Thank you all who have emailed, texted, phoned, offered help or prayed for me after yesterday's post. I especially appreciate the prayers as my few prayers seem to lack substance at the moment.
At the moment, I'm quite woolly-headed due to a sleeping pill I took last night. Yesterday I bought some over-the-counter ones and they have made me so groggy, I have decided to stop taking them. Today, I saw a doctor who has prescribed me some different sleeping pills which hopefully won't have such a drastic effect. After only taking one of the other ones, I feel like I could sleep for years. Pity I have to work.
I asked the doctor if she could prescribe me some anti-anxiety tablets but she wouldn't, saying that they will turn me into an absolute zombie. I guess the sleeping pills will have to be enough. For those of you, who like my mum, may be worried that I'm going to turn into a drug addict - don't worry. It's only a very short course and hopefully my sleeping patterns will be fixed so I won't be nocturnal anymore and will be able to be much more calm.
The wedding is going ahead in its current form.....but we're going to need lots of help. Duncan and I met up last night and we walked through the park near my house, discussing what the issues are. Although there are a few niggly things hanging over my head that need to be done, I think it's my fear of the day itself that is making me so anxious. In particular it's the reception that will be the most daunting - having to go around to 18+ tables and greet people, starting many different conversations, being torn in 50 different directions. I just find it too physically and emotionally draining. So we're asking our mums to go around to the different tables (which my mum had planned to anyway) and greet people on our behalf in case we can't get over there. If I do, I plan to say a short greeting and that's it. The rest can be thanked in our speech. Part of me is annoyed that I won't get to enjoy much of own reception; it'll be too much of a whirlwind.
We're still both pretty daunted and anxious but Duncan said today, "God will help us through it."
Part of me still wants to elope but then I also want to be able to cope with the same style of wedding that most people have.
My prayer is that it ends up being like the Melbourne experience. I was so nervous and stressed leading up to it, with my presentation and all, but once I got there, the fears melted away. I would actually really like to enjoy my wedding day.
I already have people onto different tasks and they are a great help. Thank you!
I also handed in my resignation at work yesterday. It is such a tremendous relief!
I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a decent night's sleep tonight and having a better day tomorrow.
2 comments:
Since yesterday's post you have been on my mind. I wasn't sure if there was anything that I could say that would help that hasn't been said already. I just want you to know that I have been where you are and am thinking and praying for you both. I hope that as time goes by you will be able to look forward to your special day. I hope that you know that the pressure is likely to evaporate as you look into Duncan's eyes in April and become his wife which is what its all about. Thinking of you both.
Thanks Amanda. I really appreciate your thoughts and prayers :)
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