It's My Party by Lesley Gore

I've been asked quite a few times if I'm having a 30th birthday party.  If they'd asked me just after our baby shower I'd have said 'no'.  I was fed up with people not RSVPing to things.  I didn't want to make such an effort to have a party only to wait for people to decide whether or not my party would be fun enough for them, or if they'd get a better offer for someone else.

Then I changed my mind.  So, if they'd asked me not long before Rory was born I'd have said 'yes'.  I planned to have my party on the farm, before my birthday and before seeding started.  As soon as Rory arrived and I was deeply depressed, I scrapped that idea.  The date I'd originally chosen was Saturday 6th April.  That ended up being the date I arrived at the MBU.

If you ask me now you'll get the answer, 'not yet'.  When I'm feeling a bit more robust I'll organise a party.  That probably won't be until September or October.  A bit belated but better late than never.  Since I want to have it outside I'll need to wait for finer weather.

I've always had mixed feelings towards hosting parties.  The idea sounds good but they're so much work.  I've had my fair share of parties that turned out to be flops...mostly in primary school.  Girls being bitchy.  Friends would 'go off' with other friends (leave the party because they thought it was boring so I'd be left with hardly anyone there), or they'd remain at the party but get in their little cliques and bitch and gossip.  I remember my 9th birthday party.  I invited two people and they went off and hid in my backyard.  I felt like a fool for having a party.

In later years the parties were better, but I still had to deal with people saying they'd come and then not turn up because they got a better offer.  Friends not coming because they didn't like one of the other guests.  Friends not replying at all and me having no idea whether they'd randomly show up on the day *sigh*.

I'm going to be very choosy who I invite this year.  Some people are on their last chance, honestly.  I want my 30th to be a memorable occasion.  I've felt like I can relate to these lyrics in the past, but this year no-one is going to be ruining my big night.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too if it happened to you.

Lyrics sourced from here.