After a week of little sleep, a bad nightmare on Wednesday night and a gazillion commitments, I am feeling quite stressed and drained and badly in need of a few jokes. So here's a few.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam."
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
An icecream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with nuts and hundreds and thousands. Police say he topped himself.
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."