This one is for the stay-at-home mums....
I'm totally over the obsession with encouraging mums to work from home. I've lost count of the number of times I've been told I should do party plan. I just don't sell things! I'm hopeless at it. If you've ever been convinced to buy something because I recommended it, please let me know as I'm extremely sceptical I have any gifting in that area.
I've been told that I need to do something for myself, and that setting up a home-based business is the way to do it. It's marketed as the ideal lifestyle, that you can spend time with your kids while working and contributing to the family income, that you can fit work around family.
I remain completely resistant to the idea and it doesn't show the other side.
You see, if really pushed, some WAHMs (work at home mums) admit that it isn't easy. It's a juggling act. You can't be working and spending time with your kids AT THE SAME TIME. It usually involves mums on their phones, promoting whatever they're selling via social media, while their kids play in the park. That's not spending time WITH your kids. Other mums have admitted they do get stressed to meet sales targets, or to go out and do parties or demos, because they need to find someone to babysit. The trouble with part-time work is that there are no set hours; it's easy for it to overtake your family time and harder to set boundaries. Often people work until stupid o'clock at night, trying to get everything done. Or they have to palm their kids off to the grandies to get everything done.
I've been there, I've tried it before. It didn't work. It's really hard. I'd rather have less income and a tighter budget and more sanity. I already 'do stuff for myself' on Tuesdays while Flynn's at daycare and Rory's at school.
It's different when you have school-aged kids. You have regular time alone to do it. But with toddlers and babies, it's a nightmare.
I get that it does work for some. Maybe they have really easy kids who like to play alone?
So, why am I ranting about it?
Well, I just think some people should be more honest. It's not what it's cracked up to be. No mum can do it all at once. There are different seasons of life. Being a stay-at-home mum is valuable in itself, and you don't need a pay packet on top of that.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2018
Wednesday, January 03, 2018
Fast Away the Old Year Passes
I blinked and 2017 was gone.
It was a year of steady progress in some areas, and stalling in others.
It was a year of adjustment for my family, as we entered the school arena. Suddenly we could no longer take holidays at any time during the year (bar seeding and harvest) - we were confined to term times, like many of our friends. Rory's Kindy days were Tuesdays, Thursdays and every second Monday. This made mid-week trips to Albany impossible. I attempted a few daytrips on Wednesdays and that was exhausting.
After a difficult start, the biggest little man did very well. His teacher was very no-nonsense and he seemed to adapt well to her approach. He did things for her that I could never get him to do. He started Kindy not able to hold a pencil properly. Due to this, his arm would become tired while trying to write. I'd been trying to correct his grip for ages, but his teacher and the occupational therapist who visits the school corrected it within weeks. He has discovered that he CAN use scissors and that craft can actually be fun. But Rory is still very much a 'minimal effort' kinda guy in this area. He'd much rather be running around outside or doing puzzles.
Dealing with his tiredness and resulting tantrums has been a challenge. Term 1 was the most difficult, but it did get a bit easier as the year progressed. Still, I'm kind of dreading full-time pre-primary.
This may seem strange, but my surgery was the highlight of my year. That (and actually reducing my anti-depressants) have made a huge difference in my depression. No longer have I been self-conscious going down the street. After I'd had the surgery, Duncan confessed that many people in town have been asking them if I was pregnant (he quickly set them straight). This reinforced that I'd made the right decision to have the surgery.
The other highlight has been surviving seeding and harvest on my own, without needing house-help. I've had short visits from my mum, but other than that, I had a routine happening and I managed on my own (with God's help, of course). I think if harvest didn't fall around Christmastime it would be a LOT easier, as the added stress of the million end-of-year/Christmas events (which all seem to require you to bring a plate) get a bit much.
Sadly 2017 has seen the slow demise of this blog. I seem to have lost my passion. Whereas once my head was bursting with ideas for posts, now I'm lacking both inspiration and motivation. By the end of the day, I'm so tired, I can't be bothered starting up the computer to write a post. Plus, I have taken on a small paid admin role for Flynn's daycare, so that has taken up some of my time. I think the fact that many other blogs I have enjoyed over the years have slowed considerably or stopped has been a factor in my own lack of enthusiasm.
What will 2018 hold? Well, it has already got off to a less than ideal start with the death of Solomon, but there are still 362 days left for it to be a good one.
It was a year of steady progress in some areas, and stalling in others.
It was a year of adjustment for my family, as we entered the school arena. Suddenly we could no longer take holidays at any time during the year (bar seeding and harvest) - we were confined to term times, like many of our friends. Rory's Kindy days were Tuesdays, Thursdays and every second Monday. This made mid-week trips to Albany impossible. I attempted a few daytrips on Wednesdays and that was exhausting.
After a difficult start, the biggest little man did very well. His teacher was very no-nonsense and he seemed to adapt well to her approach. He did things for her that I could never get him to do. He started Kindy not able to hold a pencil properly. Due to this, his arm would become tired while trying to write. I'd been trying to correct his grip for ages, but his teacher and the occupational therapist who visits the school corrected it within weeks. He has discovered that he CAN use scissors and that craft can actually be fun. But Rory is still very much a 'minimal effort' kinda guy in this area. He'd much rather be running around outside or doing puzzles.
Dealing with his tiredness and resulting tantrums has been a challenge. Term 1 was the most difficult, but it did get a bit easier as the year progressed. Still, I'm kind of dreading full-time pre-primary.
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| Rory's Kindy 'graduation' |
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| One of the many Kindy creations - milk bottle top elephant |
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| One of Rory's paintings. Apparently it's a picture of Daddy haha |
This may seem strange, but my surgery was the highlight of my year. That (and actually reducing my anti-depressants) have made a huge difference in my depression. No longer have I been self-conscious going down the street. After I'd had the surgery, Duncan confessed that many people in town have been asking them if I was pregnant (he quickly set them straight). This reinforced that I'd made the right decision to have the surgery.
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| Flynn and I at a Melbourne Cup lunch |
The other highlight has been surviving seeding and harvest on my own, without needing house-help. I've had short visits from my mum, but other than that, I had a routine happening and I managed on my own (with God's help, of course). I think if harvest didn't fall around Christmastime it would be a LOT easier, as the added stress of the million end-of-year/Christmas events (which all seem to require you to bring a plate) get a bit much.
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| Flynn at the playgroup Christmas party |
Sadly 2017 has seen the slow demise of this blog. I seem to have lost my passion. Whereas once my head was bursting with ideas for posts, now I'm lacking both inspiration and motivation. By the end of the day, I'm so tired, I can't be bothered starting up the computer to write a post. Plus, I have taken on a small paid admin role for Flynn's daycare, so that has taken up some of my time. I think the fact that many other blogs I have enjoyed over the years have slowed considerably or stopped has been a factor in my own lack of enthusiasm.
What will 2018 hold? Well, it has already got off to a less than ideal start with the death of Solomon, but there are still 362 days left for it to be a good one.
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
Rejoicing With Those Who Rejoice
I have never really understood why so many women would rather watch their worst enemy succeed than their closest friend. Why do we often react so badly when our nearest and dearest get something we desperately want for ourselves? A man, a baby, a job, a role, a place on a sporting team...
Rejoicing with the rejoicing can often be harder than mourning with the mourning.
But it is essential to being a good friend.
I remember when I got my Year 12 TEE results. I got 94 (the highest possible score is 99.95). A close friend who had failed was one of the happiest for me. Looking back, that must have been so difficult for her, and I will never forget her graciousness and support.
Sadly, I have not always been the greatest at congratulating others who have succeeded or acquired things I want for myself. I've been jealous. I've avoided them in person. I've moped and moaned about my own circumstances in their presence, taking the spotlight off them. I haven't 'liked' their posts on Facebook because I'm so jealous. Why should they have it when I can't? I have been a poor excuse for a friend at times, that's for sure.
I found it hard to watch friends marry when I was single. Even now, I struggle with seeing posts about friends' babies who are younger than Rory, but more advanced than him. There are babies six months younger than him who walked before him and talk better than him now. I struggled seeing posts from mums with perfect sleeping babies when I was in the midst of sleep deprivation and exhaustion last year when Rory was waking every hour during the night. I thought it so unfair that some mums could just go out and get on with their lives as if they never had a baby when I was cut down with postnatal depression. Why did they get it so easy and I get it so hard?
I've also been on the receiving end of jealous backlash. I remember when I was working at Curtin, I got a permanent position that a colleague had also been after. She was nasty to me for weeks afterward (and this woman was more than twice my age - when do women grow up, seriously?), then she apologised, then kept the cattiness going *sigh*.
In the latest play I'm in, I've become aware that my part was coveted by several other cast members. It does make me feel very uncomfortable around them and stops me enjoying myself as much. It's horrible with people having daggers for you. I've noticed the competitiveness and bitchiness is especially prevalent in the arts. It makes me want to scream, "Here, if you want it so badly, have it.", but then I think, No, I worked hard for this. If they were truly my friends they'd support me and suck it up.
I'm well aware that every time I post pictures of my wedding or of Rory on Facebook, there are people I consider friends who desperately want that for themselves. I don't want to rub my happiness in my face, yet I don't want to hide all my blessings away either, pretending they aren't really blessings. Somehow we need to find that balance.
