Going Downhill

Today I had a follow-up appointment with our nearest mental health service. It couldn't have come soon enough as I've been going downhill during the last month or so. The bad days have become more frequent, I feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with daily tasks and stresses, and, to be frank, I've wanted to end it all. I'm probably on par with how I was when I first went to hospital, but I don't want to be readmitted. It would break Rory's heart. I can't do that to him.

My medication is getting increased and I'll have a mental health nurse visiting me weekly at home, but, other than that, there's not much more they can do. There's just no other support available locally. I really need in-house help, but there's no-one.

I feel angry. I don't want to move to Perth, but I want the support services that my MBU friends get. I don't have the energy required to move to the city, but I can't see how I'll ever get well out here.