Diary of a Wedding Planning Machine: My Right Hand Women

Yesterday, I took the day off work and went bridesmaid dress shopping with my four bridesmaids. Since they were all in Perth at the same time, we had to grab the chance to go (will blog about the engagement party and post photos later ;) ).

Choosing the bridal party is a very important part of planning a wedding. These are the people who are going to be beside you on the big day, to support, encourage and help out practically. Therefore, choosing people who are considerate, available, helpful, organised and unselfish is essential in my opinion.

I've heard some horror stories about bridesmaid-zillas who have tried to steal the attention away from the bride and groom and make the wedding all about THEM. These shallow creatures have complained about the dress, been unavailable to help and some have pulled out at the last minute without giving an explanation.

When Emma was making plans for her wedding, I didn't want to make things even more stressful for her than they already were. This included not complaining about my bridesmaid's dress. I loved my dress, Emma has good taste and even if she chose something that wasn't great, it's not my right to whinge. Bridesmaid dresses can always be sold later.

I think it's also important to realise that the bridal party are responsible for organising the hens and bucks nights and you need to be able to trust them. Neither Duncan or I wanted anyone who was going to do stuff to us that was downright inappropriate (ie. strippers). There's fun and then there's stuff that's just wrong. The bride and groom should have a good time and not be miserable and humiliated. Someone I know (who's a Christian) mentioned once that he had a non Christian friend as his best man and this guy hired a stripper for the bucks night. The groom to be ended up walking out of his own bucks party so as to not dishonour God or his future wife.

Luckily, my girls aren't like that...obviously, that's why I chose them. They are all friends from high school - Rhianon, Emma (who I used to live with and was a bridesmaid for), Christina and Rianna. They aren't my oldest friends but the ones I have remained closest with for a long period of time. I have fond memories of high school days with these girls and they played a pretty big part in introducing me to Christ. Also, the fact that they are friends with each other and will have no problem planning stuff together is an added bonus.

Duncan is having four groomsmen as well - Jamin (a friend of his he knows from camps), Clayton (his bro), Simon (his cousin) and Craig (a mate of ours from church). Well before we got engaged, we were talking about bridal parties and it turned out we both wanted four attendants and had it planned for a long time. Funny how things work out.

Four is the maximum number of bridemaids I would have. Otherwise it's just too hard getting them all together at one time. Some of my single friends say they want eight or more bridesmaids if they get married...crazy! And we decided against flowergirls etc because neither of us have nieces or nephews and it gets too hard with kids as well. I don't want some little kid having a tantrum in the middle of the ceremony! My mum had my cousin as her flowergirl. She was four at the time (she's 38 now!) and she had a tantrum, although luckily it wasn't just before she was to go down the aisle!

Some people have their pets involved in the ceremony and I've been asked if I was going to have Ebony there. Not likely...I can't imagine her doing as she's told ;)

I don't think brides or grooms should feel pressure to have anyone in the bridal party who they don't really want. There are stupid traditions that involve the groom having the bride's brother as a groomsmen or the bride having the groom's sister as a bridesmaid. Duncan doesn't have a sister and, even if he did, I wouldn't have her unless we were really close. Likewise he's only met Tim a couple of times. You should have who YOU want in the bridal party. Some brides bow to pressure and include friends who get in a mood with them for not including them originally.

So yesterday we went to the city on a dress hunting mission and have narrowed it down to a few options which will probably have to be ordered in from over east. I'm waiting to hear back about prices, sizes and designs. Finding dresses to suit everyone is a challenge when different body shapes and tastes in clothes come into it but hopefully we can find something that everyone is happy with.

Some brides have a very clear view about what they want their bridesmaids to wear...I'm not one of them. I find it difficult to design clothes in my head so I decided to just go along and see what was in the shops. My main criteria was that the dresses weren't really revealing with high splits and cleavage hanging out everywhere. I just wanted them to feel comfortable.

Now, it's over to you. What would you look for when choosing a bridal party? If you're married, tell me about your experiences. Were your bridal party a hindrance or a help? (you can remain anonymous if you're afraid they might somehow find and read this....)