The challenge of true friendship: to smile at, hug and congratulate your friend while you are crying on the inside.
Related posts:
Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back
Get On Your Soapbox #23
The Envy of Eve
Grieving and Coveting
Rejoicing with the rejoicing can often be harder than mourning with the mourning.
But it is essential to being a good friend.
I remember when I got my Year 12 TEE results. I got 94 (the highest possible score is 99.95). A close friend who had failed was one of the happiest for me. Looking back, that must have been so difficult for her, and I will never forget her graciousness and support.
Sadly, I have not always been the greatest at congratulating others who have succeeded or acquired things I want for myself. I've been jealous. I've avoided them in person. I've moped and moaned about my own circumstances in their presence, taking the spotlight off them. I haven't 'liked' their posts on Facebook because I'm so jealous. Why should they have it when I can't? I have been a poor excuse for a friend at times, that's for sure.
I found it hard to watch friends marry when I was single. Even now, I struggle with seeing posts about friends' babies who are younger than Rory, but more advanced than him. There are babies six months younger than him who walked before him and talk better than him now. I struggled seeing posts from mums with perfect sleeping babies when I was in the midst of sleep deprivation and exhaustion last year when Rory was waking every hour during the night. I thought it so unfair that some mums could just go out and get on with their lives as if they never had a baby when I was cut down with postnatal depression. Why did they get it so easy and I get it so hard?
I've also been on the receiving end of jealous backlash. I remember when I was working at Curtin, I got a permanent position that a colleague had also been after. She was nasty to me for weeks afterward (and this woman was more than twice my age - when do women grow up, seriously?), then she apologised, then kept the cattiness going *sigh*.
In the latest play I'm in, I've become aware that my part was coveted by several other cast members. It does make me feel very uncomfortable around them and stops me enjoying myself as much. It's horrible with people having daggers for you. I've noticed the competitiveness and bitchiness is especially prevalent in the arts. It makes me want to scream, "Here, if you want it so badly, have it.", but then I think, No, I worked hard for this. If they were truly my friends they'd support me and suck it up.
I'm well aware that every time I post pictures of my wedding or of Rory on Facebook, there are people I consider friends who desperately want that for themselves. I don't want to rub my happiness in my face, yet I don't want to hide all my blessings away either, pretending they aren't really blessings. Somehow we need to find that balance.
The challenge of true friendship: to smile at, hug and congratulate your friend while you are crying on the inside.
Related posts:
Kiss the Cheek, Stab the Back
Get On Your Soapbox #23
The Envy of Eve
Grieving and Coveting
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Rest
We are currently in the midst of holidays....wonderful, glorious holidays! We've been here, there and everywhere in the past week and a half - Dunsborough to see Duncan's family, Perth, Dalwallinu for our old church's 50th anniversary, back to Perth. Now we are home, washing clothes and repacking ready to spend the long weekend in Bremer Bay, four wheel driving with friends. Rory's first trip to Bremer outside the womb, yay!
It's amazing how much better I've felt since I quit my job. The shoulder and back pain I'd been experiencing disappeared (probably caused by stress and from sitting hunched over at my desk so much). I can sit and put my feet up for five minutes while Rory naps, instead of running around like a chook with its head chopped off. I know I definitely made the right decision. My boss was very understanding as she knew exactly what I went through last year and sent me flowers while I was in the Mother Baby Unit.
I've decided...I will not even consider going back to work until all our children are in full time school and, even then, it would only be part time.
It was a pretty awful week a few weeks ago. I also found a stinking, decomposing mouse in the bottom of my wardrobe, and I found one of my hens, Eggnog, dying. She passed away peacefully in my arms. I only have five girls left now *sniff*.
I've decided...I will not even consider going back to work until all our children are in full time school and, even then, it would only be part time.
It was a pretty awful week a few weeks ago. I also found a stinking, decomposing mouse in the bottom of my wardrobe, and I found one of my hens, Eggnog, dying. She passed away peacefully in my arms. I only have five girls left now *sniff*.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Get On Your Soapbox #26
I planned to do a book review, but that will have to wait....
Last Wednesday, I started a new job.
Today, I'm going to quit.
My former boss rang me and asked if I'd be interested in working with her again, at a different organisation (she left our old place of employment five months after I did), doing admin work for the equivalent of one day a week at home. It sounded like a dream opportunity, especially when we've been limping from payday to payday each fortnight. It would only be for six months as I'd be filling in for someone else who is on sick leave.
But I can't cope.
In the past week, my depression has risen as have my stress levels. Working from home with a toddler in tow is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've been madly trying to get things done while he sleeps, but there's never enough time. I've been staying up to ungodly hours trying to catch up, I've had less time to spend with Duncan, I'm starting to get cranky with Rory....everything I feared.
Last night was the lowest I'd been for a while. I was crying, couldn't sleep, having panic attacks, shivering (even though it wasn't cold), experiencing vertigo. Yesterday I had to go to the doctor due to some other 'symptoms' which have arisen and I'm sure have been caused by stress. One day a week is never just one day a week and, like study, there are no boundaries. It's so easy for the work-life balance to become non-existent.
I'm angry at society and I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at society for putting so much pressure on mothers to go back to work when they don't REALLY need the money, saying they need to do something else for themselves, to use their brains. Well, my brain is now overloaded thanks to this job and I can't think straight. My house is a mess, I'm eating crap food because I'm in a rush, I don't have time to read my Bible, I'm thinking about work when I'm trying to spend time with my son. His nap times are filled with work instead of resting or cooking for friends in need....I hate how everything has become about me and my job, and God and other people have become a distant second. I don't want to use my daycare day for work. It'll never be enough time anyway and it's the only time I get to myself.
I'm angry at myself for being so weak that I can't even manage one day a week of work from home. I could never be that working mum with multiple kids in tow. I'm angry that I thought I needed to prove myself somehow. I enjoy being a stay-at-home mum and domestic engineer. I don't want to go back to work. I just want to write. I'm about to write a cover letter and synopsis for my book and send it off to a literary agent.
This has been a very humbling experience. I'm not as well as I thought I was and I have a lot more limitations than many other mums. We can manage on one wage. We just need to budget really, really well. Last night I received the welcome news that Duncan is getting a pay rise.
I'd just like to say to all the working mums out there....do you really need to work? REALLY? Do you really need the money? Do you enjoy your job, or can you manage on one wage? Are you working to buy things you could live without? Would you rather 'do something for yourself' meant doing something you really like instead of advancing your career? I know some people really do need to work, so I'm not having a go at anyone here.
I just want to ask the hard questions of society...and of myself.
Last Wednesday, I started a new job.
Today, I'm going to quit.
My former boss rang me and asked if I'd be interested in working with her again, at a different organisation (she left our old place of employment five months after I did), doing admin work for the equivalent of one day a week at home. It sounded like a dream opportunity, especially when we've been limping from payday to payday each fortnight. It would only be for six months as I'd be filling in for someone else who is on sick leave.
But I can't cope.
In the past week, my depression has risen as have my stress levels. Working from home with a toddler in tow is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've been madly trying to get things done while he sleeps, but there's never enough time. I've been staying up to ungodly hours trying to catch up, I've had less time to spend with Duncan, I'm starting to get cranky with Rory....everything I feared.
Last night was the lowest I'd been for a while. I was crying, couldn't sleep, having panic attacks, shivering (even though it wasn't cold), experiencing vertigo. Yesterday I had to go to the doctor due to some other 'symptoms' which have arisen and I'm sure have been caused by stress. One day a week is never just one day a week and, like study, there are no boundaries. It's so easy for the work-life balance to become non-existent.
I'm angry at society and I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at society for putting so much pressure on mothers to go back to work when they don't REALLY need the money, saying they need to do something else for themselves, to use their brains. Well, my brain is now overloaded thanks to this job and I can't think straight. My house is a mess, I'm eating crap food because I'm in a rush, I don't have time to read my Bible, I'm thinking about work when I'm trying to spend time with my son. His nap times are filled with work instead of resting or cooking for friends in need....I hate how everything has become about me and my job, and God and other people have become a distant second. I don't want to use my daycare day for work. It'll never be enough time anyway and it's the only time I get to myself.
I'm angry at myself for being so weak that I can't even manage one day a week of work from home. I could never be that working mum with multiple kids in tow. I'm angry that I thought I needed to prove myself somehow. I enjoy being a stay-at-home mum and domestic engineer. I don't want to go back to work. I just want to write. I'm about to write a cover letter and synopsis for my book and send it off to a literary agent.
This has been a very humbling experience. I'm not as well as I thought I was and I have a lot more limitations than many other mums. We can manage on one wage. We just need to budget really, really well. Last night I received the welcome news that Duncan is getting a pay rise.
I'd just like to say to all the working mums out there....do you really need to work? REALLY? Do you really need the money? Do you enjoy your job, or can you manage on one wage? Are you working to buy things you could live without? Would you rather 'do something for yourself' meant doing something you really like instead of advancing your career? I know some people really do need to work, so I'm not having a go at anyone here.
I just want to ask the hard questions of society...and of myself.
Friday, August 01, 2014
Friday Funny
JOBS
Repeat after me: I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will NEVER complain about my job EVER AGAIN!
