As we head off this weekend to the surprise destination Duncan has planned, I thought I'd share our story with you all. If you were at our wedding reception, some of this may sound familiar. Now, before I start, let me hear you say awwwwwwww. :)
Some people say they have a 'love at first sight' moment. My love at first sight moment passed me by; but the attraction unfolded over many months. It all began in mid 2003. I first met Duncan's brother, Clayton, through the Christian Union at my uni in 2002 and we wound up at the same church. One night, Clayton brought a guy along with him, and I suspected it was his brother before we were even introduced. They looked alike! My first thought when Duncan and I were introduced after the service was, Oh ok this guy's all right. In fact, the first thought that tended to enter my head when introduced to any single bloke at that stage was whether they were 'all right'. But it was a very fleeting thought. The main thought that stuck with me was that he smiled a lot. He was this smiley bloke standing there, grinning at me. We said hi and that was all there was to it. Duncan lived in Busselton at that stage and I didn't see him again for about a year.
Early in 2004, I went to my friend Sarah's murder mystery dinner. Clayton was there along with a host of mutual friends. I can't remember what on earth we were talking about, but suddenly Clayton turned to me.
"You should go out with my brother, Duncan."
I was like, "Huh?" It was completely random!
"I've only met him once," I responded.
"He's a top bloke. You should go out with him."
"I'm sure he is, but I hardly know him."
I happened to be interested in someone else at the time. The thought of being randomly set up with a friend's brother was just completely bizarre. Years later, when Duncan and I were together, I reminded Clayton about that night, but he couldn't remember saying any of it! Perhaps he's some kind of prophet.
The next year, Duncan was back visiting my church, but this time he had a girl with him. I assumed (correctly) that she was his girlfriend, and didn't look twice at him. He had a girlfriend, there was no point even considering him.
By the end of 2005, I'd heard that Duncan was planning to move to Perth at the start of 2006 to begin a roof carpentry apprenticeship and that he was dating a girl from my church. They split up after about six weeks, and when I saw his face at our church dinner, I felt so bad for him. He looked completely crushed.
My first major dealing with Duncan happened at the start of the year when a group of us went camping at Margaret River, and I got sick. Duncan, Clayton and Clayton's girlfriend at the time took me to the hospital so I could get an injection to stop the nausea. He teased me relentlessly about this for months afterwards, making sure I was drinking enough water, and generally administering mock concern.
Suddenly, along with our friend, Craig, there were two new single guys at church which, I know for a fact, caused more than a bit of interest among the single girls! Craig soon started going out with Sarah, who I'd known for years, but finally started becoming friends with through our women's Bible study. They'd only been going out for a few months when Craig decided to have a movie night and Duncan and I found ourselves over at his place, along with several others, to watch King Kong and the four of us started becoming good friends.
I started getting to know Duncan better over those months in 2006. I discovered what a cheeky little stirrer he is, and we had some good laughs. There is a classic photo of us at a friend's house where Duncan is tickling me with the leaf of an indoor plant, and I'm pretending to cry. We had this photo displayed on the screen on our wedding day as people arrived at the church. Yes, I know...we're weirdos! But I just love this photo!
On another occasion at church, the service leader announced it was time for the children to go out for Sunday School, and Duncan happened to be sitting in front of me. He turned around with one of his characteristic smirks and said, 'Well, off you go then, Sarah." Another time, we were hanging out at supper after church and I was feeling quite tired so I decided I should hit the hay.
"Goodnight," I said to everyone. "I'm off to get my beauty sleep."
Duncan replied, "So it's gonna be a long sleep then, Sarah."
I couldn't help but laugh, yet I was determined to get him back.
At another supper, Duncan stood up and yawned, then looked at me and said, 'I think I'll go and get my beauty sleep."
I replied. "So it's gonna be a coma then, Duncan."
He stared at me, fighting the urge to laugh, yet appearing completely horrified that I had beaten him at his own game. Yes, he had met his match!
It wasn't just Duncan's unique sense of humour that caught my attention; I was impressed by his attitude towards God. Unlike some other young Christian blokes I'd met, he was very humble. He didn't claim to know everything about God. He didn't tell me about his 10-year plan and how he wanted a wife who would fit into it. He never made me feel like I wasn't good enough. It was very refreshing.
It was until August of that year that I realised my feelings towards Duncan were changing. Suddenly I was aware of where he was in the room. I think I spent the entire church camp stalking him, much to his oblivion. At another of Craig's movie nights, I spent more time watching Duncan than I did watching Munich. I began to fight my feelings, to wrestle with them even. I was interested in another bloke at the time, but slowly my feelings for him lessened and I felt God pointing me towards Duncan. It was ridiculous, I argued. I didn't want these feelings. I knew he wouldn't be around for much longer.
By this time, it was a well-known fact that Duncan wasn't happy with city life and had accepted a job on a farm (where we currently are now). He was leaving at the beginning of October. Nothing was ever going to happen. By this stage, I was already depressed about a lot of things, and I slid further into a darkness that lasted for less than a month, but felt like forever. I remember talking to Duncan a few weeks before he left, and I told him quite seriously that I would miss him. He scoffed jokingly.
"You won't miss me."
Then a week or so later, it was my turn to host church supper. I was standing in my kitchen, watching everyone help themselves to the food, when Clayton sidled up next to me, evidently noticed where I was staring and said, "He's a catch, you know."
I was horrified. I'd been staring at Duncan unashamedly, and probably rather wistfully, while he loaded up his plate. How embarrassing! I quickly averted my eyes, and pretended not to know what Clayton was talking about. That was another one of his 'prophetic' moments that he claims not to remember!
By the end of September, I resigned myself to the fact that nothing was ever going to happen between Duncan and I, and that I needed to get over it and move on. I began experiencing a most incredible peace, the first time in my life that I had ever felt that. I busied myself with various ministries, went to several engagement parties, and went over to Craig's to watch the Eagles win the Grand Final. I insisted that he invite Duncan. I knew Duncan was somewhat into footy after all. After the incredible one-point win, I gave Duncan a hug goodbye.
I thought that God had closed the door, and I accepted that.
I was wrong.
To be continued....
2 comments:
awwwwwww
(deleted above as it didn't come out right)
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