Monday, October 15, 2007

Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: The Art of Mingling

Our engagement party is looming...it's this Saturday!

Apart from the usual stresses that come with organising a gathering (food, drinks, tables, RSVPs, weather)...I'm also worried about the socialising side of the party. Not about me socialising with our guests but rather how they will socialise with each other.

You see, with any gathering, you are going to have certain 'cliques' of people - family, school friends, work friends, church friends etc. And that's fine. They are going to come along and enjoy catching up with the rest of the people in their particular clique as well as catching up with us. In fact, they probably won't hold it against us if we don't get to talk to them that much during the party because a) we see a lot of them regularly anyway and b) they'll be happy just socialising with their clique.

But then there are a few people coming who don't know anyone, except Duncan or I. Some of my friends only know me, they haven't met Duncan yet and certainly don't know any of my family or other friends. These people include a couple of my uni friends (who don't really know each other), a couple from student housing (who are married to each other) and my housemate, Aimee.

I don't want them to be uncomfortable and end up leaving early because they don't know anyone and nobody else bothers to talk to them. I know how I feel at parties where I only know the host and I'm too shy to go and introduce myself because everyone else knows each other and are having a great old time. I usually go just so I can make the host happy by making an 'appearance' and count down the minutes until I can leave.

I don't want people to feel like that at my party. Sure, I'll introduce them to my friends but I can't MAKE them talk to each other. I've had a word to a few of my friends, asking them if they wouldn't mind including the 'loners' and making them feel welcome. As much as I want to, I won't be able to spend the entire party looking after the lonely people because I do want to at least greet everyone and will be flittering around, looking after the food etc.

Now I want to hear from you. Do you have any advice/experiences you can share on how to get people to 'mingle'? I'm not trying to make everyone 'meet someone new' but I do want everyone to feel comfortable. I realise all I can do is introduce people and that some people are just painfully shy and will find it difficult to strike up conversations with strangers.

How do you go at parties when you don't know anyone except the host? Are you shy or outgoing when it comes to meeting new people?

I'm feeling at the moment that my priorities are people who don't know anyone, people I haven't seen for a long time or aren't from Perth and people I haven't met yet (ie. some of Dunc's family and friends) so I can at least introduce myself. That's not to say, that I don't care about my other guests and I want to talk to them....but I know they'll be happy anyway.

Would you prioritise some of your guests over others?

6 comments:

bek said...

We found it so hard to even say hi to everyone who came to our engagement! There were some people who came that we didnt even get to chat to!

We had some games - fun games that got everyone involved. This helped break the ice for some people. When people are standing around laughing, they are more inclined to speak to people they have never met.

Just a thought....however sometimes its hard to get people outta their comfort zones and actually play a game!

bek said...

that wasnt really any help at all was it!! sorry!

Sarah said...

Thanks, that was helpful. The thought of games occurred to me last night actually....they are good icebreakers. I don't have time to organise games and with the number of guests we'll have it'd be too hard but I'll see if someone can bring sporting gear and we could play soccer or cricket or something. Of course, some people won't want to participate so there's really not much else I can do, I guess.

Iris Flavia said...

I know the loner´s side ;-)
But then as a loner you know what to expect - feel happy if you get in contact with nice people and don´t be disappointed if it doesn´t happen.

I think, if the host pointed out I am a loner by especially coming over to me... um. Even more embarrassing? Not quite sure. But hopefully the loners "find" each other and you can enjoy your party, as well as they do.

I don´t think you´ll work with seating arrangements. If you do you can use that as well. But fun games sure do best, I suppose.
Wish you a great party for all :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah, yeah I reckon introduce ppl by saying something about them, eg, "Liz - This is Lisa, she works at Curtin Library. Lisa, Liz went to my high school in Albany" so the two ppl have something to start a conversation from. Also introducing a loner to 2 ppl at once is good, then they know 2 ppl and the other ppl don't feel the the weight of looking after the loner all by themselves. But you're good at making ppl feel at home anyway.
Jane Reeve

Sarah said...

Thanks Janey. Yeah I know when I've been introduced to a new person sometimes, we've found out a few general things about each other but then the conversation sort of dried up and then there was an uncomfortable silence and we weren't sure what to do next. I will endeavour to introduce 'loners' to a few people together rather than just one as it might help conversations flow easier.