Repeat after me: I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will never complain about my job ever again.
I will NEVER complain about my job EVER AGAIN!
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Bible Verse of the Day
To some people, studying at university, then working, only to give it up to stay home and be at the mercy of a very confusing baby, seems ludicrous.
But that's in the eyes of the world. I don't see having my little man and staying home to look after him as a waste of my time or talents. I'm glad to be home with him, watching him grow (most days). This time will never come again and, God-willing, I can still use my qualifications sometime down the track.
Yet, as much as I love Rory, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day. The feeding, the nappy-changing, the entertaining, the comforting, the housework...each day seems the same. And the days are long! Often I wake up feeling like I haven't recovered from the day before.
There is someone that notices. My Heavenly Father sees all. You see, I don't just do it all for Rory, I do it all for God...for His glory.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
But that's in the eyes of the world. I don't see having my little man and staying home to look after him as a waste of my time or talents. I'm glad to be home with him, watching him grow (most days). This time will never come again and, God-willing, I can still use my qualifications sometime down the track.
Yet, as much as I love Rory, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day. The feeding, the nappy-changing, the entertaining, the comforting, the housework...each day seems the same. And the days are long! Often I wake up feeling like I haven't recovered from the day before.
There is someone that notices. My Heavenly Father sees all. You see, I don't just do it all for Rory, I do it all for God...for His glory.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Frocked Up
It's rare for me to get really dressed up these days. Apart from the occasional wedding, there's not a lot of reason to when you live on a farm. When that rare opportunity comes along, it is really exciting for us country folk.
The big boss (as Duncan refers to him), who owns the farm, held his bi-annual staff 'extravaganza' on the 22nd September at the Perth Convention Centre. Not only does he own two farms, he also owns a number of building, electrical and plumbing companies. So, yeah, we were expecting it to be posh. We even got to stay at a hotel...woohoo! All we had to pay for was our tickets to the event.
This meant I had to find a nice frock...which I got in Melbourne.
Ta-da!
The big boss (as Duncan refers to him), who owns the farm, held his bi-annual staff 'extravaganza' on the 22nd September at the Perth Convention Centre. Not only does he own two farms, he also owns a number of building, electrical and plumbing companies. So, yeah, we were expecting it to be posh. We even got to stay at a hotel...woohoo! All we had to pay for was our tickets to the event.
This meant I had to find a nice frock...which I got in Melbourne.
Ta-da!
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I was 23 weeks at the time.    Obviously I missed the memo.   to have organised this event though.  getting a tad difficult these days.   |
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
What a Fortnight!
I've felt quite stressed and run off my feet over the past two weeks. Here's why:
- I recovered from the flu only to be thrown straight back into work with two events in three days. I had a complete meltdown on the phone to Duncan because of the stress with organising the second one. Catering, venues, speakers, people...aaargh! It does my head in.
- I stacked it in the middle of a street right in town. I was pushing a shopping trolley and the wheel must have hit a pothole because over went the trolley, and over I went on top of the trolley. Either nobody noticed, or they just couldn't be bothered helping me up. I had a painfully sore, cut and bruised leg after that incident. I'm not sure if I started crying because of the pain, shock or because I was already having a very bad day.
- My cousin and his long-term partner split up.
- A friend on the farm had to rush to Perth as her terminally ill father didn't have long left. She was most worried about the fact that he wasn't a Christian, and she felt the burden of being the only Christian in her family...the only one who could tell him about Jesus. This brought back horrible memories for me about when my Nan was in hospital, and Duncan and I tried to share the gospel with her. It IS a privilege, but it's also really hard knowing that they might choose a Christless eternity. Some people in Christian families don't get how hard it can be. Praise God that my friend DID get to share the gospel with her dad (who is still hanging in there), and that he prayed out loud right there and then to ask God for forgiveness, putting his trust firmly in Christ. What a wonderful answer to prayer.
- Another friend rang me to tell me her partner's Nana had passed away. I always feel sad when I hear of people losing grandparents.
- I heard that a friend of mine from high school had passed away a few weeks ago. I lost touch with Sharon when high school ended, but I still felt so, so sad when I heard the news. She had been sick with recurring tonsilitus and couldn't shake off an infection which led to inflammation of the lining of her heart. Just awful.
- At PWC on Saturday, I was fighting to hold back the tears as I heard the testimonies of three wonderful older women who have walked with Jesus for many years. They have suffered so much, yet they praise Him for His faithfulness and are just so thankful for all they have. One lady shared about how she was the only Christian in her family and had received much opposition from her mum (boy, could I relate). Then both her parents put their trust in Christ on their deathbeds. Both were in their nineties. It gave me such hope, particularly after writing The Golden Oldies back in March.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Another Day in Woop Woop
Sometimes when I'm talking to my city friends I realise that, unless they move to the country, there will always be parts of my life that they cannot relate to. Things that they take for granted every day are things that are a struggle for us country folk.
Like what happened to me on Tuesday....
I work two part-time jobs as an administration officer (in other words: office chick). One of these jobs, although the pay is not great, is at least a steady source of income. I work Mondays and Wednesdays at this job in an office in town. The other job is on a 'now and then' basis and I am paid casual rates. I'm usually only needed when they have meetings (every few months). They had scheduled one of these meetings for Tuesday afternoon. Since the meeting didn't start until 1:30pm, I decided to go to ladies' tennis in the morning and then go home a bit early so I could get ready for the meeting.
The tennis club is in the middle of nowhere and about 15 minutes drive from my house. On my way home, a light came on on the dashboard and an alarm went off indicating that I had water in the diesel and it needed to be drained. We'd had the same problem two days before when Duncan had to pull over and drain the water out on our way home from church. The culprit was one of those dodgy 24 hour unmanned service stations which had recently opened in town. We later discovered that other people had water in their fuel after getting it from there. I pulled over and got out my trusty little car manual, but despite there being a diagram on how to drain the water, I couldn't make sense of it. I'm just not good with stuff like that.
So there I was, stuck on a gravel road out in woop woop. I didn't have my mobile with me (since it doesn't work out here anyway). I couldn't get anyone on the 2-way radio. I waited for a little bit and nobody came along that road. I felt like the only decent option was to walk so I took out my backpack, left the tennis racquet and the morning tea, locked the 4WD and set off on foot, praying someone would come along. I felt like Mi Taylor in National Velvet tramping along the road with my backpack....except I wasn't whistling since I was far from cheerful at this stage.
What I didn't realise was just how far I had to walk in order to find a house. There were just paddocks along the road with no driveway in sight. Even if you do find a driveway in the country, it can be a kilometre long with no guarantee there will actually be a house or anyone around at the end of it. I walked and walked, busting to pee, but not daring to stop since there wasn't much scrub by the roadside, and if someone did come along, it would be very embarrassing.
Ok, too much information!
Eventually...after at least 5km.... I reached a house. I knew this family from tennis so I trudged up the driveway, hoping they were home or at least that the house was unlocked so I could use their phone. The lady was very surprised to see me arrive while she was sitting at the table eating her lunch. She got me a drink (since I was sooo thirsty by this stage) and let me call Duncan on her phone. Despite the dodgy reception, I managed the get the message to him and he said (just before the reception cut out) that he'd send one of his workmates to pick me up. By this stage, I knew I'd never get to work on time so I rang my boss to let him know. He wasn't answering his phone after three attempts to ring him so I left a message and just hoped he'd got it.
Finally, one of the farmhands came to pick me up and he took me to where I'd left the 4WD, saying "Far out, you walked a long way." He is also a mechanic so he showed me how to drain the water and told me to bring the beast to the farm workshop. I drove home, had a shower and some late lunch, and then went to the workshop.
So that was my day. I missed out on half a day's pay which I'm not happy about. We've also made a complaint (as have other people) about that dodgy new petrol station. But, in hindsight, I can see that I have much to be grateful about:
If you break down in the country, you get fit very quickly.
Like what happened to me on Tuesday....
I work two part-time jobs as an administration officer (in other words: office chick). One of these jobs, although the pay is not great, is at least a steady source of income. I work Mondays and Wednesdays at this job in an office in town. The other job is on a 'now and then' basis and I am paid casual rates. I'm usually only needed when they have meetings (every few months). They had scheduled one of these meetings for Tuesday afternoon. Since the meeting didn't start until 1:30pm, I decided to go to ladies' tennis in the morning and then go home a bit early so I could get ready for the meeting.
The tennis club is in the middle of nowhere and about 15 minutes drive from my house. On my way home, a light came on on the dashboard and an alarm went off indicating that I had water in the diesel and it needed to be drained. We'd had the same problem two days before when Duncan had to pull over and drain the water out on our way home from church. The culprit was one of those dodgy 24 hour unmanned service stations which had recently opened in town. We later discovered that other people had water in their fuel after getting it from there. I pulled over and got out my trusty little car manual, but despite there being a diagram on how to drain the water, I couldn't make sense of it. I'm just not good with stuff like that.
So there I was, stuck on a gravel road out in woop woop. I didn't have my mobile with me (since it doesn't work out here anyway). I couldn't get anyone on the 2-way radio. I waited for a little bit and nobody came along that road. I felt like the only decent option was to walk so I took out my backpack, left the tennis racquet and the morning tea, locked the 4WD and set off on foot, praying someone would come along. I felt like Mi Taylor in National Velvet tramping along the road with my backpack....except I wasn't whistling since I was far from cheerful at this stage.
