What's one of the worst things a friend can say to you when you're finding life hard?
"You're not the only one."
What? I hear you say. Surely they're being empathetic, they're being....nice.
You see, it all depends on the tone.
They could mean, Don't feel alone. I understand what you're going through, because I'm going through it, too. That's being nice.
Then there's, You're not the only one with a hard life. Mine is harder. My husband works longer hours, my kids' behaviour is more challenging, I don't have supportive family, I'm in worse health, I have less friends. So, don't you dare complain, because my life's WORSE.
I've had people do the latter to me and it really hurts. I'm in no way implying that my life is the HARDEST there EVER is. I'm saying that I'M finding life hard right now. I'm struggling to cope with what's on my plate.
You see, when women make life into a kind of suffering competition it makes it more intimidating for other women to open up and be authentic.
Remember, your friend is is finding life is hard for THEM.