God's Good Design

I loved this book!  FINALLY a book that takes a good, hard look at what the Bible has to say on the roles of men and women, the meaning of 'submission', and clarifies those passages which make us squirm and reluctant to explain to our non-Christian friends.

Claire Smith shares her own story of how she became a Christian as a young adult, yet it wasn't until years later that she had her feminist views challenged by the very passages she examines closely in this book.









The controversial passages include:
1 Timothy 2
 1 Corinthians 11
1 Corinthians 14
Ephesians 5
1 Peter 3
Genesis 1-3
Proverbs 31

The passages are divided into those who are about men and women's roles in the church and the roles of husbands and wives in the home, and how God did not intend these to be vastly different.  What I liked about this book was the methodical look at each verse in the passage, the mention of the context, and the challenge to take off our cultural 'glasses' when we approach the Bible.  When I first read some of the Bible properly as a first year uni student, I was coming to it with my own biases firmly in place, heavily influenced by what Australian society says about men and women.  It was very, very hard to come to the Bible and not immediately get my back up (it still is sometimes).  Claire makes no apologies for what the Bible says.  She knows Christians often cringe about these passages and would love an easy escape route in the form of a preacher who would say they are no longer relevant.  But God's Word, although written in a different time and place, is as relevant today and tomorrow as it was back then.

The book neither dismisses submission as old-fashioned and no longer required, nor does it add a list of culturally-inherited 'rules' for women to follow.  Submission will look different for each woman depending on the context she is in.  The way I submit to Duncan will look different to how my other married Christian female friends submit to their husbands.  Although I appreciate the example of other godly women, my marriage is not to be modelled on someone else's - it is to be shaped by God's Word.

I appreciated the reminder that men and women were designed by God to be equal, yet different.  God is not a male chauvinist, nor are men and women exactly the same.  Both are equally loved by God, both are as equally important, both are sinful, but they have different roles.

This book is available from the Matthias Media Australian store here.

There is also a US store here.

Marriage 101: The S Word

I came to uni as a feminist.  I guess I couldn't be considered all that hardcore - I didn't like bras but didn't actually want to burn them - but I believed in women's rights.  The Bible was an outdated, chauvinistic book.  If I ever got married, there was no way 'obey' was going to make its way into the vows.  Submit was a dirty word.

Fast forward a year and a half and I'm sitting at Mid Year Conference (a camp for all of the Christian Unions at all of the unis in Perth), talking to two girls I'd just met.  I'm 19 years old and they're both around my age.  The two girls were discussing how some high school girls they knew were talking at youth group about how they didn't want to submit if they got married one day.
"I don't know why some girls think submitting is so hard," one girl remarked.  The other nodded and I, now in the process of being softened by Jesus to His ways, nodded as well.

Looking back, that conversation seems so ridiculous.  We were all single.  We had NO IDEA what it was like to be a married Christian woman so how could we say submission is so easy?

Submission has been a constant struggle in my marriage.  Although I was only 24 when I got married, I was set in my ways and liked having full control of my life's steering wheel.  I was only prepared to submit if Duncan wanted something that I wanted anyway.

Not only that, I was confused as the what submission looked like practically.  I've already observed a number of different interpretations and practices in Christian marriages:

• When it comes to major decisions, the husband should have the final say and the wife must go along with it, even if she disagrees. 
• Then the opposite - submission does not involve the wife not having her say - both husband and wife must come to an agreement before any action is taken.
• The wife must follow her husband's interpretation of the Bible, even if it is heretical, because he is her spiritual leader.
• Then the opposite - the husband's role is to lead the wife spiritually, but the wife's ultimate allegiance is to God so she must not follow her husband into heresy.
• The wife should stay at home, cook, clean and raise the children.  The husband should work.
• Then the opposite - how each family works is up to them, whether it be both spouses sharing work and child-raising or something else.
• The wife should not spend money without asking her husband for permission.
• The husband should initiate quiet times with the wife.
• The wife must take a real, active interest in the husband's work (especially if it's farming).
• Being a submissive wife does not mean the wife should turn off her brain or shouldn't think for herself.

All of this coupled with jargon such as 'complimentarian' and 'egalitarian', men spouting off Ephesians 5:22-24 smugly, and hotly debated Bible chapters such as 1 Timothy 2, 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Corinthians 14 and 1 Peter 3, no wonder I was confused!

After five and a half years of marriage, I still struggle to follow Duncan's leadership and I forget to encourage him to lead.  Just as I'm learning to be a wife, he's still learning to be a husband.  We need to show each other some grace.

Thankfully I read a book last year which addressed many of my questions, concerns, objections and really nutted through the Bible passages I mentioned above.

Stay tuned for a review.....