What I didn't realise was just how far I had to walk in order to find a house. There were just paddocks along the road with no driveway in sight. Even if you do find a driveway in the country, it can be a kilometre long with no guarantee there will actually be a house or anyone around at the end of it. I walked and walked, busting to pee, but not daring to stop since there wasn't much scrub by the roadside, and if someone did come along, it would be very embarrassing.
Ok, too much information!
Eventually...after at least 5km.... I reached a house. I knew this family from tennis so I trudged up the driveway, hoping they were home or at least that the house was unlocked so I could use their phone. The lady was very surprised to see me arrive while she was sitting at the table eating her lunch. She got me a drink (since I was sooo thirsty by this stage) and let me call Duncan on her phone. Despite the dodgy reception, I managed the get the message to him and he said (just before the reception cut out) that he'd send one of his workmates to pick me up. By this stage, I knew I'd never get to work on time so I rang my boss to let him know. He wasn't answering his phone after three attempts to ring him so I left a message and just hoped he'd got it.
Finally, one of the farmhands came to pick me up and he took me to where I'd left the 4WD, saying "Far out, you walked a long way." He is also a mechanic so he showed me how to drain the water and told me to bring the beast to the farm workshop. I drove home, had a shower and some late lunch, and then went to the workshop.
So that was my day. I missed out on half a day's pay which I'm not happy about. We've also made a complaint (as have other people) about that dodgy new petrol station. But, in hindsight, I can see that I have much to be grateful about:
- It happened during the day. It would be so creepy if it had happened at night! Hopefully Duncan would have sent out a search party eventually haha. I'm going to make sure there's always a torch in the car.
- It happened on a 26C day. Praise the Lord it didn't happen the day before when it was 38C.
- Since I had been playing tennis, I was wearing appropriate clothing for a long walk. I was glad to have comfortable shoes, a hat and sunscreen. That would have sucked if I'd broken down wearing a ballgown and high heels.
- My arthritis has been pretty good lately and I didn't injure myself at tennis. Walking 5km with a bad back or a sprained ankle would be VERY difficult.
- I had some water with me. Not much, but enough.
If you break down in the country, you get fit very quickly.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Plodding
It feels like I've just blinked and this year is nearly over. After all that has happened, how will I remember 2011?
There really is only one word that can describe this year:
Plodding.
I remember a few years back I caught up with an acquaintance and asked her how she'd been going. She shrugged and told me she and her family were just plodding along. That meant that life was neither thrilling nor depressing. It was just ordinary.
For me, 2011 has been a year of two steps forward, one step back. This has been frustrating, but it has also been a blessing. In a year of losing a loved one, illness, house renovations, and adjusting to life in another small town, I have been grateful that the end of this year has been better than the last. At least now our house has more or less been fixed and I am in reasonably good health. I lowered my expectations this year. I stopped putting pressure on myself to build relationships too quickly and was content to slowly get involved in the community. I learnt and I am still learning to say 'no'.
But other relationships have been hard. I have lost some of my passion for things like group Bible study. I am over feeling left out and having everyone in the group talk non-stop about babies and ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Although I need lots of time alone to recharge for social occasions, at times I have felt lonely...really lonely. Part of the reason I have struggled in the latter half of the year is that I work in an office all by myself and there are very few people who drop in. When I signed the contract, I assumed my boss would be working in the office with me. Later I found out that she'd always intended to keep working from home. Working alone all day probably sounds like bliss to mums with small children, but you can definitely have too much of a good thing.
One good thing about this year is that I finally feel some peace where lopsided friendships are concerned. I have dropped the ball with some people - not in a nasty, vengeful sort of way, but I feel silly initiating contact and inviting people only to hear a list of excuses or nothing at all. As a friend of mine once said, "If you email the same person a few times and they don't ever reply, you start to feel like you're talking to yourself!" I'm not really much of a phone person anyway (I prefer email or letters) and there are only a small handful of people I ring, so don't be offended if you don't hear from me via the phone (I do appreciate people ringing though, I just don't like ringing people in case I've got them at a bad time, and then I feel terrible about it). If some people decide they want to keep in touch again, I'm more than happy to reciprocate, but I'm over busting my gut trying. I think I finally have started to move on and have raised the white flag and surrendered. It's funny that I've done almost a complete turnaround since I wrote this post. I still get annoyed at people who tell me they want to visit, but I know they never will. But I no longer feel the desire to corner people and batter them over the head with my diary trying to book them in to visit. If they want to visit, they know they're more than welcome to contact us and suggest a weekend, but the ball is firmly in their court.
Despite being thrilled that my house looks like a house and not a construction zone, I feel like I am ready to move on (I know, I keep telling myself, "You just moved a year ago! Are you insane?!?"). I don't belong here, but I know that on this earth no place will truly feel like home, and I will feel like an alien and a stranger wherever we are. I'm also feeling a lot more robust (I even thought I could clean my entire house and fix up my garden in one day - craziness that resulted in me crashing into bed, having failed in this enormous and ridiculous task). Despite this readyness to leave, I want to make the most of this time. All places will have their positives and negatives. I'm getting a strong feeling from God that our time here is in preparation for something, but I don't want to be too presumptuous about what He might be doing. More on that later.
Even though parts of this year have been difficult, I think plodding can be a positive experience. Christians are told to keep running the race, but that doesn't mean life is a sprint. The race is more like a marathon; it's not about speed, it's about whether you keep going. Each time I feel like I'm falling, God picks me up and keeps me pressing on. All Christians have 'walking through the desert' times. It might feel like two steps forward, one step back, but in the end, I am still moving forward.
Although a change of year doesn't make everything peachy, I have lots to look forward to in 2012 and lots to be grateful for. See you next year!
There really is only one word that can describe this year:
Plodding.
I remember a few years back I caught up with an acquaintance and asked her how she'd been going. She shrugged and told me she and her family were just plodding along. That meant that life was neither thrilling nor depressing. It was just ordinary.
For me, 2011 has been a year of two steps forward, one step back. This has been frustrating, but it has also been a blessing. In a year of losing a loved one, illness, house renovations, and adjusting to life in another small town, I have been grateful that the end of this year has been better than the last. At least now our house has more or less been fixed and I am in reasonably good health. I lowered my expectations this year. I stopped putting pressure on myself to build relationships too quickly and was content to slowly get involved in the community. I learnt and I am still learning to say 'no'.
But other relationships have been hard. I have lost some of my passion for things like group Bible study. I am over feeling left out and having everyone in the group talk non-stop about babies and ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Although I need lots of time alone to recharge for social occasions, at times I have felt lonely...really lonely. Part of the reason I have struggled in the latter half of the year is that I work in an office all by myself and there are very few people who drop in. When I signed the contract, I assumed my boss would be working in the office with me. Later I found out that she'd always intended to keep working from home. Working alone all day probably sounds like bliss to mums with small children, but you can definitely have too much of a good thing.
One good thing about this year is that I finally feel some peace where lopsided friendships are concerned. I have dropped the ball with some people - not in a nasty, vengeful sort of way, but I feel silly initiating contact and inviting people only to hear a list of excuses or nothing at all. As a friend of mine once said, "If you email the same person a few times and they don't ever reply, you start to feel like you're talking to yourself!" I'm not really much of a phone person anyway (I prefer email or letters) and there are only a small handful of people I ring, so don't be offended if you don't hear from me via the phone (I do appreciate people ringing though, I just don't like ringing people in case I've got them at a bad time, and then I feel terrible about it). If some people decide they want to keep in touch again, I'm more than happy to reciprocate, but I'm over busting my gut trying. I think I finally have started to move on and have raised the white flag and surrendered. It's funny that I've done almost a complete turnaround since I wrote this post. I still get annoyed at people who tell me they want to visit, but I know they never will. But I no longer feel the desire to corner people and batter them over the head with my diary trying to book them in to visit. If they want to visit, they know they're more than welcome to contact us and suggest a weekend, but the ball is firmly in their court.
Despite being thrilled that my house looks like a house and not a construction zone, I feel like I am ready to move on (I know, I keep telling myself, "You just moved a year ago! Are you insane?!?"). I don't belong here, but I know that on this earth no place will truly feel like home, and I will feel like an alien and a stranger wherever we are. I'm also feeling a lot more robust (I even thought I could clean my entire house and fix up my garden in one day - craziness that resulted in me crashing into bed, having failed in this enormous and ridiculous task). Despite this readyness to leave, I want to make the most of this time. All places will have their positives and negatives. I'm getting a strong feeling from God that our time here is in preparation for something, but I don't want to be too presumptuous about what He might be doing. More on that later.
Even though parts of this year have been difficult, I think plodding can be a positive experience. Christians are told to keep running the race, but that doesn't mean life is a sprint. The race is more like a marathon; it's not about speed, it's about whether you keep going. Each time I feel like I'm falling, God picks me up and keeps me pressing on. All Christians have 'walking through the desert' times. It might feel like two steps forward, one step back, but in the end, I am still moving forward.
