WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
1. I was driving with my three young children one summer evening when a woman in a convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mum, that lady isn't wearing a seatbelt!"
2. On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.
3. A woman was trying to get tomato sauce out of the bottle. During the struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.
"Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
4. A little boy got lost at the gym and ended up in the women's changeroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
5. It was the end of the day when I parked my police van behind the station. As I gathered my equipment, my canine partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What did he do?"
6. While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to elderly housebound people, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
7. A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his suit, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
8. A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf which had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mum, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."