Quote of the Day

The man is the head but the woman is the neck.  And she can turn the head any way she wants.
 - Maria Portokalos (Lainie Kazan) in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Emma's 30th

The second last 30th I will attend this year.

My dear friend and former housemate Emma celebrated her 30th a couple of weeks ago.  She had two parties - a 'dessert indulgence night' followed by a picnic the next day.  On the Saturday night she, her mum, her sister and five of her closest female friends had the delight of dressing up and tasting a variety of exquisite desserts.  Unfortunately the picnic ended by being rained out, but it was still a great affair.

Emma, Rhianon, me, Rianna



Emma telling everyone to go and eat cake

Mmm so many cakes to choose from

The birthday girl

Bubba Rory

Christina getting cuddles with Rory

Christina and I

Get On Your Soapbox #24

Urgh, I am SO OVER the world's OBSESSION with happiness and positive thinking.

Apparently everyone's main aim should be to be happy all the time and, if something bad happens, well, we'll just close our eyes and think positive and it will all go away.

First things first, I'm not at all meaning people who think that thinking positively will help them fight cancer or unemployment or whichever battle they are facing.  That's great!  Should we count our blessings and keep slogging away when things look bleak?  Absolutely.

What I've had a gutful of is people telling those who are suffering to just be happy because life's too short, or think positive and it will all be ok, or something else equally patronising, superficial and trite.  To the suffering, it sounds like, Shut up and get over it, I'm sick of hearing about your problems, you're ruining my happy existence.  Newsflash: life is hard, people are suffering, and no-one can be happy all the time.  If they are, they must be high on drugs.  I've had people try and get me on the happiness/positive thinking juggernaut when I've been in the midst of depression and it just made me feel worse.

The Comfort In, Dump Out model has been floated around a bit on Facebook and Meredith posted it on her blog.  It's so spot on!  People going through hard times need comfort and support, not silly whimsical advice.

I don't go for happiness.  No, I'm not a masochist or like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh (at least I hope not).  I'm a realist.  Life is hard.  We live in a fallen world.  Grief needs to be worked through and done well, not just shoved away and a fake smile plastered on.  Happiness is fleeting because it usually arises from a particular circumstance and when that circumstance changes for the worse, it is difficult to remain happy.  I don't want happiness, I want joy.  Joy is deeper.  Joy is constant.  Joy is knowing that my troubles are fleeting and one day I will be with Jesus.  One day there will be no more crying, mourning or pain.  Joy is knowing Christ, that He is Lord and my Saviour, that He loves me deeply, no matter what I may be going through all the time.  I can have tears running down my face and still be joyful because I know and trust Him.

The other reason I dislike the world's obsession with happiness is that it is so self-centred.  Happiness is all about me.  I want to feel good.  It's about having things go my way so I can feel good, so I ultimately need to keep pursuing happiness more and more.  This pursuit doesn't consider others.

Tim Minchin got it so right in his address to staff and graduates at UWA.  Watch it.  I agree with his views on the pursuit of happiness.

Bible Verse of the Day

To some people, studying at university, then working, only to give it up to stay home and be at the mercy of a very confusing baby, seems ludicrous.

But that's in the eyes of the world.  I don't see having my little man and staying home to look after him as a waste of my time or talents.  I'm glad to be home with him, watching him grow (most days).  This time will never come again and, God-willing, I can still use my qualifications sometime down the track.

Yet, as much as I love Rory, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day.  The feeding, the nappy-changing, the entertaining, the comforting, the housework...each day seems the same.  And the days are long!  Often I wake up feeling like I haven't recovered from the day before.

There is someone that notices.  My Heavenly Father sees all.  You see, I don't just do it all for Rory, I do it all for God...for His glory.


Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

Press On Mums by Colin Buchanan

I've mentioned before that Colin Buchanan is a regular feature in my car now (the man knows how to settle grizzly babies, I can tell you!)

Karen and Meredith recommended I get Colin's CD, Real Hope which has the following song.

It's the middle of harvest here and, boy, now I know why mums with small children on farms detest seeding and harvest so much!  It's hard on the men, but it's hard on the women as well.  I feel like a single parent some days as Duncan's gone before Rory gets up and not home until he's in bed again.

I take my hat off to you, single mums!  You are amazing!

Thank you, Colin for this song!  May it encourage all of the mums out there.  I can't wait to buy this CD!

Press on, Mums, in all the chaos,
Look to Jesus through the tears,
God will guide you
Through those precious, tender years.
And in all you do, do it for Jesus,
Who won you life and free forgiveness.
Yesterday, today, He is the same,
All you do, do it in Jesus' name.
And when all your human energy is gone,
Look towards your Jesus and press on.

Lyrics sourced from here.