Although a change of year doesn't make everything peachy, I have lots to look forward to in 2012 and lots to be grateful for. See you next year!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness
Do you say 'yes' to requests when you really mean to say 'no'?
If you're busy because of the following:
"I need to prove myself"
"Otherwise things get out of control"
"I like the pressure/money"
At the root of our 'slavery' lie serious misunderstandings, often reinforced by our culture. If we want to be free, then we need to counteract them with God's Word. It's important to manage our time, but more important to manage our hearts.
Tim Chester actually lists a number of comments he collected from people in his church in the UK that he thought readers may be able to relate to. These are the dilemmas I especially wrestle with:
- How can I balance time between work, friends and church?
- Why do Christians seem busier than non-Christians?
- I always seem to take on too much.
Here are a number of things I learnt from the book:
- The busyness problem is NOT temporary unless we really do something about it. I'm always tempted to think that the period of busyness will soon be over and then I can relax. But the diary then fills up like any other time. To get out of the busyness trap, we need to make deliberate choices.
- The right attitude to work and leisure is NOT 'work is good and leisure is bad', nor is it 'leisure is good and work is bad.' We know many people who 'work for the weekend'. Duncan once bought a shirt and noticed later that it had a tiny label on the pocket that said 'Working for the Weekend'. He asked me to remove it. The Bible commends both hard work AND rest.
- Binge resting is not the pattern which God established. Our society works 48 weeks per year and takes four weeks off. But this is not restful as the period leading up to holidays is often the most stressful (oh yes!) and annual leave is not sufficient to recover from months and months of workaholism. Besides it is only the rich and middle class who can afford luxurious overseas trips.
- Work, rest...it is all about the glory of God. We work and rest for God's glory. The Sabbath was established to remember what God has done.
- The Bible tells us to number our days, not manage our minutes. Busyness can destroy relationships. Some people even use the busyness excuse to avoid relationships. Don't try and squeeze all you can out of life - just do what is most important. Jesus did not do everything - He did what God gave Him to do. Faithfulness - not how much we have done. Church activities may need to be downsized or pruned to make room for genuine relationships and discipleship.
There is one very challenging section on children. Although it is not relevant to myself and Duncan at this time in our lives, we constantly hear about the importance of 'family time' out here which usually means spending time as a family doing cute and fun things like going to the movies or eating dessert. Chester rebukes couples who use children as an excuse for not putting the kingdom first ("It wouldn't be fair on the children."). Here's what he says on page 59:
I shocked someone recently by asking them to name one occasion on which Jesus speaks positively about families. Every time Jesus talks about families He sees them as competing for our loyalty to Him and His community.
....Whatever we say about ourselves, our true values come to the surface in our aspirations for our children. Do you hope your children will be comfortable and well-paid? Or do you hope they will be be radical, risk-taking gospel workers?....What does family time actually mean? Watching the television, eating Big Macs, trips to the shopping centre? What values do these reinforce? What about making the service of others what unites us as families? What about weekly times when the whole family does something together for the good of others?
Challenging words to be keep in mind for the future!
Overall, this is a book I really recommend (other than the Bible) for every Western, busy Christian. Reading it won't suddenly make you less busy, but it might help you see more clearly why you are so busy (and don't use the excuse that you are too busy to read it...haha). I saw that I am busy because of my need for approval from others (rather than remembering that God is my master), the need to prove myself (when God is already well pleased with me because of Jesus), and because I like to be in control (rather than trusting God in life's ups and downs).
If you hurt your knee and it gets infected (your busyness gets out of control), you can cover it with a Bandaid (time management skills), but ultimately it won't get rid of the infection (time management won't change our hearts).
Jean from In All Honesty wrote a helpful series on this book and the subject of busyness here.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
I'm Sorry, Your Application Was Unsuccessful
A few weeks ago I applied for an admin job at the Shire office in Cranbrook. Cranbrook is a small town just over half an hour's drive from our home. The distance didn't bother me in the slightest since I used to drive from Buntine to Dalwallinu all the time for work, church and everything else, plus Duncan and I are now going to church in Cranbrook.
The position was full-time, but I phoned them and asked if they would consider job-share. They said they would so I applied and a couple of weeks later they phoned me and invited me to come for an interview. I thought the interview went as well as it could. The two staff members conducting the interview were very friendly and put me at ease. They assured that my request for job-share would not disadvantage me.
Unfortunately I found out last week I did not get the position. They said they were impressed with my interview, but ultimately I was not chosen. I felt a bit despondent and wondered if what happened in Dally was going to happen all over again.
The good news is that I do have a casual admin job working from home for the equivalent of one day per week. A lady from a grower group (the same sort of group I worked for in Buntine) had heard about me and asked if I would like to work with her. This group is just getting off the ground so they don't have an office yet. I met the lady for a coffee in town and she is lovely. I can see myself working well with her so I accepted her offer.
It's a start! Still, two days more work per week would be nice so it's back to the cold-turkey resume drop-offs. Maybe God's will is for my book to be published and my time will be taken up with that...who knows?!?
I'm trying to take each day as it comes and enjoy unemployment.
If you're using a reader, please click through to my blog to vote in the Sedshed Favourite Post of 2010 Poll.
The position was full-time, but I phoned them and asked if they would consider job-share. They said they would so I applied and a couple of weeks later they phoned me and invited me to come for an interview. I thought the interview went as well as it could. The two staff members conducting the interview were very friendly and put me at ease. They assured that my request for job-share would not disadvantage me.
Unfortunately I found out last week I did not get the position. They said they were impressed with my interview, but ultimately I was not chosen. I felt a bit despondent and wondered if what happened in Dally was going to happen all over again.
The good news is that I do have a casual admin job working from home for the equivalent of one day per week. A lady from a grower group (the same sort of group I worked for in Buntine) had heard about me and asked if I would like to work with her. This group is just getting off the ground so they don't have an office yet. I met the lady for a coffee in town and she is lovely. I can see myself working well with her so I accepted her offer.
It's a start! Still, two days more work per week would be nice so it's back to the cold-turkey resume drop-offs. Maybe God's will is for my book to be published and my time will be taken up with that...who knows?!?
I'm trying to take each day as it comes and enjoy unemployment.
If you're using a reader, please click through to my blog to vote in the Sedshed Favourite Post of 2010 Poll.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
On the Move
I have some news....
Duncan and I are moving to Kojonup! (Kojonup is about 2.5-3 hours south of Perth and has a population of roughly 2,500-3000 people).
Just before seeding finished in June, Duncan received a call from a mate of his who manages a farm down there, and he offered Duncan the position of managing the cropping program. He’d been badgering Duncan to come and work for him for years, but we always thought, “Umm maybe sometime well down the track.” Now a concrete offer was on the table. We thought about it, prayed about it, ummed and aahed about it, and finally got to have a good look at the farm in September on the way home from Albany after my school reunion. We accepted the offer that day.
It is a really good opportunity for Duncan who is very much a people person and will get to manage about five farmhands in his new role. Not only that, it is much closer to family on both sides (1.5 hours from Albany and 2.5 from Dunsborough), and when my Nan got sick, I realised I wanted to live much closer to her in her final years. My mum and dad care for her as she lives under their roof, and they haven’t had a holiday together in about two years. With us moving closer, it means we can do some Nana-sitting occasionally and they can have a life.
We’ve also been thinking about having kids in the next few years so we’ll be closer to family (although I didn’t want to be on their doorstep), and have a bigger house. With a bigger salary, it means we won’t have to worry about money since we would drop to one income. I was beginning to realise I cannot guarantee my book will be a success, and very few authors manage to live off their work alone. Although more money also means more opportunities to be generous.
It’s no secret that I’ve found it tough to break into the wider community up here, and I had my reservations about moving at first in case I was just trading in one small town for another. But Duncan’s new boss told us he has found the Kojonup community very supportive and caring. I’ve always felt welcomed and accepted in the church...it’s outside that I’ve found very few people I have much in common with.
What I am a little apprehensive about is the fact that all of the other girls living on the farm have young children. In just 2.5 years of marriage, we've already been made to feel like odd bods because we haven't started popping kids out like there's no tomorrow. The pressure you get, especially in the country, is unbelievable. I hope I'm not going to feel the same pressure down there, or just feel left out because I don't have a cute baby to talk about. Even when we were given a tour of the farm, Duncan's new boss mentioned, "Oh and there's a great playgroup in town." *Sigh*
Part of me feels like I’ve just moved and can’t be bothered moving again. But mostly I’m really excited!
We’ve both resigned from our jobs and will be heading off sometime around Christmas.
It’s quite emotionally draining to be making it public and being in the ‘goodbye phase’.
Duncan and I are moving to Kojonup! (Kojonup is about 2.5-3 hours south of Perth and has a population of roughly 2,500-3000 people).
Just before seeding finished in June, Duncan received a call from a mate of his who manages a farm down there, and he offered Duncan the position of managing the cropping program. He’d been badgering Duncan to come and work for him for years, but we always thought, “Umm maybe sometime well down the track.” Now a concrete offer was on the table. We thought about it, prayed about it, ummed and aahed about it, and finally got to have a good look at the farm in September on the way home from Albany after my school reunion. We accepted the offer that day.
