Monday, June 25, 2007

The Joy of Cancelling

As I mentioned in my last Friday Funny post, my stress and tiredness levels were getting pretty high. Then on Friday night, I hit rock bottom.

After arriving home on Friday night utterly exhausted, I collected my mail and was greeted by a letter from the real estate agent I rent my house through. The letter said I had not notified them of my intention to renew my lease and they were threatening to relet my house in 48 hours. That was the last straw - I completely lost it during phone calls to Duncan and my dad (my dad is a real estate agent and he told me that they cannot just kick me out - that's illegal). Thankfully, Aimee and I managed to sort everything out the next day.

After that, I quit! I decided I wasn't going to see anyone or do anything on the weekend. By that stage, I was feeling pretty sick and was struggling to sleep properly. Oh, the joy of quitting! Do you ever get that? You feel like you're never going to make it through all your commitments so you just pull out - and then feel the tremendous relief afterwards. I was madly preparing for my first ever Sunday School lesson but I wasn't feeling well enough so I didn't even go to church. A friend kindly did it for me. I cancelled a Saturday night dinner invitation that I was looking forward to but in the end, I just couldn't face people. My people-pleasing streak seemed to emerge when I said to Duncan, "Do you think people are going to judge me for just throwing it all in and not turning up, for taking a break?"
He replied, "I doubt anyone would think that and if they do - that's between them and God."
He was right of course. I cannot be ruled by other people's opinions (or perceived opinions).

So I veged and slept and watched telly and got an early night's sleep and I slept right through. And now I'm at work, feeling better than I have in a long time. I might just be able to kick my newfound coffee habit.

I'm going to blog more later about burnout and how I'm sick of the way it's so trendy and encouraged in Christian circles.

1 comment:

bek said...

Good onya!

I know how you feel! Im glad you were able to say 'no'.

hope things start to look up for ya!