You Eat Crap, You Look Like Crap

Argh!

I just weighed myself this morning for the first time in a while and I've put on more than three kilos. How did that happen?

No, I'll tell you how it happened. October has been birthday month and when there are birthdays there is bound to be cake - and lots of it! Chocolate Friday hasn't been going so well lately (its become many other days of the week) and I'm finding it difficult to think of anything but food. I think this is due to having a boring job so my mind wanders. It's nearly exam time and I've stopped teaching classes and have less shifts on the Reference desk. So I sit at my desk and always feel hungry - and them I succumb to temptation. Maybe I should get a different job? Perhaps if I was doing physical labour I wouldn't have time to be hungry. Maybe I could chew gum to distract myself like smokers do? Or maybe I should just learn more self-control. Curse my sweet tooth!

I bet you're thinking "Poor Sarah. There are starving children in the world and all she thinks about is gaining a few kilos." I know I'm not fat but this is the most I've weighed in my life. I may not look any bigger than normal but I know and I'm not happy about it. From now, I'm on a strict diet. With God's help, I know I can control my eating. Don't worry, I'm not about to starve myself or go on one of those weird diets. I just want to be back to the weight I was before and I'm aiming to lose about four kilos. I get annoyed when people complain about their weight but keep stuffing themselves and don't do a thing about it. My plan of action started today - I resisted the calls of the food at the Carousel when I went shopping with Emma and my dinner tonight consisted of salad, fruit and yogurt. Junk food night is now going to be on Tuesdays cos that's when I have Bible study and being in a women's group, there's always plenty of chocolate. I'm on my way from misery to happiness today.

I had to take a long hard look at myself. Why do I care about this when God and many people I know are never to going to judge how I look? I DON'T admire stick-thin Hollywood stars but maybe I'm more influenced by the world than I would like to admit.