It is a really good opportunity for Duncan who is very much a people person and will get to manage about five farmhands in his new role. Not only that, it is much closer to family on both sides (1.5 hours from Albany and 2.5 from Dunsborough), and when my Nan got sick, I realised I wanted to live much closer to her in her final years. My mum and dad care for her as she lives under their roof, and they haven’t had a holiday together in about two years. With us moving closer, it means we can do some Nana-sitting occasionally and they can have a life.
We’ve also been thinking about having kids in the next few years so we’ll be closer to family (although I didn’t want to be on their doorstep), and have a bigger house. With a bigger salary, it means we won’t have to worry about money since we would drop to one income. I was beginning to realise I cannot guarantee my book will be a success, and very few authors manage to live off their work alone. Although more money also means more opportunities to be generous.
It’s no secret that I’ve found it tough to break into the wider community up here, and I had my reservations about moving at first in case I was just trading in one small town for another. But Duncan’s new boss told us he has found the Kojonup community very supportive and caring. I’ve always felt welcomed and accepted in the church...it’s outside that I’ve found very few people I have much in common with.
What I am a little apprehensive about is the fact that all of the other girls living on the farm have young children. In just 2.5 years of marriage, we've already been made to feel like odd bods because we haven't started popping kids out like there's no tomorrow. The pressure you get, especially in the country, is unbelievable. I hope I'm not going to feel the same pressure down there, or just feel left out because I don't have a cute baby to talk about. Even when we were given a tour of the farm, Duncan's new boss mentioned, "Oh and there's a great playgroup in town." *Sigh*
Part of me feels like I’ve just moved and can’t be bothered moving again. But mostly I’m really excited!
We’ve both resigned from our jobs and will be heading off sometime around Christmas.
It’s quite emotionally draining to be making it public and being in the ‘goodbye phase’.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Featherbrained
Can someone please explain this to me because I'm at my wits end trying to 'get' some people.
Honestly, how can some people go through life being so incredibly vague, disorganised and forgetful? I know we all have our moments, but for these people, it's like a lifestyle choice. How on earth do they hold down jobs, maintain relationships or get anything done?
When I hear some women talk about how they have 'baby brain', I roll my eyes. I'm thinking, how can they blame their featherbrainedness on pregnancy when they've been like that their WHOLE LIVES? Show me a woman who normally is a fairly organised person, who suddenly loses her marbles during pregnancy, and THEN I will believe 'baby brain' exists.
At the moment, work is a nightmare trying to get organised for our next field day in less than two weeks. My workmates and I are trying to get everything done in a certain timeframe only to be let down by other people outside the workplace who are not meeting their deadlines. Their disorganisation makes us look unprofessional because we can't complete tasks until they do what they said they'd do. How do some people get and hold down important jobs when they decide to go AWOL and leave us hanging? It's rude!
I'm getting fed up with disorganised people - both at work and in my personal life. For goodness sake, buy a diary, get Google Calendar and USE THEM. It's not about being obsessed with people-pleasing; it's about honouring your promises and commitments. I hate it when people say to me, "Oh you're so organised," as if I got lucky with the 'organised gene' and they missed out. Take some responsibility! Organisation is a skill that everyone needs to keep practising their whole lives.
Are some people like this because they think there's always someone who will be stupid enough to pick up after them? As one of my former workmates at Curtin used to say, "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." I think this saying is true, but the worst thing is that other people's disorganisation ends up affecting those around them.
Are these sort of people gravitated to me or something? Does anyone else feel the same?
I don't get it. Please explain.
Honestly, how can some people go through life being so incredibly vague, disorganised and forgetful? I know we all have our moments, but for these people, it's like a lifestyle choice. How on earth do they hold down jobs, maintain relationships or get anything done?
When I hear some women talk about how they have 'baby brain', I roll my eyes. I'm thinking, how can they blame their featherbrainedness on pregnancy when they've been like that their WHOLE LIVES? Show me a woman who normally is a fairly organised person, who suddenly loses her marbles during pregnancy, and THEN I will believe 'baby brain' exists.
At the moment, work is a nightmare trying to get organised for our next field day in less than two weeks. My workmates and I are trying to get everything done in a certain timeframe only to be let down by other people outside the workplace who are not meeting their deadlines. Their disorganisation makes us look unprofessional because we can't complete tasks until they do what they said they'd do. How do some people get and hold down important jobs when they decide to go AWOL and leave us hanging? It's rude!
I'm getting fed up with disorganised people - both at work and in my personal life. For goodness sake, buy a diary, get Google Calendar and USE THEM. It's not about being obsessed with people-pleasing; it's about honouring your promises and commitments. I hate it when people say to me, "Oh you're so organised," as if I got lucky with the 'organised gene' and they missed out. Take some responsibility! Organisation is a skill that everyone needs to keep practising their whole lives.
Are some people like this because they think there's always someone who will be stupid enough to pick up after them? As one of my former workmates at Curtin used to say, "A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." I think this saying is true, but the worst thing is that other people's disorganisation ends up affecting those around them.
Are these sort of people gravitated to me or something? Does anyone else feel the same?
I don't get it. Please explain.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Don't Worry Your Life Away
It's one of those lessons I never seem to learn. God wants to bear my burdens, wants me to discuss my worries and concerns with HIM, yet I continually take it all upon my own back and allow myself to be crushed.
Over the past week or so, I had a major opportunity to experience God's peace and control over all situations. One of my main roles in my new job is to help organise events. We have several 'field days' per year and the behind the scenes part involves lots of phone calls, emails and chasing people up. When I first got the job, this was my main concern. Event organisation is not my cup of tea at all! It reminds me too much of organising our wedding, and the frustrating and often painful process that was. Some people thrive on those things; I'm not one of them! I've had too many instances in the past where people have let me down...and others wonder why I don't delegate enough!
Anyway, it was seeming like mission impossible to get everything ready for our first field day of the year, which was last Wednesday the 3rd. A week before, the printer and the photocopier were playing up while I was trying to get the booklets done. I had to stay behind until 6:30pm, all by myself, since the others were at a conference in Perth, with no technical support nearby. I was at the end of my tether and just plain exhausted. I had too much work to do in such little time, I feared the day would end up being a complete disaster. This was just before Duncan and I went to Jurien for the long weekend, which I had really been looking forward to, but by Thursday night, I was in such a flap, I began to rethink whether I wanted to go. I was afraid that I would spent the whole weekend worrying about and ruin our time there for both of us. Not that sitting at home worrying would have achieved much either, but that's the sort of person I am. If something's on my mind, I need to tackle it head on and resolve it and can't rest until it's done. It was so annoying during the wedding planning, when shops and businesses weren't open when I needed them. All I could do was worry and wait. And that's why I got so irritated at people who kept saying, "Don't stress" or "Go have a massage" during the wedding preparations. What I really needed was them to help me solve the problem, not suggest Bandaid solutions.
As you know, we went to Jurien and I still managed to have a good time amidst the worry. Although when I tried to sleep, I kept envisioning the booklet binder going crunch, crunch, crunch, or myself in a sleeping bag having to stay the night at the office. All I could do was ask for divine help and try to commit my worries to God's care.
On Tuesday, we miraculously managed to set up the venue in only half a day, despite being short-staffed, and all the booklets were compiled and bound. I am absolutely certain that this was God at work since my boss said, in the past, it has taken them longer to set up the venue with more helpers!
The day went off pretty much without a hitch. My job was mainly to serve the food and I think it went ok, despite the fact we had to serve the Agriculture and Food Minister a drink of water out of a wine glass, because we had no other regular glasses available (he probably looked like an alco haha!) I even managed to relax and enjoy myself, knowing that God had somehow managed to help me and my workmates pull off the impossible. It is a wonderful feeling when you commit your cares to Him.
God is there and wants to be involved intimately in my life's decisions and cares, an amazing privilege I do not take advantage of. I'm not saying that God will allow every situation to run smoothly, but nothing can happen without his hand being on the situation. Worrying does not achieve anything except poorly affecting my health, and I'd like to think I do not worry as much as I used to, but this event showed me my flaws. I'm so grateful to have a God who offers us such wonderful promises as He does in yesterday's Bible verse.
Over the past week or so, I had a major opportunity to experience God's peace and control over all situations. One of my main roles in my new job is to help organise events. We have several 'field days' per year and the behind the scenes part involves lots of phone calls, emails and chasing people up. When I first got the job, this was my main concern. Event organisation is not my cup of tea at all! It reminds me too much of organising our wedding, and the frustrating and often painful process that was. Some people thrive on those things; I'm not one of them! I've had too many instances in the past where people have let me down...and others wonder why I don't delegate enough!
Anyway, it was seeming like mission impossible to get everything ready for our first field day of the year, which was last Wednesday the 3rd. A week before, the printer and the photocopier were playing up while I was trying to get the booklets done. I had to stay behind until 6:30pm, all by myself, since the others were at a conference in Perth, with no technical support nearby. I was at the end of my tether and just plain exhausted. I had too much work to do in such little time, I feared the day would end up being a complete disaster. This was just before Duncan and I went to Jurien for the long weekend, which I had really been looking forward to, but by Thursday night, I was in such a flap, I began to rethink whether I wanted to go. I was afraid that I would spent the whole weekend worrying about and ruin our time there for both of us. Not that sitting at home worrying would have achieved much either, but that's the sort of person I am. If something's on my mind, I need to tackle it head on and resolve it and can't rest until it's done. It was so annoying during the wedding planning, when shops and businesses weren't open when I needed them. All I could do was worry and wait. And that's why I got so irritated at people who kept saying, "Don't stress" or "Go have a massage" during the wedding preparations. What I really needed was them to help me solve the problem, not suggest Bandaid solutions.
