Friday, June 07, 2013

Friday Funny


1.  The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4.  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6.  A dog gave birth to puppies near the side of the road and was cited for littering.

7.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8.  Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

9.  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

10.  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

11.  Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

12.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

13.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

14.  A sign on the lawn at the drug rehab centre said, "Keep off the grass."

15.  The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

16.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste for religion.

17.  If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.