night out with the girls and a bit of fun.

So why am I playing netball again after 10 years? Well, firstly because I enjoy the game itself and secondly, it's a good chance to meet other women outside of church. Tonight will be a chance for me to walk my talk and be a Christlike example on the court. And yes, I'm hoping that I may build close relationships with those in my team and share Christ with them. Just blogging about it makes me a bit scared because who am I to think I can bring the good news to them? But I'm not alone. I'm not going out into the community because it's trendy, rather because it's a command from Jesus himself.

So please pray that I will conduct myself in a manner worthy of Christ tonight. In the past, I have been a bit of an aggressive player, which is fine, but I want to make sure my aggression is used positively. Win or lose I don't care, I just want to enjoy my sport with the others. It's only a game!