As you know, we went to Jurien and I still managed to have a good time amidst the worry. Although when I tried to sleep, I kept envisioning the booklet binder going crunch, crunch, crunch, or myself in a sleeping bag having to stay the night at the office. All I could do was ask for divine help and try to commit my worries to God's care.
On Tuesday, we miraculously managed to set up the venue in only half a day, despite being short-staffed, and all the booklets were compiled and bound. I am absolutely certain that this was God at work since my boss said, in the past, it has taken them longer to set up the venue with more helpers!
The day went off pretty much without a hitch. My job was mainly to serve the food and I think it went ok, despite the fact we had to serve the Agriculture and Food Minister a drink of water out of a wine glass, because we had no other regular glasses available (he probably looked like an alco haha!) I even managed to relax and enjoy myself, knowing that God had somehow managed to help me and my workmates pull off the impossible. It is a wonderful feeling when you commit your cares to Him.
God is there and wants to be involved intimately in my life's decisions and cares, an amazing privilege I do not take advantage of. I'm not saying that God will allow every situation to run smoothly, but nothing can happen without his hand being on the situation. Worrying does not achieve anything except poorly affecting my health, and I'd like to think I do not worry as much as I used to, but this event showed me my flaws. I'm so grateful to have a God who offers us such wonderful promises as He does in yesterday's Bible verse.
Monday, November 09, 2009
New Job!
Well, as the title of this post indicates, I have a new job!
Last year, I applied for an admin job at a farming organisation in Buntine, went for an interview and was turned down. In May this year, I approached them about doing my TAFE prac with them and they were happy to have some slave labour for two and a half months.
Three weeks ago, they rang me up and offered me a job (yes, a paid one)!
It's for two days a week, although I'm doing induction and training for one day a week until Christmas and start properly in January. I've committed to my current job until Christmas and maybe I might work one day a week with them as well next year. The boss is still working out her staffing so I'll have to wait and see.
After doing a fairly mindless job for a while, I feel I'm ready to move on to something a bit more challenging. I've enjoyed my time at the gift shop and I'm still hoping I don't have to leave completely. I had my first day of induction last week and my head is spinning a bit. They have so many committees, meetings and events....I have a lot to learn.
I can't remember the last time anyone (who wasn't family) just rang me up and offered me a job, without even having an interview!
Strange how things work out.....
Last year, I applied for an admin job at a farming organisation in Buntine, went for an interview and was turned down. In May this year, I approached them about doing my TAFE prac with them and they were happy to have some slave labour for two and a half months.
Three weeks ago, they rang me up and offered me a job (yes, a paid one)!
It's for two days a week, although I'm doing induction and training for one day a week until Christmas and start properly in January. I've committed to my current job until Christmas and maybe I might work one day a week with them as well next year. The boss is still working out her staffing so I'll have to wait and see.
After doing a fairly mindless job for a while, I feel I'm ready to move on to something a bit more challenging. I've enjoyed my time at the gift shop and I'm still hoping I don't have to leave completely. I had my first day of induction last week and my head is spinning a bit. They have so many committees, meetings and events....I have a lot to learn.
I can't remember the last time anyone (who wasn't family) just rang me up and offered me a job, without even having an interview!
Strange how things work out.....
Friday, July 24, 2009
In Hindsight
Hindsight can be a wonderful thing.
Sometimes it's amazing to look back on situations that appeared hopeless, disappointing or just bewildering and see how that particular trial fitted into God's plan. We know in our heads that no circumstance is random but sometimes it sure seems that way and we cry out to God, "Why?"
Last year, I applied for a job as an admin person at a farming organisation in Buntine. I really wanted the job but I didn't get it. As I kept getting knocked back for more jobs, I got more disillusioned and asked God why he was allowing me to go to all that trouble in redoing my resume, answering selection criteria.....for nothing.
This year, I needed to find a workplace that would allow me to undertake admin work experience with them as part of my TAFE studies. I rang up that same organisation that I'd applied for almost a year earlier and asked them if they'd be willing to have me. They remembered me and said yes.
Now in hindsight I can see that although I never got a paid position with them, the interview was not fruitless. I got to meet some new people who could help me when the time came. I've been doing work experience with them for two months now with a few more weeks to go and I've enjoyed working with people my own age.
Sometimes we can see in hindsight why God allowed something to happen....and sometimes we will never know this side of heaven. We just need to trust and obey a loving Father who knows far more than we do.
Sometimes it's amazing to look back on situations that appeared hopeless, disappointing or just bewildering and see how that particular trial fitted into God's plan. We know in our heads that no circumstance is random but sometimes it sure seems that way and we cry out to God, "Why?"
Last year, I applied for a job as an admin person at a farming organisation in Buntine. I really wanted the job but I didn't get it. As I kept getting knocked back for more jobs, I got more disillusioned and asked God why he was allowing me to go to all that trouble in redoing my resume, answering selection criteria.....for nothing.
This year, I needed to find a workplace that would allow me to undertake admin work experience with them as part of my TAFE studies. I rang up that same organisation that I'd applied for almost a year earlier and asked them if they'd be willing to have me. They remembered me and said yes.
Now in hindsight I can see that although I never got a paid position with them, the interview was not fruitless. I got to meet some new people who could help me when the time came. I've been doing work experience with them for two months now with a few more weeks to go and I've enjoyed working with people my own age.
Sometimes we can see in hindsight why God allowed something to happen....and sometimes we will never know this side of heaven. We just need to trust and obey a loving Father who knows far more than we do.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Buntine/Dally vs Perth
I've been living in Buntine for more than six months now so that's probably enough time to do a 'review' of how my lifestyle now compares to the one I had in Perth. Remember, this post I did in January when I announced I was moving? Well, I'm going to list many of those categories again and do pros and cons for each....just so you all know a bit more about how my life is now.
House
Pros
We get it rent free and can have as many animals as we like.
Cons
The size. It's a small house compared to my last place in Bibra Lake. There is a lack of cupboards etc and as a result we've had to put a lot of our stuff into storage at Dunc's parents' place.
Location
Pros
We're out in the middle of nowhere which definitely has its advantages. Lots of peace and quiet, space and it certainly puts an end to people just randomly 'dropping in'. No-one in their right mind would drive all the way out here to drop in on us because with the price of petrol it would be costly trip and a waste of time if we were out. Because we're so far out, it also helps with saying 'no' to things and not getting too busy. And when we don't want to go to something, the distance is a perfect excuse ;)
Cons
Our location also has its disadvantages. More petrol is required and the price of it up here is about 20c/litre more than Perth. I'd quite like to be involved in a few things in Dally but I'm not a good night driver and don't want to fall back into bad habits from Perth of getting involved in EVERYTHING.
Shopping
Pros
The thing I like about shopping up here is that everything is in the main street and it takes far less time. This is so much better compared to Perth where I would go to the Carousel to buy two things and end up spending an hour there because there was no parking or long queues or both.
Cons
I'm not used to shopping being a 'social' experience. Here, you can't go down the street without bumping into about half a dozen people you know. I'm used to 'anonymous' shopping where I can go to a big shopping centre and not know a soul. Sometimes I really don't feel like stopping and chatting, however that doesn't mean I want you to ignore me if you see me in the street. It just means I'm not used to it and I still get the 'I'm in a hurry' mentality which is so common of Perth shoppers.
Another downside is there is only one supermarket and because there is no competition, the prices are ridiculous and a lot of the stock is past its use-by date. Disgusting! I always make sure I do a big dry goods shop each time I go to Perth. Also, it's frustrating not having everything at my fingertips like I was used to in Perth. Some things are just not available here.
Eateries
Pros
I enjoy the food from the bakery and the pub and I guess the pros of eating out in Dally is that there isn't much debate about where you'll eat because we're not exactly spoiled for choice.
Cons
The lack of choice is a downside. I miss my fast food! Bring KFC to Dally!
Church
Pros
It's small, it's friendly. The people have been welcoming to me. Can't complain about that side of things. Besides I'm finding out that more and more of them read this blog ;)
Cons
These aren't really cons, more things that I've found hard to adjust to. I've only ever been a member of one other church in my life so its been strange going somewhere else that is so different in many aspects. At my old church, we had singers and more musicians. Here, we just have one pianist and that's it which I find hard sometimes because I'd rather someone lead (since I don't know many of the songs) and makes the congregation sing with more gusto in my experience. Also, I find it strange that people dress up more, sing so many hymns and read from the KJV during the service. Because I went to an evening church, I'm used to rocking up in whatever I was wearing that day. If I had my way, I'd have less hymns with confusing lyrics to make it easier to invite non Christians but church is not all about me....that's just my point of view. For the first time, I'm at a church that actually has people of all ages and they're all related. At my old church there are a lot of people that don't have extended family at the same church and most of the demographic were under 40 and university educated. Here, there are sometimes three generations from the same family at church and most are farmers or married to farmers. Again, not bad things, just different.
Work
Pros
I have work.....that's a good thing. I work with only one other person compared to being in a department of a large library which I was in before. This helps me get to know my workmate better because there's no-one else to talk to. I like that the job is cruisy and that it's part-time and that I get to meet so many people from the community.
Cons
I've had to deal with being on a lower wage than I'm used to and sometimes I miss the big social atmosphere from my old work. Luckily the person I work with is nice because it could have been very unpleasant if she wasn't. Also, working in a shop that sells so many things I like is VERY tempting.
Concerning Duncan's work, I'm finding being married to a farmhand quite strange in some aspects because they work such long hours during busy seasons and I'm used to a 9-5 job. I'm not begrudging about this because I understand that's the nature of his job, I'm just trying to adjust.
Community
Pros
Most people I've met outside church have been very welcoming. It helps that a lot of others are new too and finding their feet. I particularly like the tennis club at Buntine who have been so inclusive and welcoming. It's good being a part of a small community. I think that community is harder to create in Perth because it's such a big, sprawly place....where do the boundaries of each community begin and end?
Cons
Being a newcomer, I often feel like an outsider just because I don't know everyone and it feels like everyone else has known each other for years. I miss my friends in Perth most of all and sometimes I think if I'd moved up here as a single person, I'd find it very hard. And what they say about small towns is true.....gossip is rife and everyone seems to know your business before you even know it yourself.
So there you have it. If I had to choose out of the city and the country, I'd definitely pick country. There's no way I'd ever want my fast paced, stressful city life back again. On the downside, it's the relationships that I built in Perth that I miss the most.
House
Pros
We get it rent free and can have as many animals as we like.
Cons
The size. It's a small house compared to my last place in Bibra Lake. There is a lack of cupboards etc and as a result we've had to put a lot of our stuff into storage at Dunc's parents' place.
Location
Pros
We're out in the middle of nowhere which definitely has its advantages. Lots of peace and quiet, space and it certainly puts an end to people just randomly 'dropping in'. No-one in their right mind would drive all the way out here to drop in on us because with the price of petrol it would be costly trip and a waste of time if we were out. Because we're so far out, it also helps with saying 'no' to things and not getting too busy. And when we don't want to go to something, the distance is a perfect excuse ;)
Cons
Our location also has its disadvantages. More petrol is required and the price of it up here is about 20c/litre more than Perth. I'd quite like to be involved in a few things in Dally but I'm not a good night driver and don't want to fall back into bad habits from Perth of getting involved in EVERYTHING.
Shopping
Pros
The thing I like about shopping up here is that everything is in the main street and it takes far less time. This is so much better compared to Perth where I would go to the Carousel to buy two things and end up spending an hour there because there was no parking or long queues or both.
Cons
I'm not used to shopping being a 'social' experience. Here, you can't go down the street without bumping into about half a dozen people you know. I'm used to 'anonymous' shopping where I can go to a big shopping centre and not know a soul. Sometimes I really don't feel like stopping and chatting, however that doesn't mean I want you to ignore me if you see me in the street. It just means I'm not used to it and I still get the 'I'm in a hurry' mentality which is so common of Perth shoppers.
Another downside is there is only one supermarket and because there is no competition, the prices are ridiculous and a lot of the stock is past its use-by date. Disgusting! I always make sure I do a big dry goods shop each time I go to Perth. Also, it's frustrating not having everything at my fingertips like I was used to in Perth. Some things are just not available here.
Eateries
Pros
I enjoy the food from the bakery and the pub and I guess the pros of eating out in Dally is that there isn't much debate about where you'll eat because we're not exactly spoiled for choice.
Cons
The lack of choice is a downside. I miss my fast food! Bring KFC to Dally!
Church
Pros
It's small, it's friendly. The people have been welcoming to me. Can't complain about that side of things. Besides I'm finding out that more and more of them read this blog ;)
Cons
These aren't really cons, more things that I've found hard to adjust to. I've only ever been a member of one other church in my life so its been strange going somewhere else that is so different in many aspects. At my old church, we had singers and more musicians. Here, we just have one pianist and that's it which I find hard sometimes because I'd rather someone lead (since I don't know many of the songs) and makes the congregation sing with more gusto in my experience. Also, I find it strange that people dress up more, sing so many hymns and read from the KJV during the service. Because I went to an evening church, I'm used to rocking up in whatever I was wearing that day. If I had my way, I'd have less hymns with confusing lyrics to make it easier to invite non Christians but church is not all about me....that's just my point of view. For the first time, I'm at a church that actually has people of all ages and they're all related. At my old church there are a lot of people that don't have extended family at the same church and most of the demographic were under 40 and university educated. Here, there are sometimes three generations from the same family at church and most are farmers or married to farmers. Again, not bad things, just different.
Work
Pros
I have work.....that's a good thing. I work with only one other person compared to being in a department of a large library which I was in before. This helps me get to know my workmate better because there's no-one else to talk to. I like that the job is cruisy and that it's part-time and that I get to meet so many people from the community.
Cons
I've had to deal with being on a lower wage than I'm used to and sometimes I miss the big social atmosphere from my old work. Luckily the person I work with is nice because it could have been very unpleasant if she wasn't. Also, working in a shop that sells so many things I like is VERY tempting.
Concerning Duncan's work, I'm finding being married to a farmhand quite strange in some aspects because they work such long hours during busy seasons and I'm used to a 9-5 job. I'm not begrudging about this because I understand that's the nature of his job, I'm just trying to adjust.
Community
Pros
Most people I've met outside church have been very welcoming. It helps that a lot of others are new too and finding their feet. I particularly like the tennis club at Buntine who have been so inclusive and welcoming. It's good being a part of a small community. I think that community is harder to create in Perth because it's such a big, sprawly place....where do the boundaries of each community begin and end?
Cons
Being a newcomer, I often feel like an outsider just because I don't know everyone and it feels like everyone else has known each other for years. I miss my friends in Perth most of all and sometimes I think if I'd moved up here as a single person, I'd find it very hard. And what they say about small towns is true.....gossip is rife and everyone seems to know your business before you even know it yourself.
So there you have it. If I had to choose out of the city and the country, I'd definitely pick country. There's no way I'd ever want my fast paced, stressful city life back again. On the downside, it's the relationships that I built in Perth that I miss the most.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Down
I have not been going so well over the past few days, particularly yesterday.
I can't put my finger on a specific thing instead I think it's just lots of things that have been building up over time. Most of the time I've been swinging between feeling extremely angry and very downhearted and sad. If you have a smart arse remark or a stupid joke that you think will cheer me up or if you just feel like 'stirring' (I hate that word), I advise you to keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your teeth intact.
Here are a few reasons why I've been feeling so bad.
I can't put my finger on a specific thing instead I think it's just lots of things that have been building up over time. Most of the time I've been swinging between feeling extremely angry and very downhearted and sad. If you have a smart arse remark or a stupid joke that you think will cheer me up or if you just feel like 'stirring' (I hate that word), I advise you to keep your mouth shut if you want to keep your teeth intact.
Here are a few reasons why I've been feeling so bad.
- Feeling peopled-out. We've had visitors last weekend, will have visitors this weekend and possibly others on the long weekend, then it's church camp and then I'm going to Albany to catch up with a friend that I haven't seen for 12 years. I like visitors but I find I get more and more claustrophobic the more people there are in our little cottage.
- Feeling more exhausted than I have in a long time. I went on a day trip to Perth on the weekend and now realise it was a bad idea. I'm angry with myself for allowing myself to be talked into seeing more people than is humanly possible in a single day and now I feel like I did before the wedding. Exhausted but too tired to sleep (if that makes sense). I'm trying not to go back to the sleeping pills.
- Having a bad time at work, accidentally breaking stupid things. The shop is so crammed with stupid breakable ornaments that staff can't help but break things while cleaning etc. The lady I work with told me she has broken heaps and nearly went broke herself because she had to pay for it all. Yesterday I broke a stupid baby ornament that was worth $50 but thankfully my boss said I didn't have to pay for it. Someone had stacked a pile of things so that when I tried to move one it created a domino effect.
- I'm sick of lopsided friendships. Since moving here, Duncan and I are realising that some people seem to be very lazy in keeping in touch even though we've tried through Facebook, SMS, calling etc and we never get any reply! We've been hearing through the grapevine about events that we'd normally expect to be invited to if I were still in Perth and now that we're not it really hurts. It's like 'out of sight, out of mind' for some people and just because we've moved three hours away, we seemed to have completely dropped off their radar.
- I'm sick of people talking about the election, particularly those who ask my opinion or who I voted for then proceed to lecture me because I didn't vote for who THEY think are the best and I can't get a word in. I'm tired of getting political propaganda in my email and thoroughly fed up with Christians who go and on about the Christian Democratic Party and implying that if I didn't vote for them I must be pro-gay and a lesser caste of Christian.
- I'm fed up to the back teeth with people who deliberately try to stir me and others when I'm angry or upset but would absolutely go psycho if anyone did the same thing to them when they're down. Hypocrites!
Phew! There you have it. I woke up feeling a little cheerier today. Let's hope that today is a better day.
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